I made it thru a bad flu.
but not tested for n1h1

just lots of pills, prayers and rest.

I am always a little less physically after each winter.
But Dave came and poured Heavens' Love over me.
Thank you , Angels

I even had help designing my own logo

I am ok with no Valentine things. well, a dentist reminder. so i smell good

and my son called. so i know he is a good boy. i will be ok

and i saw that all my secret interests have found each other.

No more secrets. Kabbalah music and What The Bleep.

I am trying to get to the Conscious Life Expo in LA

i am finally starting to see hope

thank you all

Wow, i made it through this year.

you al have helped soooo much.
Thank you.

I just wanted to say an observation:

I was told by many that i am fragile,
and now seeing that my heart was very open,
maybe for the first time.

i want to say that we are all fragile.
even when our hearts are not open.

maybe that is the most fragile,
as the reason they had closed

I embrace the lesson,
and hope to hold on to it,
when my heart tends to close.

May I always stay fragile
and ... read more

i thought i had the perfect idea to make money.
And just saw it on an old video.
Til Tuesday - Voices Carry
www.youtube.com/watch
1985
i cannot have peirced ears.
And I want to create a line of over ear hoops

"those who beleive are always rewarded with the truth"
'Twice upon a Christmas'
the Family channel 64

i printed and reread all my blogs and the loving supportive comments

now i really feel sad that this picture was emailed me.
and i am tempted to feel bad when i see this orb.

Can any one say what / who that orb may be.

i am working on developing my beliefs.
and so, i have found a venue in utube

so if you know me or how to find me,
please enjoy what i enjoy

Where the river foams and surges to the sea,
Silver figures rise to find me,
Wise and as daring,
Following the heart's cry.
I am that deep pool,
I am that dark spring,
Warm with a mystery,
I may reveal to you,
In Time,
(Time holds the heart's key)
Key to everything is Love,
(Love makes the heart flower)
Flowers into a deep desire,
(Passion in the heart's fire)
Passion and desire.

See the eagle rise above the open plain,
Golden in the morning air,
Weaving and soaring,
Wa... read more

When I'm alone I dream of the horizon and words fail me.
There is no light in a room where there is no sun
and there is no sun if you're not here with me, with me.
From every window unfurls my heart the heart that you have won.
Into me you've poured the light,
the light that you found by the side of the road.

Time to say goodbye.
Places that I've never seen or experienced with you.
Now I shall, I'll sail with you upon ships across the seas,
seas that exist no more,
it's time to sa... read more

Artist: Neil Diamond
Album: His 12 Greatest Hits 1974
Song: Holly Holy

Holly holy eyes
Dream of only you
Where I am, what I am
What I believe in
Holly holy

Holly holy dream
Wanting only you
And she comes
And I run just like the wind will
Holly holy

Sing a song
Sing a song of songs
Sing it out
Sing it strong

Call the sun in the dead of the night
And the suns gonna rise in the sky
Touch a man who cant walk upright
And the lame man, hes gonna fly
And I fly
And I fly... read more

As I was rinsing my dishes this morning, post yummy, healthy breakfast, I noticed my 4 orchid plants on the counter. Most days, I don't notice them. Some days I do. Today, I noticed them. I was very grateful that I did. For one, it means I'm in the moment. Also, it sent me this message... Out of the 4 orchid plants, only one has blooming flowers. They are absolutely beautiful with their stunning purple color. The other 3 plants only have leaves remaining. They are strong, green, and vibrant b... read more

100 FREE Tickets Available!

Thanks to extraordinary private sponsorships,
we are thrilled to be able
to offer FREE tickets to our upcoming
Shamballah Fusion Event to
the first 100 people who call us at:

The White Lotus!
323-665-7322



Dragon



This drug and alcohol free event is a celebration
of community, joy and consciousness!

Join us for an evening of music, face painting,
dancing and special performances and
taste the delicious flavors of fusion with sp... read more

It is hitting me, what this trip means.
What it could mean.
And what this does not mean, for sure.

10 The only offer i have is from the angel of my life in Utah.
She has always been there for me.
Each time I have run from a man.

