My Blog

Gypsy Phone Woes

Gypsy_Fyre — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 17:23:03 GMT

Yeah so my phone is dead! D-E-D! Completely and totally. It won’t even turn on. I can’t receive calls, I can’t receive text messages. The phone has been obliterated. The goal is to have it replaced on Friday. Sadly, though, it doesn’t look likely that I’ll be able to retrieve the numbers off my phone so I need everyone’s number again. (I can’t even find the piece of paper that I had most of my numbers written on! GRR.) I have also been working on updating my address book anyway so If you could send me any or all of the following information I’d be most grateful. Name Nickname Phone Number Mailing Address Email Address Birthday You can message me here or send it to ay dee in aye ar eye em at gmail dot com Please please please don’t assume I have it already. I have lost all of my contact info, friends, family and all my networking contacts for Creative Motion and Aduro Animous. This really really sucks! Help me out.

Transitions

Gypsy_Fyre — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 16:11:08 GMT

Here we go again…I’m leaving my house. My landlady’s subtle hinting at wanting me out of the house has gotten a bit direct. She isn’t kicking me out but she is being really unreasonable and suggested I “investigates” new living arrangements. I’m sick of the house and her antics…so I’m going to take her advice. The problem I’m running into stems back to Shawn—as so many of the dark clouds hanging over me do. When he got arrested and I got the notice to vacate the apartment in 24 hours I didn’t have time to paint and clean and cover nail holes and all that. With him still being in Ft. Stockton, that leaves the bill for theses things in my name. Somehow the bill added up to approximately $2,000 (the number is so high because apparently the money for rent didn’t make it to the office twice. Gosh…why’d I ever let him go…he was such a good catch!). Owing this has definitely put a gigantic roadblock in my moving back to Dallas. Renting even a Simi decent apartment is proving impossible. The places I’ve spoken with that have said they’d be willing to work with the credit issues left from my time with Shawn still can’t work with debt to an apartment complex on my credit. GREAT. So…I have to pay off that money before I can move back. So now it’s puzzle time….got to figure out how to make the logistics work. There is an apartment complex here in Emory that is going to try to work with me I think. It’ll be cheaper than what I’m paying for this house. Plus, if I’m really frugal and stick to a super tight budget I can get the entire debt paid off over the 6 month lease. Yes…6 months. *Sigh* 6 months more than I want, but I don’t see a lot of choice considering I’m not getting paid peanuts at work so coming up with 2k is going to take a while. I’d be in Dallas tomorrow if I could just scrape together enough money to make it all work out. Not likely. Gods this is depressing. Another option is moving in with Monkey’s parents. His mom made the suggestion so that we could “save some money”. I don’t for a second think that that would be a comfortable option but it would speed things along. I wish I could figure out how to raise some money fast however I don’t really think a bake sale would do the trick. I had considered asking friends to clean out their closets and garages and let me pick up the kinds of things they’d be taking to goodwill anyway—then I could hold a gigantic garage sale and use the money raised to get my ass to Dallas. I just don’t know. Huge Hoop Sale? Garage Sale? Panhandling? We’re going to go look at the apartments today. I also need to talk to Monkey’s mom about what if details. There are pros and cons to both options. Either way…I need to make a decision soon.

Blog Stuffs

Gypsy_Fyre — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 13:11:26 GMT

If you've noticed that I don't post in this blog as much as I used to, kudos for being observant. I tend to post most of my stuff on my livejournal account that I have embedded on my website now. If you're interested feel free to stop by and bookmark it. I post pretty frequently. www.gypsyfyre.webs.com

Phone Woes

Gypsy_Fyre — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 15:27:27 GMT

Ok, I be cranky! I finally had the cash to get my phone turned on. I called and they tell me that for them to reactivate my account I have to get a new number AND they're raising the rates. So---Grr. Forget that. I’m just sick of changing phone numbers. My parents have had the same phone numbers since they got cell phones. I’m envious. Also it’s pretty sad when you’re run back into the arms of sprint. So….At Least until September when my contract ends (I’m kinda glad I decided not to cancel my contract with them now) my phone number is back to 817.658.7239. Delete the old one. 903.288.3488 is obsolete. I’m extra frustrated because I JUST got new cards for CM with my 903 number on them because I got sick of having to make sure that the old new number *smirk* was on them now neither cards are accurate because the old number is on the first cards (that I think I threw away anyway) but it doesn't have web address on it and the newer cards don't have the new correct number. *head*desk*bang* Plus SpinFest is Saturday and there is little chance that I'll be able to get replacement cards in time. Oh well. Spilt milk. At least I have a phone now. I was getting’ lonely. Text me or something you guys….

