This time...I mean it! I'm going to start posting much more often here!

Things haven't been so great this last year since I posted in this blog. I lost my mom to lung cancer, for starters. She was diagnosed last November, found to be terminal in December, and passed on in February. It was gut wrenching to watch my mom deteriorate so quickly over such a short period of time. I'm having a difficult time accepting it fully, and my sister is having an even harder time with things. Add my now six year old niece to the mix, and things get even tougher.

So I'm pretty much on my own now, except that I am the only one helping to take care of my elderly aunt. I am holding two jobs right now, mainly to help pay off a loan my mom took out when we moved and one that I co-signed for. I am still at my security job, and now I am working in electronics at Wal-Mart. Yes, the monster snagged me in, sad to say. But it's not so bad, but it could be a lot better.

I haven't been able to do much writing lately. I plan on getting back into it next month with NaNoWriMo. This year, it's an erotic novel that I am still in the planning stages at the moment.

Well, that's it for now. I'll probably write more in the near future. Perhaps Thursday when I'm off from Wally World again. See ya!

It's been one year since I last posted a blog here

I've been to my second Dragon*Con in that time, as well as completed yet another 100 chapters in 100 days project.

Still writing, but have been very hit or miss with it.

Been in a relationship and out of one (it broke up last Sunday). Don't know when I'll be in another one.

So I'm back to see about starting things up again on Tribe. I was very active here from 2003-2004 before I deleted my old account for some stupid reason I don't remember (probably my last ex).

I'm going to be doing my second NaNoWriMo again this November. I completed one last year, but I am still working on finishing it up for publishing.

Other than that, not much has been going on.

So I'm back. :)

My time in the insane asylum known as Dragon*Con

The people with whom I was to travel with to the massive geekfest known as Dragon*Con arrived at around 9:30am on Thursday, September 1st and we loaded up and headed out. Rick, his fiancee Brooke (who freaked me out a little because she sounded a LOT like Carla and sort of favored her, but I got over it soon enough, mainly because I doubt Carla would ever do the ninja thing), and their friend John (aka The Man with 1000 Games In A Case) stopped by a local Wal-Mart, where we managed to fill up the big ass van they had before heading out (we didn't have to fuel up again until we were close to the Georgia/SC line on the way back, because they had two gas tanks on that baby). Unfortunately, while the van was cool, especially with computer that John had installed in the van, the van lacked air conditioning and we all pretty much got the sauna treatment on the way there.

We arrived in the ATL around 4pm and soon checked in, then went over to the Hilton (the new site for registration) to pick up our badges. I had planned to meet some people for a walk-over to the Varsity, but I had been up for near 24 hours and crashed despite myself around 9pm.

Woke up fairly early the next morning to eat breakfast at the City Diner and then head over to the convention to do some exploring before the whole thing got underway at 1pm. The first event I went to was the opener to the British track, Did You Miss Us?, which was pretty cool. Not much happened there, as it was more of an introduction as to what was coming up in the track this weekend.

The next event was The Trek Trak Show with Marina Sirtis and LeVar Burton, which was very cool. The guy who ran the Star Trek track, Eric Watts, hosted the event (he was ok, but Leno and Letterman shouldn't sweat him) and it was very interesting to say the least. They both looked great, especially Marina, who's still hot in her 40s. Except for a few racy comments (nothing spectacular though), it wasn't really that surprising, but it was nonetheless enjoyable.

Following that was my first (but not last) encounter with the Whose Line Is It Anyway? competition that the Brit track was showcasing. A guy by the name of Steve Racer (dressed in a Speed Racer costume), won it going away and proved to be the clear favorite in the competition. The host was great as well as the judges, and it seemed like everyone entered had a good time regardless of the outcome.

Then it was on to The New Battlestar Galactica panel, which was missing Jamie Bamber (Lee "Apollo" Adama) and James Callis (Gaius Baltar), who were recalled to the Galactica set in Vancouver. However, Richard Hatch was there, and he gave us word that Tricia Helfer (Number Six) was going to replace Bamber and Callis. Not a bad 1 for 2 deal, if I do say so myself. Richard was cool, and he explained his feelings about the new series and how he felt about playing Tom Zarek on the new series. For those of you who don't know, Hatch played Apollo in the original back in the late 70s.

