i am thinking. and distant because of. meditating.

I have a perspective, and from my view i sight reflection. in the image is the world around me, seen differently, my minds eye sees through the flesh and absorbs light and energy as my skin feals the warmth of the sun, and as i open my eyes, and the world comes into focus, i am not aware of what i see. as the rcepters in my eyes regain their composure all the color i see fades, too and fro as they ween slowly into the state of nomal. i, in my minds eye, am still in the reflection, thinking of things past, in relation too, and then things future. As a magnifieing glass bends the suns rays and focus' to a point, the mirror my tool focus'the sun, and my eye, the point, i am in that state, in that way. assesing. pondering. discovering the paridine, finding the question, objectifing the paradox, pandora's box. i am at a pause as i observe the spinning of the world around me. with my eye balls fuctioning i see not, lost in this eye that holds no flesh, that i can not open or close, the eye that hears. i have a perspective. a place to view my world, i see it as a reflection. thats what i am doing. re-experianceing re-learning, growing, i am re-accessing information, and re-acting to my development and transformation. i am on the recoil, spiraling in before i get spun out. i am absorbing energy like warmth from the sun. recharging my batteries my stamina and reservses. i am reflecting. i am the mirror, i am the world, and i am aware. i am going somewhere- thats why i need to see, what i cant even though its right in front of me.

.

repost of SKILLZ

i refer to my self as " a usefull enging " and i am the " houseboy ", i have been called McGyver and i am " built like a mack truck ", but most of all, "helping hands"

what area do i work in
location, right now i am out of sf, but i am from the dc metro area
right now i am bm project building (forman) and maintaining an event space
area as in field of work
i have been an electrician for about 10 years, yes i did start yung
and i have strong ties to framing construction, trim/fiish costruction, a/v + instalations and setups
i am good with plumbing and ok with duct, sheet and flex
i drywall but take way to long to do it, paint, lay tile, brick, stone and block
i am you advanced DIYer and a hell of a handy man,
i am the best consultant for costruction
i design all kinds of shit too.

points of interest
at 16 i was paid to go to high school, to do vocational trainging
at that age i was aprenticeship cirtified in va for carpenty and masonry
i also built a 1.6 million doller home
was paid for desighns by my teachers in school
tought classes and tutored
and started working profesionaly in multiple fields

i have worked for big name companys and governments
tropicana, pepsi cola, whole foods, wal-mart, disney, victoria secret, pizza hut, many resterants- tuto bennies, brinklys, commercial spaces like office buildings, appartment buildings, many pools, malls, high rizes,salons, hair studios, saunas as well as industrial, shell mobil exxon texico, mable and granite distributers and whole salers, also into forengn governments (embassys), millitary baces, federal buildings, muesams and research facilities, like the smithsonian, testing facilities where they do some cool radiation/on brain testing - thats the fun stuff, and much much more

i have worked on
switch gears the size of small apartments- some scary shit
600 amp services enough to know my way around them 400amp sevices enough to know to have a helper learn them, and 200 amp services galore.
i have worked with exlpotion proof equipment
buck boost transformeers
electro magnetic filters
radio freqency filters
shielded rooms
hard core grounding systems
fire prvention and restoration
water pervention and restoration
insulated ground systems
480 volt equipment the size of small trucks
bose cirtified installer and distributer
lutron cirtifide dimming specialist
i have built custom uncut natural stone showers with dual heads, heat lamps, exaust fans, and the works
full on high deff, a/v setups
design and installed (but not fabricated) custom air handler exhanger systems
rebuilt drum breaks
installed crossed drilled roters and replaced calipers
rebuilt carbs
built deaks
landscape lighting, out door lighting, security lighting,
i have built compleate fountans pump piping stone bed pond and lights
i fix doors, lay hardwood floors, paint, patch
and and and
i do/ have done alot.


something i have never done is earthquake retofitting, and welding, and i dont work on a/c units (well the non electrical stuff neways)

i lead, i fallow, i train, i learn, i do top secret work, and i fix toilets, i am a jack of all trades, and almost a master of a few.

i am also very picky, i havent worked a 9 to 5 in a year, becase i havent found a place i like,
so thats my skillz off the top of my head.

come to me baby

hurrayy,
i am led to believe a old copy of my birth cirtificte is on the way, it is being mailed today. i cant waint, (well i have been and am and will continue to), its been so many months that i havent had an id, this will be great, finally i can make some headway. i can smell progress comming, and yes i do know there is some ruff karma headed my way but when i take the next to steps back, ill take an extra one so i can move forward steadily fo r a good long while. mmm i can finally get some legitimate money and make changes for myself, finally finnally ffffiiiiinnnnannaaaaalllly, change is comming and iwill make it good. the ball is rolling

Portishead, dummy, dummy remixes, i chill (wondering star)

"Please could you stay a while to share my grief,
for its such a lovely day
to have to always feal this way,
and the time i will suffer less,
is when i never have to wake.

