Bats in the Belfry

What can I say about Jim Boz?!?!??!?

Hadara — Mon, 12 May 2008 13:44:04 GMT

- ridiculous delicious fantabulousness? - the Elvis of Bellydance? (that blue costume was really sumthin'!!!) - a TOTAL cut up and a HAM? - an excellent teacher with the ability to all levels an styles all at the same time with grace and ease? - a bellydance telepath who is totally in my head? - my new subject to stalk? OMG... well I sya all these things and do much more!!!!!!! THis past weekend, Taletha, Jennifer, Nycole and I road tripped (yayyyy!) hours to Beckley, West Virginia through crazy storms (well.. tornadoes apparently) to attend his workshop. The expense (I am sooooo broke) and the craptastic weather couldn't have been more worth it! He was clear, concise, open, engaging and let me say.. I am glad I was wearing panty shields cuz he made me laugh so hard!! yeah... I peed ("gather up the glitter and daaaaaaaaaaance") I just want to fold him up and stuff him in my pocket! Truthfully, I would love to go to San Diego when he's actually there and study with him for a little bit. Everything he does is so applicable AND it doesn't hurt to do it. It's the first cabaret oriented class I have taken that didn't hurt me. Jim Boz is an instructor that EVERYONE, no matter what style. would benefit from taking his workshops/classes! He is incredibly insightful and smart (and being eyecandy stud doesn't hurt a bit either), he is simply fabulous and on HELL of an entertainer!!!!! It was a GREAT trip! THe next step..... stalking him and bringing him here to Kentucky... it will be quite a while before he can get here but TRUST! I am working on it!!

I am officially.....

Hadara — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 21:20:15 GMT

a certified yoga instructor!!!!!!!!!!!!! yep... passed my exams with honors! YAY me! now.... who wants to hire me?

YAY! I will know by monday...

Hadara — Fri, 07 Mar 2008 23:38:14 GMT

if I will be a certified yoga instructor! WOOT!! in the meantime.... watch me and my fire troupe on TV!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PogAV3HfrvE

dare I even blog.....

Hadara — Sat, 09 Feb 2008 17:14:51 GMT

bleck.....just bleck. my job is NOTHING that I thought it would be. Hard physical labor... I have to power walk miles a day... I am extremely unhappy with this. There is nothing I can do about it so I have to stick it out until .... well... just until. At least it's more money but fuck do I earn it. more later when I feel like talking. I'm going to beginner class today... yay for beginner class! I have missed it.

things to do....

Hadara — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 19:37:14 GMT

when the world is gettin' ya down... so, it seems like I'm up and then the very next day I'm down... really starting to get annoying. so I have gathered inspirational reading material to keep me from bottoming out all together. I have really found a few winners and I highly recommend them! Eat, Pray, Love: Elizabeth GIlbert The Bhagavad Gita Light on Life: Iyengar these arent necessarily "feel good" books. they make you look at your own life and appreciate what you have. They put things into perspective. They just plain make you feel good.. I think I need to pick up some Rumi too... It's really working for me. when I am down, it's not for very long these days and I never go all the way down. yogic breathing does alot to chase away the Blue Meanies as well but that's conversation for another day.... onward...

chin faultering.....

Hadara — Mon, 07 Jan 2008 17:40:02 GMT

so of course there are no openings at Amazon which is why I hadn't heard back from the agency in a week.... I dunno... I can't seem to get a break. I get the impression that the universe has something in store for me but I am also getting the feeling that it is a hitting rock bottom kind of thing... I dont need that kind of lesson... I really don't. I'm really starting to get afraid. How can there possibly be no jobs out there for me? it's ridiculous. I'm skilled at almost everything for christ sake. I shoulda been a nurse or a physical therapist... hundreds of jobs available in those fields.... this is really starting to not look good... at all. UPDATE: I found a pharmacy tech job in Georgetown and applied for it ... the woman had an automatic reply saying she was out of town until today so tomorrow I am calling her ASAP. it's the first tech job i've seen lately that didnt require certification... so maybe that has some promise

here I go!!!

