If I said you had a beautiful body... would you hold it against me?

(echo...echo)

Dear tribe...

I miss you.

I miss your formats
I miss your users.

Sure.. there is FB, but it is a poor substitute for you.

kthanxbye

What happens in Vegas…

sometimes needs to end up on Tribe.

Especially when it was one of the most amazing trips in my life. I apologize, this is going to be VERY VERY long, because I am trying to not only remember every detail, but explain just how incredible it was. As for being so secretive about where I was, it goes back to the blog about not telling the world I was leaving my wife alone at home for the weekend.. although, it turns out that our daughter and grandbabies came up for a visit.. but still.
Now, many of you know of my tumultuous relationship with my stepson Christopher (let’s call him my SON for the purpose of this blog) because really.. 11 years.. the boy is my son.. sure I wasn’t there when he was born, and he didn’t come from me, but I have been there through so much of his life, including the birth of his son, that I believe I have earned the right to call him my son. His birthday was August 13th, and mine was the 11th, so I decided to get us BOTH a present. This involved us going to Vegas. More on the present later.
So, Friday, I work a half day, pick him up, and we are on the road at noon. 4 ½ hours of us talking.. just talking.. something we really haven’t had a chance to do in a very long time.. it was AWESOME. We get to Vegas and I watch his mind explode.. he had never been before. Seeing Vegas, for the first time through someone else’s eyes, is probably one of the most exciting experiences. We drove up and back and up and back the strip, before we even bother to check in. He just was taking it all in with his face plastered to the window, until he opened the window and did his best imitation of Zeus. We get to the Hotel… we stayed at the Planet Hollywood Towers. They gave me the best deal, were central on the strip.. why not. Walked in, and after seeing the guy at the front desk’s name tag.. I addressed him by name, was polite, was patient while he dealt with some drama, and informed him about why we were here.. he said to me: You know, we normally are supposed to charge for an upgrade, but would you mind if I moved you from the 8th floor up to a suite on the 35th floor? Now, who am I to argue with such a nice man? I thanked Greg, and the adventures continued. The suite was incredible.. (and apparently most of their rooms are suites like this, but who cared, we got an upgrade) there were 3 big flatscreens, (including one in the bathroom) that all had digital controls on them that controlled the room lights, temp, and blackout blinds. Reminded me of Ollie’s video. Needless to say, he was shocked over the awesomeness of the room. So, we freshen up and off we go.
What I neglected to mention, was that 2 days before we left, Christopher had lost his wallet (WITH HIS ID) we are pretty sure, his 2 year old son CODY decided to hide it, but it was nowhere to be found. Do you know all the things you CAN’T do in Vegas without an ID? On Thursday he went to DMV to get a replacement ID, but they won’t give you one right then and there, just a piece of paper saying it is ordered. So I printed out copies of everything we owned.. Birth Certificate, Social security card.. etc. Brought paystubs, bills, an old copy of his school ID on his learners permit from 6 years ago… and his expired passport.. from when he was 5 and his dad was in the military taking him back and forth to Japan. The picture in the passport was adorable… more on that later.
We went out.. and hit the town. Now.. I posted yesterday that the mantra for the trip was “I am not a pervert, I am a dirty old man” HOLY CRAP, I have never seen so many incredible hot “Girls” with dresses so short they had to hold them down with Velcro and Pubic Hair. I felt like a letch, we were checkin em out.. laughing.. crying.. drooling.. it was a riot.. being guys for the sake of bein guys. No, we were never rude, but we were kids in a candy store just looking. It was bonding that he and I had never had. Laughing more than anything over random “Guy” comments to each other.. “omg, maybe I am deaf, because when she walked by, I swore, I could read her lips” H knew I was in Vegas and bein a guy, and she has no problem with me looking at the menu, as long as I eat at home. It was FUNNY as all hell. The funniest part was watching the drunk guys hitting on these girls, and watching them NOT get rejected. But it went both ways.. I heard a woman talking to her best friend comparing this one guy to a lollipop. The people watching in Vegas is one of my favorite things to do. The smiles on his face were priceless.
So.. first step.. Treasure Island Siren show… Talk about bad writing and tacky.. but holy hell were the women hot. It was just fun to watch.. and then we started walking..
First major task:
let’s get into a club.. how about Coyote Ugly in NY, NY. We step up the head of security with our pile of papers.. I put on my best Salesman hat… and went to work. STRUCK DOWN like a golfer in a lightning storm. You have GOT to have a valid picture ID in Vegas. Even an expired by one day ID will not be taken. (UGH) So.. I bought the kid a beer, and we moved on. You all know me, I am NOT one for taking no. NEXT CLUB: ROK There is a really cute woman, pushing her Gin promotion outside the club, so we decided to take a different approach. I started talking to her.. she is in sales, so am I, let’s dance. First thing I did, was pull out the kid’s passport. After she finished pinching his cheeks saying this was the cutest picture she had ever seen, she said let me see what I can do. She goes to talk to a security guard, He lets us through the velvet rope (which had a huge line) and has us wait for “Cordell” Cordell was the head of security, he was a 9 feet tall (ok 7), 500 pound (500) bald, African American who reminded me of Michael Clarke Duncan in “The Green Mile” He takes 10 minutes, and looks through my pile of papers, but when he gets to the cute pictured passport, pushes Christopher against the wall and laughs at how cute he was. Pinches his cheek and says: “I got all I need, let this boy play” SUCCESS!!!! The Gin girl races up, kisses his cheek, and says YOU BETTER BUY GIN ALL NIGHT. We get in, and the club is the tiniest LAME club EVER.. it was laughable. We didn’t care, we were in. There were some cute women to dance with, but not many.. we were also really early.. this was about 9, and Vegas doesn’t get hoppin til midnight. We didn’t care, we were in… I bought my Gin, he got a beer and we reveled in the fact that we won! We left shortly.. with smile on his face.. his first Vegas Club.

