Oh, to be 5 again!

This weekend was one of the best weekends I have had in a long time. It seems that "Life" can over take you and it is so easy to forget all the joy that is right in front of you everyday. I have been really trying hard lately to let go and just enjoy life, in the moment. This weekend really reminded me how important that truely is...

I'm not sure that I have ever said much about my son in my previous stories so let me give you a small glimpse of the little boy we named Julius...

He has always been well, let's just say, spirited. He fills the room when he walks in. He can make you laugh and pull your hair out at the same time. He loves mischief. He is daring and courageous. Ask me sometime to tell you the story about Julius aka. Spiderman (as he was so dressed at the time) vs. the kitchen counter. Just a hint, Spidey was way off his game that day! He lives for sports and has been playing "baseball" since he was 18 months old with a plastic bowling pin and a small rubber bouncey ball, much to the chagrin of some very breakable things. Julius loves to wrestle, fall and scrape his knees every chance he gets. Baths? Who needs 'em and Power Rangers, gotta have 'em. He loves dirt and monster trucks. Karate is his new passion. He picks on his sister with unbridled ruthlessness, waiting to pounce at any given moment. He has a built in stealth mode that has flown under my radar on numerous occasions especially when he is on a mission for sweets...

His imagination takes my breath away. His stories... you just live in them. When he puts on one of his million costumes he really becomes that character and you can't help but to become part of the story yourself. The things he says he "does" at preschool, like driving a big truck, fighting a fire or sailing a ship across the sea... your heart just yearns for those adventures. He is so rough and tumble on the outside but he is so gentle, loving and caring. It just shines from his eyes. I am always telling him what a good Daddy he will be someday. He genuinely loves babies and loves to be around them. My niece Lily captivates his busy mind in ways I can only dream of. Julius watches over her like nothing else... his eyes filled with love and admiration. He has his own cabbage patch named Donovan who is very well taken care of. He always has his binky and Donovan is often sporting the "stretchy pants" that came off our Nacho Libre DVD-that actually are the perfect size and match great with the Nacho Libre costume Julius put together for himself (I think I may have posted a pic of him in that costume in my album). "Father" and "Son" often go on adventures together wearing their matching "stretchy pants". The woman that catches this boy's heart will be very lucky indeed. He already has many to choose from and boy does he love it. There is nothing in the world like trying to explain to a little preschool girl why it MIGHT not be okay for Julius to have a sleep over at her house just yet or should I say ever!

Well, this little boy of mine will turn 5 on Friday and I just can't believe it. There have been many-a day that I have felt every painstaking minute of these past 5 years and other times where I just want each nano-second to last forever. Grandma and Grandpa came in for a long weekend and we celebrated. I let Julius pick what kind of cake he wanted me to make for his birthday and it was a toss up between a alien/rocketship cake and pirates. Suprise, suprise as the little boy who is plastered with pirate tattoos chose the latter. He was so excited. We shopped forever looking for the right stuff for his cake. But we found what we were looking for and had a great time painting his treasure chest and filling it with booty. We baked his cakes Saturday morning so we could have them cooled for decorating by the evening. I think he ate more batter than we put in the pan! I made the frosting and soon the cakes were transformed into the ocean and Treasure Island. We even included "treasure" in between the layers of the island cake, which Julius proudly did all by himself. The cake was ready for his party the next day.

Sunday started out foggy but it turned out to be a wonderfully nice and sunny day. The family got together and we enjoyed celebrating Julius. He was definately the little "man of the hour". It is so hard to watch and be a part of these kinds of things without a little tear leaking here and there. Just seeing the joy on his face while he opened his presents... new fishing gear from Grandma and Grandpa and a Superman backpack filled with treasures from Aunt Peggy (including a new Power Ranger, yup, uh huh, you heard it, nothing like a little Power Rangers-Jungle Fury to brighten a little boy's day). No camera can catch that, no matter how clear the shot. He spent a lot of time passing his new football around and living it up as if yesterday never happened and tomorrow would never come.

