My Babble Blog

the best meteor shower watching info page!!!

jahmariposa — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 08:58:59 GMT

http://skytour.homestead.com/met2008.html Major Meteor Showers in 2008 i have been finding this site on google looking for info on various meteor showers for the last 3 years. it rocks! and for me, its the best, most informative, and most helpful. look what it says about the perseids this year! PERSEIDS Predicted Maximum: August 12, 11:30 UT [= Aug. 12, 4:30am PDT; = Aug. 12, 7:30 am EDT]) Moon: Waxing Gibbous (moderate interference) (radiant map from IMO) WHEN TO WATCH: Tuesday morning, August 12, from about 1:00 am until morning twilight gets too bright. The Perseids are probably the most-watched annual meteor shower. The shower has a very long duration, from about July 15 through August 25. The shower is most interesting around its peak on August 12 or 13. This year, the peak comes on August 12 because of the leap year. The radiant is above the horizon the entire night for observers north of latitude 32N, but it is fairly low at the end of evening twilight. Evening Perseid rates are fairly low, and the bright Moon makes things worse this year. The real meat of the show comes during the predawn hours when the Moon is down and the radiant is high. Predawn rates for observers with truly dark skies may exceed 100 Perseids per hour (West Coast of North America and/or Eastern Asia may be favored this year), with a nice sprinkling of sporadic and minor shower meteors added to the mix. Adjacent mornings from August 10 through August 13 are well worth watching, although rates will be significantly lower. Perseids are fast meteors and tend to be fairly bright on average. An occasional fireball is seen.

i have always loved this song. its beautiful. & sometimes it makes me cry.

jahmariposa — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 06:27:01 GMT

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p62rfWxs6a8 "Samson" by Regina Spektor You are my sweetest downfall I loved you first, I loved you first Beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth I have to go, I have to go Your hair was long when we first met Samson went back to bed Not much hair left on his head He ate a slice of wonder bread and went right back to bed And history books forgot about us and the bible didnt mention us The bible didnt mention us, not even once You are my sweetest downfall I loved you first , I loved you first Beneath the stars came falling on our heads But they're just old light They're just old light Your hair was long when we first met Samson came to my bed Told me that my hair was red Told me I was beautiful and came into my bed I cut his hair myself one night A pair of dull scissors and the yellow light He told me that I'd done alright and kissed me till the morning light the morning light and he kissed me till the morning light Samson went back to bed Not much hair left on his head Ate a slice of wonder bread and went right back to bed We couldn't break the columns down No, we couldn't destroy a single one and the history books forgot about us and the bible didnt mention us not even once You are my sweetest downfall I loved you first i just love .."..theyre just old light...." (the stars) something about that.. and of course, "you are my sweetest downfall..i loved you first" i love my sad chick music :)

i'm not perfect, henri nouwen's forgiveness quote applies to us all...

jahmariposa — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 05:17:54 GMT

some of you may recall some rather negative blogs i posted a while back. (i got rid of them long ago) i freaked out. saying shit about how i dont appreciate being used etc etc.. and how i feel bad for the poor person who comes along and actually gives a shit about me because ill be his worst nightmare, he'll never be able to prove to me that he cares because my trust in my judgement has been ruined etc etc. i didnt even realize that i was already in that headspace when i said that. i fuckin snapped and my head totally convinced itself that it was all happening all over again. i put myself right back in some bad place from the past. and this was not the first time that has happened, where i began to believe something shitty was happeneing, that wasnt, because my brain just went ahhh its happening again! durn that amygdala! (the part of your brain that stores all your traumatic experiences...) i broke my own heart thinking about how things someone in past did to me, have now affected people who dont deserve to be punished for it. including myself.. i know i wasnt used. i know someone cares... and not everyone is that person/those people who have wronged me, and like them, im not perfect. and damn, i'm so sorry, not proud, and can i please be forgiven..... i have been forgiven. and i am grateful. and it means the world to me. i have a really good friend in my life and i will never doubt that person again. ;) i just felt like posting something positive after that. and appreciate :) the quote is.... Forgiveness is the name of love practiced among people who love poorly. The hard truth is that all of us love poorly. We need to forgive and be forgiven every day, every hour -- unceasingly. That is the great work of love among the fellowship of the weak that is the human family. ~Henri Nouwen~

The Daily Om: The Energy Of An Embrace (i like this one and i wanna share it here :) & 4/25 - Silent Change & 4/24 The Direction Of Happiness - Leaving A Relationship

