Ramblings of a Cosmic Funny Indian

Give a dog a bone

indiancomedian — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 01:56:08 GMT

and he eats for a day. But take him to the cemetry and he brings back your grandpa. Your grandpa not mine. We cremate ours. Hindus - we are serious about recycling - even our dead. President Bush today said that India and China aren't doing enough to reduce pollution. If you really want to reduce pollution and create more resources - recycle the dead. What do they care ? They are dead ! Tapandy

Grace Uma Trivedi - a giggle worth of observations

indiancomedian — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 07:37:27 GMT

She is TALL. She is a tall tall girl. She is an inch taller than a girl a year older than her and her mom thought SHE was tall. My mom told me that 'to protect her from the evil eye' tell people that she is three (she is not even two yet) . Mandy injected the voice of reason by saying that 'if we do that then people will think she is a slow learner which she is not'. She is a puzzle solver and has the patience that she can only get from her mom's side. She is constantly finding all the snaps of the stroller and snapping them into place. She takes the water bottles , her sippy cups - anything that can be twisted and closed shut and does those herself often with the patience and an attention span rarely seen in her daddy. I guess that is the same gene that makes her mom solve Sudoku - for fun! She is a cautious adventurer. She walks carefully at the fort at McKinley park but isn't afraid to go down the slide in various positions once she has tried them. Yes, even when there is a kid at the other end. Yes, even when she knows the other end has spilled water. The water that she spilled. She loves to be naked. She takes off her clothes every opportunity she gets. THen tries to put them on all at the same time. Often we will see her putting on two shorts and a shirt at the same time. All on the bottom. She is mostly toilet trained. This is perhaps Mandy's great achievement. My little girl is capable of telling us she wants to go pee pee.Get her potty, take her bottoms off , do her thing and if it is no .2 = call us. And then empty her little potty in the toilet and flush. Its funny how she claps after the flush. The positive reinforcement thing totally works .It works a bit too well actually in the sense that we do it even when she isn't around. Nothing like flushing the toilet and going 'YAAAAAAY' and clapping as a grown man. In an airport bathroom. She is so so so loving. She gives me a flying kiss every time I leave the house and a kiss every time I come back. The rest of the time that she is around me she keeps on kissing my cheeks even when I haven't shaved. She has a fascination with keys and keeps on asking for my keys which she recognizes so I can't fool her by giving fake keys. She is a good jumper. She has her little trampoline which she jumps on while I jump on mine to lymphasize. I count about 100 to 150 jumps and am DONE. She is still going. Enuff for today. More later.... Tapandy

Does 'the Secret' work ?

indiancomedian — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 21:31:06 GMT

So here goes. After years of being Mr.Sarcastic I read the Secret and decided to give it a shot. Truly truly give it a shot. Make changes from inside and such. Truly getting the cobwebs off the soul and being grateful and acknowledging my own past successes rather than putting them down graciously as I did before etc. Also giving was a huge part of it. Just giving - not sacrificing . The difference being one feels good and one dosen't. Being plagued with survivors guilt its tough to acknowledge that good things do come to you but ever the pragmatist (read pessimist) I decided to put this to test. I wouldn't take anything for nothing even from the universe so I decided to do one good thing and then set an intention to get something BIG back in my life. Here is the story. I worked with Russell Peters - the quintessential South Asian comic from April 24th to 27th. Russell being the generous guy he is gave me a bonus paycheck. I took it but I wanted to give it back to him . What do you give a guy who has everything ? So I did this with the money on May 21st. http://people.tribe.net/indiancomedian/blog/cb4998f6-1972-4e75-b55d-cc3e0f51f0d8 Mandy also totally agreed so it was not causing anyone any pain. Nothing happened for about a week. But on May 28th I got a phone call from Comedy Central that a sweepstakes that I had entered (honestly I don't even know when ?) had come true for me. I won the A 1 in 80,000 chance and it came true for me. I won a new Kia Spectra. The cool thing is I had been wanting a car for the CoExist ? Comedy Tour so that we can actually travel and now we do. How great is that ? So remove the doubts from your mind and let go of the negativity and charge forward with whatever you want . This thing actually works. My spiritual investment was given back to me 280 times its monetary value. Do good and it will follow. Don't sacrifice just do good !! Sincerely, Tapan Trivedi

Cover Art for the New Book I am writing!!

indiancomedian — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 18:48:01 GMT

Now leave a comment!

