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Cellardorian

offline 23 friends
joined on 09/16/06
last updated 09/17/07
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Real men hold hands!

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My Bio

Gender
Male
Age
26
Location
about me
Who i am is always changing, so i would probably give you a look as though i were chewing on locusts and sauerkraut if you were to inquire on the topic. Not that I wouldn’t welcome inquiry – just my face would involuntarily screw itself up only because i simply wouldn’t know what to say. Hehe… actually you would probably get an earful - i’ve been acquainted with an ego for nearly 24 years that is an apparent expert on the subject.

i am attracted to places in this world which still have room for mystery, or at least the lingering scent of it.

…and i'm haunted by a ghost that dwells in the deepest parts of me, yet at the same time haunts the very edges of who i know myself to be, with a promise of who I am yet to become. No more than a faint apparition, fainter still in my most solitary times, when the pain of separation becomes my misery. Yet it is a presence still, as undeniable as breathing.

I want to experience life in the fullest... to penetrate this universe from the inside-out, through the food I eat, the air I breath, the thoughts I think, all through my body and into the world before me. I love vegan cooking, yoga, oh! …and I live to dance.

i enjoy writing, long walks on the beach (hehe), making videos and films, performing and experimenting with the amazing, tantric display of this world. i guess you could say I’m a bit of an activist too - Yamantaka behind/inside me, I’m hell-bent on affecting some change around here.

I love rain.

If I were to say what I wish to do with my life, I would say, I wish to choose compassion over fear - if a wish means i can be with my will.

... i extend to whoever is reading this the same inquiry which melts my mind – who are you?

Perhaps one day I’ll find out, perhaps one day you will!

xo
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Some Wisdom to share...

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thoughts or just eggs hatching?

White Owl Flies Into and Out of the Field
by Mary Oliver

Coming down out of the freezing sky
with its depths of light,
like an angel, or a Buddha with wings,
it was beautiful, and accurate,
striking the snow and whatever was there
with a force that left the imprint
of the tips of its wings — five feet apart —
and the grabbing thrust of its feet,
and the indentation of what had been running
through the white valleys of the snow —
and then it rose, gracefully,
and flew back to the frozen marshes
to lurk there, like a little lighthouse,
in the blue shadows —
so I thought:
maybe death isn't darkness, after all,
but so much light wrapping itself around us —

as soft as feathers —
that we are instantly weary of looking, and looking,
and shut our eyes, not without amazement,
and let ourselves be carried,
as through the translucence of mica,
to the river that is without the least dapple or shadow,
that is nothing but light — scalding, aortal light —
in which we are washed and washed
out of our bones.
Fri, July 6, 2007 - 10:33 PM permalink - 1 comment
 
woodcut print by Gustave Dore

***

PARADISO: Cantos 31

Dante Alighieri
translated by Henry W. Longfellow

***

IN fashion then as of a snow-white rose
Displayed itself to me the saintly host,
Whom Christ in his own blood had made his bride,

But the other host, that flying sees and sings
The glory of Him who doth enamour it,
And the goodness that created it so noble,

Even as a swarm of bees, that sinks in flowers
One moment, and the next returns again
To where its labour is to sweetness turned,

Sank into the great flower, that is adorned
With leaves so many, and thence reascended
To where its love abideth evermore.

Their faces had they all of living flame,
And wings of gold, and all the rest so white
No snow unto that limit doth attain.

From bench to bench, into the flower descending,
They carried something of the peace and ardour
Which by the fanning of their flanks they won.

Nor did the interposing 'twixt the flower
And what was o'er it of such plenitude
Of flying shapes impede the sight and splendour;

Because the light divine so penetrates
The universe, according to its merit,
That naught can be an obstacle against it.

This realm secure and full of gladsomeness,
Crowded with ancient people and with modern,
Unto one mark had all its look and love.

O Trinal Light, that in a single star
Sparkling upon their sight so satisfies them,
Look down upon our tempest here below!

If the barbarians, coming from some region
That every day by Helice is covered,
Revolving with her son whom she delights in,

Beholding Rome and all her noble works,
Were wonder-struck, what time the Lateran
Above all mortal things was eminent, --

I who to the divine had from the human,
From time unto eternity, had come,
From Florence to a people just and sane,

With what amazement must I have been filled!
Truly between this and the joy, it was
My pleasure not to hear, and to be mute.

And as a pilgrim who delighteth him
In gazing round the temple of his vow,
And hopes some day to retell how it was,

So through the living light my way pursuing
Directed I mine eyes o'er all the ranks,
Now up, now down, and now all round about.

Faces I saw of charity persuasive,
Embellished by His light and their own smile,
And attitudes adorned with every grace.

The general form of Paradise already
My glance had comprehended as a whole,
In no part hitherto remaining fixed,

And round I turned me with rekindled wish
My Lady to interrogate of things
Concerning which my mind was in suspense.

One thing I meant, another answered me;
I thought I should see Beatrice, and saw
An Old Man habited like the glorious people.

O'erflowing was he in his eyes and cheeks
With joy benign, in attitude of pity
As to a tender father is becoming.