I'm drowning

Gypsy_Fyre — Wed, 07 May 2008 06:38:09 GMT

I can't breathe....it dosen't matter how many times I try to take a breath, the air catches in my throat and I feel like my lungs are on fire. It feels like the universe is collapsing in on me. Nothing I look at seems the same; nothing I touch feels real. I'm lost. I react by isolating myself; seperated by this mask I wear durring the day from a world looking in. I feel them prying, preying. I hold them all at arm's length and lift the heavy corners of my mouth toward the heavens. The smile's fake. I'm numb. The world turns again. If I hear one more person say that they know how I feel; that they've experianced this before....I'll lose it. I want to know when they crawled inside my skin and felt what I FEEL! It's always different. I need them to stop taking credit for these things I'm emoting. My battle. My time. My grief. Don't trivialize it with your "been there, done that"s. It's raw, it's painful, and it's real. Most of all, it's hard. I feel a spiral downward taking over and the need to let the current carry me under is so strong and cool that I'm starting to long for it. This sort of thing happens every day. My heart cries out in pain, the sounds of agony streatch out to the furthest stars, but the world still turns round. She is unable to pause to console me. I know how this all works. I remember. I've done it again and again. Death. Grief. The clock ticks. It gets a little easier. Never better, but easier. I'm starting to feel like the universe is chipping away at my life, giving my death breath by plucking one person from my life at a time. Waiting until I'm only breathing, yet dead....to finally extinguish my flame. A mercy. One I'm not ready for yet. Neither was he. So young. Gone. It's cold again. Like someone sucked all the air from the room. This mercilous agony that rips through me, leaving only ruins behind comes and goes. A lot of the time it's just bittersweet. Reeling through old memories with the realization that we wont get the chance to make anymore a quick pace or two behind. Being around people that knew him helps some too. Telling stories and joking at the dinner table tonight was nice. It's the people that didn't get the privledge to get to know him that make my heart wrench. I feel sorry for them. He touched my life so much. Sometimes my mom just mumbles "I miss my Jazz". So simple. So true. It makes my heart bleed. The Pixies officially won the post-it note wars today. My mom tucked one, scrawled with playful words of love from us, into the folds of his clothes he was wearing before cremation. He admitted defeat a long time ago...we just had to make sure it stuck *wink*. I was glad she did. And just to add that extra flair....I've got the ending to the elfy-pixie story on the last one. You all saw what that one said. Good night Jazz. Tomarrow's goodbye...and then it's off to the rent-controled apartment in our hearts for you, buddy. Don't worry...I'll be in the neighborhood often. I'll pay a visit everytime I need my chapstick fix.

Written on a post-it note....

Gypsy_Fyre — Tue, 06 May 2008 01:12:29 GMT

Elfy, I really wish you could've stuck around for a while longer but I am greatful for the time we did have. Thanks for the song, the smiles and all the fun. I'll miss you, big brother. I love you; I hope you know. Stay Silly. <3 always, Pixie

One of those weeks.