Sacbee article about Coexist and me - Come out to the shows at the Geery Theatre now.....

indiancomedian — Fri, 30 May 2008 19:26:49 GMT

http://www.sacbee.com/entertainment/story/972704.html Laughing together A Muslim, a Hindu and an atheist walk into a club ... By Jim Carnes - jcarnes@sacbee.com Published 12:00 am PDT Friday, May 30, 2008 Tissa Hami, a Muslim born in Iran, and Tapan Trivedi, a Hindu born in India, have a lot in common. Both belong to religions that are little understood in much of America, where they have chosen to make their home. And both want to make you laugh with – not at – them. They are two-fifths of the Sacramento-based Coexist? Comedy Tour that will open a four-weekend stand at the Geery Theater tonight. The other comics are John Ross, a Christian; Sammy Obeid, a Buddhist; and Keith Lowell Jensen, an atheist. "When I started, when I got very short sets in clubs with mostly male stand-up comics, it was very much about being a Muslim and being a Muslim woman," Hami said recently in a telephone interview from her home in San Francisco. "I'll really never not be the female Muslim comedian on a show," she said. Hami had worked on Wall Street in New York City and in the admissions office at Harvard University in Boston before she became a stand-up comic about six years ago – after 9/11. "Obviously, that was a big event for all of us, but as a Middle Eastern person, it was especially difficult. I felt it from various levels, as an American whose country had been attacked, as a person from the Middle East where the attack originated, and as an American of Middle Eastern descent who was somehow suddenly suspicious. "It remided me of when I was a kid and the Iranian hostage crisis happened, and all the hatred toward people of my background. "Then (after 9/11), watching all the Middle Eastern 'experts' on TV, who were all these white guys and an occasional white woman, I wanted to make my voice heard." Initially, Hami said, "I was terrified. A year after 9/11? Yes, terrified. One, I was terrified the way any new comedian would be terrified, to try to go onstage and make a roomful of strangers laugh. On top of that, I was doing it as a veiled Muslim woman, in the city where 9/11 had happened. I didn't know if (the audience) would boo me, 'stone' me with beer bottles – I didn't know what would happen." That's right, Hami went on stage veiled. "My concept originally was to do the veiled woman as a character and then to take the veil off and do the rest of it as me, the stand-up comic. But I wasn't an actor and I couldn't pull it off. So, I started out being veiled and half-way through, I'd unveil and continue. "I couldn't do that in my home country. When I was in Iran, I had to be veiled – but here I can. I want to show that I'm the same person with or without the veil on." Hami, 35, appeared in a PBS documentary, "Stand Up: Muslim American Comedians Come of Age," and recently was invited to appear on "The View" on ABC-TV, where she was interviewed by co-hosts Joy Behar and Sherri Shepherd. (The segment can be seen on YouTube. There's a link from www.coexistcomedy.com to the tape.) Despite her experience onstage, Hami said she was "pretty nervous" beforehand. "This was live and this was it," she said. "If I screwed something up or was just an idiot, that's what people would forever know me as." Early in her career, Hami appeared on an all-ages show with half-a-dozen other comics (male and female) at a Starbuck's in suburban Boston – not every gig is a big gig. Afterward, she said, "A boy, about 7 or 8, came up and stuck out his hand and said, 'You were the best comedian on the show.' He didn't say I was the best woman comedian on the show or the best ethnic comedian on the show, just the best comedian. "That's the reaction I want." Trivedi, 31, was co-founder of the Coexist? company, along with Sacramentan Jensen. The idea came to them one night, backstage at a comedy club. "We were laughing that here we were, an atheist and a Hindu, about to go onstage before a roomful of Christians and tell jokes," Jensen said. "It hit us what a cool thing that actually was." Trivedi recently taped an episode of the Showtime cable series "Comedy Slam," which is hosted by comic Russell Peters. Peters is an ethnic Indian who was born in Toronto and is a major stand-up star in much of the world. "He is probably the most famous comic that you have never heard of," Trivedi said in a recent telephone interview. "He talks about all the minorities that nobody else talks about, and he reaches audiences that haven't had a comic of their own. Thanks to him, when you say, 'I'm an Indian comedian,' they don't ask, as they used to, 'What do you bring to the stage besides the accent?' " Trivedi also credits Peters with opening opportunities for Indian comedians, including corporate shows and private performances, such as at weddings. "Indian people mostly spend money on events like a major birthday party or a wedding," Trivedi said. "Usually, it's a kind of tight-fisted community, except when it comes to these special events." Peters helped make it possible for comics like Trivedi to make remarks like that. He also helped make it possible to talk about similarities and differences among cultures. Differences such as religion. "Humor is the best way to talk about religion," Trivedi said. "There's still some stigma associated with talking about it. It's still a touchy subject. That's one reason why we formed the group. "Once you laugh at something, you've admitted its existence. It makes it real. It puts it out there. You start to deal with it." His relationship with Jensen has been revealing," Trivedi said. "Where I grew up, there weren't that many atheists, period. In the beginning, getting to know Keith, it was like, 'Oh, my god, I can't believe him.' But I've come to understand where he's coming from, and I admire that he has gone ahead and hit the delete key on what used to be a very big part of his life." Jensen was born into a Catholic family but abandoned religion at 16. Forming Coexist? was "a leap of faith," Trivedi said. "Keith would disagree, but it was." Coexist? Comedy Tour WHEN: Opens at 8 tonight and continues at 8 p.m. Fridays and Saturdays through June 21 WHERE: Geery Theatre, 2130 L St., Sacramento TICKETS: $10 general INFORMATION: (916) 470-9393, www.coexistcomedy.com --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Shark Infested waters.....

