joined on 10/31/07
last updated 08/14/08
Dragon Bridge in Slovenia's capital city, Ljubljana. See my dream about the dragon
This is Bear, who came into my life about four years ago. Little Girl (Little Bit, Catzalcoatl-yes a different take on Quetzalcoatl-..multinamed cat, who I am still trying to learn her proper name) I found in November of last year.
The blue flowers are Borage which I planted to attract bees. My bee pictures didn't turn out because I have a $#@$I@#) camera.
about me
I care about people on an individual level, but I am disgusted with humanity.
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July 27, 2008
I dreamed I had just gotten up from sleeping and was wearing a thin white t-shirt and black pajama bottoms. Don and Elizabeth were sitting on the couch and they were going to share knowledge and answer questions. I sat in front of the couch with my arms crossed across my chest because I was self conscious about wearing the thin white t-shirt. I said I need to go change clothes to be presentable...I was afraid they would be gone when I got back. I went to find another shirt, I kept trying different shirts on and found one. J.G. put his arms around me from behind and I felt loving energy and it felt so peaceful and kind.
July 19, 2008 snippets
riding in the rain, holding Bob's hand
July 9, 2008 snippets
three abscess opening on left foot, ball on back of thigh that moves under the tissue, shower hot water, Mary said she would talk to my guides to find out why. Woke up and the clock was flashing, no other power outage signs.
July 6, 2008 snippets
"The Blue Garden", tables, napkins, rolls, butter
July 6, 2008 snippets
vegetable garden, big white horse laying in the garden, vest with beadwork, native american woman, dirty laundry, electronic wall with news magazines, book on new power animal, up north?
July 5, 2008
My mom was being forced to move out of her home. She was sad. I'm not sure why she had to move, I asked her but she didn't give a real answer. I was watching her pack and get some things ready, but she was leaving most everything there.
July 4, 2008
I went to bed thinking about the earth's magnetic field and whether a beginning of a pole reversal would be what is causing the death of the bees because they can't find their way home. I wondered if I might be able to help the bees, or if I should...because maybe that is a mechanism to control human population.
1st dream:
I saw a fairy necklace that I wanted and I was searching out money to pay for it. The roads were covered in whitewater and I had a hard time getting around them.
MAIN DREAM: SCHOOL DRAGON KEEPER
Mary, Kathy and I went to a school to see what can be done about the basement. I believe it is an all girls school. There was a green copper statue out front of three goddesses. (This could have been Mary Magdalene and/or a few saints, I'm not sure) The statues moved.
We went inside. Mary had a big key in her hand and we went down to the basement area. There was a brick wall in front of us with a big key hole. There was a horizontal window with bars. It looked like a whole other world through the window. The brick wall morphed and covered the keyhole so we couldn’t stick the key in. Mary said “That’s never happened before.” The “Keeper” came to the window and Mary asked if he would show us his injury. Then the “Keeper” was grabbed and eaten before he could show us. His head fell to the floor. Everyone was shocked. Mary said to the dragon “You would see your Keeper dead before we open the door?” The dragon’s deep voice boomed out “Yes, I would see the Keeper dead”.
Then I woke up. When I went into the garden this morning there were REAL bees...I haven't seen them in my yard in ages.
July 3, 2008
Aunt Mary Jane who is dead was on the phone to my mom and was calling me a bitch. I said no you are.
June 28, 2008
I dreamed Eric had half a rock from Yellowstone. We met a lady who had a similar half and when the halves were near each other they jumped together and became one.
June 8, 2008
I am dreaming and I am standing outside. The buildings all look like they are covered in green moss. It has been storming a lot and the water is knee and waste deep (flooded, but not frightening or dangerous) in most places. A man and woman come up to me and hand me a baby owl. They want me to take care of it, they don’t say in what manner. I ask them where they got it and they say they found it between the two alligator statues. I know the statues they are talking about and I think I can find the nest it belongs in. I wrap the baby in a cloth and put it in the pocket of my jacket. I lean down to move a bucket full of water the hem of my jacket gets wet so I get the baby out to look at the baby. It is fluffy white, there are tan feathers beginning to come out in its tail and wings. It is happy and dry. Its feet look like they are molting skin though, so I clean the baby’s feet off and put it back in my pocket. Then my cell phone rings and I wake up before I get to the nest.