The weekend is over and I can't help but wonder, at what point do we forget the pure exhilaration of a simple celebration? Be it a birthday, a new job or even the celebration of the sun rising bringing with it a new day. If I could just reach back and find a moment in time that brought me just that pure and honest happiness, like for Julius, opening a present and making a cake, if I could not only just gather that moment and put it in my pocket but, REMEMBER that it is in my pocket and bring it out everyday. LIVE it everyday. What a day, no, what a life it would be...

Now, as I empty my brain onto this page, to get a good night's rest, I try to let go of the days events, Genna knocking out her front tooth on her bike, pulling the never-ending weeds and winter growth out of my butterfly garden, Julius digging for treasure next to my sidewalk and start think to tomorrow tasks..pulling more weeds and filling the hole where "X" marked the spot... I am going to try to remember to celebrate a little more.

And at the end of the day tomorrow, when my energy is all but gone, my head a little balder and Julius crawls up on on my lap and snuggles in, I will enjoy letting it all just melt away... He is my "Bubby-Boy" and I wouldn't trade him for the world. Maybe I will try and put him in my pocket...

Another step into the adult world...How I spent my Saturday...

I know there are TONS of Moms out there that can identify with me...I spent my Saturday evening getting Genevieve ready for her first school dance. Yup, you heard me, at the ripe old age of 6 years old and in kindergarten, she had her first dance. Did I metion she had a date?

The day started with our ritual family outing for roller skating at Acres of Fun (which realy is acres of lots of fun). However, Genna was very distracted because she knew that when we were done we would be going shopping for her school dance dress. She was sooo excited. Me? another bittersweet moment in the life of your kids growing up I suppose. Someday I will get used to it right? So the boys sit in the car as they have no interest in dress shopping with us, and Genna and I waltz into Kohls. Genna heads right to the girls section, and NOT the baby girls, let you not be mistaken on that point, I had made that mistake once and learned my lesson fast-haha! Being that Easter is right around the corner and Christmas is in the recent past, there were plenty to choose from. We looked around and found a good at least 4 dresses to try on. Here is where the fun starts...

We try on the first dress, which was very cute, Genevieve walks out of the changing room to the three sided mirror, she skips, jumps, runs this way and that and of course the required twirl and spin to see how the skirt floats. Ok, dress one down. Back into the changing room...we repeat this ritual for dresses 2 and 3. She spins, looks and jumps about. Now dress number 4 evoked for some reason an altered reality for her. She puts on this red, white and black flower-type pattern dress. After I finished putting dress 1,2 and 3 back on their hangers I walk out to find her crouched down on her hands and knees head cradled in her arms.

"Genevieve! what in the world are you doing? Are you ok?"
"SSHHH Momma, I'm doing the cherry blossom dance!" **Huh?**
"Um ok, but could you get off the floor?"
"Wait!"
"For what?"
"SSHHHH"
I listened, I truly did, thinking that she must be hearing music or something...nothing...
"Genevieve Elizabeth, please get up off the floor there are other people waiting for the mirror.." for by this time a small group was gathering at the site of a little girl huddled down on the floor in front of the three sided mirror, patiently waiting for their turns...nothing...I look around and give an apologetic smile. Then ever so quietly you hear the small hum of a song and she starts to rise...it was like she was totally possessed and in another dimension. Genevieve Jumps up does some twirling and whirling, spinning and leaping while singing this tune and floats into the changing room like nothing is out of the ordinary. I excuse us from the small audience and quickly shut the door behind her grand exit.
"So..um...did you like that dress?"
"no"
"Really?"
"the skirt was very princess-ey"
"ok, gotcha, should we try some other ones?"
"mm hmm"
What can you say? So, I head out and find one more dress.

I came back, still smirking about the cherry blossom dance I had witnessed, hoping this next dress would be the one.
I handed it over and she put it on. This time I follow her right out to the mirror. She made her approach.
"Momma, don't watch me"
"How am I supposed to see how it looks?"
"Wait! No peeking"
Oh, great, I thought, here we go again...I look, I couldn't help it!
"Momma you can't look until I am at the mirror!"
"Ok, OK!" I was NOT prepared for what came next...
"Now you can look"
I looked, "that is nice" and in the most exasperated tone I think I have ever heard...
"You are SUPPOSSED to tell me how I look 10 years younger!"
I have never laughed so hard in my life...now for those of you who may not know, 10 years younger is a makeover show on The Learning Channel that Genna and I love to watch. It takes women who do to many reasons have stopped taking care of themselves and end up looking hagred and old. They get up into a sound proof booth and random people walking by guess how old they are. And as you can guess the team takes the woman and makes her over to look closer to the age they really are. Anyway, after a good rolling laugh, she decides on dress number 2 and away we go.

