* Take a picture of yourself right now.

* Don't change your clothes, don't fix your hair...just take a picture.

* Post that picture with NO editing.

* Post these instructions with your picture

Probably the best picture of Chas and I. Ever. Courtesy of andragon from this year's BTW (and with just a smidge of airbrushing from your's truly. What? You don't think I want to look shiny, do you???)  ;)

I'm back from this year's Between the Worlds Queer Pagan Men's gathering and still getting acclimated to my normal life at home in California. We were delayed a day getting back because the remnants of hurricane Ike shut down the Columbus airport a few minutes after we got there. After waiting in the airport for a couple-few hours they scheduled us for an early morning flight the next day, and so we stayed at what was probably the skankiest hotel I've ever stayed at. It was fine, though... I just needed a roof and a bed anyway. I was appreciative for the shelter.



This was my 2nd time attending BTW. Last year was such a life-changing event for me and while this year was more subtle, it certainly provided me with good opportunities to grow, to celebrate, and to open up.



I was grateful to be able to spend some more time with queerpaganquill (to whom Chas took a particular liking!) ;) Quill, you are a very special spirit and I am glad to know you. I also had an opportunity to connect a little bit more with world famous author Christopher Penczak (torcboy). (Sorry... but I figured I can get away with poking you from a few thousand miles away, Christopher, without fear of impalement.)  ;) It was also nice to talk a bit more deeply with garan_du, even if I probably was making a drunken fool of myself, but at least I hope I was entertaining. It's always a pleasure to see lonespiritwolf2 and technocowboy, even if we didn't get much time to spend together due to everyone's duties, and such. It was also good to connect a bit more with gillshallows, dewinblaidd, drakematrix (even though we didn't get much time chatting), illious, devinswords,grey_twolf & jrtheotter, and the adorable jeffinthebox (thank you for serenading us at the campsite). There are others, but my brain is preventing me from finding LiveJournal names right now, so perhaps I should just stop there.



This was Chas' and my "official-pseudo honeymoon", having been legally married just over a week before the start of the event. I was also teaching a couple of classes along with the keynote speech, which was a new experience for me. (For those that know me in person you might note that I generally am comfortable speaking with large groups of people while we are all together... me being up on a huge stage with a sound system and spot lights was a little... disconcerting, at first. To the extent that when I realized that I couldn't easily see my notes --and was blanking out on how I was to begin!-- I just started talking, which I'm hopeful didn't sound like babbling. ;) I think I caught my stride, though, and am grateful to have had the experience to hone my skills a bit more.



I talked a bit about life passages for the queer practitioner, and drew from the Amethyst Pentacle that Chas and I wrote some time ago. Of particular interest (to me) is the concept of resonance (i.e. like attracts like; I see myself in you) as an alternative to polarity (i.e. opposites attract; I see other in you), as well as the idea of finding ones personal godhood and living from that, as opposed to unconsciously adopting traditional roles. I decided that instead of just another talk, that I would include some meditative elements as well, since that's what I think I do best. Included was a brief journey into the Faery realm, and then a Three Souls alignment, with an emphasis on love and sexual longing being a catalyst for the three drawing together in union. Hopefully this inspired some hot spirituality later on. ;)



Upon arriving, it was great to see some familiar faces. And during my stay it was wonderful to make some new friends. I feel such a connection to this community, unlike anything that I have felt before. While I do feel deep connections to certain individuals within my various Craft and spiritual communities, this is really the first time that I have felt connected to a community as a whole. Why? I think it might be because this is an intentional community and not one that is based on automatic inclusion due to markers such as initiatory status or who's famous. BTW and the Green Faerie Grove are genuinely interested in creating a space for individuals to come together to celebrate, to laugh, to share, and to grow. While other communities have tried to market themselves as a "family" (sometimes to the extent that if you do not feel the same way then you are sometimes told you are not really a true member!) this is the first time that I would feel comfortable using that word for a group overall. It is a common queer experience that we create "families of intention", seeing as how we are often strangers in our own homes; likely the only one in our biological family unit who is queer, thus left with feelings of separateness or isolation. To fulfill the need of familial intimacy, we often choose others who are like ourselves to whom we feel a special bond. This even goes so far as to find its way into our slang, referring to other queer people as "family", to highlight this intentional communion.



So this was a family reunion for me. And I was even more excited to be able to share this with Chas, who was unable to attend last year due to care issues for his mother. I was a bit concerned about how we would react to all of this, as this is unlike anything that he had experienced before. I think it was all summed up upon returning home when he turned to me and said, "Once a year is not enough!"



A big thank you to everyone who participated in making this event successful. Your kindness, your generosity, your conversations (and your kisses!) were all an important part of the exquisite tapestry that is BTW. I already can't wait for next year!

I'm not sure if I know the difference between a hockey mom and a pitbull... but I can tell the difference between a vice president and a Jesus freak.



I especially like that part about how the war in Iraq is "God's will"... Oh, and a pipeline in Alaska is God's will, too.



Enjoy!











EDIT: More, from the Huffington Post.

This past Saturday I had the tremendous honor of handfasting and legally marrying Chas, my partner of over 15 years. While we have been married in our hearts for most of that time, it was a very moving experience for me. I got all teary-eyed during the ceremony, which I didn't expect.



I am so very grateful to those who came to witness our ceremony, and to those who played an active role in defining it. To Thorn (yezida), Morpheus (heartssdesire), Mitchell, and Jose for calling in an element... thank you. You helped t make the ceremony exactly what we wanted and needed, as you each spoke from your hearts and that means more to us than we can express.



To Anaar (anaar) who officiated the rite, bringing all the elements to center and tying our handfasting cord: Thank you so much. You were the first person to come to mind when we talked about having someone perform the ceremony and we are both so honored that you did this for us. I am proud to call you a sister and a friend.



And to everyone who came to witness and to have a slice of our Black Heart Cake... thank you. You all made this day extra special for us. I am honored to know each and every one of you and to call you friends.



My mom and sister prepared an impressive spread of food which included smoked salmon bruschetta, prosciutto-wrapped asparagus, beet and goat cheese turines, spinach dip, seviche, little caprese salad balls, watermelon-strawberry-mint salad, Swedish meatballs, lamb sausages, assorted fruits, nuts, Humboldt Fog (our favorite cheese) and a bunch of stuff I can't even think of right now. It was beautiful, and I hope someone got some pictures of the buffet table.



The cake was a three-layer heart cake, red-velvet with a layer of raspberry, covered with a dark chocolate/raspberry chambord ganache... decorated with flowers, and topped with blue roses... and made entirely by my very talented sister. And because I'm such a little kid I had to have ice cream with my cake... white chocolate raspberry truffle. :)



There were like a million bottles of champagne of which I had way too many glasses. :-/ I think I smoked a couple of cigarettes in there somewhere but it's hazy. ;) The next day I rested. And drank lots of water. ;)



It was such a beautiful day! I'm still flying high!



And now... some pictures (more will come after we get the disposable cameras developed):



Pictures (EDIT: You have to log-in to Flickr to see them because apparently I am a "loose cannon", according to them.) ;)



and VeeDub posted some, too:



VeeDub's Pictures



EDIT: Onyx posted even more pics.



Our Vows:



With silver ring,

In a circle of our friends...

To you I pledge my heart,

To you I pledge my soul,

To you I pledge my life,

For now, and for always,

I do.