May 19, 2008
Rattle/Dream Incubation
There was a clubhouse where people could gather. I went inside to use the sink and water started spurting everywhere. I looked under the sink and saw a hose that looked disconnected . I tried to connect it. Then when I tried the sink again it was worse, the water was spraying everywhere. I called in a handyman and he got it working but he didn’t know why it happened. I noticed that he was supposed to know the answer, he was the professional, but he didn’t know what it was. I go outside and there is a River with Trees along the banks. The Trees are in autumn colors-oranges, reds. There are other people there I know hanging around. I start walking up the steps to the clubhouse and realize there is water pouring out of the building and down the steps. I walk in and the fountain, sink, and hot tub/pool are all gushing water, it bubbles up. The fireplace is blazing with fire. And I realize that because of the design of the clubhouse that the fire is creating a vortex that is pulling the water up. I am not worried because the water is not harming anything like the carpets or furniture.
May 18, 2008
I was out of coffee beans. I got in the car and drove to get some. It was sunny and the plants were green and thick where our house was. As I'm driving south things are covered with ice and snow. Then I heard on the radio that record frosts and snow were coming but only affecting people in the south. The north was fine. I couldn't get to the store because of the conditions so I turned around and came back home where everything was still green. I was considering covering my garden with plastic and sheets to protect them.
May 17, 2008
it's raining, i see a round circular pit under a bed with kittens wrapped in washclothes and a black boar and a mother cat
May 16, 2008 Sleeping with "Dawn's Stone" (My friend in Chicago who gave me this stone a long time ago, I had been trying different stones to help me remember the dreams.)
I was wearing a silk suit. I was preparing a party/feast for people. The people lived in dorm-like rooms at the top level. I walked downstairs and through peoples rooms to see who was ready. The staircase was wooden and a double grand staircase. J.Y. was there. I had lots of food prepared and a separate place for people to eat meat. It was raining and there was a parade of sorts going down the street. There was a group of synchronized women riding scooters. One of them asked for clear plastic bags because of the rain. G.S. was going to the party. Her daughter is anemic and jumped on my back. I fell forward so I wouldn't land on her. The daughter had grey hand paints and was smearing the paint on an old classic car. It was some British dudes car.
May 15, 2008 bits
burning barn, on top level, getting out.
May 7, 2008 bits
Mary, Kathy and I trip to texas, motel room, hand woven beads that are in a book, the beads are a language.
May 4, 2008 bits
green vegetation, crystal skull with red stones
April 26, 2008 bits
J.Y. cut up and injured, I touch his face to heal him. driving in a car for something
April 20, 2008 Dream Incubation
Mary and I were riding bicycles. We had a couple of bags of our clothes and other items with us. We stopped off at a house with a fence. It was either my house, or the home of someone I knew. We dropped off a bag of stuff because we didn't need to take it with us anymore. At one point we were riding at night. There were strings of lights along the left side of the road going under an overpass. We had to get off our bicycles to maneuver through the underpass area. Then I remember seeing an image in black and white of Tennessee and the states surrounding Tennessee, but Tennessee was the most prominent.
April 8, 2008
mountains, old photos of ice balls, Eric's friend on the couch-his phone is ringing
April 7, 2008 bits
swimming like an otter, a book store, a restaurant turned into a home.
February 13, 2006
I dreamed about red jellyfish aliens floating in the sky.
February 12, 2008
I saw a large comet in the sky. i saw it coming down and hitting the earth. I wasn't worried because it was too far away to hit us, but it did affect our sky.
February 11, 2008
Marc, Eric and I are walking on a lava road and the sky is really red.