From there, it was on to one of the two Babylon 5 panels I was on: B5: Mindwalkers. It dealt with telepaths, and it was a pretty good panel. Sabrina Becker, Stephanie Souders (who ran a "shadow" Babylon 5 track which, sadly, I wasn't able to attend) and Bill McIntire really blew my doors off with their knowledge. I didn't say a whole lot, not because I didn't have anything to say, but I just couldn't get a word in edgewise! Frankly, considering what Sabrina, Stephanie and Bill brought to the table, maybe that was a good thing!

I had intended to stop by An Evening in Bree and see if I could find my LJ friend tolkieneowyn there, but my body, still drained from the ride down and staying up 24 hours plus the day before and along with that damned stomach bug that wouldn't allow me to eat much that weekend, I went back to the room to rest a bit so I could go to the 10pm Whose Line panel. I did make it to the panel, but only stayed halfway through it because my tummy was being a real bastard and I had to make a few trips to the bathroom (It's a little TMI, so I'll pass on describing what was happening). So it was back to the room, and I had to sacrifice seeing some cool Babylon 5 music videos, as well as a few other things, for some rest.

Saturday dawned and I awoke well before the others (who came in around 4am, I think), so I got ready and, again, ate breakfast down at the City Diner. I ate more than I had the day before, so I did feel better that morning. 10am was my conundrum, because there were three events I wanted to attend: the D*C parade (which I missed and should have attended), the D*C Yahoo group gathering (which was probably going to be short so they could see the parade anyway), but I chose seeing the Battlestar Galactica:Sitrep (for those who don't know, "sitrep" is short for "situation report") panel, mainly because I knew Tricia Helfer was going to be on it. Or so I thought, until I found out that, due to a miscommunication, she didn't show up there. So I was pissed about that and went back briefly to the hotel room to take a break, then it was on to the 1pm Whose Line panel, which was just as good as the ones the day before. However, no one showed me that they were better than Steve Racer.

2:30pm was spent just walking around the Marriott, taking in the art show and the dealers room. I only bought a D*C t-shirt, but not for lack of want. If I had won the lottery, I probably would have filled about three rooms of stuff that I would have bought. Never did find the ConSuite like I had wanted to (stupid me never thought to ask), so I headed back to the Brit track room to hang out before the next Whose Line panel got started. That panel was very good as well, and, since I had signed up for the 8:30pm panel, I was fully expecting to have some fun, despite the fact that I had more of a chance to score with Tricia Helfer than of winning the panel.

I stayed in the Brit track room for the Red Dwarf panel, which had Hattie Hayridge, who played the "female" computer Holly in the British Sci-fi comedy. She was very cool, and none too bad looking if I do say so myself. She's a stand-up comic these days, and, while we didn't get to see much of her performance, I got the feeling that if I were to see her perform, she'd probably have me, as well as a great many others, rolling in the floor laughing.

Well, 7pm came around, and instead of staying and watching the game show panel, The Enemy Within, I went back to the room to grab a bite to eat and to rest a little bit. I dozed off and next thing I know, it's 7am in the morning on Sunday! Can you say pissed? Not only did I miss my Whose Line panel, but I missed the Monty Python panel as well as the "shadow" Babylon 5 track, including a fan fiction panel where I wanted to pimp my Crossing Lines crossover epic (www.fanfiction.net/s/2465729/1/), as well as flirt with the host of the panel, Stephanie Souders (who I hope doesn't have a boyfriend at next year's D*C so I can really flirt with her then! lol!).

So when I (finally) woke up on Sunday, I went to the Star Trek vs. The New Battlestar Galactica panel, which had a couple of Star Trek experts on it as well as Tricia Helfer and Richard Hatch from the new BSG. Very cool panel, as the verdict was that while Trek (if and when it comes back) shouldn't become "Star Trek: Galactica", it should take a few lessons from the new series as well as others who have become successful (Hatch scored some major points with me by knowing a lot about Babylon 5) in the 90s and in the new century. Tricia looked really beautiful and she was very well spoken, but subsequently broke many a man's heart by stating that, not only was she married, but that said husband was with her at the convention. Lucky bastard!

From there it was on to the Classic American Sci-Fi track panel, Sci-Fi from the 1970s to the 1990s. It was pretty cool, but not really very informative as it was mainly a nostalgic look back at some of the sci-fi movies and TV series of that age. Then it was on to the Brit track next door for Crossing The Pond, which gave me plenty of info about planning a trip to England. Can you say bed and breakfast and trains?