Gypsy_Fyre — Sun, 04 May 2008 17:07:35 GMT

It's been one of those weeks. Someone must have peed in the universes Wheaties because she's been rather cranky lately. Life Stress had me down the first part of the week, then I heard about Jazz, then a good friend's wife decided to end their marriage via text message, then My sister's husband tried to kill her (no joke) by hitting her with his work truck. It's just been one thing after another. We're coping, though. I'm headed to California on Tuesday so that I can attend Jazz' funeral. I'm staying for a week so that I can spend some time with my family and friends in California. Then, when I get back I'll probably be rearranging things and sorting things to make room for Andy and Monkey moving in. I actually feel really good about their moving in. I would have thought I'd be freaking out, and I probably would have if it was just one other person in my house, but I think I can handle things better with the three of us. together we have a good checks and balances system. Plus if I just really need my space with the house to myself for a while...I'll just send the boys fishing or something. Problem solved. Besides, Monkey was at my house all the time anyway...now I can collect rent money from him. (mwahhahaha!) Then there's the fact that I feel better about not living there alone since My maintenance man that has full access to my house is the same man that tried to kill my sister and as soon as he gets out of jail is going to try to hunt her down to try again. Yikes. I think I'll be calling my landlady about that. Everything is so fucked up right now...but at least I've got some positive in the mix that I can focus on. I get to spend time with my mom, dad and best friend for a week or so, The boys are moving in-which should quell that "need change, let's move again" demon whose voice has been growing lately. Plus we're headed to Dallas today to hang out with the gang and go to the Sunday spin. Yippee!

The world has suffored a great loss today.

Gypsy_Fyre — Fri, 02 May 2008 05:47:25 GMT

and so have I. I got a phone call today that turned my world upside down. One of my mom and I's nearest and dearest friends was in a motorcycle accident and was killed this morning. My mom and I don't have a lot of details. All I know is that every time my mind gets still it hits me all over again that he's gone. I'll never see him again, and though I know death is a part of life, all good things must come to an end, he's of to a better place and all of those other cliches people tend to break out for this sort of thing, all I feel is a steady numbness...and then the pain. And every time my mind inches closer to truely grasping the gravity of this sudden loss and the giant gaping whole he's left, It's fresh, new and sharp, the agony that rips mercilously through me. Jazz and I related in a very big brother to little sister sort of way. Lots of teasing and good natured jabs were had. Pleanty of words of wisdom and sage advice came at me from that direction, mostly, though, he just lit up my life. Not just my life; anyone that got to spend time with him would find themself laughing and smiling. He was the kind of guy that would bring the party with him. No matter what was going on he was in it to have fun. If he taught me anything it was that it's ok to be silly; even if people are looking (especially if people are looking). Definately the "class clown" amungst the fun-goofy people I tend to fill my life with. A few years ago I was rather obsessive about the comfort and condition of my lips. I was the lip balm queen. Well, Jazz was in a joke band and for a graduation present he got together with his band and they wrote me a song called "Chapstick Adict". It was loads of fun, and one of the coolest things anyone has ever given me as a gift. It's online if you want to give it a listen. www.myspace.com/cushmaker We also remember "Post It Wars 2002". It's a better story in person. Remind me sometime when you see me and I'll give you the real deal. One of my favorite pranks, ever. I got him fair and square. I have a LOT of fond memories of that man. I feel blessed having the time with him that I did. Good Luck on your next journey, big brother, and be sure to put in a good word for me along the way. I'll catch up with you eventually, but I think I'm going to take my time. I love you and you've left an impression on my life that I'll take with me forever. My fond memories always tug a smile into the corners of my mouth. You will be missed. Have fun. Always, Mir-kat

For her, the one that guides me in the dark.

Gypsy_Fyre — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 21:34:59 GMT

Lend strength to the strong, wisdom to the wise, endurance to the brave. Show love to those with a wounded heart. Remind the people you care about what they mean to you. Everyone needs a helping hand from time to time. Don't be afraid to lean on one another. Please pray for my sister and keep her in your thoughts. She's had a rough few weeks. She deserves the best. I love her and hope things start looking up for her. She's one of the strongest women I know, but sometimes the best of us need help. I pray that the gods lend her strength and wisdom to guide her through it all. I hope you will too. Sis, I love you. I hope things start looking up soon. *huggles*

Gypsy's been a hermit...

Gypsy_Fyre — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 00:49:06 GMT

Ok...so I've been on this Hermit kick lately....until recently I was really only talking to the people that insisted to be right there in my bubble on a daily basis. I was kinda in a funk...doing some self analysis and that sort of thing. Not really feeling so up to people. If you haven't heard from me...don't be offended. BUT now...I guess people got used to not hearing from me....I'm all missin' everyone and no one will return my texts. Figures.