We did some minor gambling, he hit the slots and was doing ok, we walked around, more people watching, some eating, some drinking, and we decided to call it a night. 2 am, considering I had been at work at 7am that morning was more than enough. Back to the suite, and into dreamland. Blackout curtains are amazing… we slept till 11, and then on our way. Walking around Vegas… you do a LOT of that there.. holy cow.. a LOT of walking. We had to go pick up the tickets for our “Present” which was at the Wynn, and there they had this incredible Ferrari showroom… why not? Talk about cool cars. This was a trip about “Why nots?.. and first times.. and awesome”
Ok… next surprise.. we take a drive.. about 5 miles away.. a special gun range.. that lets you shoot MACHINE GUNS. HOLY CRAP.. talk about fun and exciting.. if you ever get the chance, you really should… It is an exhilarating experience to hold that much power in your hands. Instead of paper targets, we decided to select these special t-shirts with targets on them so we could wear them later. I have never seen his face smile so big and bright. We had sooooo much fun. Shot an M-16 and an HK5. Talk about the quickest money you will ever spend… but wow.. yeah.. just amazing. We even got a set (one for each of us) of 50 caliber Barrett sniper rounds. The bullet is almost as big as my stapler and is now sitting on my desk right next to it. It is a dummy round now, no powder, but still impressive. We got out and he was still shaking, I told him that I wasn’t sure if we did that for him or me, but I was so glad he could do it with me. (nope, didn’t need an ID to shoot machine guns.. how funny is that)
We go back to the room around 5 to take a nap.. tonight is going to be Epic.
Most of you know… that I am a Country Fan.. you know that I was a Professional Country Dancer and that Garth Brooks is my favorite artist.. I have seen every Garth show ever in LA… I have danced at an event where I got to meet him but did you know that he is my musical Idol? To me he is the most amazing, genuine, awesome performer ever. LOVE this man. So when he went into retirement, I was devastated. Until it was announced that Steve Wynn pulled him out of retirement .. with a 25 MILLION dollar Jet and a chance to do the kind of show he had always wanted to do. Friday night, he tucks his kids into bed and does their prayers… he gets on his plane, flies to Vegas for an 8:00 show. Does two shows on Sat, one on Sunday, and then flies home to tuck them back in on Sunday.. He does this once a month, and misses 1 night of his kids’ bedtime.
We go downstairs to catch a cab to the Wynn. They wanted $15 for a cab, I went to talk to the bellman, and for $30 we got a stretch Escalade. The boy had never been in a Limo, and here we are cruising down the strip in this monster of lights and leather. Again, his face was just lit to the max. You can’t beat moments like this.
We get into the theatre and there are 1500 seats. We are front row center on the balcony.. 50 feet from the stage. On the center of the stage.. is a stool and a guitar. Over the PA, you hear Steve Wynn who says.. It took a lot for me to pull Garth out of retirement… ok.. well a Jet.. but ladies and gentlemen.. GARTH BROOKS! He runs out.. in a pair of jeans, a regular shirt, and a baseball hat. He says.. “It takes a lot of people to put on a show like this and I would like to thank them all. “Thanks Steve” yeah.. that’s about it. And I would like to introduce the band… Wait.. Steve just did that. This is it folks.. all you are gonna get. At this point, we are all on our feet.