Then it was onto Battlestar Galactica: The Old and The New, which, it turns out, was just a Q&A session with Tricia Helfer, as I think Richard Hatch had to take a break (the man was EVERYWHERE at the con!). Not that the panel was a bad one at all, as I learned a lot more about the woman who plays Number Six on TV. She is from western Canada, and didn't watch much TV growing up, but her dad was a huge Star Trek and Star Wars fan. She hasn't been in acting long, but she comes across as someone who won't fit into the typical model-slash-actress stereotype. She's damn good as Six, and I would have loved to have seen James Callis ("Baltar") there so I could have seen the interaction between them, as Helfer said that Callis is, in real life, a very modest man. She did tell of a story where Callis showed off a little more than he had intended while they were shooting a scene where she was naked in bed, covered with a sheet, and he was sitting across from the bed wearing only a towel and briefs. Let's just say the briefs didn't cover him as completely as he would have liked.

Then it was on to the semifinals of the Whose Line competition, which was even cooler because the filk singer, Tom Smith, provided some musical accompaniment to the first competition, which was won by Steve Racer. Both semis were good, but Steve Racer was just too damn good.

From there, it was time for a break, as I went back to the hotel for some rest and some food. Then it was back to the Hyatt for the finals in the ballroom, which was packed. Sadly, I wasn't able to stay to see if Steve Racer won because of a Babylon 5 panel I was supposed to go to, and I debated internally about whether or not to ditch that panel to catch the finale of the final. It was here that the director of the British track announced, to the chagrin of those there, that the time for the competition would be cut in half next year. Hopefully he'll have a change of heart because it was damn good and I hope to catch it again next year. One of those helping out with the track, a gal whose name escapes me at the moment, had the idea of doing an overnight thing next year with it. If they do, I'll take whatever I have to take to stay up for that one!

Good thing I didn't miss the panel on Babylon 5, because it was damn good. It was called "Not All Genocides Are Created Equal", and I was once again floored by the passion that Sabrina, Stephanie (who proposed the panel) and Bill brought to the debate, as well as that of the audience. I once again didn't say much, frankly because the audience was doing an outstanding job of contributing to the discussion. I hope they bring it back next year, and this time I'll be smart and just stay in the audience, because there were a lot of times when I felt like just pulling someone out of the audience to take my place at the table!

I wanted to stay and mingle, but my body was saying "time for bed or I make you collapse right here", so I chose to go back to the room to sleep on my rollaway. On Thursday when we got into the room, I selflessly gave up the claim to the other bed to John who had driven us down, and my back has been pissed at me ever since, as well as my kidneys, The rollaway was a piece of crap, and I think part of the reason my weekend wasn't as good as I wanted it to be was the fact that I chose to get the rollaway instead of just sleeping on the floor (I have a reason for that, which I'd rather not go into, because it's sort of personal). John, Brooke, and Rick were very cool, and they brought a ton of food with them (Rick makes some kick ass lasagna and chili, by the way). The only reason I ate at the City Diner for breakfast was to not wake them up.

Monday was moving day, and the only time I got pissed at the three was packing up the van, because it caused me to miss An Hour With Marina Sirtis panel. Then again, I do come from the Pete Golden (the advisor to the Sigma Chi chapter of the Phi Theta Kappa honor society which I was in back in college) School of Packing Your Stuff Up Quickly And Getting The Frak Out Of Town, so I am used to not taking a long time in packing stuff up. We did manage to get out of there before they could charge us for another night (I wouldn't have minded except my wallet was kinda getting empty), and I did make it in time to catch a British panel, but since it seemed that all except the gal in the hat whose name escapes me (which is a shame because she was cute but she had a boyfriend) was running it. So I went on early to another Richard Hatch panel and was impressed again by him. Let's just say that the naked gay guy in the first Survivor should change his name because he is nowhere near the man that the old "Apollo" is! I should have went next door and caught the second half of a panel with Erin Gray (Buck Rogers) and Melody Anderson (Flash Gordon), but I was tired and I was thirsty, so I sat in the empty room and drank plenty of water while I rested.