Wondering stars,
for whom it is reserved,
the blackness,
of darkness,
forever.

Wondering stars,
for whom it is reserved,
the blackness,
of darkness,
forever.

those who have seen the neadles i now tread
are like a house from,
wich was all that now has fled
and the masks,
that the monsters wear,
to feed,
apon their
brain.

Wondering stars,
for whom it is reserved,
the blackness,
of darkness,
forever.

Wondering stars,
for whom it is reserved,
the blackness,
of darkness,
forever.

(shady part)

i vvv rrr
e owww hip
look above
i wonlt let this...

it dont this ..
to my...
comming out
SHADOW
CASE WHAT EVER
SAID AND DONE
I WILL
RISE UP

doubled up inside
take a while to sharew my grief
always doubled up inside
taunded
ooo ooooo

Wondering stars,
for whom it is reserved,
the blackness,
of darkness,
forever.

Wondering stars,
for whom it is reserved,
the blackness,
of darkness,
forever."


i feal this, whatever it is. all the time
it gives me hope, and envokes my demons.
its amazing what music/poetry can do
i am adicted to it (for years), the original too,
the remix is just a new vice

poetry temptation

down load my head
undesstand my communication
there is an echo
the cycle of reverberation
like my goast
my constant contemplation
where from
this alein nation
those aware
get it, abrivieation
the sun the moon and the stars
easy observation
visions in the asfalt
of every constalation
i am ready
for devine insperation
but i am hung up
on the instalation

the first public speaking i have ever done, i read this, at ELYSEUM

Well as the night comes to a close I squint my eyes and wiggle my nose as I take another puff, and ponder the paradox of this stuff, the why the do I the point of die the bit of high, I question the content of my head as I ready myself for bed and I log my thoughts to you, and wonder why is that what I do, who am I to project unto thy, whom arête thou, doest I know how, to perceive what’s being transmitted, or am I to self committed, to not know what’s really real, and living in my fantasy feel. Ego ignorance or fucking utopia and bliss, so I ask of you, of something honestly to do, can you mirror me, back, true reality. Can you feel what I am, concept conveyed bam wonder what good is the answer if there is no use, negative thought is cancer of the truth. So why do I try, existence means not to die, but that’s too to the point its not the reason to hit the joint, there’s a context in between, distance synapses un seen, its the journey of thought on its lurk cheating out space time and work, mathematical, philosophy, unconditional, theology, the senses of all perceptions are looking for there particular attentions, everything is there for intention oh and did I mention, we are all one, that’s us having fun, the tree falls silent when there is not ground no end to the start and there is no sound, but if there is a reaction, to the falling action, like the earths surface, is this worth this, shall I save my ego wrap it up and go, shut down and feel fear, or shall I persevere, me presenting, we resenting see, I could be right there, be, worrying about do I care, initiation of contemplation, flirtation with meditation, did I get it across, divine light like the big boss, I just want a legacy, of someone like you to simply understand me, to see that of what I am, not of what I can, for you to be of a fan of this random singular man, is that so humble, don’t mumble, express that you can know, or get up do something else go, just be true, just be you, ill be me and I will always and forever wonder, until someone else makes that thunder, when it flows back and I here the plan, when I get that you understand, will I find that slice of the pie, or implode and die, could that blow a vortex of nothing, from this I ask something, just to here you say, anything really come on and play, if you have the answer like watching the flame spirit dancer, I would be so pleased to know, who are you really though. Ill reiterate, without you is to infinite meditate, and that situation of my debate, isn’t that odd I could be talking to a god, so who am I, and why ask why