jahmariposa — Sun, 27 Apr 2008 17:02:11 GMT

man, the daily om has been exceptionally good the last few days.... just thought id share! April 26, 2008 The Energy Of An Embrace Hugs The need to touch and be touched is established early in our lives, as we develop and grow in the omnipresent embrace of our mother's womb. Once we are born, separated from that sanctuary of connectivity, we begin to crave the physical embrace of our parents. As we age, we become more independent. Yet during times of triumph or trouble and during those moments when we are in need of reassurance, we can't help but long for a hug. Because a hug requires two active participants, each individual taking part in the embrace experiences the pleasure of being embraced and the joy that comes from hugging someone. As both individuals wrap their arms around one another, their energy blends together, and they experience a tangible feeling of togetherness that lingers long after physical contact has been broken. A heart hug is when you put your left arm over someone's shoulder and your right arm around their waist. As they do the same to you, your hearts become aligned with one another other and loving, comforting energy flows between the two of you to flood your souls with feelings of love, caring, and compassion. A hug is a pleasurable way to share your feelings with someone who is important to you. Depending on your relationship with the other person and the kind of message you wish to send to them, a hug can communicate love, friendship, romance, congratulations, support, greeting, and any other sentiment you wish to convey. A hug communicates to others that you are there for them in a positive way. In an instant, a hug can reestablish a bond between long lost friends and comfort those in pain. The next time you hug someone, focus all of your energy into the embrace. You will create a profound connection that infuses your feelings and sentiments into a single beautiful gesture. April 25, 2008 Letting Nature Work Silent Change We all see things about ourselves, our relationships, and our world that we want to change. Often, this desire leads us to take action toward inner work that we need to do or toward some external goal. Sometimes, without any big announcement or momentous shift, we wake up to find that change has happened, seemingly with out us. This can feel like a miracle as we suddenly see that our self-esteem really does seem to be intact, or our partner actually is helping out around the house more. We may even wonder whether all of our hard work had anything to do with it, or if it just happened by way of grace. As humans, sometimes we have relatively short attention spans, and we can easily lose track of time. We may worry about a seedling in a pot with our constant attention and watering for several weeks only to find ourselves enjoying the blooms it offers and wondering when that happened, and how we didn’t notice it. Nature, on the other hand, has infinite patience and stays with a thing all the way through its life. This doesn’t mean that our efforts play no part in the miracle of change—they do. It’s just that they are one small part of the picture that finally results in the flowering of a plant, the shifting of a relationship, the softening of our hearts. The same laws that govern the growth of plants oversee our own internal and external changes. We observe, consider, work, and wonder, tilling the soil of our lives, planting seeds, and tending them. Sometimes the hard part is knowing when to stop and let go, handing it over to the universe. Usually this happens by way of distraction or disruption, our attention being called away to other more pressing concerns. And it is often at these times, when we are not looking, in the silence of nature’s embrace, that the miracle of change happens. Daily Om~Direction of Happiness-Leaving a Relationship April 24, 2008 The Direction Of Happiness Leaving A Relationship (someone i work with should read this) One of the hardest decisions we ever make in life is leaving a long-term relationship that just isn’t working. When attempts at repairing and working out issues aren’t working, it may be time to examine moving on. We are emotional creatures, and when our heartstrings are tied to those of another, separating from that person can feel like an act of courage. It is not something most of us will take lightly, and many of us will struggle with our desire to stay in a relationship that is unfulfilling simply in order to avoid that pain. We may question whether the happiness we seek even exists, and we may wonder if we might be wiser to simply settle where we are, making the best of what we have. On the one hand, we almost relish the idea that true happiness is not out there so that we can avoid the pain of change. On the other hand, we feel within ourselves a yearning to fulfill our desire for relationships that are vital and healing. Ultimately, most of us will follow this call, because deep within ourselves we know that we deserve to be happy. We all deserve to be happy, no matter where we find ourselves in this moment, and we are all justified in moving, like plants toward the light, in the direction that leads to our greatest fulfillment. First, though, we may need to summon the courage to move on from the relationship that appears to be holding us back. Taking the first steps will be hard, but the happiness we find when we have freed ourselves from a situation that is draining our energy will outshine any hardship we undergo to get there. Keeping our eyes trained on the horizon, we begin the work of disentangling ourselves from the relationship that no longer fits. Every step brings us closer to a relationship that will work, and the freedom we need to find the happiness we deserve.

yay! Happy Bunny Zodiac Signs! do yours!

jahmariposa — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 04:20:59 GMT

http://www.itshappybunnybooks.com/ i love happy bunny. and all the shit he talks. heee-larious. the zodiac ones are tame compared to some of his little statements hehe. but its cool all the same. :) enjoy! SAGITTARIUS: YOU: are honest, optimistic and savvy OTHER: Sagittarians are careless, blunt and irresponsible. Also, those OTHER Sagittarians are not terribly welcome at parties--shooting arrows everywhere and clomping around, always asking for hay sandwiches and apologizing the next day for pooping on the lawn. LIKES: Traveling, Freedom and having a person head and a horse body instead of the other way around. DISLIKES: Standing around, fussy people and huge slobs that always want a horsey-back ride.

FEIST IS COMING TO GREEK THEATER IN JULY!!! YAY!

jahmariposa — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 02:31:45 GMT

my girl!! i'm so excited. tix go on sale sunday! weee!!!!

wow im too broke to afford my premium membership

jahmariposa — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 20:40:10 GMT

i have to wait until april 11th to get paid and put money in the bank. so tribe cant get their money. the ads are back seriously im such a financial mess, sorry tribe i cant support you. but you understand tribe, cuz youre broke too, thats why youre asking your friends to give you money. haha (im sorry but shorts designed like that are like, guaranteeing camel toe. are these made by the camel toe camp at burning man?)

i need to BE HERE NOW!

jahmariposa — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 02:30:12 GMT

seriously. man, i was in a funk the last few days. i really need to wake up. i do live in the city by the bay. so summer hasnt begun yet. but it will. and it will be so on. northern cali kicks much ass. i just need to prepare for fun. save some money, take a road trip to mendo, orr, eel river, LAGUNITAS BREWERY BABY!! how weird street faire, spin jams, learn me some hooping tricks. road trip road trips road trips. i have fucking wanderlust!!! maybe i will hit up FnF this summer. who knows. i can do whatever i want. im free.

I WANT HARLEY QUINN!!!!!

jahmariposa — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 04:59:46 GMT

the new batman movie, why oh why wont they bring harley quinn to life..... catwoman ( the michelle pfeiffer one) was hawt. harley quinn!!!!

weee im spinning tonight! mariposa! and kaela! 11:30-12:45

jahmariposa — Sat, 29 Mar 2008 03:47:50 GMT

me and kaela are tag teamin tonight at sf underground (formerly and always in our hearts "the top") 424 haight st b/t fillmore and webster in sf it goes til 2, its $5, its jungle all night, (we are playing oldskool!) weeeeeeeee! come out and get your jungle on!

im developing an unhealthy obsession with amy winehouse's music. mama got talent

jahmariposa — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 04:26:59 GMT

this is one of the reasons: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Un_BmPkNnoM&feature=related and her first album "frank" oh and because she wrote a song with the best sentence in the world - "what kind of FUCKERY is this?" i think fuckery might be my favorite word. then clusterfuck. p.s. and this too! if i ever get to see her live, i want it to be just like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QT-jjsdXOkY

