Rey is one of the funniest people in the world in the 15 minutes between when he starts getting loaded and when he can't form coherent sentences anymore. Treasure that time.

one heck of an ottoman.

Rey writes horrible Tribe testimonials, totally rife with filth. If you turn your back for even one second he will totally snarf your Chee-tos. Nonetheless, I still like the little bastard - he's just hungry and has a really dirty mouth.

Rey has always been nice to me and treated me like a friend since the first day I met him. He is creative, funny, and genuinely caring, and I guess he must be really modest too 'cause of all the work he does to hide these traits ;-) ... a hell of a character, he's worth getting to know.

Just to set the record straight. It was not rape! It was completely consentual sex. I even have the signed release form to prove it. Not that anyone would like to see that magic, but podcasts will be made available upon request... and $50.

Rey de su Propio Mundo...Is truly that. I've spent the last 17 years in Rey's presence and am continually amazed and delighted by him. He tells a damn good story, cooks an amazing linguine with clams, is funny as hell and generally a good human bean. I love him dearly.

My own private spiderkiller. Without you, I would never brave the overgrown shrubs that take hold of our home. THank you for helping me and not mocking me for irrational fear of something not even the size of my big toe.

One might think that I would be jealous of my boyfriend’s platonic life monkey.
But, I’m not.
One also might say, because I am such a whore for talent, that it must be hard to keep my hands off of Ray.
But, its not.
One might suppose Ray's imaginative intellect would rend me speechless.
But, it doesn’t.
One might imagine that I would be drawn to his bottomless abyss of good humor and his sense there of.
But, I’m not.
One might presume that I would let my heart go all aflutter when he comes around (like all of his other faire minions)
But, I won't
One might reason to believe that I actually like Ray.
And I DO!!!
You don’t fool me. Love you hunny. xoxoxxx.

Okay, to avoid my doing any actual work today, I’ve decided to write a little something about my friend Reymundo “no shoes” Zegri.
I’ve known this guy for quite a while, over 11 years or something crazy like that. Wow, makes me feel old except Rey will always be older than me so, HA! Everyone has heard the rumors but it’s true. He was a longhaired stoner hippie who wore glasses and would die if anyone ever forced him to wear a pair of slacks. He was much more partial to t-shirts and flannels back then and now I think I would keel over dead to see him wear a pair of jeans. Though he was always a ham, he hated the Renaissance Faire because it took too much time away from the NFL season and much preferred to skip it. Well, a lot has changed.
Doesn’t matter though because on the inside, he’s still the same distracted, fidgety guy who you want to hug one second and give him a swift kick in the ass the next. People can and do change but mostly, they stay just who they are. I like it that way in that at least I know what to expect. The great thing is regardless of whether you want to kill him or love him, he really is a good friend with a good heart who rarely if ever does anything to be malicious, only perhaps to be a bit mischievous.
The coolest part about this friendship is that it has only gotten better as we’ve gotten older. My son calls him “Uncle Wey” and Rey shows him such patience and love, it does my heart good. I love hanging out with this guy because we always have such a great time. He is the type of friend where we can have total silence but it’s never awkward. Part of me thinks he only hangs out with me because he refuses to get a drivers license and I'm dumb enough to drive him around. Conversely, the only reason I hang out with him is because when we go to the bar, he plays my wingman. ☺ You didn’t know girls needed a wingman, did you?
He cracks my shit up and when I’m around him, I feel funny and clever by association. The truth is I actually am the funnier one but I let him think otherwise. I know how sensitive the male ego can be. He’s my brother, I love him lots and I look forward to all the wonderfully crazy years we have ahead of us.

Contrary to what yall may think, I actually love Rey.

That doesn't mean, of course, that I don't want to kill him w/a blow to the head sometimes. But even when those times happen, he'll give me that damn puppy-face and really, who would kill a puppy? That's just Manson-like, and no one we hang out w/is that cruel. So Rey lives, essentially.

If you're around Rey and I for more than a minute or two, you'll notice me taking cheap shots at him a lot. That's because Rey (like Misha) wears a neon, purple-outlined sign over his head and it says "Fuck w/me, Tygre! Please!" None of you can see it; it's invisible to everyone else except me. But it's there, trust me.