This show is NOTHING like what a Garth Fan is used to.. no big production, no huge set, no crazy lights, no running around. It is a man.. on a stage.. talking to you. He proceeds to tell the story of who he is, and where his music came from. Starting with a history of Music starting in the 60’s He tell the story of his father, who only believe in Haggard and Jones. So he starts to play a Haggard song.. and then a Jones song. But then he talks about his mother.. who was 4 foot nothing, who loved Otis Redding or Aretha, and he would sing their songs… but then he would show how a certain note of a performer.. like Simon and Garfunkel (after he sang their music)… would resonate in his life.. and play that note… and then show how that note inspired him to write one of his songs and he would play that song. He talks about the first time he met HIS idol …James Taylor and how they were supposed to practice a duet of Sweet Baby James. And in his dressing room.. he blanked.. and couldn’t remember the words.. and actually started to Cry… until James Taylor gave him a hug. He sang in their voices and then moved on to his own. He moved on through the years.. through the music that inspired him, through the moments that changed his life. Discussed how Honky Tonkin was a sport… and how he and his buddies crafted a letter to Nike designing a HonkyTonkin Drinkin Shoe. One that was wider so you couldn’t tip over, with laces that couldn’t untie and materials that couldn’t stain when spilled on. This man was having a genuine conversation about his feelings and emotions. He talked about HIS love/hate relationship with George Strait. The conversation went like this: I Love George, I hate him, but I love him, but I hate him, but I love him, but I hate him, have you SEEN him, he still looks the same as he did 20 years ago. Back in the day, I ran around the stage over there, and back and sweated my ass off (Yes, Garth cursed a bunch of times proving he was even more human than we ever knew) and here is George.. standing at the front of the stage…. Not moving.. and yet he was KICKING MY ASS”… I hate him.. I love him, but I hate him. He kept taking off his baseball hat showing that he was bald.
He talked about people like Jim Croce.. who’s never had an album release until after he was gone. Who would sing about things that just happened.. And then Garth sang Operator.. and then sang Unanswered prayers. And then… he shared with us something that has never been released or even finished. A song that was pure.. and amazing.. just two verses that were devastating.
Then he talked about the woman who’s voice changed his life… and Tricia walked out. They had hysterical banter back and forth… and she did two songs.. one of which was Walkaway Joe. She sang with him in harmony and I was moved. Again.. the music was pure. She left and he kept going. I am not going to go through the whole set, but if you ever go, go to the 10:30 show on Sat, because he doesn’t have to stop.. and he doesn’t . He went on for 2 and a half hours. It was the most incredible music experience of my life. I was humbled by the honesty of this man who I have idolized for years.
Christopher was just in awe the whole time… no, he had never heard of half the songs that were being sung, be he didn’t care, he knew that he was witnessing and hearing greatness.
We walked back down the strip, and kept talking about things he did, and said, and how we felt, and it was amazing.
If you ever get a chance to see this show… please do.
Sunday, - slept in a little… walked around a little more, did a lot more gambling, went to the aquarium at the Bellagio, Saw the lions at the MGM, went to the M&M store, grabbed some food and hit the road by 4:30. 4 hours later of more incredible conversations that we had NEVER had and we got home.
Folks, this was one of the best trips in my life… I got to spend time with my son and watch his brain explode from happiness and new experiences. He couldn’t stop thanking me… This wasn’t about spending money.. this wasn’t about doing things.. it was about doing them together. We did some INCREDIBLE things.. but yeah.. we did them TOGETHER. My face hurts from smiling so much.
The pictures can be seen here: knightlightstudios.smugmug.com/Tr...Rnd
They haven’t been sorted yet.. I just got em out there so I could share.