indiancomedian — Sun, 25 May 2008 23:52:58 GMT

Of late I have been hearing a lot of stories about surfers being bit by sharks because they were swimming in 'shark infested waters .' Hey newsmedia - the last time I checked the sharks LIVE in those waters. If you take a piece of wood and have the galls to stand on it on a wave in a place where humans aren't supposed to be in the first place - you are the infestation. Not the sharks. The headline should read - he was surfing in the human infested waters and was bit by the rightful owner of the water who was merciful and didn't eat him altogether. I will write more on this later. Tapan

We sponsored a little child in India through

indiancomedian — Thu, 22 May 2008 01:20:26 GMT

the WorldVision organization. No jokes. Its been on my mind a lot lately and it just had to be done. Mandy completely agreed. Laxman Rajaram . Age 5 years old. Govinda Damodar Madhaveti Tapandy

Breathe In ......Just Breathe In......

indiancomedian — Tue, 20 May 2008 15:11:13 GMT

I Read you And God i'm good at it I'm so spot on Chord Shapes in air Go press that dissonance If you dare And you Breathing in Finesse an innocent From her partying And I'm high enough from all the waiting To ride a wave on your inhaling And I'm high enough from all the waiting To ride a wave on your inhaling 'Cause I love you no Can't help but love, you know What Part of no Don't you understand I've told you before To just get Off my case This isn't happening Stop this now And I Where was i I have to be somewhere Now where did i put it And I'm high enough from all the waiting To ride a wave on your inhaling And I'm high enough from all the waiting To ride a wave on your inhaling 'Cause I love you no Can't help but love you know Is this it Is this it Is this it Is this it, no Is this it, no Is this it Yes Hello we're back And we're taking calls Now what was the question And I'm high enough from all the waiting To ride a wave on your inhaling And I'm high enough from all the waiting To ride a wave on your inhaling And I'm high enough from all the waiting To ride a wave on your inhaling And I'm high enough from all the waiting To ride a wave on your inhaling 'Cause I love you no Can't help but love you know 'Cause I love you no Can't help but love you know Frou Frou