Amazing article that made me decide that if & when I have kids someday I would have a natural childbirth & midwife

jahmariposa — Sun, 23 Mar 2008 08:38:03 GMT

http://www.reclaimingquarterly.org/84/rq-84-midwives.html Reclaiming Quarterly Autumn 2001– Issue #84 Midwives Keep Birth Wild and Sacred by Mary Lou Singleton The phone rings. My three-year-old son sleeps snug and naked between myself and his daddy. I look at the clock (2:17 a.m.) as I stagger out of bed to answer the phone. * Names and some details have been changed to protect client privacy. It's Kelly*, my teenage client, calling. Her water just broke and she sounds scared. I tell her how wonderful it is that her water has broken. This is what she wants, I remind her: to have her baby. I ask her the usual questions and determine that she and her baby are well. The baby is kicking right now, she tells me. We both stop talking to breathe through a contraction. We decide that Kelly will take a warm bath, drink some tea, and try to relax. She will call me when the contractions are four to five minutes apart. I take the phone with me and go lie down in my son's unoccupied bed. I'm dreaming when the phone rings again. 4:10 a.m. It's Kelly's partner, Brett, telling me the contractions are stronger, closer together. Could I come? Now. Please? I tell him I am on my way. I brush my teeth and hair, pull on clothes, leave my husband a love note, and I'm off. Driving, I ground and center. I pray to Hecate to bless Kelly and to inspire me to serve her in the best way possible. I arrive at Kelly's house and gather my equipment. When I walk through the door, I sense fear. Kelly is in the midst of a contraction. Pink mucous and fluid trickle down her legs. She makes a loud, high-pitched noise. The contraction ends and I walk over to hug Kelly. "What a beautiful job you're doing," I tell her as I rub her shoulders and let her weight fall onto mine. I think back to my own births and remember the relief I felt when my midwives arrived. I remember relaxing into the knowledge that they could hold the tension while I focused on birthing. I am honored that Kelly allows me to hold this space for her as I feel some of the stress and fear fade from her body. I listen to the baby's heartbeat, which sounds strong and steady. I give Kelly sips of juice. Her contractions come every three minutes and last more than one minute each. She relaxes well between them but still fights during the pain. I encourage her to make her voice low during the contractions, to vocalize from a place deep within herself. "Let your voice merge with the pain. Let the baby move through you. Let yourself open," I tell her. The sun rises. Brett goes to fill the birth tub. Kelly and I walk and breathe. We dance and breathe. I sing, Kelly moans, and we breathe. Kelly moves through fear, through frustration, through tears. The pain is bigger than anything she could have imagined. "I can't do it," she says. "You are doing it," I say. Kelly has reached her max. She's done, she says. She doesn't want to do this anymore. The pain is too much. She can't handle one more contraction. And just as she finishes telling me that she wants out, the next contraction brings the urge to bear down. It's time to push. Hope fills the room that only moments ago was soaked in Kelly's despair. Kelly moves to the birth tub (an inflatable kiddie pool filled with hot water). I call Julia, my midwifery partner, and ask her to join me at this birth. I set up my equipment and return to Kelly's side. She pushes beautifully. She pushes so hard she vomits. "Good," I tell her. "That's good." She pushes and a small flower of blood blooms in the water between her legs. I nod my head and smile. Julia walks in, kisses Kelly gently on the forehead, and sits quietly beside the tub. She takes over the job of listening to the baby's heart rate. We can see a bit of the baby's head with the next push. Ten pushes later, Kelly is crowning. Her eyes are wild. "It burns," she screams. Julia takes Kelly's hands and directs them to her yoni, which bulges hugely with the baby's head. Kelly instantly relaxes and smiles. She shifts from trying to escape to committing to move through this experience. "Ease your baby's head out," I say. "Easy." Six minutes later the baby's head slides gently into Kelly's hands. I carefully reach into Kelly's body to feel for a cord around the baby's neck. Finding none, I sit back and breathe and smile. The room pulses as we wait for the next contraction. After a very long two minutes, the expulsive life force surges again and Kelly releases her baby into her waiting hands and the hands of her partner. She instinctively pulls the baby out of the water and onto her chest. Julia and I are quiet and very alert. I feel the baby's umbilical cord, which pulses strongly. Julia gently lays a hand on the baby and feels the chest expanding. This baby doesn't need to cry to breathe. Everyone else in the room, however, does cry. Through tears, I watch the baby's womb-blue color fade to pink. The baby is between the worlds: still genderless, breathing air and being fed by the placenta. The new parents are ecstatic, falling fast and hard in love with their baby. Kelly glows with her own power. She has been transformed from maiden into mother and there is no going back. Kelly is lucky. She lives in a state where midwifery is licensed and accessible. New Mexico's Medicaid program paid for her homebirth. Most women in the United States are less fortunate. The freedom to choose where and with whom to give birth is a rare privilege. Medicaid covers out-of-hospital birth in only three states, and women and midwives in these areas must constantly fight to maintain this coverage. Homebirth midwifery remains illegal in 16 states. All around the country midwives stand trial and serve jail time for "practicing medicine without a license." Many women who desire a homebirth cannot find a midwife in their area to attend them. Even in the most midwifery-friendly areas of the nation, women must fight strong anti-homebirth attitudes to choose to birth their babies at home. On a biological level, birthing represents our reason for living, the pinnacle of the life cycle. And yet in our society, birth is experienced by most families as a technological and medical event, fraught with the possibility of disaster. Currently, 25 percent of babies born in the United States are surgically cut from their mothers' bodies. Another 60 percent are born to mothers who are numb from the waist down and tangled in a web of tubes and wires. In the midst of all of this technology, the United States maintains one of the highest rates of neonatal mortality among all developed nations. Even more horrifically, the U.S. is the only industrialized country in which maternal mortality (the number of women dying from pregnancy-related causes) has increased over the past 20 years. How we give birth reflects how we live. We are all members of a culture steeped in technological excess; a culture built on the tenet that nature is dangerous and must be controlled. We eat food grown through the use of biological, chemical, and mechanical engineering. We live in cities where the sky glows all night and the temperature inside our buildings is a constant 72 degrees. Our homes are powered with the energy of dammed rivers and split atoms. Most of us feel completely removed from the sources which sustain our lives and upon which we are forever dependent: the sun, the soil, the flowing waters. Is it any wonder that we believe we cannot bring forth our babies without technological assistance? In 1900, the majority of American women gave birth at home, usually attended by midwives. By 1960, 99 percent of women gave birth in hospitals, nearly all of them attended by doctors. This societal change in place of birth didn't happen because hospital birth was safer and resulted in better outcomes than homebirth. No study at any time period has shown hospital birth to be safer than homebirth for healthy women. In fact, when women started birthing en masse in the hospital, maternal and neonatal mortality both skyrocketed. The cultural move toward hospitalized birth happened due to an orchestrated campaign by the medical establishment to eradicate the profession of midwifery and turn normal pregnancy and birth into pathological conditions. In the late 1800's, doctors already had decided that they could expand their practices and power by turning normal childbirth into a medical event. Faculty members at medical schools publicly lamented that young doctors were not receiving training in attending childbirth because the "teaching material" was missing from the hospital learning sites. Obstetricians expressed outrage that their profession did not receive its due respect because of public acceptance of midwifery. One prominent obstetrician writing in 1915 summarized the problem as such: "Obstetrics is held in disdain by the profession and the public. The public reason correctly. If uneducated women of the lowest class may practice obstetrics... attendance at a birth must require very little knowledge and skill — surely it cannot belong to the science and art of medicine." 