9 Everything i touch to pack or toss, I feel sad.
I get confused and can’t decide,
what to let go of.

8 I have to put the ducks in order.
Applying for jobs, selling car.
Washing clothes.

7 Fear, sadness, lose, disappointment.
Lettin’ go.

6 My... read more

my sponsor always tells a story about bottles of booze in a grocery store

i see that all the things that i would trip on are like each bottle

even when i cry...
just cry... hear all the sadness that is behind the tears

but don't trip on them
i won't believe them.

i can no longer let myself be vicimized by others reality.
even when my own reality sets me up to

it is more peaceful inside so far...

i wonder what the next step holds

The White Lotus is Hosting:
Shamballah1
Our Shamballah Fusion Event is coming together in an amazing way. If you haven't heard about it yet, Gudni Gudnason, Head of the North American Mystery School is coming to launch the energy of Shamballah in L.A. This is the energy of the new consciousness that is emerging, creating a shift within our society. This is the event that will bring that change to L.A.!

While this is not a Mystery School event, we are asking all Adepts to participate... read more

after facing my own denial...
and walking my own firewlk
i am sfaely here,
Simi Valley

staring my new life.
with a job, and my Truth.

Thank you all who have helped me.

Namaste

9 am Th 19 Jun 08
Soooo, teary.
Woke in pain after evening of fighting hopelessness.
D laughed.
The mission people heckled me.
The eskimo at the VA saved me.
Thank you, Heaven.

It is like a maze game.
I do not know the Lords' next step.

Best Smile!
I woke from prayers to see R's face
through the bunk bed bars
to say i have a
a 3 day break
and to
journal tohughts

I was so sure i was without a direction
and the Lord led me as a baby,
thru the dark.
Each step as blind ... read more

well, i am here
i have learned lessons,
like, speaking my truth does not mean throwing it up all over other people.

but i am having a very teary time, just choosing to ask for water,
or saying to employers, that i cannot change shift when they ask without notice

but the hardest this week was speaking my experience with the 8th step
in a meeting tonight/
the other old timers turned away, literally.
but i am carrying a message of hope that i was not ready to open up about abuse or... read more

well 3 days and 2 hours.

Psychic Seld Defense by Dion Fortune
suggests to not inform many of where i go.

but thank you all for your input.
it has really helped.
i hope i find peace.

still barly packed. can't say bye to 9 years of accumulating who i am
but it is only stuff.
who i am , is inside... i hope.

i rather take precious things than cloths, but that seems so goofy.
but i will accept me as i am
since that is my job.

reading The Secret of The Shadow by Deb Ford

j... read more

So, can any one suggest where to go for releif of body pain weakness and imunity issues;
from lupus, fibro, and celiac?

that is my spouses new story about taking a break.

but how soon will i be well enough to work?
i have pals in LA, Utah, and Florida
my sons has pals in Georgia.

those are warmer that Chicago, but is NJ or North west coast good for what ails ya?
I have buddies there too, but i have concern for teh weather.

I just got my last vitamin B shot here... and i guess ... read more

i may not have the smarts or money for high learning,
but as i study QBL my lips tingle.
and I may never be functional physically,
but i know i was made for something,
i helped a guy sew, maybe there is a place for me there.
i will keep looking for my place,
my space in the sky.

Thank you to all the leaves that have passed thru my life.
from kind help to writers, and singers.
all inspiring me to hope.
hope for peace, with embracing what is truely me.
we all have a spirit, a spark... read more

well, i ask, what is my purpose?
I fear i am not good enough to be the peaceful person amid nay sayers.
I see how it can be done, often.
over and over gain, i fall short of being the light in a given situation.
"God don't make junk". written on a page i was given early in this process.
so, there must be a reason i was created.
there must be many kids out there who watched tv, to see what good behavior looke dlike.
I did see loving people kind and thoughtful on tv.
now, years later, i... read more

Does any one remember when he is holding something dangerous...
and it occurs to him that maybe he should have let go?
But it was too late, by the time he gets it,
And it blows up in his hand?

Well, in my dreams last night i woke up this morning,
trying to hold on to them, as I was instructed.
To meditate on them, for the point, the lesson.

so, I live my life seeking freedom.
freedom from... what?
not pain, per say, but discomfort.
I find it in some forms of service.
But have ... read more