Growing up.....

indiancomedian — Fri, 16 May 2008 05:13:00 GMT

My mom always used to insist that we finish each and every aspect of our conversations. She used to shout at us " FINISH YOUR CONVERSATIONS THERE ARE KIDS DYING WATCHING TV IN AMERICA !" Tapan

Working at Harbin Hot Springs.....

indiancomedian — Mon, 05 May 2008 18:44:04 GMT

Last Saturday May 3rd - the CoExist Tour was the featured artist at Harbin Hot Springs. Now I have been a visitor to the fabulous Harbin Hot Springs for years now but this was a completely different experience. From the momment we reached the office till we departed the site the next day it was a dream come true. We were welcomed to the office and we chatted as we got our room keys . Rasool the resident event co ordinator is one of the coolest guys we have met in the business. He showed us to our rooms and then to the place where we were to perform. Seemed like a cool place. After we get settled in and dressed we go out and we are confronted by the sight of beautiful naked people just chilling by the pool. There is something about doing a show for people who you know you are going to see naked that can be described as weird at best. As we are eating our early dinner Rasool comes up to us and tells us that the event has been moved from the original place to the Temple ( a larger venue) due to the response they received. Good news ! Then he announces to the entire restaurant that we are the comics. People start coming up to us and telling us that they are looking forward to the show. Showtime is 8:00 p.m. and I get there about 15 minutes before time to make sure that the room is good and do a mike check. I am surprised to see that the entire crowd is resting and I mean really resting. Each and every one of them is lying down on pillows . There are maybe 10 people total that have a vertical spine at that point. This is the closest my audience has been to an orgy. I also see that there are kids in the audience . After years of doing Indian gigs while there are kids around its no big deal to me but Keith and John are concerned. Sammy Obeid - who is a kid himself (24 he claims) isn't too much concerned. The show starts and Keith does good and brings Sammy up . Sammy has this natural way of connecting with any crowd which is an awesome asset to have at 11 months in comedy. This is one comic to watch . He kills with his set and does about 5 new jokes. I am so proud of his growth and glad to have him on the tour. John Ross goes up after him and does great. He keeps the audience on the edge of their non existent seats by his jokes. I go up and do about 40-45 minutes and riff for about 10 minutes in that set. Good goings all around. People really really liked the show. We head over to our rooms and change and get into the pools. The hot /cold pool change makes me very content and relaxed . I go to my room and sleep. Breakfast next morning is GREAT as people keep on telling us what great time they had at the show. I think Sammy may have hooked up with someone but I am not sure . Thank you to Harbin Hot Springs for a great show. Tapan Trivedi

Working with Rex Navarette - an awesome experience !

indiancomedian — Mon, 31 Mar 2008 19:04:20 GMT

I worked the entire week with Rex Navarette - the fantastic Phillipino comedian. I learnt a lot about the Phillipino culture. I have worked with other Phillipino comedians before but Rex is the king. The insights and the observations on a culture and its various vagaries and quirks as described by an ambassador of the culture was an awesome experience. I did not realize this as a perk of doing standup but its true. I DO get more insights into a culture given to me in a nicely packaged and funny way - kinda like from a pez dispenser. That is good. Tapan

Is an abortion possible...

