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It was the type of giggle that would make a young mother smile,
I can't remember the why, but the wallpaper patterns had me running in circles,
Trying to defend my Saturn,
Just me and my box of Machiavelli and Cheese,
All I really wanna do is show you my disease,
She didn't have the courage to kiss me goodnight,
But I'ma give you my word that everything will be alright,
Like what the fuck, this phone is disconnected,
Just my luck, I need advice before my Love gets misdirected,
Guess it's just another symptom of, just another victim of,
The warfare, and those caught between Sean and the Slug,
And did I mention the drugs that used to make it spew forth?
Carried barely half the pleasure of a pack of Newports,
Breath it in, breath it out, what it really be about,
I'm trying to lose and elude all excuses to scream and shout!
And every moment I spent wishing my parents back together,
Would've been better lent to preparing me for the weather,
Rocking my T-shirt that reads 'whatever',
All in an effort to relieve the pressure.
This wood is cheap, and now Fire's back in style,
If I had better teeth I would try to crack a smile,
Well here I am, Mr. Typical,
Ridiculously Meticulous, when painting pictures of Pitiful,
And little did I know, and less did I care,
They would chew up and swallow all that I threw out there.
"It's not fair!" screams the one without a voice,
Arm that boy, tell him to aim at the ones that got all the toys.
Sometimes it was good, other times it was just a moment of reasoning, visioning, and other stimulus that causes growing.
Sometimes it was good, and other times contradicted, but no matter where I stood I still managed to stand.
Homecoming, feat. EI-P
9) Only 4,986 Hippies in Front of You in the Digital Queue
8) Early Ticket Sales Make Larry Happy
7) Keep the Lights On at HQ
6) Entitles You to Free Playa-Foot Massage from one of the New Recruits
5) Santa Claus will Personally Give You the Finger
4) Automatically Enters You in the Raffle to Win a Bottle of Playa Dust
3) So Deliciously Capitalistic
2) The American Dream: Cut the Middle Man, Gut the Competition, and Trample People for a Discount!
1) Atomic Fireballs
0) Resistance is Futile
10) Depressed because George Lucas didn't pick him to be the Producer for the new Star Wars Live Action TV Show.
9) Gaining weight to play the role of Jabba the Hutt.
8) Prepping for Clerks III: The Jenny Craig Edition.
7) Helping Jason Mewes overcome his Eating Disorder.
6) Training for a new Weight Class in Celebrity Wrestling.
5) Not-So-Secret Mooby's Endorsement.
4) Trying to fill out his new Hummer.
3) Excuse to have an elevator installed.
2) Had to have personal trainer Richard Simmons liquidated.
1) Competing with James Gandolfini in a Coney Island Hot Dog Eating Contest.
It makes me sad, but all the outages, the server slowdowns, the waaaa mysql blah blah blah...
Tribe is making me sad. MySpace sucks and Facebook is just boring.
You mean I have to go out into the real world to meet people?
You mean I have to check message boards and actually READ that pocketful of Flyers to discover the proverbial "What's Going On..."
I said it before, Tribe is starting to remind me of AOL in 1997. Anyone who was "almost on-line" back then knows exactly what I mean: Burn
Here's what I learned:
10) Not all ArtCars are created equal. Some are excessively oversized.
9) The Bus leaves when the Captain says so. And not a moment before.
8) Sleep in your tent. This is Burning Man, not "Sleeping Hippie Man." I can sleep here because this IS my tent.
7) The Temple is a great place for a Sunrise Cruise.
6) It's only illegal if you get caught. This Means You, DMV!
5) Burning Man bureaucracy is just like regular bureaucracy, only HIGHER.
4) If you build it, they will come. If you honk your horn because you're ready to leave, they will wander around for another 20 minutes.
3) EL Wire is so cliche. A little Rope-light goes a long way.
2) When in doubt, Mumble. When in trouble, Delegate. (Borrowed from Murphy's Law)
1) A Captain's word is his Bond. Which means my stoned ass will be there when I say I will be.
He's gonna get a sugar high,
If he gets a sugar high,
He's gonna tell a kinky story,
If he tells a kinky story,
He's gonna want to have a dildo fight,
If he has a dildo fight,
He's gonna want a towel to clean up,
If he wants a towel to clean up,
He's gonna want to use the Hot Tub,
If he uses the Hot Tub,
He's gonna want to take a shower,
IF he takes a shower,
Then he's had his one for the week,
And he can come back next week!
Sunday Pancakes with the Reverend...
at Sophia Healing Center
776 Haight St. SF
My friend and I ended up on the 2 o'clock street at a party hosted appropriately by the Moontribe. The music was bumping though the Dark Side of the Moon had played some hours earlier. My Companion had taken off to visit our friendly neighborhood porta potties, while I stayed behind to see if a thumping bassline would materialize into the Reggae Remix titled "Dub-side of the Moon."
I turned to find the Green Man, previously bathed in the soft neon glow the color of an Irish Bar, seemingly engulfed in flames. As I stared disbelieving an attractive Burner asked me for a light, which I gladly obliged. Taking the opportunity to orient my perceptions, I politely asked, "Am I just High, or is the Man on Fire?" Her response was, "Yes, you are just high, and the Man does appear to be on Fire."
My friend reappeared shortly thereafter, wherein we made a B-line for the "Early Man." I heckled the crowd demanding my money back, and told the fabled story of John Law and the Neon Smiley Face that nearly caused Burning Man founder Larry Harvey an aneurism in 1997.
In reality it was the highlight of the event for myself and many others. A funny rumor or a bad joke that suddenly became a grim yet amusing reality.
Only at Burning Man.
American Dream? I've gotta admit I like the write up, but this is the Worst Theme Ever, if only because it's going to give the Piss Clear SO MUCH to bitch about. I mean, it's almost as if John Law and his pundit Paul Addis are right. Maybe Burning Man is selling out. Or at least playing to the Man. As if that was anything new. It's an ambitious idea, and a high ranking Borg official told me they plan these themes out years in advance. SO is this the slow inevitable march toward the corporatization of Burning Man? Or is this an Official FUCK YOU to Law and his cronies? And what the hell is the federal government going to think? Ha Ha silly hippies, hide behind the flag? That shit only works for us. At least it's a legitimate excuse to top the gratuitous pyrotechnic overload of this year's event.
I hope Camp Monticello goes to town with this one. I may camp with those guys. It will make my Pirate Outfit EVEN COOLER (if that were possible) because now it's "Period." And perhaps it will be empowering to call America out right in the heart of the subculture. Let's see what these weird twisted freaks do with this one. But if the frat boys start showing up in a caravan of suburbans waving the stars and stripes I'm gonna start slashing tires.
I can't decide between Camp Ecotopia (California as a Seccesionist Mecca) or Anarchy Camp (sure to be done, re-done, and horribly botched). Or how about just Camp Fuck Burning Man? lol Obviously I can't decide whether to be mad or elated. But I have a whole year to warm up to the idea.
Resistance is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated.
a warmup for my soon-to-be-published article on CIIS
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