After that panel was over with, I was going to go to the closing ceremonies, but it seems that the Mighty Atlanta Rasslin Players had decided to hijack it with their musical (which was good but I was tired and I wanted to get home, so I didn't pay much attention to it). So I waited on my three other roomies to get done with what they were doing in the lobby of the Hyatt, which looked rather barren given what had gone on that weekend. However, there was this one girl in a white dress who seemed to stay in one of the elevators (the Hyatt has elevators where you can see out the back of because the hotel is built with balconies) forever, and I was wondering if she was a mental case or just messing with people. Who knows!

Anyhow, I got back home around 9:30pm and, after unpacking and catching up on tons of emails (I took my computer but didn't think to actually use the thing), I hit the bed.

Lessons learned for next year's D*C:
1) Get the body in shape for it!
2) Take plenty of vitamins so the immune system is in tip top shape
3) Don't stay up 24+ hours the day before the con starts
4) Plan breaks for Valen's sake instead of taking them and being pissed at yourself at missing out on panels
5) Find the frickin' ConSuite so I don't have to go back to the room for a break!

All in all, I had a great time, despite the bug and the bad bed (which was my fault for getting the rollaway). It was very overwhelming, but I am already looking forward to doing it again next year.

Losing my Dragon*Con Virginity

Well, I'm finally going to make it to the Big Show this year! The Big Show being Dragon*Con (www.dragoncon.org/), which will be from September 2-5, 2005. I've taken up the offer from some very cool people from Ohio to join them for that weekend. We'll arrive there sometime Thursday evening and leave sometime Monday morning.

I am so psyched that it's not even funny! I've been wanting to go for the last couple of years, but money and other things have always gotten in my way. Last year, I had to sacrifice a trip to D*C so I could meet up with my then-girlfriend with whom I was in a long distance relationship with at the time. In 2003, I had to abandon my plans due to being laid off from my job, and in 2002 I had to scrap it because of an incident at the site I worked at caused me to have to be transferred to a site where my hours were severely reduced.

This time, though, the stars have aligned and the heavens have agreed that it is time to make my debut at the biggest science fiction and popular arts convention in the country, if not the world. I'll be there for pretty much the entirety of the convention (with the exception of late Monday), so expect to see my rather large bulk dressed in a t-shirt and jeans. I'm not doing any costuming this time around, as I am going to mainly focus on meeting people and finding out what all the fuss about Dragon*Con is.

Right now, my plans are to mainly focus on the British Programming Track, with some Star Trek, Electronic Frontiers Forums, and whatever else I can find that interests me. I may do some gaming as well, because I would like to find a game that interests me and where I can find some local people to hook up with for some gaming.

39 days and counting until the big day! lol

Saturday at home...not a bad time at all!

It's been a lazy Saturday around mi casa today. Friday, I went out and splurged a bit on myself and bought some PS2 games. Couple of WWE wrestling games, NCAA March Madness, NBA Live, and NCAA Final Four made up my purchase from GameStop, and I have to say that the two WWE games kick ass! It's always nice to come home after a stressful night at work, or anytime when I am stressed out, pop in one of those wrestling games, and go to town on some bad guy in a hardcore match.

I began video gaming a long time ago, when my mom picked up an Atari system back in the early 1980s. This was around the time the system was waning in popularity and the games became super cheap. By the time I got rid of it, I had well over 100 games, many purchased from a local Revco pharmacy who had them for a buck fifty to two dollars each.

The next step up (I usually forget the Sega Master system because it deserves forgetting) was the Nintendo Entertainment System. Once again, my mom bought it at the tail end of its popularity (she got it for my 18th birthday in 1989) and I once again loaded up on games. My faves were Track & Field and Track & Field 2, as well as Tecmo Bowl.

Around 1995, I picked up Sega Genesis and Super Nintendo, and promptly bought sports game after sports game. I soon fell for the Madden NFL football series, as well as the NHL games. Of course, I also grabbed up the Summer and Winter Olympic style games and wasted many hours trying to master each event. I think that because of all of this, I am doomed to arthritis in my hands when I get older.

For my Christmas present in 1999, my sister surprised me with a Playstation. My interest in video gaming tends to wane, and this was a pleasant surprise. Since PS2 had already been introduced, the prices for PS1 games dropped greatly, and I made out like a bandit. I stocked up on $20 or less games and soon had a very impressive collection of sports games. I soon found out that, while they were not ever really able to surpass EA Sports, 989 Sports neverthless had a very good selection of sports games. My faves were NFL Gameday and NHL FaceOFF, as well as NCAA Final Four 1999, where I took the college I have been planning to transfer to, Appalachian State University, to five straight NCAA titles.

