I couldn't help but think that the German accent was fake and it was all an elaborate joke. Except I wasn't laughing.
"You are lying!"
"I haven't said anything."
"With your eyes."
"Lyin' eyes, mmm. How does one lie with their eyes?"
"If you could see them, it would be obvious, but don't bother looking in a mirror. Mirrors are liars too."
"How is it obvious?"
The fake German accent's assistant made a small cough to gain my attention.
"He tells everyone that their eyes lie. It's not like eyes can tell the truth."
"You mean like looks can't really kill."
"Well, not like daggers shooting out, but I've seen thunderbolts."
"Thunderbolts? Is that a tongue I see, through those soft parted lips, lying. Who has thunderbolts flying out their lyin' eyes?"
"Thor, of course."
"Of course."
"Enough of your chit chattery chat. Open wide, show me if your gums are in cahoots with your lyin' eyes."
"Gums? How can gums lie?"
"Oh please, grow up or something, it's not your eyes, ears, nose, mouth, chin, teeth or lips that does the lyin'
(the German accent places two absurdly large hands on either side of my head), it's inside here, somewhere in the
mysterious folds of your brain, at this precise moment, you are, unbeknown to yourself of course, concocting new and improved,
devious and impervious, beautiful and exquisite lies, glorious and impenetrable, ever striving for new pinnacles of misconception."
"And no doubt you are doing the same."
"Of course."
The assistant has started to play with my feet.
"What do you think you are doing?"
"You can't tell? I'm playing with your feet, rather petite feet I may add."
"You may not add, subtract or otherwise co-mingle with my feet! Is this all some sort of elaborate joke?"
I started laughing, my feet are really quite ticklish. The assistant seemed to grow tired or bored and wandered off, leaving my feet
dangling, bereft of feathery touch, somewhat solemn now. The German accent has his back turned to me and seemed to be calibrating
some sort of strange unwieldy mechanical device, who's purpose could certainly not bode well for me, perhaps now would be an
opportune time to make my escape, but the accent suddenly turned with that thought.
"Escape won't be necessary. This machine merely measures certain brain waves that have previously gone undetected. No harm will
come to you. I took an oath."
"Wow, that's great, it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Tuck me in? What are these previously undetected brain waves?
"The lyin' waves, of course."
"Of course. How about you, seen any thunderbolts lately?"
"Normally, Thor is quite pleasant, a hair-trigger on the temper though."
"Normally and Thor should not follow each other in the same sentence."
"What?" Oh, I see. Thor is part of our defense perimeter. Thor is a robotic sentinel with laser armaments."
"Actually, that's kind of a relief."
"You might not say that if you heard its programmer complain about not all the bugs have been worked out."
"Great. May I leave now."