Crappy Work Dayz. ....OH!...and I hate people.

Gypsy_Fyre — Fri, 25 Jan 2008 19:09:28 GMT

I hate my job. If not before—officially today. I received two write ups at once. One—because of attendance. (I was late 3 days and absent 3 days when my car started to go on the wonky side). I get that one…I respect that one; life happens but attendance policies are attendance policies. Whatever. No big. THEN I got blind sided by a fucking “final warning” notice because when I’m at work…I sit at my desk, listen to my headphones and don’t really talk to anyone. Apparently that is what the lovely lady next me considers “being rude”…that and I don’t chit-chat with the chick next to me when she feels like a gossip. (the first issue I had with this lady was a couple months ago when she wasn’t happy with just a “hello, good morning” before I began my daily dive into an audio book so that I can get through my mind numbingly boring day. Nope. She kept asking annoying questions at 7:30 am when I’m so far from being awake or any kind of pleasant. Personal and needless questions like “how long have you been with your boyfriend” “where does your mother live” –and my personal favorite, and the one that set me into the-last-straw-land—“What did you have for dinner last night?” Buggar off woman!? Geezus. None of yer friggin’ business. I’m at work…not the 20 questions booth at the hell-z-here night club. Leave me alone! I snapped at her and asked if she could let me get to work—later I apologized and my boss talked to me anyway. I handled it badly. This time—no one could give me any specifics about what I did wrong. I’m just not peppy enough for her, I guess. ) So NATURALLY she feels inclined to send an e-mail to our boss complaining about how “unfriendly” I am. How the hell am I supposed to bounce back from that kind of complaint? ---I’m sorry, G, I have to write you up for being yourself, and reserved. Don’t do it again or I’ll have to fire you. (?!?!?!?!?!?!) Whatever….I give up!!

School Stuffs

Gypsy_Fyre — Thu, 03 Jan 2008 21:08:39 GMT

Well…First Monster down—Registered for classes….time to tackle the $FA$ monster. I’ll fill out the fafsa with my parents on Sunday and then go into the FA office on Monday after work. I talked to the digital imaging program director though and he helped me get a feel for the program, gave me a nice tour and helped me register for the classes I needed. I like my schedule! I’m in class all day on Tuesday and Thursday with a nice 1hour and 40 minute lunch break and I also have two self paced classes that are on Monday and Wednesday but because it’s self paced I don’t have to meet for that schedule. 15 hours of classes… I’m so excited. Crazy how I’m so anxious to go back to school, right? Less than two weeks! I’ve got a lot to do.

No sleep...again.

Gypsy_Fyre — Fri, 28 Dec 2007 17:27:38 GMT

Not five minutes of sleep. Of course. I went to bed early last night--tossed and turned until 2 am...then I couldn't fall asleep because when I finally got comfortable I couldn't stop coughing. The result? A splitting headache and an overwhelming desire to go home. I'm supposed to be going to Midland with my best girlfriend this evening so that I can see my family. I just want to hide in a cave.

sinus infection..

Gypsy_Fyre — Mon, 17 Dec 2007 15:28:10 GMT

I want to be curled up under my covers sleeping off the croupy doom in my bed instead of stuck at my desk in my fridged office. I have a sinus infection..and quite possibly...both of my ears are infected because of it. I feel lousy. I can't afford to take a trip to the doctor, though, of course--so I'm taking the last couple of antibiotics I have left from my strep this summer, drinking lots of green tea and peppermint, and pumping my body full of echenatia. My sinuses are so irritated that keeping my eyes open and looking at a screen REALLY sucks. I swear I've been sick about 80%of 2007. My immune system is shot...and I feel like SHIT. I'm absolutely worn out--and I'm tired of it. My life is good...I should feel good. When I'm a student full time again I will be eligible for student medical insurance...so I'm going to see if I can find a holistic doctor and begin visiting them regularly. I've been little Miss don't go to the doctor until I've got a cramp in my thigh from having one foot in the grave for too long and it's a bad habit--but recently, without insurance, a trip to the doctor (if nothing special happens) is $85 dollars..plus whatever other expenses including meds occur. so what choice to I have really When this sinus thing is in remission (I hesitate to say gone, or better, or well, or whatever these days) I'm going to begin the Master Cleanse. I have several friends that have tried it and found it to be very successful and a couple them swear by it like it's a religition--saying it's the best thing they've ever done. After a lot of research I've got my own theories...but I'm going to give it a try. In the meantime..I'm nursing my symptoms...trying to get better...and trying to stick out the day. blarg.