indiancomedian — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 18:02:53 GMT

on an immaculate conception ? Everyone says that the Christians stole the spring festival and made it Easter and that the Easter Bunny has more to do with fertility of the oncoming spring and nothing to do with resurrection. While that may be true I offer up another suggestion :- That the bunny exists because when Jesus arose from the dead and went back to heaven he went back hopping like a bunny all the way. Tapandy

Chinese Olympics and Oppression

indiancomedian — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 20:41:51 GMT

The Chinese gov't continues to deny that the oppression in Tibet - which is now a clear revolt is non existent. Olympics are about athletics and not politics - Oh Yeah ! Remember when Jesse wore a black band on his arm during the Hitler Olympics ? I would be much more inclined to believe the Chinese gov't had they not used a self immolating Tibetan monk to light the olympic torch !

My First TV Taping

indiancomedian — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 19:28:49 GMT

Although I have had blips on the radar before that I claimed as TV credits this weekend I taped my first ever genuine TV credit taping . I did the Comedy Slam with Russell Peters for Showtime Networks. I got the phone call - barely a week back that asked me to bring about 7 strong minutes of material. Selecting the set was a tough choice. There are a lot of jokes that want to be on TV - some that you like more than the rest and you have to tell the rest of those jokes that you need to take the heavy hitters to the game and the rest of y'all need to stay home. I went and dropped by at every comedy club I am friends with in the Bay Area and asked to do 7 minutes and all of them were co operative. I guess they know that since I never drop by and ask for a guest set - if I am coming down then it must be for a reason. I headlined the Stanford Comedy Club and the CoExist Comedy Shows on Tuesday and Friday respectively and it was a great experience. So I drove down to L.A. and the drive was interesting to say the least. It was SNOWING over the grapevine !! Although it was beautiful I was concerned about my safety. I kept on rehearsing my set . I kept a rough count I must have gone over my set about 35 times that week ! The reporting time for makeup and wardrobe was noon for me. I showed up at 11:55 at the Theatre. Yvette from the production company was a GREAT presence there. My friend Mike E Winfield was already there. He has big teeth and an act that is so enlightening that there are rolls of laughter even before he says a single word. We go through our wardrobe choices - no whites, no stripes, no full colors, no this , no that. I asked if we could go naked and they said 'NO FULL COLORS!'. They are serious about the look of the show. Apparently this is being filmed in HD and there are idiots with equipment that blow up flaws on people's faces and post them on websites and charge people for that - apparently a huge market. Kinda makes you rethink every fight that you had since third grade. Finally I go to the stage for my wardrobe check and they select a jeans and a black shirt but they don't like the t shirt I have inside. So I tell them I will get one. Get a tan one they say. I go down and ask if someone had a tan T Shirt and Mike told me that his wife is out there looking for a T Shirt and she can easily get one. She did and the wardrobe lady liked it. She gave me the rest of the clothes back . No rack space she said. She had plenty of space on her rack ! Then its makeup time. Sean - the make up lady - had a great presence and an easy demeanour that put me at ease right away. I kept that ease throughout the entire session - even when she clipped my nose hair. If I see a picture of my nose hair on a HD site I will probably be very disappointed. B-Phlat is also having her makeup done at the same time. B is one gorgeous black lady who is completely at ease with make up and actually has the chatty courage to make jokes which I completely lack at this point. She says something to the affect of 'Do my eyes girl, I tell half my jokes with my eyes !'. To which I respond, 'Do my ears girl, I do most of my jokes with my ears!'. To this day I don't know if Sean got the joke or she took it literally but she dabbed my ears with make up. This being the first time in my life that my ears have been beautified. Its about 1:30. Its 3 hours and 30 minutes till showtime. More till I go up . I finally got to go and do my set around 6:15 p.m. These were the slowest hours of my life. In the greenroom the air was different. The stalwarts of comedy who have done it for a number of years were chilling. Darren Carter - even showed up late and still managed to kill. Brett Ernst , Sam Tripoli, Angelo all looked amazingly calm. Maybe they were anxious too but they didn't show it at all. I mess around with the folks when the wardrobe lady told me to take off the approved clothes and hang them on the rack. I open the restroom door to find that B-Phlat is in there. She asks me the way only a black girl with feigned interest can "And why are you in the girls REST ROOOM ?" I am shocked and take a look at the sign on the door . Sure enough its the one with the skirt and I freeze. Not because of the fact that I entered the wrong restroom but because I had been using the wrong one ever since I got there. I mutter an apology and get out. Showtime :- Its 5 pm and its showtime. Yoshi Obayashi is the first one up in the first show and he does great. Then its a cavalcade of comics till the third show when Mike goes up. Although I know all his jokes its a pleasure seeing him decked out in his green beret kind of clothes and on the fantastic set that they had onstage for our shindig. We are, of course, watching this on a high def monitor in the greenroom. After Darren Carter is my turn to go up. I go up behind the stage and try not to get killed by the HUGE crane that is hanging out there. The technicians are chill and chatting. The director tells me - we lost a few people there kid. I take a look and the crowd looks just the same to me. Russell comes out and asks 'You better not be nervous now son'. I told him I am not. This is what I have prepared for . Little does he know that I am trying desperately not to crap my pants. Everything I do now will refelct on his decision to put me on the show and all I want to do is do right by him. He asks me what I need for the intro and then suggests that he do an intro where he says 'The funniest guy ever to get a greencard'. He sets me up PERFECTLY. I go up onstage and without even saying a word there is laughter. My first laugh is about 30 seconds into the set . Then there is the magic sound of applause. It is so fantastic that I stop and enjoy myself for a second. I guess this is what they mean by 'Have fun out there kid'. That calms the nerves completely. The rest of the set is a breeze. I don't remember any of it but the comics told me that my applause break went on for about 30 seconds - which is a long long time. I go for my photo shoot and my interview. I see Sam Tripoli and Bret Ernst who came down to congratulate me on the set. I am humbled by this. The photo shoot went down great. The interview went over great too. I go back with an amazing sense of relief and calm. I see things that I didn't before. There are food items there. Dwight - my agent comes down - and congratulates me and tells me that I have had the best response so far. I want to believe him but then he is my agent so I don't ...... A big thanks to Russell Peters for putting me on this show.

