blog o' the idyllwild

help in finding my heart

ferocious-pixie — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 07:29:13 GMT

Baggage screener at the Seattle airport yesterday: ma'am, is this your bag? me: yes, one of them. screener: ma'am, do you have something in the shape of a heart in this bag? me: a heart? No. screener: are you certain, ma'am? We see a metal heart shape. me: nope, sorry. No heart. I'm heartless. screener: you don't mind if we go through this bag then? me: go ahead. If you find my heart, please let me know. I need all the help i can get. A few minutes later, the baggage screener pulled out of my suitcase a pair of jeans with a metal belt buckle in the shape of a big red heart. I had completely forgotten that I wore those jeans and buckle for the previous two days. When your heart's not tugging on you, it's sometimes easy to forget.

the slow ooze of renovations

ferocious-pixie — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 08:05:41 GMT

what's said about renovations is entirely true. The job takes longer than expected. The budget exponentially grows as new ideas or necessities open up. It's louder and messier than you expect it to be. this is the first renovation i've ever been involved in. I've had this house for three years and have done a handful of cosmetic repair and build jobs, but nothing that involved industry vacs and buzzsaws. Even growing up, i lived in a tiny apartment and my parents never had any real work done to our place. Watching the entire main level of my house devolve into chaos and clutter is freaking me out. I don't care so much about 'neat' but i am somewhat paralyzed by disorganization. that's all small stuff though since the two workmen have showed up three days in a row. Woo hoo! Even after we gave them a partial payment at the end of the first day. There was some mild concern that they'd take our $1,000 and not return, leaving us to deal with exposed walls, up-ended flooring and a toilet in our driveway. I've heard some scary stories about abandonment. over the past three days, the guys have pulled out the bathtub, sink unit, walls and floor of the bathroom. The room was really squishy. They've also pulled up and relaid the flooring for my kitchen and (soon to be!) breakfast room. Today they rebuilt and plastered the walls in anticipation of a repaint (not by them) and tomorrow they'll begin to refile the floor. I already bought the tiles from Home Depot, which turned out to be more expensive than anticipated -- of course -- because we needed special border tiles with a curved edge. Also had to call in a plumber unexpectedly to remove the old bathtub fixtures and seal up the wall piping. The slow ooze of renovations.

graffiti in Tel Aviv

ferocious-pixie — Sat, 15 Mar 2008 17:32:46 GMT

I love to photograph graffiti when i'm traveling. It's an anthropological view into a culture. Especially when i can read (or partially read) the scribbling, i am simply enthralled by what the words say and mean, and how coherent that message is. Mingle graffiti with my other favorite visual topic, old building textures, and i am ecstatic. Crumbling walls, the rust of alley windows, dilapidated wooden doors. while in Israel this month, I took photos of a Hebrew phrase that appeared repeatedly in Tel Aviv. Didn't see it often in Jerusalem, which is interesting since the phrase translates to 'nation of israel lives' and Jerusalem is considerably a more religious city.

what flavor deodorant do you eat?

ferocious-pixie — Sat, 09 Feb 2008 05:36:18 GMT

Have to laugh at the difference between boys and girls. The left-side photo shows two bathroom items that Jim packed for our 36 hour business trip to Las Vegas. The photo at right shows the toiletries I packed in three cases, and i was traveling super light. On that note... stupendous package design conned me into buying three deodorants before the Vegas trip. I needed one travel-size and one regular at-home size. But the Secret flavors, er, scents were too tempting. Vanilla Chai and Asian Pear, with sparkly stuff on the label. I was overwhelmed. The little Dove deodorant is Cool Cucumber With Mint Tea.

