Do you like pie, boy?

Album of Me

frankenspock — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 06:14:14 GMT

Hey look, I can create moody, gothy music, too, or at least the album cover. Thanks to Shannon for pointing out this fun little game, which I found so clever that it caused me to break my tribe blogging embargo. Instructions for doing your own album are here: http://people.tribe.net/eoth-born-of-the-one-eyed-jackal/blog?topicid=bccac35b-914b-48cf-91ac-1ac90fedd491

Obamaman to the rescue...

frankenspock — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 04:35:25 GMT

creative, hilarity ensues

frankenspock — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 04:13:05 GMT

I am much agreeing! http://kumhianao.com/quirky-news/hilarity-ensue/creative-kfc-art/ Also, upside down dogs: http://upsidedowndogs.com/ Look!

$240 Worth of Puddin'....

frankenspock — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 09:34:22 GMT

We had the 240; we had to have the puddin'. Awww yeah. It's that time. You know it's that time. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3XhS80rwjIg

Giant Flying Dog Turd Causes Problems, Somewhat Predictably

frankenspock — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 01:15:48 GMT

I like that it happened almost two weeks ago, but details "emerged" only yesterday. Like people were afraid to talk about it, maybe. "There was this... it looked like... uh.... it smashed... um." http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2008/aug/12/3 'A giant inflatable dog turd created by the American artist Paul McCarthy was blown from its moorings at a Swiss museum, bringing down a power line and breaking a window before landing in the grounds of a children's home. The exhibit, entitled Complex Shit, is the size of a house. It has a safety system that is supposed to deflate it in bad weather, but it did not work on this occasion. Juri Steiner, the director of the Paul Klee centre, in Berne, told AFP that a sudden gust of wind carried it 200 metres before it fell to the ground, breaking a window of the children's home. The accident happened on July 31, but the details only emerged yesterday.'

Return of Write Your Own Caption

frankenspock — Sat, 26 Jul 2008 01:27:20 GMT

This was Defamer's entry: A Wookie from El Monte attending his first Comic Con in San Diego got separated from his group of friends after getting off the trolley. In a muffled voice, The Wookie said, "I stopped to tie my shoes for a second and, when I got up, I started talking to my friend Paul. He's dressed like Han Solo. But after I started talking to Han, I realized that wasn't Paul, but it was someone else altogether. Then I went to talk to my other friend, John, he's dressed like the Joker and, well, I think you can see where I'm going with this, right?" The Wookie thought about going into the convention center and attempt to find his friends, but he wouldn't know the first place to look. The El Monte native added, "I think I might just go back to the motel, but I don't know if a Wookie would give up so quickly." This is mine: Dr. Fiasco, casual Friday only happens on FRIDAYS!

ok I give

frankenspock — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 22:04:59 GMT

People sometimes send me links to stories and say "man this makes me feel old," and you look at it and it's something like one of the Brady kids had a hip replacement or something and usually I think, no, that doesn't make me feel old. People fall down all the time and break their hips and they don't even have to be Bradys to do it. Also I can barely even remember the '70s and I'm not entirely positive I didn't make it all up inside my own head. Brady problems don't make me feel old. This makes me feel old. Baby From Nirvana Album Prepares to Graduate High School http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=92833535 Ugh.

tribe was down...

frankenspock — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 00:29:24 GMT

...so I couldn't get upset about the fact that all of you have apparently chosen to hide this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JvNLlwkwP64 from me. Sure. You thought I couldn't hold it my brain, that my skull would split open like a rotten cantaloupe, and the contents would spill out all over the floor if I found out about Italian Spiderman. And Robyn would be sad. I understand. I would be very sad, too. Because my head would be all spilt all over the carpet. But I can hold this. I can hold this and Japanese game shows and Filipino "Thriller" prisoners and "Halo Kid" and Dramatical Hamster and even that Verne Troyer sex tape where he french kisses his girlfriend. All and more. You'll see. I'll show you. I'll show you all.

George Carlin, 1937-2008

frankenspock — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 05:35:00 GMT

"Take a fucking chance! Put a little fun in your life! ... most Americans are soft and frightened and unimaginative and they don't realize there's such a thing as dangerous fun, and they certainly don't recognize a good show when they see one." - George Carlin, 1999 Shit piss fuck cunt cocksucker motherfucker tits! godspeed, george...