January 30, 2008
I was in a jeep. We were going fast down a hill and we hit a branch. The branch flew inside, then a hummingbird was trying to leave the jeep. I told it to wait it would get hurt. Then I asked it why it was trying to leave. She said she needed to find a new home. I asked what happened, and saw that her nest was on the broken branch. I held and said not to worry that we would find her a new home.
December 15, 2007
#1: I was in a world with zombies and magick. There was a fast plane. There was a baby who was a magickal kitten. I was trying to dream about my next step. i was rocking the baby-it wasn't mine though- we were protecting her. I was outside carrying her, there were paths and a garden. There were two beings trying to get her so I sat her in the baby carriage and..(can't remember)..then we were in the magick plane going to where everyone else was.
#2 bits: Mom and Dad, me June, etc, aliens us hiding in upper level.
#3 bits: Maps, Carla, Jeff Yates (from high school)
#4 bits: a store that sent an e-mail that they had special antler knives...the antler is the sharpened blade. I bought one made from the old elk "Lacondon"..(I may have that wrong.)
October 26, 2007
I was painting with Robin. The paint was clear-like water- and very liquidy. I had a special paint brush and when I would tell the paint what color I wanted it to be-it would do it.
October 15, 2007
I was exploring another planet? and the inhabitants are gone. There were cases of jewels, stones, and jewelry. In the cases were also different kinds of insects: slug-like creatures, spider-like creatures and others. The insects had something to do with the energy of the stones/jewels/jewelry
November 18, 2006
I got old windows to put in my mom's hidden room, even though there were not any outside facing walls.
(That is all I remember)
November ?, 2006:
I went to visit mom and dad in Colorado or California-not sure which- they were living in a HUGE house. June & Rob were living there and Marie too. We went through the house looking at everything. There were many oddly shaped rooms. I was looking for somewhere to put the birds. There was a pool and a hot tub down in the lower level. There were also massage rooms set up. June and I were in the middle level and a big slithering snake was under the carpet. The carpet was a paisley like pattern. June said it was just a boa constrictor. I picked it up and we went looking for a cage for it outside at the back of the house. All the tanks and cages were too small or the bars too big and I said no wonder the snake escaped. I said I had a tank that would work. Then I noticed that I accidentally smothered it and it had shrunk up to about 6 inches long and was full of water. I turned it upside down, the water came out and I pressed on him to get air into him, then he became normal size again. June and I were beside the road near the house and saw a big tractor trailer coming that was flaming. It glanced off the side of the house and we said we know why the house wasn't so expensive! The house suffered no damage.
February 15, 2001
I couldn't wake up this morning. This has happened before, and usually I decide to go back to sleep until I can wake up. I feel stuck in my body and I can't move. I'm afraid I can't wake up. Then I dreamed a little. then I tried to move my hands to wake up, I couldn't clap my hands but my dream body could clap.
July 2000
we were in an underground place. We had monkeys and parrots. We were traveling in a boat wen it looks like an earthquake happens. I was pulled under the water and drowned.
April 8, 2000
I dreamed I was looking at the faces and bodies of all the people I know. Actually, I recognized their soul-not their faces. The I dreamed I was to be reincarnated as a dolphin. I also dreamed I was looking at my body -the body was a pearl and as it dissolved I saw myself taking shape.
DECEMBER 1 and 2, 2007 (a weekend shamanism workshop)
Day1: The facilitators had us dance our power animals...we were to give them access to our body. It is a common belief in this particular system.
The first journey was hard. The drumming was not as penetrating as Mary's drumming. I tapped on my solar plexus to help feel the beat. I went into the cave and quickly cleansed. Then I took a different tunnel. I came out into an opening with water below me. Ivy, or some kind of vining plant material covered the top of the opening. It was night time. The moon was out and i could see stars. Jaguar was there. closest to the tunnel I came out in was an open field with a stream running through it. I sat on a large round rock by the stream and the field was full of flowers. Crow was there also. That was all. Then I came back after the drumming.