And still, I love him. He really is a very loyal friend. Loyalty means a great deal to me. He's stuck up for me and been in my corner way more than a few times. That, to me, is worth gold. So I guess in turn, to me, Rey is worth gold.

I'll never forget the day Ray threw himself on a live 14 year old to save my life.

I'll never forget that sacrifice.

What an antithetical mind! - tenderness, roughness - delicacy, coarseness - sentiment, sensuality - soaring and groveling, dirt and deity - all mixed up in that one compound of inspired clay!

...okay, i stole it from Lord Byron--but it's a theft from the heart.

Rey,
What can be said, that always been said. Rey is friend who look to see if everyone is having a good time. He is always there to talk too and he always with a quick joke and offer to drink. Rey is like a brother ( which offically have 4 already.) but we are connected in that way. He treats everyone love and life.

Rey Man- who are greatest and world is a better place because you are here.

rico

Ray and I have a special relationship. Special in that we both rode the short bus to school, promptly avoided first period to smoke out in the bathroom, had 3 girls pregnant by 3rd period and were found wandering in the forest on 6 hits of L by lunch babbling about alien abduction. Perhaps we were in different states but we were together in spirit.
There are people in this world who make an adamant point of telling us what NOT to do. By this action they are making a big mistake. Let’s put it this way... Ray and I would forever be fine with walking on the sidewalk... But someone had to post those DAMN KEEP OFF THE GRASS signs and lo and behold we suddenly felt like a stroll in the field. It is our nature and that's the way it is. This dude rocks more then I can bare witness... Love ya dude... Until the next taboo my friend!!

-Travis (Evil AND Drawn That Way)

Mind your business, asshole. I'll suck whatever balls I choose. I take back everything I said I didn't mean about you. You lameo.

rey is one of those people i feel blessed to have come across not only once in eternity but even better than that, in my lifetime. half the things that tumble out of my brain when he is around make more sense than they probably should and twice as many of those should probably scare the bejeezus out of me. but somehow it all works out......

he not only understands but appreciates my enthusiasm for things like stalking paul bocuse, cute grrls, sharp knives and beer before 10 a.m.

its probably a good thing we live 400 miles apart. this much genius for mischief combined, while fun, i fear would ultimately reopen the 6th dimension........or some other such calamity. rice crispie thunderstorms.......or a renewed global zeal for jazzercise............and i just don't know if i could deal with that again ;]

but really it all comes down to one word with rey. passion.

*n

It's Rey!! He's like the coolest guy I know, and I'm not just saying that cause he's like an older (prettier) version of me:) He's a great performer both on and off stage. Rey is one of those people I can always rely on to bring cheer where ever he goes.

One day George C. Scott's long-lost Oscar was dropped on the floor of a pawn shop, cracked in half and Rey popped out. Just like daddy Oscar he has a Face-O-Rubber, no fear, and a Jumbo Weenie with Relish. Whoops, that slipped out. If Rey is your friend, count yourself lucky, mudderpucky, and give him a big sticky hug and try to absorb some of his genius.

Rey is the bomb. Funny as all shit.

He appreciates it when a man is willing to do hard work for him. He's very appreciative.

REy took my lunch money and then just laughed at me....LAUGHED!!!

Apparently, Rey's been feeling unloved recently, so he's soliciting testimonials. That's okay, because I'm feeling uncreative and shall oblige as simply as I know how:

I've known Rey for like 10 years, but it seems like a lot longer. He's like the kid brother I never got a chance to beat up in my childhood. I do miss the days when we would toss aside our glasses and just throw down. Until we were bloody and bruised and nearly concussed. I never knew a dude so willing to get his ass kicked over and over again by a girl. I doubt he knows it, but he helped me work out some seriously pent-up aggression, and gave me some much-needed human contact
at a time when it was in short supply. Oh, and he's talented and fun, too. Bla bla bla. But he's most useful when you're kicking his ass. ;-)

