This popped up on another blog and was interesting and informative. It's in the comments section lower middle part of the webpage (I used "find" Randomnoise's entry)



I AM AN AMERICAN CONSERVATIVE



this morning I was awoken by my alarm clock powered by electricity generated by the public power monopoly regulated by the US department of energy.

I then took a shower in the clean water provided by the municipal water utility.



After that, I turned on the TV to one of the FCC regulated channels to see what the national weather service of the national oceanographic and atmospheric administration determined the weather was going to be like using satellites designed, built, and launched by the national aeronautics and space administration. I watched this while eating my breakfast of US department of agriculture inspected food and taking the drugs which have been determined as safe by the food and drug administration.



At the appropriate time as regulated by the US congress and kept accurate by the national institute of standards and technology and the US naval observatory, I get into my national highway traffic safety administration approved automobile and set out to work on the roads build by the local, state, and federal departments of transportation, possibly stopping to purchase additional fuel of a quality level determined by the environmental protection agency, using legal tender issed by the federal reserve bank. On the way out the door I deposit any mail I have to be sent out via the US postal service and drop the kids off at the public school.



After spending another day not being maimed or killed at work thanks to the workplace regulations imposed by the department of labor and the occupational safety and health administration, enjoying another two meals which again do not kill me because of the USDA, I drive my NHTSA car back home on the DOT roads, to ny house which has not burned down in my absence because of the state and local building codes and fire marshal's inspection, and which has not been plundered of all it's valuables thanks to the local police department.



I then log on to the internet which was developed by the defense advanced research projects administration and post on freerepublic.com and fox news forums about how SOCIALISM in medicine is BAD because the government can't do anything right

Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to convert to Catholicism or leave Italy . There was a huge outcry from the Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal.



He'd have a religious debate with the leader of the Jewish community. If the Jews won, they could stay in Italy ; if the Pope won, they'd have to convert or leave.



The Jewish people met and picked an aged and wise rabbi to represent them in the debate. However, as the rabbi spoke no Italian, and the Pope spoke no Yiddish, they agreed that it would be a 'silent' debate.



On the chosen day the Pope and rabbi sat opposite each other



The Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers.



The rabbi looked back and raised one finger.



Next, the Pope waved his finger around his head.



The rabbi pointed to the ground where he sat.



The Pope brought out a communion wafer and a chalice of wine.



The rabbi pulled out an apple.



With that, the Pope stood up and declared himself beaten and said that the rabbi was too clever. The Jews could stay in Italy .



Later the cardinals met with the Pope and asked him what had happened.



The Pope said, 'First I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity. He responded by holding up a single finger to remind me there is still only one God common to both our beliefs.



'Then, I waved my finger around my head to show him that God was all around us. He responded by pointing to the ground to show that God was also right here with us



'I pulled out the wine and wafer to show that God absolves us of all our sins. He pulled out an apple to remind me of the original sin.



'He bested me at every move and I could not continue.'



Meanwhile, the Jewish community gathered to ask the rabbi how he'd won.



'I haven't a clue' the rabbi said. 'First, he told me that we had three days to get out of Italy , so I gave him the finger.



'Then he tells me that the whole country would be cleared of Jews and I told him that we were staying right here.'



'And then what?' asked a woman.



'Who knows?' said the rabbi. 'He took out his lunch, so I took out mine.'

I go by this place on Woodward (home of the Woodward Dream Cruise) all the time. Next time I have money I'll have to stop in. Buy Local: Al’s Famous Deli does right by buying Detroit

To write a paper on an absurd idea (a la A Modest Proposal by Swift). Came across the following idea from 2003 by googling "modest proposal ideas."

mb.sparknotes.com (MarsGirl200):We have this same assignment in my class. I'm writing mine right now. Someone in my class is doing this idea: You could write it about prisoners.. Take all the prisoners on death row and put them on a "Survivor" like show, only the person voted out of the tribe gets killed.. I thought it was a good idea. lol :-)

I heard this somewhere (forget where) and thought I'd share it. This is as accurate a description as I've ever heard of my understanding of human nature. Others have commented on missing attributes to either wolf...this is a parable, if something's missing we should be able to deduce which wolf it would end up with.



One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.



He said: ‘My son, the battle is between ‘two wolves’ inside us all. One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.



The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.’



The grandson thought about it for a minute, and then asked his grandfather: ‘Which wolf wins?’



The old Cherokee simply replied: ‘The one you feed.’