1 Doctors developed a calculated plan to eliminate midwifery. During the years between 1910 and 1920, a time when women did not yet have the right to vote, obstetricians pressured states to pass laws criminalizing the profession of midwifery. Many of these laws remain in effect today. The medical establishment also began a public education campaign aimed at convincing people that pregnancy and birth were inherently dangerous medical conditions best managed by physicians. No evidence existed to support this position. In fact, doctors at this time possessed a large body of literature showing that women and their babies died far more frequently when treated by doctors than when cared for by midwives. The campaign to eliminate midwifery happened to improve the positition of obstetricians, not to better the lives of women and children. Unfortunately, the campaign succeeded. By 1920, only 15 percent of women birthed their babies with the help of midwives. 2 Obstetricians had successfully convinced women that their bodies couldn't be trusted to birth their babies safely. Worse yet, they had convinced themselves the same thing. Because of their disdain for midwives, doctors were not interested in learning about normal birth from the women who knew the most about it. With the eradication of midwifery, immeasurable amounts of birth wisdom were lost. Obstetricians were left trying to medically manage a wild process. They began relying more and more on technology because of their inherent fear and distrust of birth. Women no longer gave birth. Doctors "delivered babies." By the 1950s, obstetricians routinely anaesthetized all laboring women and pulled their babies out with forceps. Women experienced themselves as passive participants in what could have been the most empowering events of their lives. The medicalization of birth has probably done more to increase the power of the medical-industrial complex than any other development. Dr. Marsden Wagner, the former director of the World Health Organization's Maternal and Child Medicine Department, explained the issue well when he said, "The first time I attended a homebirth, it scared the hell out of me. I had never seen a woman so powerful. Birth is power. And if you take that power away from a woman and put it on the doctors, you've got her for life. She's going to come to you every time she has menstrual cramps, every time her kid has the sniffles." In the late 1960s and early 1970s many women around the country began organizing to reclaim the power of birth. People began to inform themselves about the benefits of unmedicated childbirth and breastfeeding. Fathers fought for the right to be included at the births of their children after decades of being arbitrarily alienated from the process. Questioning not just medicated birth but the wisdom of routinely hospitalizing healthy women, thousands of women decided to birth their babies in their own homes attended by women who had relearned the art of midwifery. The modern natural birth movement was born. It may appear as though great progress has been made toward humanizing hospital birth in the past several decades. Today, most hospitals offer pretty-looking birth rooms where mothers can be accompanied by their partners. Care providers offer to read women's "birth plans" and hospitals purchase squatting bars and birthing balls. If you look below the surface, though, it becomes evident that modern hospital birth rarely empowers women. Very few women manage to avoid drugs and interventions during their births. Hospital protocols still hold mothers to standardized ideas of "normal" progress and women who deviate from these standards receive artificial hormones to speed up their labors. More women are seriously injured during the birth process today than were 30 years ago. In 1970, the caesarean section rate in the U.S. was less than 5 percent. Today, 25 percent of women experience birth as major abdominal surgery. This five-fold increase in the cesarean rate has done nothing to improve our country's abyssmally high rate of neonatal mortality. Factoring out technlogical advances that save many severely premature infants, the same number of babies and more mothers die during and soon after childbirth as did 20 years ago. Every expectant family desires the safest possible passage through birth for both mother and child. These families are often shocked to learn that giving birth in a hospital environment designed to monitor and control the birth process does not improve the quality or safety of birth. In fact, study after study conducted on the issue has shown that for healthy women with low- to moderate-risk pregnancies, giving birth in a hospital is actually less safe than giving birth at home with a trained midwife. One comparitive study matched more than 1000 women planning to birth at home with the same number of women planning hospital births. The women were matched for age, number of previous births, economic status, and medical risk factors. Women in the homebirth group who transfered to the hospital due to complications remained in the homebirth group for analysis. The results of the study showed that planned hospital birth resulted in greater numbers of birth injuries, maternal and infant infections, hemmorhages, and low apgar scores than planned, midwife-attended homebirth. 3 Many other studies support these findings and no study has ever proven hospital birth to be safer than planned, midwife-attended homebirth. 4 Anyone observing other mammals giving birth can intuit why homebirth results in better outcomes than hospital birth for healthy women. Imagine taking your laboring cat on a car ride to the vet to give birth. In nature mammals instinctively seek out quiet, dark, familiar places to give birth; their labors stop if their space is disturbed. Humans also birth best in privacy, and a woman's own home is often the ideal place to create such surroundings. Most women innately choose to move around during labor, finding the most comfortable positions in which to give birth. At a homebirth, midwives encourage such position changes and a woman's freedom of movement is limited only by the size of her house and yard. Midwives offer women the choices of laboring and birthing in water, delivering their babies with their own hands, or having the father catch. After the birth, mother and infant may bond without interruption. Homebirth also allows for greater sibling involvement in the birth process. If the parents desire, older children can be present at the births of their new siblings. From an ecological perspective, homebirth presents a sustainable alternative to hospital birthing. The medical industry produces some of the most toxic waste currently poisoning our environment. Nearly all of the supplies used in the hospital, including the gowns worn by the doctor or midwife attending the birth, are made of plastic and thrown away after one use. The plastic bags and tubing used to administer the IV fluids that most birthing women receive contain pthalates which are known carcinogens and endocrine disrupters. These chemicals enter the environment when waste is incinerated or buried in landfills. Additionally, millions of women are given antibiotics during their labors. These antibiotics and other drugs are then released into the water supply through urination. The overuse of antibiotics leads to the development of antibiotic-resistant bacteria, an increasingly deadly problem in modern society. In addition to these ecological issues, our nation's limited medical resources could better be put to use serving the millions of people without access to basic medical care if our doctors and nurses were not busy attending healthy women unnecessarily birthing in hospitals. Giving birth at home helps bring our lives into greater balance with nature. As living creatures, we can trust that nature has designed the process of birth to be beneficial rather than harmful to us and our offspring. Women who birth at home and the midwives who attend them understand that birth is as safe as life ever gets, and that attempts to control birth usually cause more complications than they prevent. Far from being a medical event which must be suffered in order to receive a baby, a midwife-attended homebirth is a sacred rite of passage where a woman turns into a mother and a baby enters the world. Notes 1 Gibson, Faith. "The 100-Year War to Eliminate the Midwife." Presented at the Midwives Alliance of North America Annual Conference, 1999. 2 ibid. 3 Mehl, Lewis, et al. "Outcomes of Elective Homebirths." Journal of Reproductive Medicine. November, 1977: 281-290. 4 Olsen, Ole. "Meta-analysis of the Safety of Homebirth." Birth. Volume 24, Issue 1, March 1997. Mary Lou Singleton is a Witchy mama, midwife, and herbalist living in Albuquerque. She can be contacted at (505) 266-5762 or aural@swcp.com Resources To find a midwife: • Midwifery Today — www.midwiferytoday.com • Gentle Birth — www.gentlebirth.org/archives/bestcare.html#Midwives • Birth Partners — www.birthpartners.com Info on Homebirth and Midwifery • The Midwives Alliance of North America — www.mana.org, (888) 923-MANA (6262) — also referrals for midwives by phone • Citizens for Midwifery — www.cfmidwifery.org — (888) CFM-4880 • www.goodnewsnet.org • www.gentlebirth.org • www.compleatmother.com • www.mothering.com • www.waterbirth.org

