Crash, Bang Wollup!!!

My beloved, pride and joy Tyra the bus is ill!! Around lunch time today there was an accident on my road and unfortunately she got hit while being parked in my drive. Thankfully no one was hurt but I'm pissed off. Saved for hell of a long time for her, searched for her for 8 months (she's not a typical caravelle) for some one to come along and write her off :0( Many four letter words were used, some of which I'm quite ashamed of, some on the other hand were quite inventive!!

She also got pushed into the front of my house, not much damage to the house, old stone walls are great for warding off unwanted vehicle attacks!! My kids were in the living room and the poor things had one hell of a fright. The policeman that came was a bit of a........how can I say this...............door knob ;-) Insisted that it was the young boy that was driving the vehicles fault when in fact it was a neighbour across the road that pulled out in front of him, justice hey!!

I know that I shouldn't be this upset, it's such a small set back in the bigger picture of life, but I am!

Was supposed to be going to a show next weekend, I'll still go, all our other 'camper van' friends have offered to take all my hoops up, we've even had a friend offer us his other van, still can't believe how great people can be. Got to now wait until Monday to find out what is happening with it, my nails have gone....bitten off!

Not looking forward to haggling with the insurance companies, with specialist vehicles they never understand how hard they are to come across and why they are more expensive, I'll leave that part to my husband, he could bore an anorak to sleep with his knowledge of camper vans;-)

TTFN Hopefully next time I write a blog it'll be a happier one xxx

Feeling Positive

I can't believe how many of you responded to my last blog. I would like to thank you all for your continuing support and advice. I knew that I had made some really special friends here on tribe but I didn't realise how much all your words affect me and my state of mind......thank you x

I'm more positive and feeling great. My husband, Alister, came home last night and was very supportive and even understood my words in between the sobs, I needed the release and support from him and once again he delivered. I love you Ali more than any words can ever say xxxxx

So, I've gotton a bit busy today and have started doing some ringing around and some organising and things are looking good. Have arranged to attend a few events, trying to organise my web site, business cards and I'm even going to contact some nightclubs in the area. Just about to leave and go and get some more hoop materials, got some great ideas for new hoops so I'm also going to look into that. In the middle of designing my new logo (wish me luck, find it easy to draw but transferring that onto a computer is another thing!).

Pushing all the self doubt and negative energy away, making everything positive, not going to be ashamed of my talents any more, going to learn to take praise with my head held high and make more time for ME ;0)

Back to reality :0(

Well its back to earth with a bump! Been on the HoopGirl level one training and had a blast. Met the most amazing, talented, friendly, warm people. There was such a great atmosphere and buzz, none of the usual bitchy backstabbing you usually get when you herd a bunch of women together in the same room (oh, and one man of course John aka HoopGuy). Kitty has the most amazing way of making you feel welcome, a complete mother hen but in a warm, uplifting way. Tola, the talented Tola, a realist, fantastic to talk to and listen to and has the most brilliant outlook on life. Gemma, wow, from poi to stilt walking to hooping, is there anything this woman can not do? Her energy is so uplifting. Sue, our tape woman (fancy-tapes.co.uk), you can tell she loves the theatre, give this woman a place on the stage, what a commanding voice. Michelle and Tamara, the mother and daughter team, and they are a team ;-) There were so many others that I can't possible mention them all. They were all great and all had an impact on my life and I will never forget them xxx

So, I left this course, sad and happy. Sad because I didn't want to leave these new found friends and happy for having had the opportunity to of met them, happy to get home and see my beautiful girls whom I have never ever left and been away from.

Got to the Severn Bridge and guess what happened..................Yep, rain! Well they don't call it the green, green grass of home for nothing!

The reality of getting back to normal was starting to kick in. The constant early mornings and late nights, the cooking cleaning ironing, the running around after my very messy but very adorable kids, hubby, dog, cat, rabbit! Trying to fit anything for me into this schedule is not very often possible and to be honest, I'm pissed off with it all. I need to have some more ME time, I have talents in other areas that I'm just itching to explore, people to meet that will change my outlook and opinions on life, a business that I know I can make successful with enough time and effort put into it. Pulling my hair out and trying to look for the positives and not the negatives but finding it hard. Trying to find a way of fitting everything together but keep on bumping into that old brick wall that we all seem to come up against from time to time. But do you know what, I'm gonna get over that sodding wall if its the last thing I do, not only am I gonna get over it, I'm gonna take it down piece by bloody piece and build it into a shed to put my hoops in ;-)

Life is so much easier when your head is screwed on!

I've been panicking and worrying over so many things lately, my dog Dolly who is having an operation tomorrow to remove a tumour, my kids, the hoop girl level one, starting a hooping class, the house, my friends, money and quite honestly I've let it all get to me. No more!!! It's time to give myself a kick up the jacksie, screw my head back onto its usual position, face up to life and just get on with it! I know everything will be fine especially when I have such great friends to support me and in turn let me support them. Dolly will be fine, I don't know how I know this, I just do. Can't wait to meet other hoopers and finally meet some of the people I see on here, as for the hooping class, if I can teach the little peeps I'm sure I can teach the bigguns! Everything else will fall into place, it always does x

My Dispaire

I'm all booked in for the level one and I have so many mixed emotions, I'm excited, I'll be meeting new people and going somewhere that I have never been to, I'm nervous, still thinking that I won't be good enough and that I'm going to make a fool out of myself or I'll end up getting lost on the way and won't get there at all! I'm jealous, jealous of how many of you are going on the level two, jealous because I don't have anyone to show me new moves and I find it difficult to learn new things off the computer screen, jealous because in my heart of hearts I know I'm not good enough to attend it, does this make me a bad person? I don't mean to be and I'm frustrated with myself for having all these mixed up emotions, I'm usually so level headed, focused,organised and this seems to be going out of the window and running off down the street, giving me the finger as it disappears around the corner!! I'm stuck in a box and need the lid to be lifted but know that I have to break my own way out of it, I'm not going to let this beet me.