We get home and get started on her hair which she wants in a certain way and she wants make up on. Sigh...she is so excited at this point she can hardly contain herself. It is almost time to go...there she goes slipping through my fingers yet again. Her hair is done and curled, make up on, REAL pantyhose, no more tights for my little girl and small heeled shoes. She looks gorgeous. Her date comes to the door to get her and she looks adoringly at him. I take some pictures to capture this moment in time, wishing I could go with her.

With a little sniffly smile, I wave to her as she and her date gets into the car and is off to her first dance...

The Daddy/Daughter dance at her elementary school...and in her oh-so advanced years...she said it was the best night of her life.

Happy Valentine's Day to the one's Iove!

My sister Amy sent this out to me, my sisters and my Mom today. I think it is wonderful and wanted to send it out to all of you...

Happy Valentine’s Day 2008

It is now mid-winter. The darkness is just beginning to shift. The earth still hardened and flowing waters fluctuate from crystallized ice to great Oregon mist. Timidly new growth can be seen. Most of Life slowed to a cold crawl… Now February, with the mystery of Valentines Day, I begin to be called out of hibernation.

As a little girl I imagined heart shaped notes of friendship; as a young woman romantic dreams…Now I believe that the words "Be my Valentine," simply means "you are loved."

May Valentine’s Day gently wake you from the winter slumber and embrace you – softly warm up visions of peace and love in your heart, for your sweet self, your family, community and (please) the world.

Wishing you an amazing 2008. I thank you for the place you hold in my life and heart.

My Valentine wishes for you:

“May the long time sun shine upon you;

All love surround you, and the pure light within you;

Guide your way on (home).”

≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈

I send you a--

“A flurry of breathless kisses for your soul”

Poet Rumi

Happy Valentines Day!

In Love

Dancing is a family affair in our household!!

Enjoy!

www.jibjab.com/sendables/...fCkBiG2YPcf

A Mother's Touch for the Holidays

Before Thanksgiving, my family decided to put up all our Christmas decorations so that when my Mom came she could see it all decked out. Since the chance has never presented itself for her to see us at this time of year since we moved to Ohio, we were really excited. I decided on blue and gold for my colors this year and I LOVE the look of bows. Now, on a side note, have you ever noticed when you put your decorations away from the year before that no matter how carefully you do it when you pull it out the next time it seems little elves and have gone in there and tangled it all up? (Oh wait, I do have a 4 yr old boy, hmmm...) Anyway, after much untangling, finding that ONE bulb that has the whole string dark as night, bow tying, kid wrangling away from the road and attaching the lights, we finished. It looked very nice. I then realized that my wreath from last year that my Mom had made didn't match my colors for this year (yet again, yes, I am a virgo-lol). My Mom is a very talented and crafty woman and can create amazing things with flowers and wreaths amongst other things. So, I give her a call and she is more than happy to help and she sends me off to the craft store with the directions of "get all the pieces I want to be part of the wreath". All the pieces huh? Uh, oh. Off to Pat Catan's I go. Now, don't get me wrong I LOVE Pat Catan's and I do consider myself a crafty person but a wreath? and it's pieces? I dutifully studied my wreath from last year and determined I needed, well, a wreath, ribbon and all the other "stuff".