life decisions decisions and pursuing my real goals

jahmariposa — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 05:51:28 GMT

well, i cant have everything, but i sorta can because the job i have rocks i was freaking out and feeling overwhelmed today about the job stuff - my current job expressed how valuable i am and offered me a raise to stay because the other job would be a conflict of interest. i got stellar advice from a good friend ;) , who rocks for doing the math and thus proving my case that i will make more money staying where i am at getting paid less hourly, than i would working less hours and getting paid more hourly.....does that make sense? if not dont worry about it, trust me it makes sense. i get paid so much more in happiness and freedom where i am at and that means sooo much to me. plus, what i really want to do with my life is be a dog walker. and there is a position available with a place in sf that actually provides a van for work! myself and my boss at my current job both feel that i should pursue that. i appreciate my friend for tryig to help me get this other job and the people there seemed great, but i havent had a strong feeling about doing it, and i need to do things for me, that make me happy. thats what i learned in my saturn return. and i learned that when i do what i feel is right for me to be happy, i win. :)

interview went well!

jahmariposa — Sun, 09 Mar 2008 23:35:07 GMT

id be working in the bath and beauty and supplement area, which im pretty pleased about! and i think they were into the fact that im at home surrounded by the products in the dept and i know my shit, not an expert but i am lost in a safeway because i cant find what they have. im a nat food store veteran.and its my lifestyle so...yeah. i voiced my non availability on weekends, esp due to my current job since i would only be working part time there, i work weekends... and my other job, burning man gate in aug-sept, and im out of town 2 weekends in april. :P shit i forgot lib, well ill tellt hem. now i will wait about 2 weeks for them to go over the schedule and see what shifts they can offer me and if it can work out with my other job. i cant believe i didnt ask about the pay. just because the person who referred me was told $15/hr doesnt exactlty mean thats entirely true...i cant imagine them paying me $15/hr to be a general, non managing clerk in the health dept... we'll see.

i have a job interview today and im so drained, mentally, spiritually,emotionally...