Hadara — Mon, 31 Dec 2007 17:00:41 GMT

I am officially on my way to Integrity Staffing Solutions with resume in hand to start the process of gettin the fuck outta RiteAid!!!!! Here's to: a more 9-5 like job being able to pay my rent being able to afford my dance/yoga classes weekends off over 10 bucks an hour keep your fingers crossed for me! it's new year's eve day ... maybe something new will come my way and I can start over just like this new year....

dropping tribes

Hadara — Fri, 28 Dec 2007 16:04:27 GMT

I have so many I dont ever look at so dont be offended if I cut one of yours.... more than likely I'll put it in my bookmarks... I gotta clear out the clutter!

today!

Hadara — Fri, 28 Dec 2007 16:01:12 GMT

I'm proud of myself! I did all the things I said I would yesterday (well except for cleaning off the makeup table.. I just plain forgot I said that) I did my yoga practice for an hour, answered one question on my exam, finished my laundry, and went to dance class!! and for the first time in a while going to class didnt feel like a chore. sometimes class feels like that for me... more like a job/work instead of the awesomeness from before being in the troupe... I think it's because it's not just for me that I work so hard anymore.. its for the benefit of the troupe and sometimes that gets overwhelming. It can be stressful... I certainly dont want to be the loose end... ya know? But what was cool about class last night is this: I always used to marvel about how dancers (modern anyway) could go to an audition for a video or a musical or something and the choreographer would fast fast fast throw out the dance moves and then say "GO" and they had to do it... I couldn't believe they could retain it all... well, last night I got as close to doing that with Mama Duck as I ever have. It was awesome! so we have awesomeness back!! WOOT! AND... my knee didnt hurt!! So... I have been reading this yoga book for knee health and there is alot of great stuff in it! SO.... today my goals are: do some poses from that book, answer at least one question from my exam OR revisit my outline for my paper, clean the makeup table, put last of laundry away. It's only 11 am so I have time to do it all!! in fact I can get it all done in 2 hours!

new paths, observations, decisions and such

Hadara — Thu, 27 Dec 2007 18:38:13 GMT

So this Christmas was very different for me. It was the first time I didn't spend it with my mother...ever in life. I did not get back to Boston at all, so I didn't get to see my old friends either.. It was weird without my mother but for the most part it was probably the most relaxed day I have had in years... and especially the most relaxed christmas. My friends didn't notice I wasn't there... didn't hear from a single one of them... not in email or phone. A friend had her twins early and I didn't find out until more than a week later. In fact, I didnt even find out she was pregnant until about a month ago. I am noticing this year that people from up north are starting to forget about me.. I am no longer on the priority list for news, maybe they are finally starting to believe that I will never move back there, I dunno but they are definitely starting to drift away. well... what can you do? you can't keep everything the same.. especially when there is a geographical space of about a thousand miles... and of course the idea of anyone coming to visit me is unheard of so.... that's that I guess. So odd to think of my life there as being over, especially when I never felt connected to Boston anyway.. eh.. just more things to mull over I guess. So, I spent time with my old man and he replaced my broken DVD player (sweeet) and got me a coupla DVDs (Chicago being one of them!! GAWD i LOVED Fosse's work...) Nichole got me a gift certificate to the Half Priced Book store (the new heaven if you ask me!)... I went today and bought 5 yoga books.... yeah... I'm outta control but really the dvd player and a gift certificate to a book store are are the best presents I could ever have...ever! I got a nice one (yoga book) for knee health... my knee is still busted and some days it hurts so bad. Its just a friggin tendon issue but damn.. it's really starting to get in my way and get in my way with dance as well... Sandra is gonna hook me up with a PT/ortho consult. weight loss needs to be in the cards here too because being fat isnt helping my healing either. the yoga training is still ongoing.. still writing, and in between I'm developing my own yoga program. One on one yoga sessions may be in the cards as well.. looking into that (that's where I can make enough money to pay my rent without having to work another shit job). This year I am just going to work on these specific things. yoga, dance, weight loss, cleaning out the cobwebs of my mind so I can clean out the cobwebs and junk of my living space. I hold onto (hoard) too many things. Emotions, material things, old school stuff, junk in general and it all gets in my way of doing the things I want to do that are most important. There will be baby steps here. There has to be otherwise it is too overwhelming to try and do everything at once. So.. I started this week with laundry... did a BOAT LOAD while Nik is on vacation. Today I am going to do my yoga practice (it is SO hard to get it done everyday) and work on my last yoga exam (even if I only answer one question). If I have time before dance class I will clean my makeup table. I think that is enough for today.

2 down, 1 to go and a horrible head cold!

