well, i am here
i have learned lessons,
like, speaking my truth does not mean throwing it up all over other people.

but i am having a very teary time, just choosing to ask for water,
or saying to employers, that i cannot change shift when they ask without notice

but the hardest this week was speaking my experience with the 8th step
in a meeting tonight/
the other old timers turned away, literally.
but i am carrying a message of hope that i was not ready to open up about abuse or... read more

well 3 days and 2 hours.

Psychic Seld Defense by Dion Fortune
suggests to not inform many of where i go.

but thank you all for your input.
it has really helped.
i hope i find peace.

still barly packed. can't say bye to 9 years of accumulating who i am
but it is only stuff.
who i am , is inside... i hope.

i rather take precious things than cloths, but that seems so goofy.
but i will accept me as i am
since that is my job.

reading The Secret of The Shadow by Deb Ford

j... read more

So, can any one suggest where to go for releif of body pain weakness and imunity issues;
from lupus, fibro, and celiac?

that is my spouses new story about taking a break.

but how soon will i be well enough to work?
i have pals in LA, Utah, and Florida
my sons has pals in Georgia.

those are warmer that Chicago, but is NJ or North west coast good for what ails ya?
I have buddies there too, but i have concern for teh weather.

I just got my last vitamin B shot here... and i guess ... read more

i may not have the smarts or money for high learning,
but as i study QBL my lips tingle.
and I may never be functional physically,
but i know i was made for something,
i helped a guy sew, maybe there is a place for me there.
i will keep looking for my place,
my space in the sky.

Thank you to all the leaves that have passed thru my life.
from kind help to writers, and singers.
all inspiring me to hope.
hope for peace, with embracing what is truely me.
we all have a spirit, a spark... read more

well, i ask, what is my purpose?
I fear i am not good enough to be the peaceful person amid nay sayers.
I see how it can be done, often.
over and over gain, i fall short of being the light in a given situation.
"God don't make junk". written on a page i was given early in this process.
so, there must be a reason i was created.
there must be many kids out there who watched tv, to see what good behavior looke dlike.
I did see loving people kind and thoughtful on tv.
now, years later, i... read more

Does any one remember when he is holding something dangerous...
and it occurs to him that maybe he should have let go?
But it was too late, by the time he gets it,
And it blows up in his hand?

Well, in my dreams last night i woke up this morning,
trying to hold on to them, as I was instructed.
To meditate on them, for the point, the lesson.

so, I live my life seeking freedom.
freedom from... what?
not pain, per say, but discomfort.
I find it in some forms of service.
But have ... read more

vegas or bust oct 6th

DR. BARON GUDNI GUDNASON VON THORODDSEN (Ph.D.) is a spiritual alchemist and teacher. He began his quest for deeper knowledge as a young man and at an early age was initiated into the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn in England. He continued his study of the Hermetic teachings at a secret school in Salzburg, Austria, that taught alchemy in the old way; a Christian Kabbalah school in Bern, Switzerland; a Kabbalistic alchemy school in Madrid, Spain; an astrology school... read more

LOVED ONES WANT TO CHANGE ME TO MAKE THEMSELVES LOOK BETTER
Others Judge Me.

Its as if we are all captains of our own ships. What would they do in a storm?
Do they They sustain direction through the storm, until it passes?
And with each gust of wind or wave that crashes on the side, they must adjust to the new settings of teh compass.

I am just trying to not veer off too greatly, stay low key,
and re adjust the my rudder after each toss of the environment.
But is it just the natura... read more

I think so you may vote for Netzach?

youtube.com/watch

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High time we made a stand and shook up the views of the common man
And the lovetrain rides from coast to co... read more

You vote

youtube.com/watch

youtube.com/watch

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Shout

Chorus
Shout
Shout
Let it aloud
These are the things I can do without
Come on
Im talking to you
Come on
(repeat)

In violent time... read more

(I've Been) Searchin' So Long - James Pankow

As my life goes on I believe
Somehow something's changed
Something deep inside
Ooh a part of me

There's a strange new light in my eyes
Things I've never known
Changin' my life
Changin' me

I've been searchin'
So long
To find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Ow oh

Now I see myself as I am
Feeling very free
Life is everything
Ooh it's meant to be
When my tears have come to an end
I will understand
What I left behind... read more

www.youtube.com/watch

Souma yergon, sou nou yergon, we are shakin the tree
Souma yergon, sou nou yergon, we are shakin the tree

Waiting your time, dreaming of a better life
Waiting your time, youre more than just a wife
You dont want to do what your mother has done
She has done
This is your life, this new life has begun
Its your day - a womans day
Its your day - a womans day

Turning the tide, you are on the incoming wave
Turning the tide, you know you are... read more

As a child, I understood others pain, and hurt for them.
I saw only their lower need as they expressed to me with or without words.

Then, something happened. I changed.
I decided to not trust, not give.
Be sure I got. It never worked.
I ran from one construct to another.

Still running I hid in 12 steps.
Still not risking.

Then I met a man and then a lady.
They eminated Love.
I tried to jusmp onto their construct.
But they were loving and gentle.
There was no construct.
We... read more

In October Hackenberg had delivered honeybees to a Florida farm to pollinate crops. The bees typically return to their boxed hives when their work is done. But this time was different.

"I came to pick up 400 bee colonies and the bees had just flat-out disappeared," Hackenberg said. "There were no dead bees, no bees on the ground, just empty boxes."

"In almost 50 years as a beekeeper, I've never seen anything like it."

CCD has spread throughout 24 states and ruined hundreds of thou... read more

Objective Hoping to secure a part-time position involving: data/information processing, or general office clerical.
Summary of qualifications Twenty years information management and office support.
Four years with IBM mainframe using accounting
Three years computerized accounting systems A/R posting.
Work experience
2007 2 weeks at Florida florist for Easter rush for Rick and Phil at Redpelican.com

2006 to present CMCI dba Jackson Hewitt, Ebay estate collections, general office, assi... read more

in electronics, that is a by product of motion.
so i rather say i am in motion
and in wat direction
who knows.
i only hope
and have faith
and do all by love.
but who's love
Love of wat?
Love of who?
these I ask myself, Who am I
i sthere a place for me?
a place of joy?

i have secured exactly what i asked to mainfest.. i think not a penny more..

watch what you pray for... i hope i am fed

well i added ebay buy now to manifest food money.

thank you all for your spritual being here and now

annieonaaww

that is wat the theater marque had
but i guess we all r

sooo
my battle is to destroy reality
i am not anxious about florida

200 away and yet.
not bought pills and food and room
ebay annieonaaww

but
i love these higher altitudes
how do we speak withou space?
can you do it?

i know i may make no sense
but some one hears and knows wat i mean

joy
pure joy
i guess i could stay here for a while

I see the possibility that I will be in Florida
In front of the Teacher.

And I love that I can sell anything on Ebay.

I dread giving up my artwork
The peices that got me accepted into the Art Instute of Chicago,
so many years ago.

So, here we are. All on a journey.
did we know it was all the same journey?
Hard to tell.
But its not hell/

I thought I was clear, without the wheat,
and ran my life to be complete.
forgetting to watch out.
now i am stuck in the mud, with a body that failed.

but i have a spirit that will not quit.
I should have been lost,
but i was not.

I man picked me up and lite my fire.
a pale fire
but it kept lit.

now i see the ends in site.
i can be whole
i can be right

my b... read more