jahmariposa — Sun, 09 Mar 2008 18:44:40 GMT

all week long has been hell. i have been hurt and upset and have had to go to work every day. didnt get to really sit and process things uninterupted and in my safe space, at home. no i had to go make myself presentable and give a shit about people's soap gift and be pleasant and not fall apart in tears when songs come on the radio that hit too close to home. exhausting. today is my day off.. but i scheduled this interview today and i wish i pushed to have it thursday instead of today. i just want to recharge and rest, and again i have to make myself presentable and be confident and show how kick ass i am..and be tough and stand my ground about my availability and my loyalty to my current job too. i have to go to work again tomorrow. i dont really get to enjoy a "weekend" until next weekend. sorry for the wah wah wah, but i just needed to whine about it. sometimes i feel like, "when will it ever end?" theres always some crap i have to deal with. i miss when i was super stoked and happy. these last 3-4 months have been rough. im nervous about this interview. its for a part time job, but pays $15/hr some of you may say im stupid, but if all they want me to work is weekends...i dont want to do it. theyre just gonna hate me eventually when i keep asking for weekends off...there are 5 other days of the week i can work...those 2 days, i ca nt do. im stubborn, but letting my life pass me by for retail jobs never got me anywhere. wish me luck. i need to stop being so negative. :( if something good and to look forward to happened again maybe i wouldnt be so negative. i know, i need to be able to make myself happy. its been hard lately, i have had nothing to work with. nothing but obstacles and letdowns... it took me 3 months to pay off an overdraft and a phone bill while paying rent and making little money. i cant believe i finally made it. 3 more days and i get to actually enjoy my paycheck! ok now i need to go make myself presentable and job interview savvy.

world pillow fight day (sf not participating :( )

jahmariposa — Sat, 08 Mar 2008 09:07:58 GMT

http://www.pillowfightday.com/howto.php thought i would post this link so people elsewhere who were envious of sf's annual valentine's day pillow fight could now enjoy a pillow fight in their town. now we can envy you since for some reason because of tradition we (sf) arent participating in this one. the rebel in me says fuck that. who in sf wants to have a pillow fight!? actually, fuck that, how bout oakland has their own damn pillow fight! i missed the one on valentines day. im free march 22. lets do it. an oaklandish pillow fight......

im premium now!

jahmariposa — Fri, 07 Mar 2008 03:54:40 GMT

whats up with tribechat... anyone on there? havent quite figured it all out yet....guess i have to add your names?

if you dont have anything nice to say, dont say anything at all....

jahmariposa — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 03:35:11 GMT

remember your parents and/or grandparents telling you that when you were younger? im trying to apply that right now, and i may as well take a vow of silence. i had a much more unpleasant blog written involving bad things that i saw happen to kittens on my way home from work, but i decided not to drag everyone down with me.

eat drink and be merry, for tomorrow we'll die

jahmariposa — Sat, 23 Feb 2008 09:53:32 GMT

im officially depressed. www.zeitgeistmovie.com what i want to know is... though these statements they are making are mindblowing... are they backed up? has anyone checked their facts? im open to any ideas. its pretty fucking mindblowing. i was reluctant at first, but im glad i saw it. though it lived up to exactly why i put it off so long. makes you go fuck, and get sad and angry and be really disappointed. and yes, i even cried. the future looks depressing. fucking microchips planted in our bodies and in passports fuck that!!! i gotta get outta here! what has happened to our beautiful planet? when is the uprising!? seriously! i'll make sure i get the day off from work.;p we're in the age of pisces...when the hell is the age of aquarius gonna start already.

the garden of make believe!!!!!

jahmariposa — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 23:01:44 GMT

i used to watch this show when i was really little and i loved it!!!!! i thought id never see it again. and no one ever knew what i was talking about. id go on about the chuckle patch and the story box that would open and close its lid when it had a story! sigh yay !! if you want to see what im talking about i have it on my profile page. i believe its my hippie roots and is partly responsible for who i am today. hehe enjoy! i guess they have a website www.carolandpaula.com

twisted valentines day cards that arent trying to be. shudder. wow im bitter.

jahmariposa — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 19:32:00 GMT

what the hell is that? ok, baby cows become veal. its fucked up.the end. thats twisted to depict a very happy baby cow expressing how it would veal so happy to be your valentine. just twisted. i found that while searching google images for a particular postcard valentine we have at my work, so i could show everyone and rant about it. it depicts "cupid the cook!" holding a silver platter with a cute heart shaped heart with flowers around it, as if he is serving you an entree, and it says " how about a nice warm heart with orange blossoms". ummm when i saw that postcard i immediately thought it was a little weird and visualized cupid covered in blood, serving an actual gory human heart. they just made the same idea a little nicer looking. i then had the idea that i should make gory valentines with people giving away their actual bloody hearts. and give those to my friends :) my gory valentine's day. im not usually that dark and twisted, but it did amuse me. whats disturbingly twisted about baby cows smiling about veal and cupid serving a heart for dinner is that they arent trying to be disturbing. its supposed to be cute. yeah im kinda bitter and celebrate some kind of anti-valentine's day. i remind people that it used to be a roman celebration called lupercalia, and was not all cutesy, then the christians came along and made it st valentines blah blah and now its a hallmark and candy money making holiday where people feel pressured to show their love and many couples end up fighting because it wasnt perfect or whatever expectations werent met etc etc. im a hopeless romantic, i can love like that 365 days a year. valentines day is just another day. just like "buy nothing day" in november. i miss my girls that used to celebrate "barf on valentine's day" with me. hehe.

just got back from RRRREEEEEEEEEMMMAAAAAAARRRCC!

jahmariposa — Sun, 20 Jan 2008 12:22:23 GMT

dude, i just love ruckus old skool classic jungle and ragga jungle. not drum and bass. fucking JUNGLE! i am a JUNGLIST! fucking remarc played his first us set, in sf thank you very much! big up frankie for making that happen the coolest thing was, that he didnt play the same tired old new shit that we hear all the time. hes fucking rem,arc, he played what made us lose our shit. what we love him for. it saddens me when we bring out a bad ass and they play the same old shit. give us what we love you for. and he delivered the classic lighter deservin shit. man we need to wake up on our rewinds man, thanks max for smackin us. some songs just need to be rewound! "its so nice, i wanna hear the same song twice.."-bradley nowell on that note, im puttin my tired danced out ayuss to bed. hopefully my adrenaline will calm down so i can actually sleep. naw, i think once my head hots the pillow, im out. on that note- im out :) :) :)

i the ing *****! edited

jahmariposa — Thu, 17 Jan 2008 07:19:22 GMT

this is an edited version of the original post. i dont want to be arrested. i have been censored. nuff said i know im not alone. and i dont think i need to really give many reasons its pretty obvious ** ***** here's the latest www.wvec.com/news/topsto...9f64280.html i cried when i saw that on the news i need to start paying more attention to the presidential candidate info. if only it were in words i could understand. seriously what language is that in those ballot information booklets?