Hadara — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 22:49:43 GMT

So yesterday on my day off I was nursing quite the head cold.. seriously I have never seen snot issues like this... and I was hoping and praying it wouldn't hit my lungs, so to distract myself I decided to hit my yoga exams .. hard... got 2 done!!! WOOT!! I have 1 more, an essay and a video to make and then I'm done! Ishoulda worked on it today but I had called in sick yesterday for today so I decided to just take it easy, pop alot of pills, drink pomagranate cranberry juice like it's my job (yummy and LOTS of vitamin C) and watch really bad movies. (and I mean.. really bad... some piece of crap that had to be Elizabeth Hurley's first movie... Kill Cruise? she had Brooke Shields like eyebrows... wow)... Had to skip class and rehearsal today.. Lecca would just kill me .. my lungs are already walkin the line here and I think changing my friend's cat's litter box is what started this whole disgusting event, so I have to be careful over the next couple of days... even decided to use the internet at the library rather than risk a few minutes with her cats today. Bleck.... I haven't been sick in a long long time... I'll tell ya what tho.. a glass of white wine really helps to dry up the sinuses! I can't use decongestants because of my asthma but the wine did wonders for a little while! I highly recommend it! anyway... it'll be back to the crap fest that is riteaid tomorrow.... not lookin forward to it .. at all... I am still job hunting.. we'll see!

i think my ideal job would be 9-5

Hadara — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 19:56:47 GMT

I am having the hardest time finding listings for a simple 9-5 job... how hard does this have to be? i did find what could be a nice listing for support staff at a brain and spinal cord injury place that could be cool.. I will be sending my resume to that... hopefully the hours are reasonable.. I just dont understand why almost all jobs these days have positions that run all the way around the clock.. our society has become so stuck on instant gratification... jeez.. just wait a minute will ya?!? anyhoo.... please wish me luck finding another job.. this one just sucks so bad and I've really had it. I can't even call in sick without the bullshit.. jeezuz.

not looking forward to work today... and other ramblings..

Hadara — Fri, 23 Nov 2007 18:00:06 GMT

gah.... black friday is always a bitch when you work in retail... I am hoping upon hope that the majority of the business will be over and done with before I get there at 4:30. so I'm sitting here.. battling the oncoming tryptophan coma and pondering things. I feel very sedate and almost zen in this moment and I'm not sure why but I'm gonna roll with it. I have been feeling this overwhelming, almost panicky need lately to get my shit together.. but right this minute all the anxiety in that need is gone.. I don't know what happened to it.. but it just flew away. So now what I have is this very laid back desire to get my shit together... almost a loving pull to go home and clean my bedroom.... for those that know me, this is so unusual that they might think a pod got me because the very idea of cleaning brings up a devastating level of anxiety... you see, I am a textbook, grade A, classic hoarder with a capital H and the thought of getting rid of things is almost paralyzing... but for some reason I am not feeling like that... the idea of cleaning up and organizing my bedroom is actually making me feel warm fuzzies inside and I'm smiling about it.... ?!?!??!?! I think a pod got me whilst I was sleeping last night... either that or a body snatcher snuck up behind me just now and is presently sucking my brain out of the back of my head whilst I type.... anyhoo.... this sudden sense of calm is really nice right now. so I'm gonna go ride this wave and do some cleaning. who knows how long of a window I have with this so I better take advantage before it's gone. here's to throwing out garbage and hopfully finding those favorite rings that are hiding in all the mess!!

umm.. so yeah....

Hadara — Thu, 22 Nov 2007 23:37:33 GMT

well I heard back again from the ex on Myspace and it really was him that sent me that message. I think Coach was right about her standing over him when he read my first message. he wrote me back and said that he knew who I was and just didn't want to upset his wife... so I wrote back saying that I understood but it was unfortunate that after all these years she still has issues with me .. for no reason really.. she sees me as a threat for some reason.. whatever.... crazy woman... anyhoo... he also said that life was great and he has a little boy now and I'm happy to hear that! one weird thing tho was that he told me that they visit KY every year because her family is here... now that is one crazy ass coincidence.. if she knew that I think the top of her head would explode!!! THAT is a totally hilarious thought.. well.. I feel better.. I hated the thought that he had become an asshole. That would have been the rawest deal because he was the sweetest guy I had ever known really. gonna move on now... Just one more person from my past that I can let go of and I can continue to forge ahead in my own life.

so strange...