And "She, where is she ?" instantly I said;
Whence he: "To put an end to thy desire,
Me Beatrice hath sent from mine own place.

And if thou lookest up to the third round
Of the first rank, again shalt thou behold her
Upon the throne her merits have assigned her."

Without reply I lifted up mine eyes,
And saw her, as she made herself a crown
Reflecting from herself the eternal rays.

Not from that region which the highest thunders
Is any mortal eye so far removed,
In whatsoever sea it deepest sinks,

As there from Beatrice my sight; but this
Was nothing unto me; because her image
Descended not to me by medium blurred.

"O Lady, thou in whom my hope is strong,
And who for my salvation didst endure
In Hell to leave the imprint of thy feet,

Of whatsoever things I have beheld,
As coming from thy power and from thy goodness
I recognise the virtue and the grace.

Thou from a slave hast brought me unto freedom,
By all those ways, by all the expedients,
Whereby thou hadst the power of doing it.

Preserve towards me thy magnificence,
So that this soul of mine, which thou hast healed,
Pleasing to thee be loosened from the body."

Thus I implored ; and she, so far away,
Smiled, as it seemed, and looked once more at me
Then unto the eternal fountain turned.

And said the Old Man holy: "That thou mayst
Accomplish perfectly thy journeying,
Whereunto prayer and holy love have sent me,

Fly with thine eyes all round about this garden
For seeing it will discipline thy sight
Farther to mount along the ray divine.

And she, the Queen of Heaven, for whom I burn
Wholly with love, will grant us every grace,
Because that I her faithful Bernard am.''

As he who peradventure from Croatia
Cometh to gaze at our Veronica,
Who through its ancient fame is never sated,

But says in thought, the while it is displayed,
"My Lord, Christ Jesus, God of very God,
Now was your semblance made like unto this ?"

Even such was I while gazing at the living
Charity of the man, who in this world
By contemplation tasted of that peace.

"Thou son of grace, this jocund life," began he,
"Will not be known to thee by keeping ever
Thine eyes below here on the lowest place

But mark the circles to the most remote,
Until thou shalt behold enthroned the Queen
To whom this realm is subject and devoted."

I lifted up mine eyes, and as at morn
The oriental part of the horizon
Surpasses that wherein the sun goes down,

Thus, as if going with mine eyes from vale
To mount, I saw a part in the remoteness
Surpass in splendour all the other front.

And even as there where we await the pole
That Phaeton drove badly, blazes more
The light, and is on either side diminished,

So likewise that pacific oriflamme
Gleamed brightest in the centre, and each side
In equal measure did the flame abate.

And at that centre, with their wings expanded,
More than a thousand jubilant Angels saw I,
Each differing in effulgence and in kind.

I saw there at their sports and at their songs
A beauty smiling, which the gladness was
Within the eyes of all the other saints

And if I had in speaking as much wealth
As in imagining, I should not dare
To attempt the smallest part of its delight

Bernard, as soon as he beheld mine eyes
Fixed and intent upon its fervid fervour,
His own with such affection turned to her

That it made mine more ardent to behold.

***

dante.ilt.columbia.edu/new/index.html
dore.artpassions.net/
Fri, July 6, 2007 - 9:53 PM permalink - 0 comments
 
Writings of
St. Hildegard von Bingen (1098-1179)
on the Holy Spirit Wisdom

Borrowed from: www.wheeloftheyear.com/refere...ard.htm

* * *

Oh children of humanity, why have you corrupted tender Love, who gazes far into my depths and flows forth in works abounding? Because She flows within me, from Her in turn flow the living waters. She resembles a budding branch, for, as a virgin's embraces are most tender because of her integrity, even so Love's embraces are more tender than those of any other. But now She mourns, because audacious men tear her to pieces with their evil grumbling. Hence, She flees from them to that height whence She came, and weeps because Her children, whom She suckled at Her fertile breasts, fall sick and will not be cleansed from the corruption of their flighty minds.

O wretched humanity! Why do they take on themselves the misery of alienation and exile, tearing themselves away... She is always ready... Yet they separate themselves from the Bride, whence they are darkened and shadowed by clouds as if they had ruptured heaven.

The Holy Spirit as Caritas (Grace/World Soul)
St. Hildegard von Bingen
trans. B. Newman (mod.)

* * *

I heard a voice saying to me, "This Lady whom you see is Love, who has Her dwelling place in eternity. When God wished to create the world, He leaned down, and with tender Love, provided all that was needed, as a parent prepares an inheritance for a child. And thus, in a mighty blaze the Lord ordained all His works.

Then creation recognized its Creator in its own forms and appearances. For in the beginning, when God said, "Let it be!" and it came to pass, the means and the Matrix of creation was Love, because all creation was formed through Her as in the twinkling of an eye.

The Holy Spirit as Sapientia (Wisdom/Creatrix)
St. Hildegard von Bingen
trans. B. Newman (mod.)

* * *

I am Wisdom. Mine is the blast of the resounding Word through which all creation came to be, and I quickened all things with my breath so that not one of them is mortal in its kind; for I am Life. Indeed I am Life, whole and undivided -- not hewn from any stone, or budded from branches, or rooted in virile strength; but all that lives has its root in Me. For Wisdom is the root whose blossom is the resounding Word....