DAY 2:
FIRST EXERCISE: (They did not give us any suggestions on how to do this, they didn't want to influence our experience) I started in my cave to do what they call the upper world journey/my first upper world try (I think this was really just another middle world level though). I went into my cave and there were the roots of a tree. I merged with the roots. I felt the cool earth. I moved as molecules up the tree trunk, I could feel there was air around, I became the small leaves and top part of the tree. There were shapes moving below. I really enjoyed being part of the tree. I felt old and knowledgeable. I did not want to leave the tree but we were told to explore so I decide to materialize and I became myself sitting on a branch up in the tree. I climbed down a rope to the ground. Then I walked along a grey dirt path. I felt like this level is more structured than the lower level. As I was walking I came to a stone formation. I walked over to it and realized it was a well that could take me to the lower world. I drank some water and just stood there for a while. There were plantings and such all around. I saw some butterflies. Then a unicorn showed up. I thought "A unicorn isn't real, how could a unicorn be here". Then it was time to come back. I decided the best part was being in the tree.
SECOND EXERCISE: We partnered up and retrieved helper animals for our partner. My partner brought back a tiger for me. This tiger has been with me since then. My partner is actually in the three year program this particular system does. I brought her back a doe to go with the stag she already had (I found out about the stag after the retrieval.) In this particular system they do not believe the animal is the right one unless you see it three times.
We did a boat group healing for one of the members. I saw Jaguar go over to the "patient" during the proceedings and she was licking blood off his hands, and licking his brain and heart. The facilitator brought a Mastodon back for the "patient".
We were to travel to the upper world to meet a major guide or teacher. I cleansed in the emerald pool and merged with the Elm(?) tree. I went up many many levels, I lost count of the levels. I materialized and climbed down the rope and stepped onto a crystal clear road. I looked below and could see all the other levels below. I walked by many people on the crystal roads. I tried not to think, but to let things happen. I found my teacher, she had black hair and asian/south american features. She was wearing a light colored robe with a red sash and holding a sword of some kind. I don't hear very well in journerys I think her name has something to do with a rose maybe. She is good in martial arts. She said when I did the sword dance so many years ago that she was helping me. I asked her about mom. She said mom needs to lose weight and change her diet. I asked if I can't get her to do that? then she said when the time comes I can take mom's pain.
LAST EXERCISE:
We partererd up to have each other ask our helpers a question for the other person. My question was "What is the best way for me to travel home?" Nina had a crow show up. the crow flew in a pattern and she tried to ask more questions to specify a road or better directions. The crow was a smart ass (LOLOLOL) The crow would say things like "She should drive with her eyes open. She should drive in a car." etc. It was funny! But I took that way back home and shaved about FOUR hours off my trip.
THE NIGHT BEFORE I LEFT:
My boyfriend Eric said there was to be an ice storm coming the next day. I don't do well with ice storms because of a vehicular accident once. So I took a journey for help: I went to the cave and cleansed. Then I asked the animals and guide for someone to come and take me to someone who can help with the weather. A Great Blue Heron shows up and I hung on as we flew up up up and up to a black roiling cloud. there was a face laughing at me. I asked if he could please not make it rain and ice on my drive tomorrow. He said ok. I said I would think of a way to thank him. I imagined it must be wonderful to be a storm god....seeing everything and being the wind through everything.
The next day the temperature stayed just above freezing with no moisture coming down!!! BUT, it was VERY windy! I said "Hey! I guess there are always trade offs."
JOURNEY'S TO HELP MOM:
[mom was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer and I had gone down to Springfield MO to visit By ultrasound, MRI , CT scan and palpation the tumor was 6-7 centimeters large.]
10/17/2007
I went into my Cave and Jaguar and Raven were there. I cleansed in the emerald pool and then ZOOM Raven and I were in mom's room. Raven was pulling out fibrous tumor chunks and throwing them into the air and they were burning up. Raven pulled a little stuff out of her liver and a little from the right breast and also from under her left armpit. I thanked Raven for the help and then did energy work on my mom.