Hadara — Tue, 20 Nov 2007 21:16:29 GMT

So I found an ex of mine on myspace from when I was about 17 til 20. he was a really sweet guy and we remained friends for a long time after. He used to come into CVS when i was a tech there... well he had married this girl Kerry and I guess they were happy. He didn't really seem it but what business is it of mine ya know? so anyway... he's on myspace and I sent him a message months ago. "He" finally answered yesterday with: "if this is the rachel from dedham, I am happily married, sorry, I can't get back to you." WHAT?!?!??!? I can't for one minute think that this message was from him.. no way.. uh uh... first he doesnt talk like that, second we went out for 3 years... he knows what town I'm from and I have a ton of pics on my myspace page.. I dont look any different than i did really from when I was 20 so I can only draw the conclusion that it is his wife that got back to me. I did respond with the fact that I was from a different town and was his ex from wayyyyy back and just wanted to see how he was and that was all. dont wanna talk to me? then fine (but why be out on myspce if you're gonna be like that) another reason why i dont think it was him. of course his profile is now updated with the fact that he's married and has kids whcih it wasnt before... hmmm..... yeah.. he would never be that rude to me ever.. he was cool the last time i saw him... just happened to come into my store on the last day I worked there and we said our goodbyes... his wife always hated me... total jealousy of our past relationship... for christ sake we were kids... get over it (and need I remind her that SHE married him.. not me) I just sent another message telling him I am very glad he is happy and that I was just checking on an old friend... not hitting on him as his message implies which is something I have never done since before or after he married this woman... and then told him i hope he is well and his life is everything he wants it to be... if it's his wife.. what a bitch... if it is him.... then I am insulted and he can go to hell... sucks... we were friends for so long.. even before we dated and for so long after... its such a waste. makes me sad.

Halloween!

Hadara — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 15:50:06 GMT

So what are folks goin as? I'm going as what I apparently look like.... know who that is? take a guess...

Foxfire Hypnotica is gonna be on TV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hadara — Fri, 19 Oct 2007 18:48:16 GMT

YUP!! woo hoo... we're gonna be featured on KET on a segment on performance art and the local economy... maybe now we'll get paid what we're worth!

New Tribe!!!

Hadara — Tue, 09 Oct 2007 15:34:06 GMT

Hiya! I started a new tribe to sell my wares.... I make headpieces, belts, arm bands, double ended dreads in most colors, jewelry (all these in the more tribal fashion).... I also take custon orders for certain items so let me know what you want and I'll let you know if it can happen!!! Come check me out and thanks in advance for looking!!!! http://tribes.tribe.net/hadaratribal

productive!

Hadara — Thu, 04 Oct 2007 15:34:48 GMT

YAY! I figured out that working my inventory really made my hand feel better.... it's still swollen but it doesn't hurt anymore and I banged out a couple headpieces!!! AND got some dreads made for an order! WOO HOO!! and today is my second day off in a row! although I have to open tomorrow it's still nice to have today off... I'm gonna try and get a boatload more done and maybe I'll even get to upload some pics to the tribe I started but yet to unveil... some days are down and some days are up... that's why I was laughing so hard about my momentary misfortune yesterday.. I knew it would turn around but it was so friggin funny how it all came crashing down in abot 30 seconds... life is so strange like that... I think I am my own worst enemy sometimes... create my own drama.. without even trying but that's just the way my life goes sometimes.... and I usually don't mind my own bullshit that I make up myself. Often it's amusing (well.... maybe not for anyone else but I find myself funny..) well.. back to the grind stone... I gotta clean up my place a little so I have more room to create... catch ya on da flip side.

i can hardly believe...

Hadara — Wed, 03 Oct 2007 16:12:06 GMT

the ridiculousness that is my life.... I seriously can't seem to get a handle on my financial situation... It has been in the shitter since I left school and I can't seem to get out.. and it all seems to happen at once. I am negative in my account, below the red line for gas in my car, the right hand blew up at work yesterday from my arthritis and is STILL fucked up, rent is due on friday and did I mention I'm negative so I wont have enough to pay rent (yay ME), oh and my car registration expired on sunday and I have no money to renew.... my cell is probably gonna be shut off any minute but luckily my lights are still on and my car insurance is paid (for a car with no gas that is currently illegal)... seriously... I'm laughing so hard I'm getting a stitch in my side right now... (and I think the typing is making my hand feel a little better)... what is going on here? How do i get so deep in like what? 30 seconds? my world just tumbled down and all i can do is laugh.. i think i'm losing it... I gotta go make some dreads and dance.. that'll do me. keep fingers crossed that my ma has some extra funds somewhere to lend me... dang it.. when it rains it pours eh?

the day of your birth....