reflecting on 2007. what a fucking great year

jahmariposa — Mon, 07 Jan 2008 01:44:24 GMT

when i was at burning man 2007 i had a little revelation during the temple burn. i noticed that i was reflecting on the year much like people do on new years eve. i looked back on the year since the last temple burn. how i had grown, where i was currently at. i had nothing to cry for during the burn. i hadnt really done the whole looking back on the year thing yet. im doing it now. dec was a rough month. and new years eve was strange, new years day i was exhausted and sad. ive been feeling a little better especially since i have stopped and taken a look back on 2007. unlike 2005 and 6, which had their good moments but also their really bad moments which left me asking for a refund, 2007 was actually fucking great. seriously! moontribe positive revelation in march, while on acid i realized that i had finally begun to live life the way i wanted to, how i should! began to get over some pains got let go from a job i hated with unemployment began to have amazing summer spent lots of time with someone special, hadnt felt that feeling in a long time. genuinely happy times. despite burning man's oddness i still had an awesome time. i fostered a cat and her kittens! (she is now my cat) got a job i like! i can have a life outside of work! those are some highlights. but all in all, i had a really good year. and im happy about that. i have no regrets. im blessed much luv to all my friends

NOW THATS WHAT I'M TALKIN BOUT!!! (so much for my break from tribe)