I flame above the beauty of the fields to signify the earth -- the matter from which humanity was made. I shine in the waters to indicate the soul, for, as water suffuses the whole earth, the soul pervades the whole body. I burn in the sun and the moon to denote Wisdom, and the stars are the innumerable words of Wisdom.

The Holy Spirit as Caritas (Grace/World Soul & Wisdom/Creatrix)
St. Hildegard von Bingen
trans. B. Newman (mod.)

* * *

May the Holy Spirit cleanse you from all faults of malice, and win you the friendship of Love, most sweet, most tender; who captured the mighty Stag and poured forth song above all heavens; who entered the bridal chamber of all the King's mysteries; and who revealed Herself in all Her beauty in the mirror of the Cherubim.

The Holy Spirit as Caritas (Grace/World Soul)
St. Hildegard von Bingen
trans. B. Newman (mod.)

* * *

I am the Supreme and Fiery Force who kindles every living spark....As I circled the whirling sphere with my upper wings (that is, with Wisdom), rightly I ordained it. And I am the fiery life of the Divine essence: I flame above the beauty of the fields; I shine in the waters; I burn in the sun, the moon, and the stars. And, with the airy wind, I quicken all things vitally by an unseen, all-sustaining life. For the air is alive in the verdure and the flowers; the waters flow as if they lived; the sun too lives in its light; and when the moon wanes it is rekindled by the light of the sun, as if it lived anew. Even the stars glisten in their light as if alive.

The Holy Spirit as Caritas (Grace/World Soul)
St. Hildegard von Bingen
trans. B. Newman (mod.)

* * *

She is Divine Wisdom. She watches over all people and all things in heaven and on earth, being of such radiance and brightness that, for the measureless splendor that shines in Her, you cannot gaze on Her face or on the garments She wears. For She is awesome in terror as the Thunderer's lightening, and gentle in goodness as the sunshine. Hence, in Her terror and Her gentleness, She is incomprehensible to mortals, because of the dread radiance of divinity in Her face and the brightness that dwells in Her as the robe of Her beauty. She is like the Sun, which none can contemplate in its blazing face or in the glorious garment of its rays. For She is with all and in all, and of beauty so great in Her mystery that no one could know how sweetly She bears with people, and with what unfathomable mercy She spares them.

The Holy Spirit as Wisdom: Scientia Dei (Knowledge of God)
St. Hildegard von Bingen
trans. B. Newman (mod.)

[Primary source: B. Newman, Sister of Wisdom: St. Hildegard's Theology of the Feminine (1987). See also L. Boff, O.F.M., The Maternal Face of God (1987); F. Bowie & O. Davies, Eds., Hildegard of Bingen: Mystical Writings (1990); E. Johnson, C.S.J., Women, Earth, and Creator Spirit (1993); C. Matthews, Sophia, Goddess of Wisdom (1991); B. M. Meehan, S.S.C., Delighting in the Feminine Divine (1994); B. M. Meehan, S.S.C., Exploring the Feminine Face of God: A Prayerful Journey (1991); T. Schipflinger, Sophia-Maria (1998); G. Uhlein, O.S.F., Meditations with Hildegard of Bingen (1983).
Fri, July 6, 2007 - 9:04 PM permalink - 0 comments
 
"Pearls of Knowledge" - from the Secret Rose Garden by Shabistari (c.1250-1320)

In the Sea of 'Uman, the pearl oysters
Rise to the surface from the lowest depths,
And wait with opened mouths.
Then arises from the sea a mist,
Which falls again in raindrops
Into the mouths of the shells
(At the command of Truth).
Straightway is each closed as by a hundred bonds,
And the shells sink back again
Into the Ocean's depths,
Bearing in their hearts the pearl drops
Which the divers seek and find.

The sea is Being, the shore the body;
The mist, grace, and the rain, knowledge of the Name.
Human wisdom is the diver
Who holds enwrapped in his garment
A hundred pearls;
The soul in a swift lightning's flash
Bears to the listening ear voices and messages
From the shells of knowledge;
Then when the husks are opened,
Behold the royal shimmering pearls!

From the Bustan of Sa'di:

A single drop of rain fell from a cloud in the sky,
But was filled with shame when it saw the sea so wide.
'Next to the sea then, who am I?
If the sea exists, then how can I?'

While looking down on itself
With the eyes of contempt,
An oyster in its shell,
Took it in for nourishment.

And so it was, that its fate was sealed by this event,
And it became a famous pearl fit to adore a king's head.
Having descended to the depths,
It was now exalted to the heights.
On the portal of non-existence it went knocking,
Until it finally was transformed into being.

from Kabir, d. 1518:

All know that the drop merges into the ocean but few know that the ocean merges into the drop.


...love and light my friends,

Keith
Wed, June 20, 2007 - 3:15 PM permalink - 1 comment
 
You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
For a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.

Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting --
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.
Mon, September 18, 2006 - 12:22 PM permalink - 1 comment
 
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