I expanded my collection with soccer games, and really loved the FIFA series. With some of the PS1 games, you could create your own teams, and I spent a lot of time making the fantasy teams of my childhood come to life. While a bit limited, it was still fun to finally see the Forest City Hornets play the Ellenboro Outlaws in someplace other than my old backyard.

This past March, I got myself an early birthday present (my b-day is May 8th). With my tax refund, I purchased a Playstation 2, as well as Madden 2005 and NCAA Football 2005 to go along with it. I was shocked that I could create 32 teams on Madden, and spent one spring Sunday evening re-creating the old Rutherford County Football League. Four teams had to be left out, but I managed to get the right balance. So now I can go back in time and play out the rivalries I imagined as a child in my backyard, seeing the Bostic Mustangs clash with the Ellenboro Outlaws, following the Forest City Hornets as they travel to the hostile enviroment where the Ruth Wildcats reside, and so on and so forth.

Oh, sad to say that NCAA Football only allows for you to create 12 teams, but at least my URC-FC Snowheels can play against some of their Big 16 Conference Rivals. Spindale State won the RCAA title (in the way it's meant to be played, in a playoff), then went on to whip USC for the unified national championship in college football.

I don't play video games that often anymore. I usually go in spurts, sometimes playing a lot in one week, not even touching it for a couple of more. I don't really get into the whole dynasty modes, although I do play around a bit with them. Basically, I like to pick up a game, pick my team and my opponent, and simply beat the crap out of them. I'm not ashamed to say that I play on the easiest level and run up the score if I get the chance.

Now if I could only meet a hot woman who was as much as sports gaming freak as I am!

You've got your ups, you've got your downs, and you've got your in-betweens

One thing I have realized about life is that there is no set pattern to it. As much as you want to have a set outline for how your life should go, it always seems like a monkey wrench gets thrown into the mix.

Take for example the plans I had with my now ex-fiancee. If all had gone according to plan, she and I would be living in Boone, NC, right now, with her three kids and giddy with the prospect of starting a long future together. I would be in summer school up at Appalachian State University, just starting my pursuit of my teaching degree. She would have worked full time and been the main breadwinner for a year, then she would be considered a resident of the state and thus eligible for in-state tuition.

Of course those plans fell though, as I am still sitting in my humble apartment in my hometown and I haven't heard from my ex since March. It took me a while to come to terms with all of this, but now I feel the upsurge of positivism coming into my life.

You see, it's so easy to stay down in the valley of despair and wallow around in one's misery. Believe me, I've done plenty of that in my life. It's harder to pick yourself off, dust yourself off, and get back in the game of life. This is something that I fear the younger generation won't be able to handle (I'll save that for another post in the future), and even those of us who are older have a tough time with it.

Sometimes you just have to get knocked down to see what you are made of, and to see what you have to do in order to find out what you must do to be the person you want to be. I'm going through that now, and it's hard, but, for the first time in my life, I can see that it's doable.

So, what has Jason been up to lately?

For those of you who have been on Tribe a while and may stumble upon this profile, I used to be known as Jason Derek Wildstar. However, I got burned out with Tribe and I was going through some tough times, so like a dumbass I deleted my old account. For a long time, I didn't even come around here because I just didn't feel like being social.

That's all changing. I'm putting the pain of the breakup of my engagement behind me and I am moving on with my life. I have a few prospects out there (both male and female, since I'm bisexual), but nothing serious yet. It does look like I have a decent chance of finally losing my "gay virginity" (for lack of a better term), but we'll have to see if that pans out. The guy's pretty cool, and he's not looking for a relationship with a guy either, which is perfect, as I don't think I'm ready for a relationship with a guy just yet.

I've been doing a lot of writing lately, including a massive 100 chapters in 100 days project that I am three-quarters of the way through.

There's other stuff, but I'm sleepy and I need to hit the sack. See ya!

About time Tribe got one of these things!

I usually blog over at LJ, but I've made that friends only. Looks like this might just be the place to post my public blog! lol

That's it for now! More to come soon!