hey! it's my wife's birthday today! (9/29/7)

Here's Katie in the pool with her Auntie Ron,
back when she remembered who her real family was ...
Get a load of those pointed toes!

Happy Birthday Sweetheart!

au revoir professeur (9/23/7)

...sshhh...

sailing without wind (9/14/7)

I've buried 3 of my parents in the last twelve years (my two adopted parents and my bio-dad), none of that easy at all. And yet Q's death seems to have affected me even worse that those did. He was the keeper of the flame, the spark that ignited us, the source of our laughter and, apparently also, the keeper of my optimism. Who knew? But it's clear that, before his death, I remember having some; every day was filled with moments of "what if?" and "how about?"; and now, every day since he up and left us, I'm suddenly and chillingly aware of the absolute certainty of my own end and, for whatever reason, it seems so much closer than ever before. He was so so full of life and for someone like him to die ... well, it doesn't really bode well for the rest of us, now does it. Knowing I'll never see him again makes every day that much less exciting, knowing I'll never perform with him again makes the prospect of performing again that much less appealing. And yet I know, where he to read this, he's be mightily pissed. So, if for no other reason than that, I go on. But, do me a favor Q... haunt me, taunt me, do whatever you wish but please, blow back this way a bit of that wind you took with you. Thanks.

an invitation from Q's sister (7/21/7)

Dear Friends,

We have come to a decision in regards to a memorial for our friend and brother, Q. As he so loved the outdoors, we thought it fitting to sprinkle his first ashes at his number one choice place, Troll Hollow. His other great love was a picnic, so this is The Q'sville Memorial Picnic at the Old Renaissance Faire at Witches' Wood. It'll be on Sunday, July 29th, 2007, the day before his 55th birthday, at four am.

Kidding.

It'll be at nine am and go to about noon. As many of us have been dragged along under the blazing sun, hiking with Mr. Q, we know the heat did not bother him. But as it will be hot, wear a hat and sunscreen. The ground is awfully prickly out there so bring a tarp to lay under your blanket to put your booty on to have a snack. And bring that snack... and any liquid refreshment that you require. In lieu of flowers please consider a donation to one of his favorite causes, which will be detailed at the memorial.

Thank you,

Sue "Wacka-Do" Siebenthal and Shellendina or What?

P.S. On Tuesday night, July 31st, Beethoven's Ninth Symphony will be performed at the Hollywood Bowl at eight pm.Twelve dollar tickets are still available. He'd like that.

P.P.S. Please forward this to all concerned.

P.P.P.S. For directions, try to remember the eighties. If that doesn't work call Shelley. It's really called Paramount Ranch and it's off of Kanan Rd. off the 101 then left on Cornell Rd. in Agoura. Remember?

indeedy-doo (7/9/7)

That's what he would say on stage when he suddenly had no words. "Indeedy doo". He used to brag about the magic of that phrase, saying things like "see? no one know you've gone up on your lines when you say that!" and to that we'd say, "Q, everyone knows you've gone up on your lines when you say that! That's what it means!" But he never believed us, or seemed to care and for 30 plus years, when ever he played my assistant Hoodstink in The Wizard Show and couldn't remember a line (and how is That possible?!) he would almost smugly toss in an "indeedy-doo" and proceed to trapse about the stage in that way only he could move waiting for someone to save him. We never did. What he was doing was always funnier.

I first met Marque (later just Q) in 1970 in my drama class at Hamilton High School. I had long hair but his was even longer and he could do this amazing mime trick of sewing his fingers together. No doubt about it, he was cool so when, come springtime, he mentioned that his mime troupe was going to perform at the Agoura Renaisannce Faire, I knew that my troupe had to perform there too. Except there was one small problem. I had no troupe. Ah, but we were young and details were the bane of the elderly; I gathered a group of my friends (among them William "Billy" Barrett and Jeffrey "Gluckson" Briar) and we formed a troupe. Not knowing anything about mime, we instead decided upon something much simpler, a 16th century recorder ensemble. But apparently recorder players don't get to stay over night (as Q explained it to us once we were there), mimes do. And so Billy, Jeffrey and I put on white face and, keeping the makeup on as if it were some kind of night pass, stayed over night. It worked. Q was officially proclaimed God.

In 73, Billy and I were walking through the Blackpoint site at night (we might have been flying on mushrooms, I really don't remember) and we ran into Marque, sitting on one of the hay bails facing the main stage, grinning. We walked up to him and asked him what he was doing. "Hatching out a scarecrow" was his reply. The next year, when he got the Cock and Feathers wizard show script, we were ready to admit to borrowing that moment from him, but it seems he might have been on even more mushrooms than we were.

When Jeffrey chose to do other things, Marque joined the show and made it his own. Suddenly Murkmouth had his own assistant, someone who seemed to crawl out from under the same rock and, having this character beside me, everything I said was suddenly funnier. When I would hit Jeffrey, the audience would gasp as if I was attacking an innocent child; but when I hit Marque, they roared.