Genna and I walked into Pat Catan's which had been decked to the nines of crafted things that in my mind, I just couldn't comprehend how in the WORLD one would accomplish it? Wreaths, arrangements, trees and ornaments all prefectly made and hung about the store. Glitter and crystals, ribbons and greens galore. The woosh of crafty smells engulfs you as the auto doors open with an angelic "WHAAA..." There is nothing like the smell of a glue-gun stick melting-haha. After much searching we find the isles that contain, from floor to ceiling, small boxes full of the "stuff" to choose from. Garland, glittered flowers and balls, small presents and bulbs, peacocks (yes, peacocks) all sparkly and feathered. Now how does one choose from all these things? Luckly my colors were pretty specific and after much himming and hawing I have my cart lined with things I think that will work out together. We search out ribbon and find an empty wreath about is to be turned into a Christmas wonder. On the way back to the front we happen to go down the ornament isle and I find these precious golden dragonflies and put them in the cart with the rest of our finds. Not exactly Christmas I know but I hoped to find a way to put them on the wreath. After checking out, Genna and I walk out of the store covered in glitter and sparkles and smiles on our faces. The Christmas craft bug had sufficiently bit us and we now had to eagerly wait for Mom to come and make sense of all we had bought.

On Friday we decide to get started on our project. I lay out all the pieces I had bought. Some gold and blue bulbs, gold glittered leaf bunches and blue grape bunches some parts glittered some not, some amazing ribbon, a blue star ornament we found and lastly the delicate gold dragonflies. Mom looks at it all for a minute, I started to wonder how in the world all these things might go together. Could it be done? But I see magic creep into her eyes as she glances over it all and starts to creating a picture in her mind. Darting from one thing to the next. Soon her hands follow and an amazing creation is made from the hodge podge of stuff I had bought. But it didn't stop there and after the wreath was complete we started to make some sconces with the left over stuff we had. It all looked breathtaking.

After placing all the glorious things we made on my porch, I stood back, one again covered in glitter and smelling of glue-gun sticks, and watched as the sparkles seemed to glow in the moonlight of the night. No lights were need to excuded the magic that was created here. And although my Mom is hundreds of miles away, I now have a little piece of her right here on my porch for the whole holiday season through. All I have to do is look. Thanks, Mom.

A "Full Circle" Moment

"Can you show me how to do this....." Genna asks as she starts clapping her hands together and slapping her arms and legs. And in complete jubliation I knew exactly what she meant. How could I forget.

I headed right for a flash back to the school bus sitting across the aisle from my girlfriend...
"Miss Susie had a tugboat [we sang], the tugboat had a bell, Miss Susie went to heaven the tugboat went to hell-lo operator......" the clapping and slapping keeping in time and creating this odd sort of song that just, well, worked.

I come back to my daughter standing in front of me...
"of course!!!! I can teach you how to do that!!!" I responded, not understanding how I had not thought of this before. Her smile grew from ear to ear and very slowly we turned her self inflicted red welts from random slappings and clappings into a smooth rhythm and song.

"Miss Mary Mack, Mack, Mack. All dressed in Black, Black, Black..." we sang on with a new rhythm of clapping. At times I would get stuck on how the clapping went; cross chest, then clap together, then knees? knees then together? and my husband would chime in from the couch giving his two cents and of course reminding me that he NEVER played those games but, could remember his sisters doing it-um... yeah, uh huh I thought as he would join in for a few rounds with me, each time going faster and faster until we couldn't stop laughing.

We ALL laughed. We clapped, we sang, we messed up and laughed some more. Julius did is own version on the side, wearing his sisters cowboy boots, underpants and baseball cap, falling down writhing in laughter at the sight of Mom and Dad sitting cross legged on the floor singing, "Down Down Baby, Down, Down the roller coaster, Sweet, sweet baby I'll never let you go..."

It is funny how some things never change and how going back to your childhood, if even for a brief moment, can just take your breath away and take you back to simpler times. We were able to just forget who was winning the Indians game, what needed to be packed for the NY trip, messages to send, people to call and in that moment we only remembered the pure, honest fun of our childhood days, untarneshed from the adult world we know now. And how did we learn these things? Our sisters, our friends, parents, grandparents? Hopscotch, hula hoop, marbles, jax... from one generation to the next. And now it is our turn to pass it on...

And as I sent Genna off to bed, I smiled knowing that in the morning, when I would send her off on the school bus, she'll be sitting across from her own little girlfriend singing and clapping to a new "old" song.