jahmariposa — Thu, 03 Jan 2008 07:41:02 GMT

so much for my break from tribe, i lasted about oh maybe a few days. but for someone who literally logs in to tribe multiple times a day every day, i think i did good. hehe had a weird fuckin new years eve, but i read my horoscopes and fuck yeah!!! thats what i'm talkin bout!!! its about time is all i have to say. im so juiced i decided to share. astro.com kicks ass. Personal Daily Horoscope of Wednesday, 2 January 2008 for Kristen, born 27 November 1976 ©Astrodienst AG Attracting money Valid during several weeks: This influence can have several effects, often quite subtle. It can stimulate the sexual side of existing relationships and give love relationships a greater intensity. This is because sex goes beyond the physical act and becomes a vehicle for self- transformation and inward change. A love relationship that begins under this influence will be intense throughout its duration and will have a greater impact, for better or worse, on your life than other relationships. This influence may attract money to you through your partner, a business partner or through a bank or other public financial institution, without any special effort on your part. Obviously, this is a good time to seek a loan or other financial support. The interpretation above is for your transit selected for today: Venus in the 8th House 8, activity period from 1 January 2008 to 20 January 2008. (yeah i skipped ahead for these!) Personal Daily Horoscope of Thursday, 3 January 2008 for Kristen, born 27 November 1976 ©Astrodienst AG Daydreaming *** Valid during many months: This influence will make it easier for you to contact the world of your dreams and fantasies. This may not be especially apparent when carrying out your daily routine, except perhaps if your occupation allows you to express your creative side in some way. If this is the case, this could be an inspirational time in which you could feel unable to keep track of the overwhelming flood of images emerging from your unconscious. This time will also be positive for you if your work involves caring for those suffering from physical and emotional pain, because it makes you more sensitive, helping you to understand many of the underlying causes of human suffering which are incomprehensible to the rational mind. This influence will also help you to better understand problematic issues which you would usually rather ignore. It would probably do you good to get away from the rough and tumble of everyday life occasionally, giving your mind the chance to wander. Images from your childhood and adolescence could come to you during times of withdrawal, and these could bring back both beautiful and painful memories. This soothing time will help you see painful memories in a new light, making it easier for you to forgive those people who hurt you. Releasing yourself from your inner hurt will also increase your sense of freedom. The interpretation above is for your transit selected for today: Chiron Sextile Neptune , exact at 08:04 activity period from beginning of March 2007 until middle of January 2008. Personal Daily Horoscope of Thursday, 3 January 2008 for Kristen, born 27 November 1976 ©Astrodienst AG Learning to trust *** Valid during many months: Under this influence you will become increasingly aware that all the truly important events in your life occur without your conscious intervention. This will help you to act with more calm and composure in those areas where you had difficulties in the past or found it hard to make any headway. You should now find it easier to deal with things in a relaxed manner, not brooding so morosely over your own failings and inadequacies. This will also help you to be more understanding when others make mistakes, making you more forgiving. Most people's perception contains blind spots which shield them from some of their deeper and more complex emotions which would otherwise reduce their ability to cope with everyday life. Under this influence you could have the opportunity to come to terms with some of the darker and more hidden influences of your nature, without falling into a state of despair and depression. You are also now more able to get to the bottom of any sexual problems you may have. Your increased intuition will help you to receive and interpret the images and dreams rising from your unconsious which would otherwise remain unnoticed. These will help you to become aware of hurt which you have suppressed since your childhood and adolescence, which can initiate the process of healing. And, provided that you can remain trusting and open, you may now receive healing energy from a wide variety of sources. Transit selected for today (by user): Chiron Trine Pluto , activity period from beginning of March 2007 until middle of January 2008. Personal Daily Horoscope of Thursday, 3 January 2008 for Kristen, born 27 November 1976 ©Astrodienst AG Departures from the past *** Valid during many months: This influence will considerably enliven your social life and relationships. You will have opportunities for different kinds of encounters with others, and you will form new friendships and perhaps a new love interest. All of these new relationships will be different from your old ones, and all, even the love relationships, will give you and your partners more freedom. You are not inclined to be jealous and emotionally possessive during this time, and you demand that others be equally free with you. You are seeking new kinds of experience with people, and you need to be free to have them. Your new relationships may have an unusual quality that makes them departures from the past. You may be attracted to people from a very different social background or to people who are older or younger than you; or a relationship may begin under unusual conditions. A relationship formed at this time can be long lasting, but only if it continues to have the freedom, spontaneity and interest that attracted you in the first place. During this time you may also become involved in unusual social activities, doing things for entertainment that you don't normally do. And that is precisely why you want to do them. If your life is like most people's, you are seeking to break out of the routine that has dominated it, and you are trying to do this through your relationships, an area where most people quickly fall into habits. If you are willing to see it, this transit can show you the whole range of potential for experience with other people. You will have the chance to find out exactly what kind of social contacts you need, and you will be able to choose all your relationships more intelligently. Transit selected for today (by user): Uranus Sextile Venus , activity period from middle of March 2007 until beginning of February 2008. Personal Daily Horoscope of Thursday, 3 January 2008 for Kristen, born 27 November 1976 ©Astrodienst AG A higher quality *** Valid during many months: This is a time of creative change in your relationships. You have the opportunity to be either the agent of the changes or the object of them. Probably you will be both to some extent. On the other hand you may experience an increase in personal power with this influence. You will have the chance to exert an influence on others either because you are in a position of some power or because your own personal vibration influences people and changes their lives. However, it is important to use this power for the general good, because it does not adapt well to purely egoistic purposes. During this time you will seek a higher quality and greater intensity in all your experiences. You are not even remotely attracted to superficial qualities, either in people or in experiences. You need to feel with every ounce of your emotion that every encounter changes you at the deepest core of your being. To this end you may draw people to you who are very intense and who have a very strong effect upon your mind. However, with this influence these relationships are usually quite constructive rather than difficult. Even under the best of conditions, some of what you learn about yourself may not be very pleasant until you learn to accept it, but it usually isn't so bad, even if you think it is. Under any circumstances the overall effect of these encounters is to broaden your self-understanding and increase your capacity for complete self-expression. There may be changes in your life at this time, and your relationships may be considerably altered, but this is only so that you may experience a regeneration that will keep your life from becoming stale and dead. Transit selected for today (by user): Pluto Trine Ascendant , activity period from end of February 2007 until middle of September 2009. *********************************************************************************** fuckin crazy man, i see where and how some of that played a part in the time between march and now...and i have hope for the near future! those were my long term influences. below are the short term ones im diggin. hee hee **************************************************************************************** Personal Daily Horoscope of Thursday, 3 January 2008 for Kristen, born 27 November 1976 ©Astrodienst AG Physical passion * This influence arouses a strong attraction to and desire to be with someone. You will be much more aggressive than usual in going out and finding a partner. This influence is often a sign of physical passion. Under this influence a sexual relationship is very satisfying to both partners. Even without sex, you will be very happy with other people. You feel more vivacious and attractive than usual and may well be the life of the party. You will work hard to gain the approval of others during this time, so strong is your need for affection. Artistic activity is also indicated, for the general significance of this influence is self- expression through creativity and love. Transit selected for today (by user): Venus Conjunction Mars , exact at 13:56 activity period from 2 January 2008 to 4 January 2008. okay this next one i can unfortunately relate to. its not so good i get depressed, but good to be reminded that its not all as bad as it seems, and my internal negativism needs to chill the fuck out, and stop thinking the worst. :P and good that its only fleeting! A fleeting depression Weak, transient effect: This influence can indicate a period of fleeting depression. This morning you are inclined to feel lonely and out of touch with others. Sometimes you have a pronounced sense that no one loves you, whether or not it is true. It is very important to realize that your moods and sensations under this influence often do not reflect reality, even though they seem to. One area where you can have real trouble is in relationships. You will find it unusually difficult to relate emotionally to another person during this time. Either you are caught up in internal negativism, or you feel so cold and insensitive that you do not register signals from other people very well. This in turn leads to failures of communication and genuine misunderstandings. Obviously this is not a good time to become involved in an emotionally delicate situation. Transit selected for today (by user): Moon Square Saturn , exact at 06:44 activity period from 2 January 2008 to 3 January 2008. yay! A reasonably pleasant time Weak, transient effect: This morning you want to be with your friends and the people you love. This influence helps to ensure that you will have a reasonably pleasant time with them. Feelings of love and friendship may build in all areas of your life now, and you feel that life is richer and a little more rewarding. It is a good time to have friends to your home for entertainment. You are able to make them feel good, and they will appreciate it, for you make it clear that you care about them. In general, your home situation and immediate environment will be the sources of your greatest satisfaction during this period. Your light and cheerful mood will be picked up by everyone around you, too. However, you should be careful not to become passive. Transit selected for today (by user): Moon Sextile Venus , exact at 05:06 activity period from 2 January 2008 to 3 January 2008. hmm Asserting your freedom Weak, transient effect: This influence stimulates your drive for personal freedom, and if you feel free and unencumbered, you will probably behave quite irresponsibly in other people's eyes. The more you feel that people are trying to hold you back or make you toe the line, the more you will resist. The same applies to relationships. If your partner in a love relationship tries to be possessive or limit your freedom, you will resist. And a dispute could arise from your assertion of freedom. On a very different level, this influence can manifest itself as a feeling of spiritual disquiet, a mood in which you question your fundamental goals and aspirations. And, indeed this is a good time to look at your life in this way. What you learn will be very important to you. Transit selected for today (by user): Moon Opposition Jupiter , exact at 22:51 activity period from 3 January 2008 to 4 January 2008. if you made it this far, wow! thanks! if not oh well. hehe. i just love good horoscopes. :)