I fell in love with him at the faire as a mime and was amazed that this same person was also playing Pantalone in "Salami Del Amore". To one day be able to join the cast as Lelio was such an amazing thrill for, not only was I part of a successful main stage show, I got to work with the likes of Billy Scudder, Judy Cory and Marque Siebenthal. Dancing with the Gods.

When we toured the country on a bus he made a point of peeing out the bus door in each state. When we got to lay out in center field at Dodger Stadium to watch the 4th of July fireworks, he turned to me and whispered gleefully, "I peed behind second base." His need to make his mark, to mark his territory was more than accepted, it was expected. "I got backstage." "Did you pee?" "Of course." It sounds so strange in this context but this is one of his many pluses, it really is.

He made me laugh. On stage. Whenever he wanted to. And he knew it. I would be crying in my wizard make-up trying to look anywhere other than directly into the chimplike gawky face of this man. And our audiences knew it too. They knew that this man owned me on stage and they delighted in the fact that, with one twitch, he could reduce me to a blubbering idiot.

I could write about how much I love this man from now until I die and I know I would still miss something I meant to say about him. My entire body aches and each breathe is strained. No more Q? Are you insane? Where do we find our peace, our sanity, our soul? I am pissed off at this man for leaving us this early and if and when I do get to see him again, rest assured I will beat the living crap out of him. In the meantime we hug each other, share some of the countless stories this wonderful man has inspired and if someone asks me what I feel about him, about life, about all of this, I will say

indeedy-doo.

-sg

and so we wed (6/10/7)

Question: If two people who adore each other marry but neither write about it that day, does it still count?

Answer: Oh yeah!

Katie and I were married in the rotunda of San Francisco's City Hall last Tuesday, June 5, 2007 at 1:11pm. Our witnesses were Katie's Mom and Dad, Cher and her daughter Skye and my friends Scotty and Jill up from LA. Our flower girl was Anya, a part she was born to play! The ceremony was brief but not rushed (my goal, nearly met, was to not blubber like a baby throughout) and a good time was had by all. It was intentionally a quiet, low key event but we promise you (and you know who "you" are) an upcoming night of drinking and dancing at the Fairmont Hotel's Tonga Room, date TBA.

Tuesday was three years (and four centuries) to the day since we first met and, albeit very romantic, it wasn't the first date we chose. I moved north from Los Angeles with the intention of marrying my beloved on Valentine's Day but do to some "unintentional" and continuing mix-up with her divorce papers, we had to reschedule the date. Three times. I put the word in quotes because I really want to believe that no one could be so petty, so vindictive, so infantile as to try and screw up our wedding plans on purpose. But regardless or whether it was intentional or not, the importance of keeping our plans to ourselves seemed to increase with each added delay. In fact, over the last couple of months I have become so accustomed to keeping our marriage and wedding date a secret that, even though it's five days after the fact, I'm still waiting for the other shoe to drop, the latest legal email to appear, the next in a long series of miserable surprises the dark forces have planned in order to forever keep us apart.

I look down at my ring, the one Katie slipped on my finger five days ago. It's platinum, beautiful, with the inscription "I love you best" inside (she really does) and I smile. For as each minute passes it becomes more and more clear to me, to Us, that no shoe, no email and no dark surprise can change the fact that we are today and forever more

Katie and Sandey Grinn.

Thank the heavens!!!!!!!!!

-sg

find a penny (5/31/7)

During his last couple of months, my dad used to comfort us with stories like the one one about the penny (I say stories because he told me personally to always buy a lottery ticket after he died because if "he COULD find a way to fix it in my favor," he promised "he WOULD"; so far, and needless to say, he hasn't quite figured that one out). The penny story is a bit harder to prove and, resultingly, that much easier to believe. He told us that whenever we find a face up penny on the ground we should know that it is him, sending us his love. Tres Hallmark, Oui? Except for the fact that face up pennies have shown up like clockwork immediately after good deeds have been done or admirable risks have been taken or anything else happened that we would hope dad would have approved of. Countless times since he left us I have done something I knew to be important and immediately looked around, and usually found, a penny, face up, letting me know that I had done well, or at least that one recently deceased hero of mine thought so. I look for the pennies every where I go but what is even sadder, I still also look for his face, his smile, his approval, his love.

Six years ago today my step-sister Terri called from Orange, CA. (I was then in Canoga Park) to tell me that our Father was dying and if I wanted to see him before he left us I should hurry up and get down there. I told her I simply couldn't; I had just met him ten years before and was not at all ready or willing to see him die. I had already said good-bye to two of my parents (adopted ones but my parents none the less) and saying goodbye to this one, the "real one", would simply break my heart. I told her I had too many memories of him alive and well and couldn't stand to see him go like the others. I asked her to call me when he was gone, hung up and cried. I sat there and cried for about...oh I dunno...twelve seconds before I heard my father's voice in my head," Hey Schmuck! You think I want you to drag your sorry ass out here just to see me die? It's not about me or even you, you selfish bastard! The family needs you, not me! So, sonny boy, why don't you get your lazy ass down here! (that's kind of how he talked, a cross between South Philly and the Bible, as if those words were coming straight out the mouth of God, or at the least, God's friend from Philly). I picked up the phone and called the family back, "I'll be there in 20 minutes." It was a 30 minute drive usually but, as promised, I was there in 20. I walked into the living room and saw my dad unconscious on his favorite chair, the family spread out in the room around him. I went over to him, got down on my knees and took his hand. He seemed totally out of it but when I touched him he opened his eyes, looked at me, smiled and said, "Well! What a surprise! " Maybe it was but it somehow seemed as if he knew I heard him in my head, or at the least had learned something about being a man from him in the ten years we were together and for whatever reason it was that brought me, he seemed genuinely pleased that I was there. My God I hope so.