rumination on rheumatology

ferocious-pixie — Thu, 06 Dec 2007 02:50:24 GMT

a rheumatologist drew this diagram at our appt last week. I've noticed that all of the Kaiser doctors do this, draw out their explanations as diagrams. It's as if they are trying to give me a note to take home to mom. See what Debbie did in her doctor appointment? And she's doing well outside of school too! Two gold stars. Of course, the doc threw the paper in the trashcan before she left her office. I snatched it up. If i'm going to work for that 'A', i may as well have proof.

thanksgiving is for turkey, not turkey roll

ferocious-pixie — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 08:13:03 GMT

Went to LA-la for Thanksgiving last week, and I passed this little restaurant outside of Marina del Ray. Tickled my pickle since it's pretty scrappy looking and the Marina is fairly upscale. Plus everyone in California mistakenly calls these sandwiches 'subs' and it was nice to see SOMEONE get it right. The sign says 'Hoagies. 3,000 miles to Philadelphia; eat here!' Well, i didn't, but that's because i'll be in Philly next month visiting my family and OD'ing on deli. Plus i was too stuffed with Thanksgiving cheer.

75 years in SF, 1830's to 1900's

ferocious-pixie — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 17:29:08 GMT

I've recently been on a San Francisco history kick. If you're in this city, the book 'Seventy Five Years in San Francisco' is fascinating and fully available online. http://www.sfgenealogy.com/sf/history/hb75yidx.htm It's the autobiography of a man who lived in SF from the late 1830's to early 1900's. According to the preface, the author's life was intertwined with early N. California's prominent merchants and policy makers, and his book is acknowledged as the definitive source for its period. "William Heath Davis lived through California’s Pastoral Period, when the Missions were disintegrating and their lands were passing into the hands of the great rancheros; he welcomed the American Invasion which resulted in the Conquest under Sloat, Stockton and Frémont; he took a prominent part in the up-building of San Francisco after the Discovery of Gold; and more than all, his intimates were those foremost men, natives of California and Americans alike, whose lives of heroic pattern are woven into the historical background of the Golden State." I stumbled on this book while googling for info about the 1871 Blossom Rock explosion that's referred to in a fiction book I'm reading. Finally I will understand from where many of SF's street and building names originate. You can read other cool stuff about SF (like Mark Twain's account of his 1864 visit and a Forty-Niner's gold mining tale) from this Genealogy site: http://www.sfgenealogy.com/sf/history/sindex.htm

feldenkrais therapy

ferocious-pixie — Wed, 07 Nov 2007 17:44:53 GMT

I'm back in physical therapy. Really, Feldenkrais is a movement retraining therapy that falls under 'body work', but saying 'body worker' sounds as if i'm paying for sex. So... physical therapy. There's something that feels very selfish about therapy. Of course, the basic premise is that i am paying someone to spend an hour or longer just completely focusing on me. But moreso, in my regular interactions, i am always careful to ask people about themselves. The person says, 'hi how are you' and i say, 'great, having a good day, how about you?' But in physical therapy, when my therapist greets me, i am expected to say 'great' or 'not so good' and then launch into a detailed explanation all about myself, without ever asking how the therapist is doing. It really takes discipline for me to keep the topic self-focused. Suppose it's the same experience if you are going to a psychologist. I restarted Feldenkrais appointments about three weeks ago and practice never fails to amaze me. It's the only treatment that's ever made a substantial impact and the changes are subtle but deep. My chronic RSI had gone into a massive relapse and I went into the first appointment feeling as if my entire body was filled with embalming fluid. Through the second week, my upper torso felt like it was wrapped in duct tape (which, i can assure you, is much better than being embalmed). By the end of the next session, i was a beanbag whose sand could be shifted around. First week i saw my therapist, my stomach was quiet. That's a bad sign. Feldenkrais is practiced in silence and that's partly so the therapist can hear and feel the rhythms of the patient's body. When i was her regular patient a few years ago, i would get embarrassed that my stomach was rumbling. She'd say, 'Debbie, that's music to my ears'. It means the body is loosening up and reacting to treatment. So during yesterday's session, my tummy was complaining loudly, which means I am now much healthier than before. Feldenkrais links: http://www.feldenkraisinstitute.org/ http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feldenkrais_method