Who wants to gift the gypsy?

Gypsy_Fyre — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 19:37:53 GMT

I found treasure! Now I just need a fan club or a lonely wealthy business man (or woman) that has nothing better to do with their money than spend it on me. Hehe..oh well it's fun to look. Why do I go to this website? I want everything--especially this http://www.goorin.com/shop/108/Goorin%20Core/TATOOINE.html Oh..and this http://www.goorin.com/shop/411/Goorin%20Core/FENDWICK.html but I might have a better shot of getting this. I just hope that they still have it at that price after the holidays. it's a dangerous website for us hat, bag and scarf groupies! I never thought I'd say this...but good thing I'm completely broke--or I'd be tempted to buy something I shouldn't spend my money on.

bullets and brain goo.

Gypsy_Fyre — Tue, 11 Dec 2007 21:36:01 GMT

Please help: I hate my job…my mind is numb. I’m hoping to be starting classes this January—and if a miracle happens I’ll be able to get enough financial aid scraped together for the semester that I’ll be able to go to school full time and study instead of work. For me to keep to the program schedule that I’m looking to sign up for I’ll have my head in the books mucho. My fuckin brain will liquefy or explode or something if I’m juggling 15 plus hours of class AND going to school full time. In the meantime…I hate my job….help me find something else!

mariachi VS. Industrial---I'm going to kill something

Gypsy_Fyre — Sat, 08 Dec 2007 18:52:18 GMT

Anyone love me enough to murder or atleast run off my upstairs neighbors. I'm SO VERY sick of waking up to the blairing of their shitty music or their kids screaming. Currently I have some hard gothic industrial cranked up just to drown them out. KILL KILL KILL....grr. The anthem playing in my head every Saturday....and weekday evenings. I hate my upstairs neighbors. The Man Upstairs - Voltaire The guy upstairs is such a freak. for five years now i've had a leak. what does he do up there? All day long he "sleeps all day" then he goes out and comes home in the most intoxicated way. As far as i can tell, he juggles bowling balls but he's not good at it. He moves his furniture then at six am he pulls out the vacuum cleaner to suck his room. The guy downstairs is also crazy. he spent some time in an institute. it did him not much good He's off his medication and he starts screaming "Virgin Mary, you fucking alien!" According to him Jesus Christ smokes crack and other sundry things. But it's the man upstairs who pulls the strings, won't let me sleep. Please, kill that man upstairs. if you ever loved me, you'll do this one thing, won't you sweetheart? Please murder that man upstairs. if you want to be my friend you'll have to prove you mean it. I used to think that rent control was a good idea until i moved here. now I'm the only sucker paying more than a humdred bucks a room And i'm surrounded by lunatics who don't even need a moon But it's the man upstairs who pulls the strings won't let me sleep... Please, kill that man upstairs. if you ever loved me, you'll do this one thing, won't you sweetheart? Please murder that fuck upstairs. if you want to be my friend you'll have to prove you mean it. Then there's the lady across the hall who always knows what's going on and Machu Pichu down the stairs who is selling crack from door to door. 14B are refuges and 14A transvestite whores. But you know who is coming home He's falling up his drunken stairs... Please, kill that man upstairs. if you ever loved me, you'll do this one thing, won't you sweetheart? Please murder that fuck upstairs. ...if you want to be my friend

It's the thirties and my emotional stability is wall street.