The silence

is deafening.

The Gig of DOOM

make sure you get all the way through the credits

vimeo.com/15418654

Facebook and Twitter down at the same time

Come back to TRIBE!

Sell me this pencil.

A friend of mine messaged me today incredibly frustrated. She went in to a job interview for a Real Estate salesperson job and was asked to sell the interviewer some hand sanitizer. “ Then she told me that if I couldn't sell her hand sanitizer that I can't sell an apartment. WTF?? Retail and Real Estate are slightly different. There are different aspects that I can use as a selling point for an apartment as opposed to hand sanitizer.”

Here is my explanation as well as HOW you should sell something. I have always used a Pencil as my sales tool when interviewing.

Selling is a concept. If you know how to sell, you can sell anything to anyone. Doesn’t matter if you are fully knowledgeable on the product (but of course that helps beyond words) Doesn’t even matter if you have NEVER sold that product before. Knowing the basic concepts of sales will get you any sales job and make you very successful.

Sell me this pencil.

First.. I will give you the response I got from every sales guy I didn’t hire:

What we have here is a lovely #2 pencil. This fine pencil can both write AND erase. This pencil comes in a variety of colors but what we have here is an incredible YELLOW pencil. This color will not only accentuate any wardrobe item you may have on, but it will go really well with your eyes. Now, you may recall, that I mentioned that this was a #2 pencil. There are others, #1 and 3 perhaps, but I don’t think they are what you are looking for. This pencil is filled with Carbon… not as most people think, LEAD so you have no need to worry about lead poisoning if you stab yourself. I can sell you this incredible pencil for the amazing price of ONE dollar. But, if you act right now, not only will I give you this pencil, I will give you a second one for free.

You listen to that and you say.. OMG HIRE THIS GUY, he is brilliant. Yeah… let’s try this MY way.


So, you would like to buy this pencil. May I ask why?

(Rule #1: Establish the need. For all you know.. they are telling you that they want a pencil, but they might really need a toothbrush. Or a Pen, or a car. Someone telling you that they need a pencil, without establishing the fact that they ACTUALLY need a pencil can lead to a ton of work for nothing)

Ok, so may I ask what you are planning on DOING with this pencil?

Again, we are establishing needs. What if this person just told you that they wanted a pencil, and in fact a pencil wouldn’t accomplish all they needed. MAYBE they need to buy a computer, and by you selling them this pencil, you are going to end up getting them fired.

LISTENING to the customer before talking will give you leading questions. Maybe the pencil they needed is not a standard #2 pencil. They need a pencil, but they need a MECHANICAL pencil. Perhaps they are an architect but are new to the field and don’t know that a #2 pencil will not do what they are going to use it for.

How many other people will be using this pencil? (at this point you are going to think that the interviewer is going to think you are nuts, and yet, you are getting them so unbelievably excited you won’t believe it)

Perhaps, they have a need for 1000 pencils because the entire company needs them and they thought that this pencil would work for EVERYONE.

What are your LONG term goals for this pencil? How long do you intend on using it?
Maybe they need 1000 pencils because they will be using one a day for 3 years.

So sir… now we have established a need. Yes, you need a pencil, and yes, you need a #2 pencil, and yes, you are going to need at LEAST a box of them based on the project you have described for yourself, and yes you will probably need at least 20 more boxes for your coworkers. Have I missed anything? (you just proved to the customer that you are listening to them and their needs. You are giving them a chance to correct you and also to ensure that you are correct in your assumptions.

Sir? Do you know how much of a budget you have planned for this pencil? (if this guy has a penny to spend on a pencil that costs 50 cents, you are going to have to work with something else)

Oh.. ok, so you have an open budget and a purchasing card to take care of this? Great…

So with your pencil, you are going to need a pencil sharpener (You told him that he needed that, you didn’t ask him. ) If you asked him, “do you need a pencil sharpener?” he could have said No. never use closed questions.. always open ended ones. You are also going to need a pencil case, an additional eraser and some paper. (You are the expert here, he came to YOU, he doesn’t know all of the things he needs)

Sir, if you give me your contact information, I can notify you of any upcoming specials we may have on pencils or other items that I feel would be beneficial to you. I am pretty sure this pencil is going to help you succeed tremendously in your job. This is going to make your life easier and I am pretty sure your supervisor will notice you. (not only did you just get future sales here, but you also showed the guy that you are trying to help him. And if he looks better to his boss he is going to be much happier and richer)


So there we have it… I sold you a whole lot of stuff, lined my pockets, made my boss happy, made you happy, made your boss happy. You are not selling a pencil, you are selling yourself and your expertise .

