Last night Jen and I watched our favorite show, Boston Legal. For those who don't know the show it is a show about a bunch of quirky and unique lawyers at a firm that handles many types of cases. As a show it tackles many issues and does so straight forward, without apology and (this is my favorite thing) it isn't a political one sided show. Usually there are 3 to 4 cases going on in one episode and hands down my favorite character is Alan Shore (James Spader). If you dont' watch it do so one time, you will thank me.

Last night one of the cases involved Shirley Schmidt (Candice Bergen). Here is from the web site and the episode recap:

"After her father -- who is in the late stages of a debilitating fight with Alzheimer's -- injures himself and lands in the hospital, Shirley Schmidt wants to end his suffering and asks Alan Shore to argue in court on her behalf."

The way she wants to end it is to have him hooked up to a morphine drip. The shows talks about how the "morphine drip" is a way used (quietly) to end a suffering persons life or human euthinasia(sp?). Well yesterday I talked with my Mom again and she told me that they are starting my Father on Morphine due to the pain. My mother (tho acting strong) is torn up, I can hear it in her voice. She is glad I am coming and says to be emotionally ready for it.

In my mind I know what is happening but in my heart I am so at a loss. I will be going with my Mom to look at burial plans for both her and my Father and also ( I found this out a long time ago) they have made me the executor to their estate. I was so touched that they trust me so much when they told me but now it is starting to sink in.

As in the show Shirley talks about her father and how he was a man larger then life, strong and someone you took for granted will always be there. For those who know my family that is my Father.

Amazing how TV (at it's best) can touch real life and help us. For me it brought tears to my eyes and also helped me to accept what is inevitable. Jen asked me if I thought this might be coming. I told her that it IS coming.

My family comes from Yugoslavia and they came to make a better life for themselves and their family. It is your typical "American Dream" story and I lived it. Come from a foreign land with $20 and the clothes in a small suit case and to build a business and be his own boss and to a very successful degree. HE has given all of us a good life with no compromise and no apology. He fought for it hard and he was a champion in that respect. Respect doesn't even begin to say what I think of this man. Integrity abounds in him.

Now my Dad isn't a man of many words. HE has only said "I love you" to me once in my life but ya know what...... he didn't even have to say it that one time because day after day he showed us how much he loved and cared for us. A stubborn man and sometimes a man of short temper but THE man I want to be when I grow up. I have a long way to go to match all that he is but what a role model I have had.

All this to say, Dad I love you more then anything in this life can show and I will never be able to express how you made me and shaped me. For 20 years we worked side by side and you drove me hard and taught me more in your silence then anyone did with their opinions, words
or advice. You will live on much longer then your body allows you to and I will never, ever forget what you mean to me....Father, mentor, friend. I am one lucky son of a bitch to have been born to you.