What little I say.
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As is my custom, balance must be maintained. Yesterday I began the antibiotic drug treatment for a Lyme disease infection. This bacterial infection SUCKS. My heart goes out to anyone that has experienced this. Especially those that did not have easy, cheap, or quick access to health care. This gets bad quickly, and the sooner you start treating it the better. It is a short 14 day treatment process(for most), and just after two days I am feeling a little better.
Reminder – Fall WildFire tickets go on sale this weekend.
I am so grateful to Steph, for showing me what true compassion, forgiveness, perseverance, and love can be. These gifts you give so freely and never realize just how special you are to have them.
I am grateful to Tara, who has shown me that I can connect and love someone not only in a deep emotional way, but also in the way I think, communicate, and process the world around me. You have given me hope, by showing me what having all relationship aspects working together might be like.
Rachel, you have me deepest gratitude for your steadfast witnessing of my trials and tribulations. For your support and caring, even while you struggle with your own troubles. I measure my life my what opportunities I have helped to create for others. That can be a very hard path when it feels like there is always more to give but not much to take when needed. You remind me that some are by nature givers and some not. That giving is what matters not what people do with those gifts.
I am grateful tonight for all the things that have fallen on my shoulders over the past year. Because throughout, when no one was watching, I did not choose the easy path that compromised my values. I continued to do the same things, that try to build acceptance, caring, and giving communities that might positively affect so many more people that I will ever be able to meet. Thank you mom, you will never know how amazing this gift has been that you taught me.
And to all of the people, close friends, mere acquaintances, random strangers, thank you for asking how I am doing, mentioning that you care, saying that you value something that I do or have done. Through this hard time I have learned the value of these words and promise to say them as often as possible.
Today my grandfather died. And while he wasn't a part of my life for the past 10 or more years, his passing has been tough on my mother. This has also been a reminder to me of how short our time here is; how important the people we love and who love us are; and that I want great, stupid, crazy, loving stories told about me one day. The way I will judge my life, is by these.
Today my ex showed me how much she had grown and changed. How much she still cared for me even though she is very much in love with someone new. She told me that it was wrong what she had done, and honestly regreted her actions. She restored part of me today.
Today was an important day.
WildFire Organizers Chair / Web guy
With sincere love,
Three months ago, I was a week or so away from foreclosing on my 3 family house, no renters in site, no job prospects, and a ton of responsibilies/time commitments none of which would get me closer to the financial security I desperately needed. I now have all floors rented, a good job, and just as many if not more time commitments. Few knew the incredibly stressed state I was in. It is not my way to ask for help, especially when I don't believe most folks can help. It is also my belief that few folks ask how any of us are really doing, being caught up in our own lives. I fell in to this trap during the past 6 months and do not feel like I helped those around me as much as I could have. Stephanie however showed me a different path. Through out this very difficult time in my life, she has been here giving all that she could for me, and it has made all the difference. Her life has been independently incredibly stressful throughout this, but still she has always been here. Thank you my love. Several other people have reached out to me during this, Scott, Lucy, Steven, Joanna, Mike, Aaron, and a few others. Just sincerly asking my state, giving an honest hug or word of support. These things have made really big impacts on me at some key moments. Thank you all. None of us usually know what the impact of our words really are. Your's have been my life raft and brought me to a new adventurous shore. I will strive to continue to share what you have given me.
Ooooo.... lets burn this NOW...
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