Could that have worked for any product.. retail or otherwise? Damn straight.

My 2 cents… I sell for a living. And not to toot my own horn, I am really good at it. I HATE it, but I am good at it.

I miss this place

I don't know which is more sad, the fact that I haven't been blogging here, or the fact that I really haven't had anything to blog about.

Hello

echo..... Echo..... ECHO...... ECHOOOOOOOo

damn crickets

Dear Online Diary.

This is not a Glen story for “The Funny”™ this is meant to get you to think, and perhaps scare the hell out of you. This is based on observations I have made while watching Facebook and twitter over the past couple of weeks. These are the things that were posted. Some of the things posted with remind you exactly of things you posted, I hope they do. I am changing the names to protect the innocent.

The story you are about to read is not true... but it could be.

This is the story of Michael and Michelle; they have been dating for years. Michelle started faire last year with Guild X. Michael and his buddy Tom went to visit her 6th weekend. They enjoyed the beer, the food, the shows. They even dressed up.

And then there was Facebook and Twitter.

Michelle just friended 10 people from her guild and 40 others from faire. Michael friended a couple of them too because they recognized his face and a picture of him dressed in a faire costume. Heck, even Tom friended the hot girl Tina who works the Ale Stand.

Facebook & Tribe posts:

Dave R Smith. Drummer in the band at faire posts: Was an amazing weekend, thanks for all who showed up. Nice meeting Michelle and her Boyfriend Mike… better watch it Mike, she is cute and I could take her from you if I wanted to. (kidding)

Tina Dawson. Missed out on last weekend of faire, was sick… but hey, I had Farmville to keep me company. That is the one thing I have missed being at faire, at least with it over, I can spend my Saturday nights playing… I swear I must do that damned farm, 8 hours a night.

Pam Jones. WOO HOO I got my promotion!!! And a nice little raise to go with it. I am totally going out and getting that 42 inch LCD TV this weekend.. I SOOOO deserve it. Hell, I am going to get that new laptop too.

Mary Davidson. Ok folks, you asked for it… all your northerners better look out.. I am coming up ALLLLL weekend to cause trouble with your ass.

Bob (Tom’s friend) Well, I guess I am going to Burning Man this year, I am going to be with the ButtPaste camp. Hey Tina, isn’t that near your camp?

David R Smith. YES!! I just got my new house. I Finished Escrow and will be completely moved in in a week.
Jake Levinson. I just took the longest Poo.

Tricia Wilson. Ugh, remember that car accident from last month, the one that totaled my car? Yeah well, at least I got the new Celica. I started having some crazy pain in my lower Back, the Dr is keeping me in the hospital this weekend for tests. Thanks for all your love and support.

Jake Levinson is going to GEEKFEST in New York next month for 5 days.

Pam Jones. Just got to Disneyland, this is going to be one hell of a weekend. First Pirates, then Indy, then Pirates, then Indy! You know how it goes.

David R Smith. OMG this new Sushi place is AMAZING. It is directly across from the new house… They have a Lobster Roll to DIE for. The waitresses are pretty cute (posted pic of waitress holding lobster roll) the place is called Niko Niko’s (GPS Location Tag)


This weekend’s Police Docket:

Armed Robery at the home of David Smith. He was found shot and killed.

Car theft reported at the home of Tricia Wilson. Victim was in the hospital and when she returned the car was gone.

Burglary at the home of Pam Jones. Intruder came in and out.. only things taken, 42 inch TV and Laptop.

Burglary at the home of Mary Davidson. Intruder took their time, like they knew they had all the time in the world

Tina Davidson Raped In her home.


Michael, Michelle and Bob have a lot of new things and have hurt a lot of people.

Folks, YES, this is an over exaggeration, but everything in this could be true. Some of you post EVERY detail of your life, from where you are, to where you are going, to what you are eating, to who you are with. SOME of you friend people who you barely know. Some of you have your profiles so wide open that even people who are not your friends can read the details. Heck, you friended people you barely know. Your phones/posts have GPS locations open if you have not blocked them. Your profiles have your last names in them with the city and state you live in, how difficult is it for someone to google you or even just look you up in the white pages? People spend hours, every day, trying to steal your identities and hurt you… why would you make it easier for them?

I am not telling you to be a hermit. I am NOT telling you that you have to live in fear. I am telling you to be aware of what you post for the whole world to read. Please… for me… because I care a lot about you.