Gypsy_Fyre — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 06:34:34 GMT

I crashed...HARD....I don't even know where it came from. I don't know why I'm sad, just one of those nights, I guess. I just wish I could sleep. insomnia + bipolar upswings...not fun. I just want to be held....Gods, that sounds hokey. but sleep and comfort are tipping the scale as raging necessities at the moment. I hate it when this hits me with no warning...I know I'll be totally fine by tomarrow...I just feel pitiful and alone and lost. ARG!

No more spinning tires.

Gypsy_Fyre — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 22:14:34 GMT

Some of you might be privy to the funk I’ve been in lately that I’ve come to call my “pre-life crisis”. I’ve been struggling with deciding what I want to do and how I want to do it. It hit me recently—the harsh reality that this is the year, that if things had gone according to plan in the first place, that I’d be graduating college with my BFA in Digital Imaging. I was floundering around, recently, wondering what I was meant to do and how set and go about a new plan. Feeling like I failed and feeling worthless, small and incompetent is just some of the self-belittling things my alter-ego has been pressing on me lately…but in a moment of sober clarity I realize how I need to fix this. I’m going back to school. I’m going to finish what I started…and classes start for me May 2008. I’m going to get my associates in Graphic Design and Multimedia and then I’ll pin point the next step from there. Tentatively I’d expect to move back to Cali after I graduate, get some business courses under my belt and then begin actively pursuing placing the Creative Motion Studio-Shop front into existence. However…I’m DONE planning that far ahead. I just know that eventually I want to do that…but time will tell when, where and how. I’m going to focus on getting things set up for going back to school first. I talked to the Admissions guy today. I’ll start researching scholarships I’ll be eligible for and then, in probably march I’ll check out where I stand with FAFSA and figure out the best way to rearrange my life to go back to school FULL time!

Blackmore's Night - Wish You Were Here

Gypsy_Fyre — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 23:01:33 GMT

Wish you were here... Me, oh, my countryman, Wish you were here... I wish you were here... Don't you know, the snow is getting colder, And I miss you like hell, And I'm feeling blue... I've got feelings for you, Do you still feel the same? From the first time I laid my eyes on you, I felt joy of living, I saw heaven in your eyes... In your eyes... Wish you were here, Me, oh, my countryman, Wish you were here... I wish you were here... Don't you know, the snow is getting colder, And I miss you like hell... And I'm feeling blue... I miss your laugh, I miss your smile, I miss everything about you... Every second's like a minute, Every minute's like a day When you're far away... The snow is getting colder, baby, And I wish you were here... A battlefield of love and fear, And I wish you were here... I've got feelings for you, From the first time I laid my eyes on you... your company I have it stuck in my head...and aside from the actual snow part, it rings true for "my countryman". Hurry up, Sunday!! I want my Monkey.

A snippit of my day

Gypsy_Fyre — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 19:02:06 GMT

I got up from my desk to go to the bathroom to brush my teeth just as Jay, my boss, came around the corner. We joke and kid all the time so he took a goofy “on guard!” stance with his pen. I didn’t flinch…just raised my eyebrow and looked from him to his pen to my toothbrush that I held in front of me (bristles pointing towards all pathetic-like). Me in the most matter of fact voice possible: “I WILL shank you with my toothbrush” Jay: “..but you haven’t sharpened it yet” Me still rather blasé: “well, it will hurt more this way.” Jay: “ with that end?” *pointing at the bristles* Me: *shrug* “So I can brush my teeth with your gore.” Jay: *blinkblink* The real reason I put up with my mind numbingly boring job: I can joke with my boss plus I get away with SO very much…We have fun. Besides, I’ve already trained my coworkers to be scared of me. Which is always good, right?

I spent...

Gypsy_Fyre — Tue, 27 Nov 2007 15:33:06 GMT

An ENTIRE hour ...HOUR looking for my keys this morning. My ferret had hid them INSIDE my oversize chair!! *rolls eyes* I'm being punished for leaving for so long. Good thing I go to work about an hour and fifteen before I'm technically late. It's going to be a LONG day.