Here's to the good times of the past, living in the present and walking into the future...

New Life

It's 7:51, Sunday morning, as my husband hands me the phone and in a foggy, sleepy haze I answer...

"Hello?"
"Hey Heath, it's me, Chris. Um, just wanted to let you know that I think to day is the day. I woke up with contractions and a soaked bed so we are heading off to the hospital soon...." and the conversation goes on...

Well! what a "good morning" wake up call that was. Finally, my sister was having her baby. I had put in a request for it to happen this weekend so why should I be so flustered and surprised!?!

Alright, time for my list...so I need to get the kids up, pack bags, load the car, get snacks for the trip, gas, shower, oh yeah, FEED the kids after I rip them from their sweet slumber-d'oh!!! Please, please let her wait until I get there!!! 5-6 hrs is all I need to get to NY, drop the kids and stuff off at Becky's and get to the hospital. Is that too much to ask?

Check, Check, Check, alright we're ready to go, kiss the husband-we are on our way! Some people say the trip is half the fun, HA! they don't have kids or a time crunch but, *sigh*, that is for another time :-/

I keep in contact with my family during the drive and tell them to call me after it is decided if Chrissy is staying and what the plan is. I pull into Becky's house with a screeching halt, get the stuff out of the car and the kids pulled from each other's throats to get them inside. The spilled drinks, cookie crumbs, drips of peanut butter and jelly from hastely made sandwiches, thrown crayons and the few drops of blood (ahem..) will have to be cleaned up later.

3:01pm
"Hello?"
"Hey Sweetie, It's Mom"
"Please tell me I'm not to late"
"No they just broke Chrissy's water the rest of the way, you better head out"
"I am SOOO there!"

4 something-who the hell knows what time it is at this point! All my Virgo-ness has flown out the window by this time...
I find my sister's room and walk in. There is my Mom, my oldest sister, Chrissy and her husband...
Have you ever seen a pregnant woman who just glows? Who just excudes all the beauty that is the creation of life? The round belly, the fresh face, the shining hair-that is what I saw when I walked into her room. It was calm and peaceful, exciting, the anticipation was thick. Any moment and we would have a new member of our family. Contactions were there, she was walking around, no montiors were even in her room. The nurse came in every once in a while to get a blood pressure and check the baby's heart rate with the hand-held dopler. Otherwise, nature was given a-go, and she let her body do the work. We joked about the women of the old days who squated hugging a tree while in labor, we talked about birth stories of the past and, how things had changed since my Mom had given birth to the five of us in the cold, unwelcoming hospitals of old. Wondering, in the end, what this story would be.

It touches my heart now as I think about it, a full circle, sisters helping sisters bring about the next generation. You could have transported us back in time to a castle and we would have been doing the same thing. It means so much to me to be there, to be apart of that experience and watch the miracle of birth happen before my eyes. I could do it over and over again.

6:03pm
Lily Christina is born after one long push. She is perfect, she is beautiful. 10 fingers, 10 toes, rosey and with a gentle cry. Some times life just hands you a breath of fresh air.

And I think my son said it best after I brought him to the hospital to see his new cousin,
"she smells like pink"

Yes. she does. And what peanut butter and jelly...

Genna's first offical belly dance costume and beyond

So it has happened, I let her pick out her first "real" costume-all on her own- to wear to the Qaina event we are going to. I was a little worried about her color choices but really they don't look that bad and they totally reflect her bright personality. She can't wait to go and I can't wait to go with her. I am so excited to share this first expereince with her. I figure even if we just sit back and watch the whole thing happen around us it will be worth every moment spent. I know we all grow up convinced that we will "do better" for our children than our parents did for us but, what I wouldn't give to have had moments like this with my own mom, at least I know in my heart of hearts I WILL do better and Genna will grow up loved, confident and so full of self esteem she'll burst (of course with a little humble pie on the side!). She'll grow up having experienced things a lot of kids won't have the opportunity to and she will grow up knowing that everyone is different and it should be celebrated. What a powerful woman she will be!

P.S. She has also announced that she would rather take belly dance lessons instead of trying ballet this summer (hint, hint to Leyla and Babette!). :-)