I've never understood the significance of Valentines's Day past 3rd grade/year 8 or whatever age it is that those compulsory cute little cartoon valentines are handed out at school. Frankly some years ago my girlfriends/co-workers and I passed out those cute little valentines and candy. Our celebration wasn't for romantic love, it was done out of silliness and fun. I like to act like the valentines are fortune cookies and add the phrase "in bed" after the note to liven things up a bit.

My friend has called me out on my cynicism. Actually she calls me bitter, the thing is it's not that I'm bitter, I just don't believe in love more succintly romance the way I perceive others do. Romantic love has nothing to do with a particular day or God help me, lingerie! Perhaps I read too much Oscar Wilde, or metaphysical and romantic poetry in my youth. Anyway, I had the strange honor of speaking a friends wedding. She knew how I felt/feel about marriage and all and still wanted me to speak at it. My first thought was inspired by "Thanatopsis" by William Cullen Bryant. Basically a treatise on death. I think it is brilliant his poem as well as my idea to speak about it at a wedding. Unfortunately I don't think most people would appreciate the sentiment. I do view marriage as the death of each individual and a rebirth as one. Another option was a speech on the evolution of friendship and another idea was a really awful one liner, "Congratulations on your nuptials, BAAAAAAA"

It is my indirect sheep comment that garnered me the cynic title. I must add that it is possible that people really do marry because of . . .well whatever "reasons" people have for marrying. I just think that a lot of people marry due to age, social pressure, or maybe fear of growing old alone. One thing I know is that marriage is not for me at this time in my life.

I've seen love expressed negatively more than positively. Love as obsession, possesion, infatuation and that's just personally. My hope for myself is that my personal expression of love will transcend silly holidays or gifts of extrinsic value. If this makes me cynical than I will happily accept the label.