Hadara — Thu, 27 Sep 2007 18:12:48 GMT

celebrating that always seemed odd to me.. I never quite understood it or really embraced it on an intellectual level. I mean, I was happy to accept gifts and such as a kid but as I've gotten older it has become... just another day.. The weather is kinda crappy here today and I have to work so maybe I'm a little blue... maybe it's because I'm one step closer to 40 which to me is very very very strange... I don't feel really bad about getting older ... its just a weird concept since I could never picture myself this age and I still don't even look it so it's weird.... surreal. well.. back to work for me.. dinner and hopefully movie with the boy later..

yeah... sometimes....

Hadara — Wed, 26 Sep 2007 04:45:07 GMT

gettin off work early.. gettin drunk with my best friend and my man and watchin a video of "my name is mud" is the best thing in the world.. oh yeah!

gettin it in gear!

Hadara — Tue, 25 Sep 2007 18:20:56 GMT

THis week is really gonna be crazy I think... gotta work work work.... make my wares,..... post pics (that arent really coming out well) on my new tribe (which I will send out invites for when I have more stuff posted).... get to writing my book and work on my yoga exams.. my birthday is also on thursday and this one feels weird... I'll be 37 but it feels more like... I dunno.. older maybe, in some ways and brand new in others.. I'm gonna make dinner but Quis is takin me to the drive in (woohoo... never been to one before!!!) I think it's gonna be a good week if I can get the things done I want to get done... I wish I had more money to really get this goin but I'm making due with what I have so far... "DOn't go through life, grow through life" Eric Butterworth

so nice to be creative....

Hadara — Mon, 24 Sep 2007 18:17:52 GMT

Since things have been calming down for me I have been a fountain of creativity.. I have to carry a small notebook with me everywhere I go because ideas are just pouring out of me! I am making headdresses and more dreads and I plan on starting a tribe to sell my stuff in the next few weeks.. I will send out invites when I am ready. I also plan on selling belts I am making (of my own design... not really inspired by any other dancer out there ..ala Mardi, etc) and I am working on designs for arm bands for the large arm... So, I'm working hard to make my vision a reality. I am gearing up to finish my yoga teacher certification and I am starting on writing my book (Tales from the Paper Hat) and I hope that by the end of the year I will really be kickin it into high gear! I know I bitched about this stupid job I have but it has finally sunk in how free I am... my feelings of failure and guilt have lifted and I am mentally free to create, to spend my time making pretty things and it's GUILT FREE!!! I no loonger feel like i am doing this to procrastinate getting other things done like school (well.... I kinda am still... I never friggin clean my apt... I SO procrastinate about that).. I have nothing outside my arts that is pressing to kepe me from indulging in them and I have NEVER been able to truly live my life like that.. I am so free and now I so get it!!! anyhoo.. I feel good... knees are still busted, shoulder is better.. I feel a bit broken physically but I feel good mentally! I am excited about what I am trying to start here..

ahhhhh.....

Hadara — Tue, 18 Sep 2007 16:48:15 GMT

So... things are starting to calm down some... got through the big Indigo show (it was AWESOME!!!!) and Peggy's anniversary party. the workshops I hear were excellent (I did not participate except for TObias who was kickass as usual... I was vending my wares instead). Zoe and Mardi are such nice people. I had not ever met them before but they were so personable and sweet. Hope they can come back again soon!!! SO I sold some dreads at the workshops.... pretty successfully I think SO... if anyone wants some I take custom orders! I am seriously going to start to delve into my own designs as well as making some of the things folks have been asking for (cowrie shell tassels, etc) but yeah.. I am really going to try and take this accessory business somewhere... it may not necessarily be off the ground but it will be somewhere.. So... I will start with dreads and go from there. If you are interested then feel free to PM me or email me directly at hadaratribal@gmail.com Hope everyone else out there in tribe land is doing well! I gotta go clean up the stray synthetic hair off my bedroom floor... it's everywhere... bleck!!