forced into a new hairstyle

ferocious-pixie — Fri, 21 Sep 2007 03:19:25 GMT

Time to get my hair chopped. Not TOO short I hope. But pulling out my fake hair, post-Burning Man, was a little tragic. At first i was pleased there weren't any large handfuls of real hair coming off. Then i felt the big clumps of 'dread'. When i washed my hair shortly afterwards, big knotty hairballs came loose and tried to lemming off my head. More shredded knots followed. Ack. So a few weeks later, I'm still picking hair dustballs off my pillow and my neck is feeling very chilly. In summary, my hair style didn't work out like thought it would. ;) Adorable on-playa... not so great afterwards.

i heart gefilte fish...

ferocious-pixie — Sun, 08 Apr 2007 21:44:53 GMT

...especially since every partner i've ever had is been skeeved by that food. The common cry is 'slimy fish brains'. That just makes my gefilte fish taste better 'cause i know it's all for me. And during passover the jars are only $3 instead of their normal ludicrous $8 price tag. By the way, it's actually just chopped fish mish mash... basically fish spam in jelly. i actually like passover food stuff. Since i eat it along with my regular fare rather than to the exclusion, the food doesn't feel limiting. Simple and good. How can you beat Savory Garlic matzah? It's not much different than the rice cakes that i usually eat. (ok, they're actually white cheddar cheese popcorn cakes) the campbells chicken noodle soup isn't kosher for passover. But it's yummy with kosher soup nuts and i've been feeling under the weather. The soup nuts are a strong childhood memory. My grams used to serve them at our holiday meal and she didn't mind how much i mashed them into her good tablecloth to make designs during the boring prayers. She was such a cool grandmom. blah blah blah... end-of-holiday ramblings.

gem treasure is really just blue

ferocious-pixie — Fri, 30 Mar 2007 06:07:28 GMT

after two years of owning a home, i am finally OWN-ing it. Jim and i are expanding our company into another level of the house and with expansion comes: Paint. Lots of bright colors. This was the first step, a redo of the nasty staircase leading up to my bedroom. Now i finally understand why homeowners stay home to work on the home. Walking up/down these stairs over the past few days has made me feel all sparkly and bright. On the palette for this weekend: gem treasure (that's aquamarine), rodeo red, and more of that gold stuff.

Myspace Impact site

ferocious-pixie — Wed, 21 Mar 2007 03:20:57 GMT

Has anyone read about Myspace's presidential site launch? (or micro site launch, whatever) http://impact.myspace.com/ It makes me happy and shudder at exactly the same vibration level. On one hand, it's terrific that the most under-represented voting segment, 18-24 yr olds, will be spoken to by a voice they may actually hear. On the other very large and heavy hand, Myspace is run by Fox News, essentially. So it's quite difficult to see how this will be a 'fair and balanced' coverage. If you decide to venture onto a presidential candidates' Myspace page, you are able to read stacks of fan posts that say 'rock on obama' and other pithiness. You can also, however, read in ' Barack Obama's Details' that his Body Type is Slim/Slender and his Orientation is Straight.

ferocious city, peaceful lion.

ferocious-pixie — Mon, 19 Feb 2007 09:51:33 GMT

In December, i took photos of the display windows along the exterior of the Macys department store on Market street in downtown Philadelphia. The cityscape was behind me. Its historic buildings and festive streets are reflected in this rotating nativity scene of a lion and lamb. Unintentionally depcits how i was feeling at the time, very inspired by the old, graceful beauty of my hometown.

