If you're ever having a bad day you really should try to spend some time inside of Matty's head. It is an extremely pleasant, if frenetic, place, populated by little convoluted brightly colored boxy things and odd animals with funny zoomorphic faces and neon air-zapping letters that bleed down the walls into perfectly sensible nonsensical fairy tales. Also it is warm and fuzzy and kind of soft, like the inside of the jellyfish, and squishy tentacles wiggle out from the walls and massage into your own brain. You can read whole books of Life inside there when you're getting bored with the textural tactility of it all, and no doubt you will be unable to identify the excellent music that constantly changes. I highly recommend it!

Welcome to the Matthew 2000 product home page! The Matty 2K (or M2K as it is known) is a gently used, previously enjoyed and slightly stale from being past expiration date model that is still every homemaker's dream! This deluxe model comes with all the standard features, bonus features and add-ons that one has come to expect with a product of this quality. Available now only in stores but As Seen on TV, the M2K unit slices, dices, rices, rinses, blintzes, blends, purees, whips, julinennes, filets, cook, chops, chips, dips, rips, nips, notches, botches, enriches, encroaches, mixes, mashes, mushes, merges, purges, picks, preens, prunes, preps, shleps, shlurps, burps, burns, chars, grills, sears, sautes, sponges, slicks, wicks, wipes, swipes, sweeps, vacuums, dusts, scrubs, mops, polishes, cleans, creams, salves, bathes, showers, hoses, washes your car, rotates your tires, changes your oil, checks your dipstick, cleans your windshield, pumps your gas, pumps your ass, reroofs, reshingles, retouches, weeds, rakes, shovels, nails, screws, hammers, pinches, grinds, sands, saws, smoothes, soothes, toothes, changes diapers, walks your dog, feeds your cat, exercises your gerbils, personal fitness trains your fish, and even does Windows! Once you have the Matty 2K you will never cease to wonder how you lived without it. And best of all, it can be yours for only four* easy* installments of only $39.99* plus shipping and handling charges*! That's right, $39.99! And if for any reason you are unsatisfied with your Matty 2K, you can return it within the first 30 minutes for a full refund*. This is an offer you can't refuse. Call in within the next ten minutes and we'll throw in an assortment of witty tee-shirts to decorate your M2K with as well, for free*. Even if you decide to return the M2K unit they will be yours to keep as our gift* to you. So call now! We can't make the best decision you'll ever make in your entire life just for you, only you can take that first step, so call 1-800-MATTY-2K right now. That's right, 1-800-MATTY-2K. Our operators are standing by, so call 1- 800-MATTY-2K. That's 1-800-MATTY-2K. Call now! If you call in the next ten minutes, we'll throw in a free set of saxophone lessons and a sample size jar of Nutria Anus Balm. So make that call now, 1-800-MATTY-2K. That's right, 1- 800-MATTY-2K. Pick up your phone and call 1-800-MATTY-2K and make that first step towards personal, financial, spiritual, social and rectal freedom. 1-800-MATTY-2K. It's a toll-free* number so the call's on us! 1-800- MATTY-2K. Do it NOW!<p> * Not responsible for any typos or errors in this ad. By "four" installments we actually mean forty. By "easy" we mean that we'll keep charging your credit card until your limit is exceeded or your card cancelled. By "$39.99" we mean "$399.99." By full refund we mean only the first $39.99* payment minus a restocking fee of $2000. By "first $39.99 payment" we mean "first $399.99 payment". By "free tee-shirts" we mean free but shipping and handing costs of $2000. By "our gift" we mean that since we gave you a gift, we will be processing a lien against your home and automobile as a return gift to us. By "toll free" we mean you don't have to pay a toll, but we will be charging you $20 plus $5.99 a minute while our operators struggle with our outdated computer system. This offer void where prohibited and prohibited where void. Some restrictions may apply. Please see the fine print for more details. Contents may settle during shipping. Subject to excise tax in Texas, California and Oregon. Offer void in Florida. Not safe for use during lightning storms. Please read your manual* before operating. By "manual" we mean you'll have to call back and order a copy for only $39.99*. By "$39.99" we mean "$399.99".<p> So call now!

matilda 1 may think that her game is strong
but she has the high class of a graphix bong
she ain't nuthin but a wanna be ass-gangsta trick
the bitch don't know who she be fuckin with

so i am tellin it all up here on da tribe.net board
pimping ya into shape because you're a cheap whore
like my man the d of chuck of the enemies public
we got you sounding as if your teeth hair is the pubic

it's time to get out of the way before we be blowing up
we'll be shooting down your throat, enough to fill a cup
of the ghb gourmet taste of which you're beggin for
and we'll be happy to please when you ask for more

word

M2K is 3 years out of date. Please patch him as soon as possible. He is virally corrupt and will most likely corrupt those around him. Placing a trojan on him will help, though quarentine is the only sure-fire way of containment. Good luck.