Reymundo has been a great find in my life. Misha introduced him to me as his hetero-life mate which told me something right off the bat. Since then he has totally lived up to my expectations as one of the more funny, witty, spastic, crude, disgusting, people I have ever met. He’s dirty and he has no censor mode. Anytime I feel like I’m pushing the envelope all I have to do is look to Rey and know that I can never go too far—he’ll do it for me. To Illustrate; he once told me “in order to truly know me, you must first sleep in my bed”. At first I thought it was a come on but then-- after he partook in many, many glasses of some concoction of gin and some tasty beverage and he was distracted playing the gory version of Mortal Kombat, I found myself clandestinely making my way to his bedroom and I knew that he spoke the truth. His mattress is as soft and lumpy as a newborn baby’s head, his pillow beaten and twisted with little splotches of make-up and spittle from either many, many sordid trysts or a long drunken night in drag. His blankets a colorful wadded mess at the foot of a fitted sheet that if- bathed in a black light would make any seasoned CSI back slowly away. I know this allegory speaks to many of you, I know I was enlightened that day. I also know that though I have not actually slept in his bed, I have visited and seen much, and will never truly know him. For that I am grateful.
I dig you Rey, I hope you stick around in my life for a long time to come.

One of the leading political figures and revolutionary thinkers of the 20th century, Zegri masterminded the Bolshevik take-over of power in Zegra in 1917 and was the architect and first head of the state. He posthumously gave name to the Marxist-Zegriist ideology, but by the death of the communist system in 1991, his legacy was largely discredited.
Mundo Kabir grew up in a well educated family in provincial Zegra. He excelled at school and went on to study law. At university, he was exposed to radical thinking, and his views were also influenced by the execution of his elder brother, a member of a revolutionary group.
Expelled from university for his radical policies, he moved to St Petersburg and became a professional revolutionary. Like many of his contemporaries, Zegri was arrested and exiled to the East Bay, where he married Nadezhda Krupskaya. The real love of his life, however, was Inessa Armand, whose death in 1920 left him distraught.
After his Siberian exile, Zegri - the pseudonym he adopted in 1901 - spent most of the subsequent decade and a half in Western Europe, where he emerged as a prominent figure in the international revolutionary movement and became the leader of the 'Bolshevik' faction of the Zegran Social Democratic Worker's Party. He eventually led what was soon to be known as the Octoberfest Revolution, but was effectively a coup d'etat.
Almost three years of civil war followed. During this period of revolution, war and famine, Zegri demonstrated a chilling disregard for the sufferings of his fellow countrymen. In his merciless destruction of any opposition, he was instrumental in creating the conditions for Frenklak’s dictatorship.
On a personal level, Zegri was a modest man and disapproved of adulation. But after his death, he became the subject of a personality cult of grotesque proportions. Zegri's embalmed corpse remains a toursit attraction, a symbol of a political ideology and system which ultimately failed miserably.

If you don't believe that Rey is a whore, just
look at how many "friends" he has. One who
feels okay claiming so many transparent
aquaintances as actual friends is
disheartening. I mean it really makes you feel
sorry for him. He is emotionally vacant and the
antithesis of what you would call a "nice" guy,
but Goddamn! The man is funny! There are
many things that I respect Rey for, despite his
enormous personal shortcomings. He has
great understanding. He understands the
power of gin and is not afraid to use that
power. He understands the power of comedy
and the ultimate reason that can come from
only that medium. When we get together, I feel
better about myself. Not just because I can buy
porn in the bar bathrooms which we frequent,
but because I am under the illusion that
something has actually been accomplished. He
is one of the few people that you run into that
you feel has a certain destiny. There's
something to this guy. I look forward to
working with him. And less than that, I look
forward to drinking with him. The whore.

Rey cannot be described. He can only be experienced. But, for the sake of this testimonial, I'll try.

Rey walks to the liquor store shoeless and gets expedient service. He cannot drive, but if he did, you can bet it would be a soul-quaking experience. Rey removes ring-ding residue by swishing Beam. He says "Uhh" a lot. He cannot spell and is a sliver above illiteracy. He is unabashed in his fridge piracy and unashamed in his hatred of things small and toothy. He is best low-lit and is better extinguished. He is superficial underneath his pond-scum personality. He counts on his fingers. The most he can hope for as far as an emotional relationship is concerned is getting a stray punch courtside in a female boxing tournament. Rey is funny, though, which makes him redeemable. The man can make you laugh, which is, if you know him, an unclean feeling. There is more than potential in him. There is an elevated sickness of wonder. He is bound for something so wrong it's right.

