Am around...

life has been busy, wild, boring, interesting, and just going along.

Once I can get some thing settled down then I can move forward on those things I "want" to do and get back on a personal track again.

*crossing fingers*

YAY

Putting it right out there...

I am not sure ya truly know the latest or not...memory is getting full.

First, I am no longer with Skin Deep, and I am no longer going to actively dance in the belly dance community. I will dance if special requests, but I am not joining any troupes or seek out solo gigs. I am going to move to Latin Dance. A passion I have had since childhood.

Second...I am unemployed again...grumble.

Frick can't seem to win for losing LOL but guess something new and better is out there on the horizon for me. Cause all my past is being stripped from me...keeping a hopeful eye open now.

Lemons = Lemonade
I have sugar in hand and friends there to help me squeeze them. YAYAYAYAY!

thank you...follow up

I am alright, I am positive, I am moving forward, I have wonderful friends (as I see here too!!!) that support me. It doesn't lessen what I feel in the knee jerk realm but...it seems to be the final puzzle piece to a complete change in my life.
Reborn as someone special said...no distractions from my past to get me where I am supposed to be and who I am...who I "really" am. While saddened at this passing or change...I am excited at what is to come.

short...sweet...

I am hurt, pissed, and done.

A simpier ride tonight LOL

I am going to California in a week...YAYAYAYAY very near the Fatchance Mecca *giggles*.

I have a new job, and training will be at the San Leandro office for a week. A chance to get in a class at Fatchance and go hiking in a 510 acre park has me stoked above and beyond the training I will be getting. Now, I have to figure out how to get work clothes, hiking clothes and dance clothes in a one bag for a week LOL...hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm maybe my backpack will be better served than I though LOL...

Planning and coordinating is happening...ROCK ON!

Life...

changes and changes and changes and changes again. Hope dies last, and even in death there is beauty and transformation.

Hope has not died. The gut knows it has not ended, but it is done for now until some healing comes forth..that will take time. A death of sorts that future beauty will find its way out and make that which is supposed to be...stronger.

If not, then the judgement on from these eyes were far too skewed and wrong about that her soul and heart felt all these years. The internal glow that both shared has faded and all but burned out, but embers still glow. Those that tend this soul will be stoked again to burn brightly and strongly...overshadowing all that seems wonderful in the shadows.

The shadows that suck the life out of the pillar of personal growth and ancientness the likes I have never seen before. Ancestory, genes and more are our ties but more even yet even if only in an intense friendships that are bound together for eternity for they have been together before.

The souls are hooked into one another for a reason...but maybe it is time to unhook and burn brightly all on this souls own.

Internal soulful glowing again needs to emerge forth as it once did...driven, ambitious, and motivated by the encouragements of the matching soul piece. Maybe not a complete soul match but there is a connective piece that binds them together for eternity, hopefully a good connection will return not the destructive one that found its way because of the darkness that overshadowed the glows and destroyed many in its pathway.

Careful trekking to the glowing ways as to not disturb the shadow from its path, a path that will be avoided while seeking out the matching connection when it is time to do so again.

They say only the shadow knows. Maybe more truth than poetry but not in the good and positive ways in life. Not when lives are destroyed in order to gain what the shadow is determined to have and will destroy what may appear to lay in the pathway.

Fear for the goal, but the goal has to take care of themself...this one will be there when the time comes when am being sought out.
Whenever that may be or however long that may be...for I believe in that person to the depth of my being because the gut was not wrong...never was, just sad to see the successes of the shadows skills and means. A very dangerous and soul sucking shadow. Until they consume their next victim...praying that the soul is not sucked from that which is my focus in eternity soul connections.

Thanks...

I know I just did a post, and I saw all the comments and thank you!!!
I just realized that maybe it was inappropriate to spout quite so, cause there are too many people on my friends list that I don't know. I wish that I had options to include only those that "know" me for real.
So, with that as you can see the post is gone...and it accomplished what I needed...to vent for a moment. :)
I am fine, and grounded and honestly the solar gift that I received the other day is still with me....and it seems to be coming to fruition.
So, I need to wallow in sunshiny stuff not this other stuff. :)
YAY

Superfantabulous day...really!!! (reposted)

Current mood: accomplished

My spirit is lifted, the burdens of the last bit of drama that unfolded out of no where (and for no reason) literally set my soul free inside. I feel literally whole and shiny again...wow.

I don't know what the future is going to hold, I still do what I am supposed to, and I guess it will all show itself when it is time. But let it be known, some things showed themselves to me today when I didn't even ask to see....wow. LOL

I was given an absolutely beautiful gift today before I arrived back home...

A rainbow (and there was no rain or rain clouds at all today) that surrounded the sun, I was taken aback by seeing it and immediately knew it was for me...whoa!

I already felt grand, but that was the pi este résistance for the day.

I got up with a silly headache caused from sleeping with my head in a crooked position I guess, but soon it was gone, and off to swimming...yep I said swimming!!! 1000 yds of laps in about 45 minutes...no hurry just wanted to get a good swim in as I hadn't gotten into a pool in forever it seems...a fish to water LOL. And...And...And...this was the first time since I was 2 years old that I had on a two piece suit...OMG!!!!! And I even felt comfy in it in public LOLOLOL.

Afterwards, I was off to a hike with my pack...4 miles round trip with quite the carrot at the top. :) 1175 elevation gain in 2 miles (not the 1800 in a 1.5) but that was perfectly fine with me...new scenery and trail and such. Loved it, going back and going to add the next leg to the hike the next time...YAY!!!

On the way out I saw my best friend...we quietly hung out for a short, and I got a long overdue hug from her...YAYAYAYAY!!!

Headed home...ate some fries cause hell I had earned them today LOL and came upon my solar gift, it was gorgeous and it just further showed me that my world is going to be bright and light again!!!!

Not soul sucking. It even told me that all is not as it seems either.

I am smiling, my body feels great, and I have such a sense of personal accomplishment, I literally am bouncing off my own walls. :) Thank gawd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It is about f**king time too!!!!

Anyway, more smiles to come. Stay tuned...same bat channel, same bat time.