arriving at the oakland airport EARLY Thursday morning I approached the security check point when some tool bag informed me that I HAVE to check one of my bags. Now, we have all seen Meet the Parents, and doggone it, I fuggin HATE checking my luggage. Nonetheless, it was too early to argue, so I did it and got back in line. here is where the real pace of my weekend started. my belt buckle set off the metal detector and I was asked to remove my belt. Now I was wearing my comfy LOOSE fitting shorts, the ones that require a belt just to stay on my waist and low and behold, no undies on Falcor this day in question. So I take off the belt and am holding up my shorts with one hand and go through and I dont set off the beeper thing so I am all good. So there I am trying to get my belt on and move all my bags over off the carousel thing so as to not back up any more people then need be, because there was well over 400 people in line and of course my kick ass luck settled right in and before you know it I am standing there, shorts around my ankles, with all my junk hanging there for all to see. it was a "shinning" moment to say the least. so onto the plane, cocktails and nap time later and we are in Kansas. I stroll over to the baggage thing watch all this luggage come out and guess who bag is not there? yeah you right. fuggin MINE. so now i am a little pissy and a lotta drunk so I make way over to the ladies who work lost luggage and proceed to raise hell for a few moments. it wasnt until the "bitter lesbian" comment came out that I retraced my words apologized and offered a 5 dollar donation to help expediate the process... for whatever reasons it worked, and my bag appeard magically in my hand. so into our car that was there to pick us up. quick stop at the denny's for some finger chilly and we arrived live and in charge at the waka waka site. set up camp, dove into the liquid diet and we were on our way, camera in hand. ALO's set that night was absolutly redunkulous. As I am sure we all know, Lebo is in some crazy new realm where it seems like he is negotiating with the devil himself to be the sickest geetar player around. there was reference to sickles, there was strong VIBE, there was a lotdog loose doing flips hittinh head on metal posts and explaining to security "don't worry... i do this all the time" classic. we rocked the backstage drinking free beer, monster energy drinks, water... you name it. hippy crack was dun with Umph's and laughter was a plenty. next thing you know, it is meltdown time and Umphreys is handing everyones ass to them for over four hours. are you kidding me. highlight for me was Panama. sooo SICKLE. so after all that was dun, it was left up to mr. Robbz, Falcor and the Man to take the VIP to the backstage to attempt to "borrow" a golf cart and find the free VIP breakfast. Robbz got scared and ran away... in the wrong direction, whereas Falcor and the Man discussed the importance of baby powder and the ills of the the festival chaff... I do believe it was around this time that Falcor dug deep... just like the deepest digger and came up with a slice of juicy fruit that appeared to have three drops of some sort of liquid, as there was no VIP breakfast, the two phreinds decided to split the piece of gum as they felt it could serve both as a meal and a sort of teeth cleansing... not so much. no keys to the golf cart and they started making way back to camp. it was at this very moment that a light light shot from the sky upon a vacated pizza vendor booth with almost two whole pizza sitting out for the VIP party. Our party was so VIP it was only us. so put that in your pipe and smoke it. fast forward a few hours, and the two are still plsying through. sleep is for amatuers. Cut to the inside of ALO's trailor and there we are, dressed to the T in flare and Falcor sporting the almost now infamous blue glasses. Daytime set consisted of free fat tire and dancing on the stage in front a 1000 people... maybe more? not sure. all I know is a new move was created on that stage, and damn if it didnt recieve a nice response. Over to Martin Sexton for some extreme "baby making music" also the place where Lebo's cousin was discovered and immeadietly titled the hottest woman at waka waka. picture gorgeous green eyes, long ass eyelashes and naughty pouting lips. yes. humdinger in deep. geeeeeeez. from there it gets a little fuzzy, although i do remember very much enjoying my double garlic and cheese grilled cheese. I swear to God, dollar stores need to change thier slogan to "what the fuck, its only a buck" walmart would be out of biznezz in no time. so by now feet are dragging, Moonshine