I'm glad I'm along for the ride. Maybe he'll let me drive.

I would like to take this opportunity to Let you know how much I admire and respect Rey! The man the myth the legend!

Not only is he remarkably attractive (so much so that I have been continually forced to question my own sexuality) but he also possesses a mind that is nothing short of a marvel!

I know I am intelligent, well read, educated, and wise in my way, and for most of my life I felt I was at or near the top of the intellectual heap so to speak. Then I met Rey …what a humbling experience.

I for one have decided to dedicate my life to studying under this Master. I have quit my job, and sold my house to help fund the Church of Rey. I now ask all of you to join me in selling your positions, and devote your meager lives to what very well may be the second coming of Christ himself.

Thank you are for reading this.

Humbly yours T-Rey

Rey has harassed me since I was a little girl. Then, when I was about 12 he became my first crush... ahh... Rey... That phase of my life was short lived. In fact it was so short I forgot about it (not something I'm proud of). Now 16 years later, I'm amazed at the man Rey has grown into (although he still doesn't know how to drive). He is charismatic, creative and most of all a loving father. I'm honored to call him my brother. I would also like to take this time to thank Rey for appreciating all of my sarcatic remarks towards him and others over the years. Love You, Rey.

Who knew when I met him those many years ago that I would find the friend and cohort that I have. He is the Abbott to my Costello, the Martin to my Lewis, the Hyde to my Jekyll. He is a fantastic performer and an even more fantastic writer. I definitely would not be where I am, where we are, without his motivation, his charisma, and his talent. Sure, sometimes he makes the occasional off-color joke that makes my head spin around al la the exorcist, but that is part of his charm. He is my best friend and we have told each other things that would get us kicked out of civilized society, hell, it would have gotten us kicked out of San Quentin. But at the heart of it, he is a good, decent, upstanding man that I trust with my first love, theater.

The Zegri's Bride
By: Author Unknown

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Of all the blood of Zegri, the chief is Lisaro,
To wield rejon like him is none, or javelin to throw;
From the place of his dominion, he ere the dawn doth go,
From Alcala de Henares, he rides in weed of woe.

He rides not now as he was wont, when ye have seen him speed
To the field of gay Toledo, to fling his lusty reed;
No gambeson of silk is on, nor rich embroidery
Of gold-wrought robe or turban---nor jeweled tahali.

No amethyst nor garnet is shining on his brow,
No crimson sleeve, which damsels weave at Tunis, decks him now;
The belt is black, the hilt is dim, but the sheathed blade is bright;
They have housened his barb in a murky garb, but yet her hoofs are light.

Four horsemen good, of the Zegri blood, with Lisaro go out;
No flashing spear may tell them near, but yet their shafts are stout;
In darkness and in swiftness rides every armed knight---
The foam on the rein ye may see it plain, but nothing else is white.

Young Lisaro, as on they go, his bonnet doffeth he,
Between its folds a sprig it holds of a dark and glossy tree;
That sprig of bay, were it away, right heavy heart had he---
Fair Zayda to her Zegri gave that token privily.

And ever as they rode, he looked upon his lady's boon.
"God knows," quoth he, "what fate may be---I may be slaughtered soon;
Thou still art mine, though scarce the sign of hope that bloomed whilere,
But in my grave I yet shall have my Zayda's token dear."

Young Lisaro was musing so, when onward on the path,
He well could see them riding slow; then pricked he in his wrath.
The raging sire, the kinsmen of Zayda's hateful house,
Fought well that day, yet in the fray the Zegri won his spouse.

i like to poop on his floor...i think its the smell of feet that get my bowels moving.

Rey ROCKS in every sense of the word - too bad he can't sing. ;)

If you look up the word “charm” in the dictionary, Rey’s picture will be there. Rey is not only charming as all get out, but talented, funny, and an all around great guy. He’s a decent, giving & kind soul – no matter what everyone says. ;) I’m look forward to sharing the stage with Rey, but most of all I’m proud to call Rey my friend.