Smooth, firm seemingly resilient yet not. Childlike innocence, purity to inspire lust. Desired for the what of it? The nothing I knew, the nothing I had tried, the nothing I was capable of yet? All eyes on that creature, representing freshly. Empty vessel waiting to be filled. How is it that was a gift so much more then what I am now? A full, rich, complex, exciting, knowing, talented and truly yes I am version of woman. The smooth replaced by a few creases, the firm more so in some places and far less in others. My furrow represents deep thoughts too often. Lines about my eyes and smile relay that indeed I was there for the joy that created them time and time again. How is my face less for signs of experience? By belly had expanded as I housed a child, the biggest gift I received and gave. Yet, taut and starved bodies with nothing but countable numbers away from the day they were born hold more allure? I am stronger now in body and mind and spirit. Ive had them all tested time and time again. Scars show indeed. My heart a mass now. Funny now I think about how love is perceived of the heart when it is the purely mind and body that holds it. Love is in your head. Too often for many in the loins alone. Ah a bit of humor but not there. However, I suffered a broken head seems to not evoke what a broken heart displays. My muscle is stronger now then days gone by. I push that, nay ask for that and results flourish. Yet ha ha heart strong I may never be. I am basking in my ever-expanding strengths and lessons learned. Somehow, the world denies me the honors as they equate best with youth. Youth is not earned but given and rarely oh rarely cherished at the time. Ah wasted indeed. If I knew then what I know now…Id have been a very bitter child. Now as the body aches here and there and often noises accompany my movements I see who and what I am in a true and blessed light. More comfortable in my own skin, even if that’s because my skin is actually looser…I laugh. Oh and I DO laugh. With heart and soul and all of my body too. The young girl would have feared such display. I am a queen now, not a princess. My domain is my own. No longer fed to accept the idea that I am what you see first. My clothes do not make me better or less. My body represents where ive been as well as choices I made. I am not sorry if it bothers you that I chose to become strong and obviously so rather then skip a meal or shove my fingers down my throat. What power is that? Your pants look nicer on your scrawny oh I’m sorry (not) slender frame (a frame only without walls, no contents). Envy the princesses in their empty houses NOT…. while I find my party in the wild. Does your purse match your shoes dear? Oh my aren’t you sumthin? If the house is on fire babe its me they will be calling. Ive grown mature yet far from old. My lines and crevices a map of the journey well traveled as well as a story of the times I was lost…yet found my way back. Time and time again. My mouth speaks what it knows now and not just what they want to hear. I won’t create a me for you, as my self is far better then. That song or poem or film or painting or photo or honorable act someone put so much time into brings a smile to my face. Never your shirt or skirt… Oh silly princess. I am rich beyond numbers counted. I do not need to seek calm nor hide my eyes and ears from angry. I embrace what is and make it what it can be from there. I know one can’t control the world with a perfectly chosen lipstick. I do not need to hide in delusions. Drunken dilutions of what is real. I do not run to a simple fix. Empty arms of emptier souls. Ill run naked in my imperfect perfection. Ill beat you to the finish line and ill have a knowing smirk upon my ever lined faced. Ill fly higher and faster with my strong wings of truth then your jet of lies. I am woman hear me roar. I am mother hear me roar. I am lover hear me roar. I am all I need to be and still finding more along the way, hear me roar. My balance in the knowing that nothing is ever true..only permitted. I was a young girl once. She lives in me still. My legs stronger the hers now. My arms carry far more then she could have imagined. I may run a little slower but I get where I’m going faster. I used to lament the loss of that child so smooth a seemingly pure. Now I embrace my fully known woman. Fools will ignore it yet those with clear vision see. Ill dance, ill sing, ill cry, ill laugh, ill ask, ill tell, ill love, ill hate, ill make love, ill fuck, ill scream, ill be quiet, ill rest, ill run, ill push and ill get pushed, tell the truth and digest too many lies. I am no longer a young woman and for that I am fully, fully, fully indeed blessed.

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