work impediments

ferocious-pixie — Sat, 10 Feb 2007 04:50:00 GMT

some days it is really difficult to concentrate on work...! This happens every day around 3pm in front of my workstation, right after the kittens groom each other for about 10 minutes. The little orange one's head is all wet. ;-)

return of the digital niece

ferocious-pixie — Fri, 26 Jan 2007 04:43:47 GMT

I am so excited to have my Dell laptop returned! Our programmer borrowed it way back in early December while his pewter was being fixed. Feels like a favorite young niece coming back home after summer break, complete with a missing front tooth, which in this case is the broken number seven key. I love rubbing the exposed nub. But hey, that's an entirely different subject. still, my niece is changed in little ways, as if she learned some pre-teen secrets while at day camp. All of my internet bookmarks are wiped from browser updates--what up with that, Jared? Some functions that i didnt even realize existed are turned on, like 'Active Desktop'. And new mystery meat icons are displayed in the already-crowded Task Bar. Ah well.

comfort food for the cold & tired... do you have any?

ferocious-pixie — Thu, 18 Jan 2007 21:25:57 GMT

With everyone across the US seemingly fighting a cold, bug, flu, virus, or just the normal impulse to stay in bed when it's cold and you're tired, i've been thinking about comfort food. Earlier this week, I felt under the weather. Wound up buying Campbells Chicken Noodle Soup and Peppermint Farm goldfish crackers (cheddar cheese flavored, of course) and eating that exclusively for two days. I felt much better afterwards... no doubt related to my new temp diet! It's funny how i always gravitate towards that meal when I feel sick. Just wondering if anyone else a standard comfort food.

need to kick myself in the ass

ferocious-pixie — Wed, 17 Jan 2007 06:28:42 GMT

i haven't painted since way before the holidays; took this photo in mid-December. This painting is pretty big (at least, compared to my other work). It's about 5 feet tall, 4 feet wide. Maybe if i post it, i'll shame myself into working on it again. ;-) Darn studio is SO COLD though... I also haven't been on tribe or myspace in about that long. So: hellloooooo again.

peaceful dream last night

ferocious-pixie — Mon, 11 Dec 2006 07:07:26 GMT

i had a peaceful dream last night. My Grams and Gramps were in the hospital. They were weak and in hospital beds. I think that Grams had a breathing tube in her nose. I realize that doesn't SOUND very peaceful but they were both cleared headed and looked healthy. My two kittens wandered from bed to bed being friendly and my grandparents were smiling and petting them. Felt so good to see my grandparents together again, looking at each other with love, and to see them in such vivid detail at the age they are fixed in my memory. Gramps is still living and not in good shape so it made me happy to see him lucid and at his former weight. of course, I was stuck in an oft-occuring dream loop where i was trying to catch a taxi outside the hospital (it's always a large building structure) in order to get somewhere closeby and come back quickly, but the taxi keeps driving me in the wrong direction. Think i was putting together a suitcase of clothes from my grandparents' apartment since they weren't going to leave the hospital anytime soon. Oh well. I still woke up with a calm, still feeling. I'm sure this dream is brought on by the holly-daze and making plans to go back east for a family visit. Hope there are no premonitions involved.

time flies and platforms shift

ferocious-pixie — Thu, 02 Nov 2006 00:15:04 GMT

It's funny how time passes. Over a year ago, I changed all of my company's software product listings to show that we support 'Mac OS X/9'. The year before i had the listings at 'Mac OS 9/X'. Two years before that, OS 9 with an occasional mention of the new platform, OS X. Today i am frantically stripping out all OS 9 reference . A customer just called regarding support for that platform and i discovered that our website still has minor mentions of OS 9 support. Question 1: How did he find those references? 2: Why the f--- is he using OS 9...?

the other FP: my official new sidekick

ferocious-pixie — Wed, 04 Oct 2006 23:43:23 GMT

the Fierce Peanut! Yesterday was the first time she stayed still enough for a non-blurry photo. Four months old. As soon as I saw her at the SPCA on Sunday, i knew she fit the name. One of her lil' eyes is shut because she's under treatment for pink eye.