Stanford University tonight....

indiancomedian — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 17:18:45 GMT

Hey kids, I am at the 750 Pub at Stanford tonight. Tell your friends to be there. http://comedyclub.stanford.edu/ Tapandy

Are there any other

indiancomedian — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 06:25:16 GMT

kind of Catholics besides Roman ? Also I think they should start carding people at communion ? Why is it that Catholic kids get a free ride to drinking alchohol every Sunday while the rest of us have to wait till we are 14 and have the negotiations skills and pocket change necessary to convince a bum to buy us alchohol ? This is fantastic for parents. They get to instill religion on their kids AND they get sedated kids in return . A truly win win situation . So WHAT if they have to go to AA at 16 thats more time that the kids are out of the house !! Tapandy

The Oh Shit Handle

indiancomedian — Sun, 02 Mar 2008 18:39:52 GMT

You know what I am talking about. The one in your car ? You know the one that is located in the interior of the vehicle above the door. The one that is used in extreme conditions like when the driver steps hard on the brakes or when an 18 wheeler decides to cut you off and there is another 18 wheeler in the other lane and they keep on doing their dance of 'Hey Asshole - I am the king of the road and I won't let you through in your pity little car !'. Yes, that one. The one that you use to hang your clothes more often than any other intended use. Well I don't know about your car but I drive a Prius and the Prius has one on the DRIVERS side. WTF ? How bad does your driving have to be for you to use the handle than the steering wheel ? Now I have driven shitty cars before where the only saftey I had was that in case of a crash my belly roll acted as an airbag . I have seen accidents and talked to survivors (mostly about insurance) but I have and NEVER EVER have I heard the phrase 'Thank God for the handle'. Why is it that Toyota can design what is arguably the greenest and the most perfect car on the road today and still have the gall to put the Oh Shit handle on the drivers' side ? Maybe they should take a page out of the VW book and start advertising - Drivers wanted to use the Oh Shit Handle. Tapan