10/21/2007
I journeyed to the cave. After soaking for a little while I got out and asked who would help my mom. I met a healer guide but I don't hear names very well. Jaguar, Hawk, and Hedgehog and I went to her room. I worked on pulling the tumor out and Hawk would take the pieces somewhere to be burned up. I think he was taking them to the heart of the earth where things are burned and reborn, the magma. She got up once and went to the bathroom. I did not see a spot on the liver this time. Hedgehog is one of her power animals and is now with her.
[The tumor size was 4.9 centimeters by the time of her mastectomy on November 14th, unfortunately 9 of 9 lymph nodes were also positive for cancer. Did what we do help shrink it? I don't know, but it certainly didn't hurt. In addition I had mom listen to Belleruth Naparstek's cancer CD every night, healing is within us mostly anyway]
SEPTEMBER 23, 2007 My first group soul retrieval
(This is the very first time images came spontaneously during a waking dream/journey.)
I walk into a Cave, it has a wide mouth opening. There is a pool with stone steps leading down. To my right is a raised altar of sorts. I walk into the pool. The water glows with its own light, it's a greenish emerald color. As I'm under water I breath in the water and let it carry out any toxins and stress from my body. I hear the drumbeat to come up. I walk up and realize I am now wearing some light colored linen robe. I have a belt and headband made of red stone/beads. I'm not sure what it is made of, they feel almost warm to the touch.
Now it's time to go to the back of the cave and dig to find a lost piece of myself to bring back with me. I walk to the back and start digging in the soft dirt. I get my body halfway in and then I'm stuck, nothing is happening. So I wait. Mary (the Shaman) brings her drum over my body. The vibration of the drum loosens me up and I fall through the dirt into a round room with a dirt floor. I see a tunnel and walk to it. Then lots of things start happening. I am in a hallway with obsidian walls, floor and ceiling. Along the tops and bottom of the walls there are glowing crystals for light. There are doors along the hall with symbols on them. They are not all for me though.
I come to a blue butterfly and I tell it I will take it up to flowers if it wants. It sits on my head.
I come to a big black jaguar with green eyes and spots that are colored like my belt and headband. There is a delicate silver cord around her neck. i know this is just for show, she could break through that in a minute, but she wants me to take the cord off and she walks with me.
In one of the doors there is a small turtle. I tell him I'm sorry I stepped on him when I worked at the state park, I didn't see him on the ground he was so little. He sits on my left shoulder.
I find a white rabbit, I put the rabbit in a basket and carry it with us.
We come to a room with a crystal ball on a pedestal with light shining through it. I put my left hand on it and we are back on earth. The animals all run away happy except for the Jaguar. She is now with me and I feel so much more alive than I did!
Lately I’ve spent time reflecting back on the past month and tying some life experiences together.
We were preparing for a trip to West Yellowstone and I asked my guides to show me help through my dreams. So on the night of June 7th I had a dream essentially about a baby owl being given to me by a man and a woman. I analyzed this dream from the personal level and made this complicated analysis:
“I am dreaming and I am outside my mind and body. My body and mind are healing and being reborn. My mind, body, and spirit together bring my emotions over everything. My female and male aspects are together and hand myself wisdom that will grow and become stronger. I want to take care of it. I ask myself where I got it and it was between some dormant ancient knowledge. I know where the dormant ancient knowledge is and I look for the place for the knowledge to be safe and grow. I protect and nurture my new wisdom and put it in a safe place. I move some of my emotions and get my wisdom out to observe my wisdom. My wisdom is protected and safe; my wisdom is growing and becoming mature. My wisdom is intact even though my emotions cover everything. Part of my wisdom is changing as it matures and I get rid of the parts that are not necessary and I put my wisdom back in my safe place. I am looking for the ancient dormant knowledge and am awake.”
My simple analysis of this dream means that I was given the gifts of the owl and must nurture and develop those gifts. I knew at that time that my dream was telling me something I needed for the trip, but, without knowing MY OWN dream language yet, I was unable to gather the wisdom given to me from this dream.
