Male

30

The beloved About Me section of a Social Networking site. Here's where I tell you all the badass things about me that will impress you. I'll say it with nonchalance and a self-deprecating humor so smooth it'll never reveal the underlying egotism--as though About Me sections weren't inherently-skewed self promotion.

I agree completely.
That is so interesting.
I never thought of it that way; please go on.

Then I'll drop a few key words and you'll hop in your chair, clapping quitely, thinking "YES! That's it exactly!" We identify. We eschew conformity in the usual way.

Down with Nike, go Sketchers.
Right. Sure thing.

Red is the new Black;
But only if it has a texture.

Sincerity is better than truth;
Tangents protect us from both.

Finally I'll include something open, leaving me vulnerable. I'll warn you ahead of time and yet you'll still find it touching. Intriguing. You'll want to comment, console, reply in kind. Validate me. Validate ME.

Fall for the ploy: Say hello.