Godzilla vs. Mayor McCheese

frankenspock — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 17:59:30 GMT

Interesting bit in this story http://www.nytimes.com/2008/06/13/world/asia/13fat.html?no_interstitial about how the Japanese are turning up the fight against obesity in their country (even though hardly anyone there is overweight, and the cutoffs to be officially considered a fatty by the government--33.5-inch waist for men, 35.4 for women--are ridiculously low). But enough about the actual point of the article, I just liked this part: 'Still, at a city gym in Amagasaki recently, dozens of residents — few of whom appeared overweight — danced to the city’s anti-metabo song, which warned against trouser buttons popping and flying away, “pyun-pyun-pyun!” “Goodbye, metabolic. Let’s get our checkups together. Go! Go! Go! Goodbye, metabolic. Don’t wait till you get sick. No! No! No!”'

This probably means Jarvis Cocker was a redshirt

frankenspock — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 18:46:33 GMT

I know mashups are so 2006 and whatnot, but this one is really brilliant, and answers a lot of questions I've always had about Star Trek and Star Trek universe. I didn't know Spock was such a spoiled little bitch, for one thing. Also, they smoked a lot of dope back then, didn't they? Star Trek: The Animated Series/William Shatner doing "Common People" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KXWEM4gZhg4&e

Your Mom Slept With Wilt Chamberlain

frankenspock — Sat, 17 May 2008 00:07:44 GMT

Admit it. You know it's probably true. http://theworldofisaac.blogspot.com/2008/05/odds-wilt-slept-with-your-mom_15.html In other news I think my computer is melting...

Photobombing for fun and profit

frankenspock — Wed, 07 May 2008 17:47:42 GMT

It's the new dance sensation that's sweeping the nation! "Photobombers = people who hilariously ruin your nice little picture." http://listoftheday.blogspot.com/2008/04/photobombers-of-day.html I smell a mid-life career change...

Hey CTP, I didn't die...

frankenspock — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 00:39:55 GMT

That was pretty crazy. Lots of yelling and chanting and flags. Flags! Flags everywhere. Big ones, little ones, Chinese ones, Tibetan ones. The pro-Chinese crowd was smaller than the pro-Tibet crowd, but more organized, so it seemed like they were bigger. There were a few socialist agitators present, of course, with signs that essentially said stuff like "Let China Be China." The pro-Tibet people were incredibly diverse. A lot of Chinese-Americans among them, a lot of whitey, a lot of younger people, black kids from inner city schools, emo kids from suburban malls, a group from UC Davis, all shapes and sizes. Cops were well behaved, showed off their strength pretty clearly, but let things percolate from a distance, mostly. It was a nice show of force without showing force. SFPD probably has more experience at this sort of thing than any other police department in the country. Never did see the torch. Last I heard it was headed for Van Ness, but that seemed like an awfully long walk, and I had already shot more than 300 pictures. I grabbed the subway home, which was filled with businessmen complaining about "people protesting or something." I guess the crowds made it hard to get in and out of Starbucks efficiently. Fukkers. They had fancy watches. I felt like biting their necks. Just a little. Whoops. Flickr: http://www.flickr.com/photos/frankenspock/sets/72157604464856731/

I Have No Joke, I Just Like To Say "Brazilian All-Dwarf Soccer Team"

frankenspock — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 23:48:24 GMT

'Managed by professional coach Carlos Lucena, the Giants were put together in an effort to raise the profile of dwarves in Brazilian society and challenge "sizeist" attitudes.' http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2008/04/08/ndwarves108.xml Dr. Fiasco will now explain the premise.

Do Not Come At Donald Clouston With Your Candy-Ass Knife

frankenspock — Mon, 31 Mar 2008 22:25:48 GMT

He will kick you in the balls, and then he will kick you in the teeth, and then he will go home and warm up a delicious bowl of the Campbell's Condensed Bean With Bacon Soup that you tried to rob him of. Werd. http://cbs5.com/local/Marine.attempted.robbery.2.686630.html

This Post Has Only One Word And That Word Is...

frankenspock — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 08:49:24 GMT

FAIL.

happy birthday, behbeh

frankenspock — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 01:25:32 GMT

I love my girl more than I love Spock, and that's a lot. Can I get a witness? Kerpow!

all you heard was "hush!"