I traveled with two other people (Wolf and Swan) to West Yellowstone to attend a sacred geometric formation calling in the vibrations of peace into the world, and to close a negative energy portal that myself and one of the other people dreamed about. (I had a dream about a clubhouse, fireplace and vortex on May 18th, Swan had also dreamed about a fireplace and depression in the ground specifically in the meeting hall, which I didn’t hear about until a day or so before the trip so I’m not sure when it was dreamed, or even the details.) During this trip, the masks of lies that Wolf has worn her entire life fell down to ground around her and she still doesn’t realize it, and still can’t heal from it because she is trying to blame Swan and I for everything that she did. I saw before the trip that there were self-lies being perpetuated about how much “self healing” Wolf had done. But I did not say anything, thinking that I must not know what I am seeing because I am being told that Wolf is through her healing journey and I have just begun, therefore I cannot possibly see or know the real truth but only my version of the truth (according to Wolf). At that time, I let the experiences of the trip come, to analyze and look at later.
During the gathering of people, I saw someone from my past that I had forgotten all about, except I remembered that he was a liar and I had brought his lies down. At this gathering he was going by the name “OceanLove” and told Wolf that he was from the “world”. Now, honestly, I had forgotten the details of what happened, but I kept journals during those times and found the details when I looked through the journals a few weeks ago. About 20 years ago, when I was in high school, a new boy came into our senior class. He went by the name Joseph and was from Sweden. He was living with the junior class president because his parents had “abandoned him”. I briefly dated him, and in that short time I brought down his house of lies and notified the authorities. He was not really from Sweden, nor was he abandoned, but he tried to fool us all. When the counselors brought students in to make sure we were doing ok I even told the counselor “I’m doing fine. He’s the one who needs help.” They told me that he was a pathological liar. That was the first time in my life I had heard the term “pathological liar”.
So, in effect, 20 years ago I had a pathological liar come into my life; and, looking back at the whole Yellowstone trip, the universe brought a new liar briefly into my life to show me one of the gifts I have. A gift from the Owl.
Yesterday I received my book, “Animal Speak” by Ted Andrews, back from a friend I had loaned it to a several months ago. I had been unable to find a copy to look up the Owl until I got it back. When I looked up Owl, this paragraph really jumped out at me:
“One who works with owl medicine will be able to see and hear what others try to hide. You will hear what is not being said, and you will be able to see that which is hidden or in the shadows. You can detect and pinpoint the subtleties. This can make others uncomfortable because they will not be able to deceive you about their motives or actions. Owl people have the unique ability to see into the darkness of other’s souls and life. This is very scary to most people. This vision and hearing capabilities has metaphysical links to the gifts of clairvoyance and clairaudience as well.”
THANK YOU OWL MEDICINE!
I vow to honor, trust, and develop my gifts further. (At this point though, I still do not share my observations with people about themselves, most cannot take the truth, so instead I use it as a mirror to see what I might need to work on in my own healing journey.)
Signs that the person you are with has “Richkiditis”
Richkiditis : a self centered set of behaviors as a result of having wealthy parents.
1. They make unreasonable demands and cloak it as concern about their own “safety”.
2. They do not truly understand the difference between needs and wants.
3. Their idea of compromise is to have their way and let you have a little of what you want/need, as long as it doesn’t interfere with what they “need”.
4. They don’t know that there are truly appropriate times to be a bitch/asshole, and other times are just plain being a bitch or asshole.
5. When they are a bitch/asshole for non valid reasons, they twist it to say that they are standing up for themselves or standing up for their safety.
Wed, July 9, 2008 - 5:36 PM
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Mon, July 7, 2008 - 3:47 PM
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Mon, May 26, 2008 - 7:34 AM
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Wed, May 7, 2008 - 10:40 AM
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world Siberian tiger population ~450
world Human population ~+6.6 billion
gee
Fri, December 28, 2007 - 11:20 AM
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