Why are Hindus loyal ?

indiancomedian — Sun, 02 Mar 2008 18:24:32 GMT

The Pew Research Center did a study of people who changed religions in their life and found out that of those who DIDN'T change their religions Hindus were at the top. 84% of the people who were Hindus are still Hindus. This is baffling to a lot of people and they ask me why ? The answer is simple. Its the Gods stupid. Hindus have Gods like a monkey , an elephant , a mouse, a lion. And as most of us know you may forget your relationship with Jesus but you are STILL loyal to Curious George, Babar, Mickey and Simba. THAT'S why. Tapandy

Not leaving tribe still on Facebook

indiancomedian — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 20:58:05 GMT

Turns out all I had to do was log on to Paypal and cancel the subscription there. Done. I am still here and blogging and socialling and netting and working. Tapandy

Leaving Tribe for Facebook

indiancomedian — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 19:53:03 GMT

Hey Guys and Dolls, I have enjoyed tribe a lot with most of you guys but the idiots at tribe made the premium membership a one way street and it seems like removing my membership altogether is the best way to not pay into the coffers of the bloated tribal elders. Yes it is a fucking shame that after being on tribe for a good 4 years this is what it has come to. Please join me at Facebook . Join Face book . Look for Tapan Trivedi At the most for 8 more days. Tapan

Remove Tribe Premium !!!

indiancomedian — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 05:49:11 GMT

How does one do that ? Unless I am missing something obvious Tribe isn't making it easy for me and the membership benefits are sparse. I want out. How do I do it ? Tapan

Nader Please !!

indiancomedian — Sun, 24 Feb 2008 19:22:20 GMT

Ralph Nader is running for president. Make that stumbling. There was a time that I was excited about Nader and even worked for his campaign. Green Balloons and posters for him and La Duke . I was an idealist with extra time and spent a significant portion of my money for the campaign. I ignored all the signs posted saying that a vote for Nader is a vote against Gore. Since then it has been proven without discourse that had Nader not run (and not to mention funded by Republicans) then Gore would have won. I chose to believe that politics at every level is an incessant cesspool and as soon as you dive into it you are a pig. Regardless of your ideals and your principles for you to be a viable candidate you HAVE to be dirty. It has been the quintessential equation of power. To have it and to yeild it you have to be dirty. And when I compare what Bush has done to what Gore would have done there is NOTHING I can think of that would be worse. So for the sake of the greater good and restoring some balance to the political system that has completely fucked the lower and the middle classes - Nader Please - get the fuck off the charts. Yes, I know that you are a star in Grass Valley and certain parts of Austin but as much as I relish the pipe dream of your presidency out of a bong made out of an apple core that is all it is. A pipe dream . In reality your chances of getting elected are about the same as Karl Rove getting a soul train award. Yes, I remember the ads that you so passionately put the last week asking for people in certain states to vote for you saying that voting for you in the state of Texas would only help your Green Party get the funding necessary from the government. The cost of your 'presidential run' was felt by everyone that has been hurt by Bush. You in your misplaced idealism ended up helping the exact big business that you are so opposed to. So for the last time NADER PLEASE get the fuck out of the race . For the sake of every decent wage earner that is in foreclosure - get the fuck out. For the sake of every work at home mom that has been burnt by the Bush White House - get the fuck out of the race. For the sake of every reindeer whose house has been plowed down by this White House -get the fuck out of the race. Nader please I propose to form a volunteer group that raids the Green Party offices and puts some sense into their heads . Lets call them Nader Raiders. Tapandy

Roomba Vs Kid

indiancomedian — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 18:28:04 GMT