frankenspock — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 09:27:50 GMT

Garfield Without Garfield: "Who would have guessed that when you remove Garfield from the Garfield comic strips, the result is an even better comic about schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, and the empty desperation of modern life?" "Friends, meet Jon Arbuckle. Let’s laugh and learn with him on a journey deep into the tortured mind of an isolated young everyman as he fights a losing battle against lonliness and methamphetamine addiction in a quiet American suburb." http://garfieldminusgarfield.tumblr.com/

When A Hyena Eats A Dead Giraffe, It Is Hilarious

frankenspock — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 03:28:37 GMT

(via KSK: http://www.kissmesuzy.blogspot.com/ ) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0qeN9IqmZpM&e (NSFAnything) You know, I was once walking around the playa very early in the morning with Larry Harvey. He had a Camel dangling from his lips, holding a bottle of Captain Morgan's rum. He thought that was hysterically amusing. "Walk the plank, walk the plank!" he'd cackle. "Plank walk with me! Hurr hurrr!" I sighed deeply, remembering that time in Spain when I had seen this man fight a bull. Bulls, several of them. Bare-handed he fought them. That man was gone. He pointed at the horizon as the tiniest sliver of the sun started to emerge over the peaks of the Granite Range. He was still quivering with laughter from his Capt. Morgan joke, a thin line of drool slinking down his chin like a burglar leaving the scene. "One day," he said. "One day there will be a thing out there..." What kind of thing, I asked. "A TV...a movie, ah, fuck, I don't, I don't know what to call... like a thing on a screen that you click the mouse and boom, you know, magic." A video? A video on a computer? "YES! Goddamnit, yes! That's exactly it!" He unzipped his fly and urinated on the pristine playa. I waited. "You will see a video," he finally continued, zipping up his pants. "And on that video you will see a hyena, and that hyena will be eating a dead giraffe. From the inside out. And it will be _fucking_ hilarious." I blinked. "Walk the plank! Walk the plank! Har hardy har harrrrrrr!" That was the last time I ever saw Larry Harvey before he was tragically eaten by a hyena.

I think I must be the strongest dwarf in the world!

frankenspock — Wed, 13 Feb 2008 03:03:20 GMT

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/worldnews.html?in_article_id=513820&in_page_id=1811 I have no joke. There is no joke. Consult your local tavern or clergyman for joke or joke-like substance.

Yahoo! News is on top of it...

frankenspock — Tue, 12 Feb 2008 20:06:06 GMT

And I'm supposed to be rooting against Microsoft, right? I mean, you couldn't just let people READ this story. That wouldn't have been ironic enough.

FOUND

frankenspock — Sat, 09 Feb 2008 10:24:38 GMT

...on Flickr's "other peeps pictures and shitnot" photostream. Look at that party. I mean, really LOOK AT THAT PARTY. This is my happening and it freaks me out. THEREFORE... There will be a "caption this photo contest." Winner gets one pair of Dr. Fiasco Pants. Not necessarily worn by Dr. Fiasco. Not guaranteed to be pants. Offer void in Texas and Canada. GO.

"The Man Who Wanted to Name His Bar 'Drunkenstein's'..."

frankenspock — Thu, 07 Feb 2008 17:47:14 GMT

http://www.faniq.com/blog/The-Man-Who-Wanted-to-Name-His-Bar-Drunkensteins-Nearly-Went-on-a-Super-Bowl-Rampage-Blog-6521 Guy rejected for liquor license by Tempe city council plots Super Bowl attack with AR-15 semi assault rifle. stupidly posts plans on blog, goes to jail, shows up on other blogs with bad hair idea, etc. Highlights: Havelock applied for a liquor license with the Tempe City Council, but his application was recommended for denial when it was found out that a blog by Havelock stated that the restaurant would be named "Drunkenstein's" and not "The Haunted Castle" which was stated in the application. ... ...in the blog he described the place as a restaurant, Halloween bar, Irish coffee house and music/arts venue that would include “ear-piercing death metal solos." ... Havelock wrote an eight-page manifesto detailing his reasons for planning an attack at the Super Bowl and mailed eight copies of the document from a post office in Glendale, according to a federal affidavit. He also had bought an AR-15 rifle from the Scottsdale Gun Club.

Weiner Poopie!

frankenspock — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 20:51:38 GMT

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uxkBYzkBnW8&feature=related This story involves Jesus, a woman with no sense of humor, and dog poop. Honestly, though, it could have been about inflation in Luxembourg and I still would have written about it, because how often do you think you're getting the chance to type the phrase "weiner poopie" in this lifetime? tags: jesus, poop, icky bait