Still is ragging, beer is still flowing, this liquid shit keeps happening and some girl molly keeps smacking my ass, which by the way, is not in a good place due to my festichaff. still following me. Bring in the main stage that night with the Cheese and about 8 GORGEOUS woman dancing around me and life was a pretty sweet fruit. not the strongest set, but hey, i had fun. a moment of akwardness when a random hippy chic waddled up to the front rail and started masterbating, but then again... there are no rules at waka waka just as there is no crying in baseball. tom hanks said that. it was after the cheese that i encountered my only emotional moment, after walking the campgrounds for about two hours, i started the fat kid weez and i am not going to lie, i think i cried a little bit. after not sleeping for over 48 hours and being REALLY sore and tired, all you want is your tent. at one moment, i contemplated sitting or lying on the grass, but damn them for making me so worried about the chiggers, so i continued to stand until finally biting the bullet, walking all the way back , finding K-Lot and grabbing her shoulders and murmering between little kid whins and a single tear "will you PLEASE take me bed" fast forward to day light and this is a new man. shower, baby wipes to the infected area and some food and he is back in the game... Falcor that is. Saturday gave me some Mofro,,alot of quality time with my guys from Georgia, a first timer set of Wilco and so much more that I dont even know where to start...and oh yes!!! the lake. ahhh the mistake by the malake. yes, i dont know if it is because of my newly found singleness and freedom or if it was just the appareel, but I am proud to say that Kansas provides some beautiful woman, and the kind that are not afraid to bear the upper reagion. yes, she pointed to her "boobies" New Monsoon brought some "el fuego" and we were all freinds. friends having a good time. its when the sun starts to go down though, that old saying of the freaks coming out at night. try this with Karl D and the tiny universe... oh wait!!!. I almost forgot about the smoking set from HOt Buttered Rum with Billy Nershi..... sooooo scickle. they packed this tent FULL and the energy exceeded anything I have ever seen from bluegrass... EVER... even YOnder, who has had some MAJOR energy have never gitten a response like this. soo much fun./ k . going back. Karl D. I slapped my hand and put myself on restriction for not remembering how he gets the ladies goin. this is also the origin of team blue...something the rest of you will see in full force at high sierra... just beware.. team blue takes thier shit seriously.. like REAL serious. So yes, Karl D, Wilco and the most smokin Cheese set I have ever seen. We raged and we raged hard. Lotdog baffled people in his fancy pants and stepped in at least 80 pairs of feet, and damnit if we dont love that about him. without a doubt one of the greatest people on this Earth, lotdog is a legend in the making. ask anyone who the deepest digger is and I believe that you will find they all say the same name. after all, this was Kansas, not Russia. So CHeese blows it up, my jaw is dancing six feet to the side of me, pretty girls everywhere, team blue rockin the sickles in a dance circle and before you know it, Moonshine Still is shredding the side tens stage. We show up and we dance hard. Or at least I did, dont really remember looking at anyone else. next thing you know. I am sporting the ever famous plate face and dancing on stage. a personnal best for me no questions about that one. FRom Moonshine Still to Shanti Groove and over to Mountain of Venus, and the sun is up yet once again and our crew is leaving in a little over an hour. I do believe it was at this point that I turned around and realized that there was no crew left. Just Falcor and his sickle. So I had that goin for me. a bowl legged walk back to camp, about an hour of shut eye and next thing yo uknow we are packed up and I am getting dropped off at artist camping where I retrieve ALO's bag, hijack a golf cart drive myself out to will call and set out to find the yeddi and his ggirl. this proved to be another highlight as we bonded over a nice breakfast of hippy crack and needle point. Next thing yo uknow we are at the IHOP and ending our extremelly successfull run of livin the dream. pictures are coming, and I am sure I will elaborate on more of this later, but this is it for now. hope yo uenjoyed my take on it, or at least my half assed take on it. wait till you here about what is gonna go down at high sierra...as far as I can tell, that fuggin VIBE crew is THE party.