It's amazing to realize that I am capable of feeling so many different emotions simultaneously, and all centered around the same thing: the Hoop Path! Right now, I am exhausted from hooping at three intense Hoop Path workshops in three days (suffice it to say that hooping ten hours in three days is not the norm for me), blissed out from the wonderful feeling of community and love I felt in these workshops, motivated to hoop even more, happy that I had some breakthroughs, frustrated that I wasn't in flow tonight, happy that I got to see Bax, Ann, and several out of town hoopers, sad that they are all leaving, excited about going to North Carolina for the retreat, hungry to learn more, etc.

I encountered the Hoop Path at the perfect time - I'd been slacking off on my hooping for a multitude of reasons (no space to hoop at home, too cold/rainy/muddy at the park, dark by the time I left work, tired after work) and I'd really hit a plateau in terms of my skill level and my motivation. When I saw that Bax was coming to teach some workshops, I signed up knowing almost nothing about the Hoop Path or Baxter's philosophy. The little I knew was from watching some youtube videos, but I think it's a great idea to take classes from as many different people as possible. Since he was coming to SF, it seemed silly not to go. I had no idea what he was going to teach, so I went in with almost no expectations of what I thought the class would be like.

As soon as I walked into the room, I saw some amazing hoopers - Christabel, Revolva, kahunahula, and so many others who I recognized. There were a few people who I didn't recognize immediately, but as I watched them warm up I became even more intimidated. I later learned that two of these dynamos were Beth and Ann. I was so overwhelmed by the talented assembly of hoopers that I almost turned around and left. I told myself that was silly. I'd already paid, so I decided that I could just lurk in the back and watch everyone else hoop. I pictured myself sitting on the floor with my mouth wide open like a little kid, totally in awe of everyone else.

Bax, ever the psychic, ruined my plan by having us hoop blindfolded. At first I was disappointed because this meant I wouldn't be able to watch everyone else hoop and enjoy all of their fabulousness. It wasn't until I put the blindfold on that I realized what a gift blind hooping is. Instead of being intimidated by all of the advanced hoopers in the room, I was able to relax because I knew that no one else could see me. Something deep inside me was unlocked on that day. I was able to stop being so self conscious. Instead of feeling awkward, I felt free. Because I felt free, I became free.

After two workshops, I realized that I had hooped more in two days than I had hooped in the previous two MONTHS. Bax told us that he hooped about three hours a day, which made me realize that I had to start logging some serious flight time if I didn't want to wallow in complacency.

By the time Bax left SF, I was looking up flights to see if I could get to his LA workshops. While I was checking flight prices, I decided to see how much it would cost to fly to Carrboro. When I realized that I could get a decently priced ticket if I bought far enough in advance, I decided to go to Carrboro. I emailed Bax to tell him that I wanted to come study with him in North Carolina. Luckily he said they were already planning a retreat, so I waited patiently (and by patiently, I mean that I checked tribe and my email obsessively in the hopes of hearing news of the retreat).

The retreat was everything I'd hoped for and more. Not only did I have the opportunity to immerse myself into Baxter's teachings, but I found a warm, inclusive hoop community that welcomed us with kindness. Beth, one of the first Hoop Pathers I met, had told me that if I ever wanted to come to North Carolina, I could stay with her. The fact that she told me this right after I met her was the first sign of her unending generosity. I was fortunate enough to stay with her wonderful family, and she made me feel right at home. The other Hoop Pathers were equally selfless. Mary heard Khan and me discussing our yearning for North Carolina barbeque, so she brought us some that very night. Bonnie chauffeured me from Bax and Ann's, so we got to share our love of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Robbie brought dear Barney to the Weave, so I was able to get a little doggie love (I have pet envy because I don't have a dog). I could spend the next hour listing every nice thing that each HPer did while I was there, but for the sake of being efficient I will summarize by saying that every single person I met at the retreat was genuine, sincere, and so nice.

In terms of hooping, Bax pushed me further during the retreat. As a teacher, he has an uncanny ability to make me feel like I'm the only student in the room. There is no hiding in his class. I feel as though he is speaking directly to me, not just about hooping, but about life and what's going on inside me, whether it's about creating personal boundaries, loving myself, or embracing my badasssedness.

This weekend was the third time that I have taken part in Baxter's workshops, and each time that I am fortunate enough to take his classes, I feel this same mixture of emotions. Watching him, Ann, and the other participants hoop is always so inspiring. They show me endless possibilities of what can be done, things I would never think to do on my own. Bax seems to create a little hoop community wherever he goes. Even though his delicate southern disposition felt the chill of San Francisco's wind this weekend, I felt like I had a warm blanket of love wrapped around me because of all the incredibly friendly, supportive hoopers who surrounded me.

At the end of the retreat, Bax said that he'd been afraid that Khan and I would be bored because we'd been to his workshops before. I found the opposite to be true - I always learn more from each workshop. The first time around, I was just trying to pay attention and keep up. The second time, there were a lot of, "Aha, yes, I remember this!" moments where my body and mind clicked back into those memories. The third time, I found myself sinking into the movements more easily and not thinking about the mechanics as much. There is still so much to learn and I want to absorb it all!

Part of the Hoop Path teaching is that belief is the first phase. First there is the belief that something can be done at all. Next is the belief that you can do it. One of the great things about Bax is that he makes me feel that he believes I can do it. I guess that's phase 1.5 between believing it's physically possible and believing that I am capable of doing it. It's amazing how much confidence I gain from knowing that someone believes in me.

Tonight we talked about how teaching is about sharing energy. I feel so blessed to share energy with Bax, Ann, and the other students. Just a few short hours revitalized me, uplifted me, and breathed more life into my hoop practice. It's a beautiful thing!

If anyone has read this far (and yes, I know that I can be quite loquacious), thank you for letting me share my cyber energy with you!

ETA: I took this picture last summer and for some reason, I remembered (incorrectly) that there were two birds in the picture. I'm going to pretend that the other one is just out of frame :D