A discription I wrote about myself for a website

Gypsy_Fyre — Fri, 16 Nov 2007 00:24:34 GMT

so...what do you think? Gypsy is fueled by the desire to infuse creativity and balance into every aspect of her life. The idea of “Balance, unity and control in mind, body and spirit.” constantly drives her and keeps her grounded. Always the Artist; Gypsy sees beauty in everything she looks at and is always on the look out for how to leave her mark on the world. She values communication, confidence honesty and creativity and tries to surround herself with the kind of people that have these types of qualities.Gypsy is the one that people always seem to come to for a listening ear and an honest and objective perspective. She enjoys witty language and silly antics and has a quirky sense of humor with a fondness for satire and cynicism. Gypsy tends to be rather shy at first but what awaits the person she’s becoming acquainted with is quite an exotic charisma and playful spirit. She loves a variety of different things, indulges in many unique hobbies, loves to explore and is rarely caught without her hula hoop or her favorite set of sock poi (or two!). She loves nature, making chainmail, painting, taking photos and doing anything creative and/or artistic. She is the founder of an amazing organization called Creative Motion that is centered around motion, dance, expression and the joy of skill toys.

Um...I have a confession.

Gypsy_Fyre — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 20:04:18 GMT

I’ve been listening to Techno Dance all day…A large portion of my day has been spent listening to Let Me Love You by Da Buzz on repeat as loud as I reasonably can at my desk. My coworkers must hate me—s’ok, they annoyed me first! I feel a lot better—for now. I do, however want to dance! So…well… Ok, ok! It’s time to come out of the Techno-closet. I’m a Hippie Raver type—there, I said it! You all knew I was a Gothic Hippie Artist….I’m erm…broadening my horizons. Or something. Fine…whatever. Just don’t tell Voltaire. [aside:] Don’t worry dearest gothic industrial music…such as Cruxshadows, Zoromancer, Das Ich and the others! I have a big heart and could never stop loving you my sweet. It’s not cheating—I love you both. She means nothing to me, we’re just good friends. *holds up her rivet-head equivalent of the Boy Scout oath (stomp?) “Goth’s Honor!”* Stomping boots in UV lights? Black-light reactive hair falls? I can probably work something out. Look out…Gypsy-Hybrid! LA scene asks—I’m exploring my cyber-goth tendencies. Or something–My rivets find out and I’m shoe-goo. Oh dear, maybe I should rethink--- No worries, though. It’s not like I’m trading in my leather corset and spikes for candy beads and P.L.U.R. *shudder* I’m a gypsy…I’m nomadic…what’s wrong with it? Oh geeze *bites nails* I’m going to catch so much flack. *sighs* but I can’t help it--- [WARNING: read this with as much, if not more, irony and light heartedness as it was written with. I’ve run with the Anit-PLUR crowd for so long that I’m never going to hear the end. Most that know me well will probably understand the irony and silliness in this. I mean it, though. It’s not that I want to get all PLURry or anything…actually the only thing that bothers me is the whole I’m-drugged-out-of-my-skull-so-much-so-that-we-mask-our-one-dementional-juvinile-behavior-with-a-bright-fluffy-façade-and-bubble-over-with-cutsie-fake-flowery-ooze. Otherwise…I’m a fan. Just like in every group of people…they’re a certain “kind” of person that makes the gypsy fight homicidal tendencies. Anyway….yay techno! Let’s dance!]

Lost

Gypsy_Fyre — Wed, 07 Nov 2007 07:04:34 GMT

Tonight has been one of those nights...I feel like I'm being ripped apart from the inside out and I don't think anyone has noticed. It's like...everything just hit me at once. Empathy for others....the list of things that have been haunting my thoughts lately....mixed with an overwhelming dose of bad body image...I'm about ready to go play in traffic. I need to go to bed but I know a terror is waiting for me as soon as I fall asleep...and Monkey isn't here to rescue me. There...finally the tears of release...oh...nevermind. I just can't quite cry. I feel alone...worthless...and distraught...like there is no hope, love is lost and my firelight has gone out. What else is there? I'm suddenly scared of the darkness....the darkness that lurks in the shadows of my mind. Ugg...so melodramatic...I just feel like.."what's the point" *lost my hope, love and firelight* ~G