Six years ago today we all watched him die. The most magnificent man I have ever known and one I am so honored to call my dad. I'm so sorry he passed away before I found the woman of my dreams for I know he would have truly loved Katie (and Anya even more) and that they would have loved him too. Of course they would have. Everyone loved Marty. How could you not?

parody* (3/9/7)

"In contemporary usage, a parody is a work that imitates another work in order to ridicule, ironically comment on, or poke some affectionate fun at the work itself, the subject of the work, the author or fictional voice of the parody, or another subject."
-Wikipedia

*What I was trying to create when I made up and blogged that ridiculous survey. Thank you to those of you who went to the trouble of answering it; anything beyond a chuckle is more than I expected and far more than I deserved.

god help me (3/7/7)

1. Tongue or finger?
- tongue

2. If you could spend one hour with one of the cast members of "Can't Stop The Music", which one would it be?
- Valerie Perrine, duh!

3. Name two films that you think should never have won the Best Picture Oscar and the films they stole them from.
-I got three: "Ordinary People" , "Chariots of Fire" and "The Departed" ("Elephant Man", "On Golden Pond" and "Little Miss Sunshine")

4. A weekend camped out on a beach with a lot of people dressed as pirates or pulling out your own liver and beating yourself to death with it?
- Boy, that's a tough one.

5. Have you ever been to North Dakota?
- No

6. If you could replace three people from films they ruined by their being in it with much better choices, who would you remove and who would you replace them with?.
- Liza Minelli from "Arthur" (anybody)
- Hugo Weaving from "Lord of the Rings" (anybody)
- Adam Sandler from everything (oh, ok...I guess I'll volunteer for this one)

7. What is the weirdest color you've ever painted your bedroom?
- Floors, walls and ceiling all in black with black light stars.

8. Favorite answer to a trivia question.
- Marni Nixon

9. Michael Bolton or Kenny G?
- As what? Favorite forms of torture?

10. Feast of Fooles or Sunday Feast at the local Krishna Temple?
- Hmmm. Both really loud and starchy... it's a toss up.

11. Favorite punchline stoned.
-"No soap, radio!"

12. Worst film experience.
- Watching: "Death In Venice" and "Eraserhead" (it's a tie)
- Working on: "Beetlejuice"

13. If you were on Survivor, what one food could you never eat, even if you were playing an immunity challenge and you needed this win or one of you would end up spending another week without any fire?
- Green Jello.

14. Favorite place your mother ever took you.
- To my first Dodger game. It was a double header; Sandy Koufax pitched the first game and Don Drysdale pitched the second. Wow.

15. The worst place she ever took you.
- Yum Kippur every year at Temple Mogen David

16. Best day spent with your father.
- Everyday, starting with that one early on spent getting our DNA checked

17. Worst day spent with your father.
- His last.

18. Greatest sacrifice you are willing to make for love.
- Buying her a pug.

19. Caustic or Cryptic?
- Guess.

20. The beaches of the Pacific or the plains of Northern Scotland?
- What?! Next you're going to ask me if I have braces?!

21. Tom Robbins or Christopher Moore?
- Both and as much as possible!

22. Bette Davis or Joan Crawford?
- I think I'll go with the real actress here, Miss Davis.

23. Revenge or Righteousness?
- Not both?

24. Alister Sims or Reginald Owen?
- Alister Sims (but my beloved thinks Patrick Stewart was the best one of all)

25. "The Glenn Miller Story" or "The Benny Goodman Story"?
- "The Glen Miller Story", of course! Jimmy Stewart and June Allison kicked Steve Allen and Donna Reed's butts!!!

26. Favorite president.
-JFK

27. Favorite zen saying.
- It is best to ride the horse in the direction it is going.

28. Favorite movie/stage quote.
- "I always think there's a band, kid."

29. Looking back on it, probably a bad choice.
-Quitting my job as head Salem puppeteer on "Sabrina, The Teenage Witch" to work on "Lost on Earth"

30. Without a doubt, the best choice.
-Katie.

almost, really (2/21/7)

It seems clear that my muses all lived in the world of pining and pain for these last 24 days spent waking up each morning in the arms of my beloved have left me ... what's the word I'm looking for here? ... speechless. I've always loved NorCal as a cool place to visit and love it even more now that I know it comes with her (still haven't hung out with Eric and Lori yet though, what the hell is that all about?!) - And then there's Anya! What a joy! She's like the ...um ... little sister I've never had!!! Life is good. More to come...

-sg