I saw something that disturbs me . For those of you who don't know me yet - I have a 16 month old daughter who is just about the cutest thing I know. Yes, even cuter than the kitten in a boot YouTube video that has been featured on the homepage and on Yahoo for about 20 months now. That actually means that - that little kitten - already a pussy now. But I digress. I have a cute daughter. She walks, runs , asks us to pick her up and has a vocabulary of about 5 full words and hand gestures and face gestures which she will gleefully unload on anyone willing to pay more than 3 minutes of attention to her. On the surface it seems like we are well on our way to a fully functional human being . If only life were so easy. This morning she was walking towards the TV cabinet - a wood and glass behemoth by her size - and she ran into it. SHE RAN DIRECTLY INTO THAT SHIT. While my parental instincts of holding her and comforting her took over - there was a part of me that was completely puzzled by it. She is cool. She is HILLARIOUS when she does her little dance and she is absolutely focussed when she climbs the wooden castle at the park. WTF happened ? How can a child which has achieved so much hand eye co ordination just run into a static object that is atleast twice her size ? I guess that is the reason why they don't let kids drink till the frontal lobe is fully developed. The parental surprise was only compounded by the fact that my roomba which was on at the time came around the exact same spot that she fell on and actually recognized the TV cabinet and went AROUND it. At this point I had to wonder if I could spend 125$ and get better intelligence than something that is costing me about a thousand bucks a month and thats not including the lack of sexlife. The Roomba is a wonderful invention that goes out when asked , intelligently cleans up my floors and carpet and then quietly goes back to its resting place. Waiting for me to command it again. Grace jumps on and beats the living crap out of the Roomba. The Roomba dosen't complain. Grace complains at the slightest of the real or supposed pain she feels. Like when daddy is watching CNN and she feels the pain because the Wiggles are not on. FUCK THE WIGGLES. Let me say that again because it feels so good ! FUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKK THE WIGGLES ! And a yay yay and a wiggley yay to that . HELP THE WIGGLES HAVE TAKEN OVER MY TIVO ! - Would you buy that bumper sticker ? The Roomba cleans up the mess that Grace makes. Grace makes messes for the Roomba to clean. The Roomba has had a TV credit with Dave Chapelle. Grace has a credit on her daddy's credit card. I can go on but I think you feel my pain and if you see me with a Roomba in a baby carrier - I hope you understand. If you see a 16 month old with a vaccuum cleaner at my place - I hope you understand. Tapan Trivedi

Valentine's Day

indiancomedian — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 19:42:10 GMT

Deeply hidden under the wrapped candy hearts And other assorted 'gifts' , Was the one thing she wanted But never expected she would get. The thing that I worked hard to get. The thing that took about 3 tough gigs to earn. The thing that I KNEW would elicit a smile so wide The thing that I KNEW would make her burst her side Nestled beneath the Sees candy box In a bag bought especially to hide it properly Was an Iphone. Happy wife equals happy life !! Cheers . Tapan

Abortion and McCain

indiancomedian — Mon, 11 Feb 2008 00:29:31 GMT

I used to think that with the Presidential race deadset amongst Obama, Hillary and McCain I win. I am no big fan of McCain's views on the war or that his status on immigration is shaky at best. But today I saw a recent (about three months back) and an older statement of his about abortion. He has actually pledged that he will appoint judges that will overturn Row V Wade. Sorry Mr.McCain - that's a deal breaker ! Get your head in the right place. I understand that you favor adoption but even you with your majorly unlimited resources have adapted only one child . The rest are left behind. Deal Breaker dude . As conflicted as I am about abortion and women's right to chose the last thing I want is a President whose major credential is that he is a war vet decide what's right for the sisters out there. AND if you truly want to absolve yourself then you will make the campaign financing deal pass despite the fact that you will lose this election. THAT would be a legacy that is honorable and historic. Tapandy