Change

I have felt the goddess energy all around me, the Uranian goddess of Aquarius at that, and it has put me in my place. I am transitioning into my own and things... life is a little different. I don’t know what is going on in this, time of change, but I know that it is here now for me. Lots of stuff is going on internally that I hope translate out in good taste. As my third eye awakens as it has before, it is doing so with fresh perspective. I am still me, as I forever will be, but I am evolving. Into what I am becoming, hmmm, a wiser, better, more whole, more rounded person.... perhaps, maybe not. But I trust that my experiences are improvements so I have no reason to doubt. I am not going to surrender to the fear of uncertainty, or the ego, but I am surrendering my hart and bringing the vulnerable me out. I will wear my hart on one sleeve and wear my weakness on the other, and by doing so, be a true me, true to myself. Temptation is, damnation not, regret no, love yes, and bliss in my little world is peace for my soul, and hell is the place where I must go... not the hell as in the after life place where Satan rains pain for those who sin, but hell as in trials and tribulations. I accept the coming of the challenges I face and yes I do tremble with shaky knees and a week stomach, but I stand true never the less, with the courage of my god lighting my way. I welcome the inevitable journey, the path that takes me to my self, the road of raucousness as some would say. I have to use my power of this being I am, as all other man. I must make myself what I want for myself, not selfishness, but growth. I feel energy building up inside, positive and negative, but the majority if not all good. I worry that I will fall on my face and about the consequences of taking two steps back, because I know what dark space I held before, and I know that I cant go back to that place. I feel the change coming, and realize that I am not even there. yet everyday a piece of me is changed forever. But the change, this transition is big. Its not the time of the year, its not the time for a new routine, not the time for enlightenment, not the time for a specific change, but all change the all shift, a total evolution, in my own revolution. I feel the anxiety brewing inside, I feel the fear of aw, I feel the power the energy, but where I am going and where this is taking me is the unknown... I am me, ever me I will always be, my perception the way I see, on my path of destiny, I am in my own, for myself to be know, for my world to be shown, and for me to sit on my throne. Existing as I am, doing what I can, being me a man, knowing my plan. To be all that I feel I should, to be all that I would, always wondering if I could, be the Jason, living god and sun, of john’s son, living for my son. Rise to transition, feel my own position, giving my transmission, on my quest of mission. The question has been why, I know not to die, unto me unto thy, angels and fairies fly, as I whisper the thought aloud, one being in the human crowd, only myself I make proud, as my prayer flows beyond the highest cloud, I know, where I must go, how I must flow, to and fro, in and out, untouched by doubt, not a pout, but a true hymn, a song for him, not a curse of sin, but a lullaby of love, I send above, as the symbol of a dove, given the wings to fly free, as my hart will be, not trapped by the worldly, of that of holy, the really real, the big deal, the what I feel, as many have said before, non of them you should ignore, my truth is a bore, but its not a chore, I will say this one word, one that you have herd, I am that hippie nerd, but I am not absurd... just love. Love is the word. Love is the world, love is existents, love is bliss, love is the destination, love is contemplation, love is, experience what it is. And make all space a better place. I know why, I know my own, I know my throne, I know my home, home is where the hart is, home is where the love is. Home is my castle and my throne is not above as a king, no, not like that but as yours at my table, you have a chare in my fable, as we all sit equally, all exist peacefully, and we all share beautifully, the on true thing of absolute abundance, love.

love is a funny word

LOVE

Love is a funny word

This random woman I know, whom I love and care about thought me something that I felt the need to share. She thought me something about myself that that I didn’t know. She thought me about love and a way to perceive love. I perceived love to be only a positive energy, but now my views have changed. I thought that love was always flowing and knowing love was just taping in. I thought the constant flow was just a positive flowing source. I didn’t think that love used energy- implying that the use of love energy was negatively charged. I see this now thanks to her broadening my horizons. Love uses energy, as it is energy. For every positive there is a negative, a balance. So to check the theory about love I used the opposite. So we discussed hate. As hate I perceived to be a negative flowing energy from the source, I found there is a positive aspect as well. So love is positive and negative as hate is both positive and negative. I had never really thought of this logical culmination of thought, this so simple concept. It just never crossed my mind. This perspective is enlightening. Now that I understand that love can be negative- by negative I mean that it uses energy to create energy. I fathom that the constant flow is traveling both into and out of the source. The next logical thing I come to grips with, that I understood from long ago, witch will further the point, is the source, the vessel in witch love is perceived, needs love, the negative and gives love the positive. So this is good to know since I believe this statement to be true and correct, I owe her for changing my opinion because the view I previously had seemed to be lacking. This knowledge is useful. In what way…. Hmm. Lets see. It’s useful to know that for all the loving that is being done, it takes love to love. The negative love is a release of energy flowing to create positive love. The work it is to love, the pain, the trials, the experience, is an aspect that is a part of the whole. By that movement of energy I believe in (the negative to positive) adds that much more meaning.

(+-) - = (+-) + and can not = 0
(+-) q < 0 < (+-) q
hate<perception<love

Co-creation, god I love it
J
Thank you vita for rocking my world