surefire way to tell you're a homeowner (or a freaky neat freak)

ferocious-pixie — Wed, 27 Sep 2006 07:04:43 GMT

one of my recent purchases is the Sonic Scrubber. http://www.sonicscrubber.com/ Damn thing is hypnotic to watch. It's like using an electric toothbrush except the SS cleans grout between bathroom tiles. Found it at the supermarket for $10 and now I can't stop eyeing new areas to clean. Which is FULLY unlike me.

movie call out to all my cute jewish gals

ferocious-pixie — Thu, 21 Sep 2006 09:13:21 GMT

Cant believe i'm still awake. Just finished watching a movie called Can We Eat Yet. Elevator summary: the overbearing patriarch of a squabbling family accidentally takes E during a Passover seder. Which is a plotline that i just couldnt pass up even though Six Feet Under did something similar. A 'cast of kooky characters' are introduced in the first 10 minutes and I fully thought the movie would be a one-note joke about being Jewish, I was just renting to support the cause, and I'd be asleep before scene 4. But the movie unfolded into a terrific story of drama and comedy with a backdrop of Judaism that flavored the plot but didnt oversaturate. Some silly drug imagery but that's my only complaint. The story ends with a character singing a short Hebrew song that i learned as a kid, loved, and haven't heard in years. Made me teary - I'm such a sap sometimes - but i also choke up every damn time at the end of A League of Their Own.

goodbye Amsterdam canals, hello SF hills

ferocious-pixie — Wed, 13 Sep 2006 02:57:50 GMT

waiting for sunrise during my final hours away from SF. I've traveled so much since the beginning of August that earlier this week, i was drinking with a trade show friend and mentioned seeing him most recently at a conference in Boston about three or four months ago. He looked at me and said, Debbie, that was less than six weeks ago. Oh boy. having said that, all of this travel has been an amazing growing experience for me because it's been mostly by myself. No boyfriend/biz partner to take on tasks that i normally don't pay attention to. Not always fun, sometimes Really Fun, but always good problem solving. A few days ago, I even stomped back via train and tram to the Amsterdam airport to demand the 40 euros that had supposedly been put on my European cell phone but never showed up.

stop squeaking... I'm trying to move shite

ferocious-pixie — Tue, 22 Aug 2006 05:05:04 GMT

it must be time for travels and packing because I've been dreaming about trying to organize and move things. Last night, i dreamt of placing objects into small, uniformly sized boxes, then shuffling around those filled boxes to put them in order. The boxes kept tumbling off the table i stood at so of course my attempts failed miserably. The night before i dreamt I was trying to transfer a bank account, then physically push some furniture down a long road. Of course i couldn't get either task completed. Even my kitten is having stress dreams. She keeps waking me up with sqeaks every hour starting at 6am. Why is it that i go on vacation again? Will I get any sleep tonight...?

goodbye beautiful c.1871 bigass 700lb piano

ferocious-pixie — Sun, 20 Aug 2006 18:07:12 GMT

the piano guys moved my big ol' Emerson Square Grand girl outta here today. At 8:30am on a Sunday. That's earlier than i get up on workdays. I was pretty nervous because i found out that moving companies dont have insurance for damaging my house. Just for damaging my piano. I am donating the piano (which was donated to me) so I theoretically didn't care if she arrived in ten splintered pieces, as long as my hardwood floors weren't scratched in the process. And I asked the office manager to send four guys but only three showed up. Still, it took them less than an hour to get her out of here. I watched their process as unobtrusively as possible while making it obvious that i was watching. Don't fuck up my hardwood floors! They didn't. They also didn't come back upstairs to say Goodbye We Finished. Just hauled the piano out the front door, left the door half open, and drove away. Whatevere. I had expected a three hour ordeal so the whole arrangement worked out, except for the kitten, who was locked in my bedroom squeaking unhappily. Such a relief to have more space in my house.