How A Humble Young Man Assumed His Place....

...As the Greatest Looking Author Since Byron:

I was born literate in 7 languages. We know this because there were 4 nurses and 3 wise men at my birth all of varying decent and they all attest that after being wiped off I thanked them for their attendence and answered Lewis Carrol's age old riddle that had been troubling me since 2nd trimester: "How is a raven like a writer's desk?" There's a B in both, I declared in 7 languages and one and all wept. The nurses were marginally attractive (Swedish, Puerto Rican, and Italian *somewhat* respectively) and I suppose my tongue at that early stage lacked the obscene elequence it aquired soon after. That's when I learned a highly important lesson:

Chicks dig guys who get riddles. With that first gang rape on the first day of my life, the path was forged.

SF is a nice place. And soon, bery bery soon, it must be departed for LA.

The reading for LA is The Tribal Cafe on the 16th at 730pm, 1651 W. Temple (X-street is Union) Echo Park is very nearby. Anybody who can make it is welcome.

Brin/Jefe

Jefe

DATES FOR SHIPWRECKING IN SF & LA

12TH-15TH SF, 16TH-20TH LA.

anybody who knows places to stay for me and the guy i'm traveling with---i'll buy a drink for if they can hook me up.

lemme know. be fun to see some happy faces along the way on this little tour.

brin

WEST COAST TOUR

portland, SF, LA starting on the 9th thro till the 18th. by train.

open to best pitches for coffee along the way.

brin

EURO BEACH PARTY FUNDRAISER!!!

Cheap booze, speedos (I may even wear leopard print if i can find them), topless chicks (tops optional at least), bizarre circus freak musical acts (actually an internationally renowned jazz pianist, Paul Plimley with a traveling minstrell gypsy guitarist named BARRY KULAN WHO YOU WILL ADORE)---a whole lotta fun. Next Friday, Vancouver, all the infos on the photo I've provided. Hope to see anybody and everybody there.

Brin

West Coast Book Tour in August...

I'm prepared to read in back alleys and on top of moving tractors.

If any of you guys know literary folks---bookstore owners preferably---along the coast gimme their email addresses. I want contacts so I can hit up some towns along the west coast toward LA from Vancouver. I'm willing to accept white women who own bookstores aswell and if I get drunk I might sign copies of my book for them.

A fucking book tour. Not the worst way to spend a coupla weeks, huh? Even if I'm reading to 7 girls from Uganda!

Jefe the touring

My first death threat...

Here's a response to my sober think-piece on gays I received this morning at 5:24 AM:

"not only do you look like you belong in prison, you look like you should be fucked up the ass there as well. You ever bring your judgemental christian shit online again I'll personally come looking for you you big ugly thing.

PS Jesus Christ died a fucking long time ago....with 2.6 billion people in the world you focus on an a dead guy? Do is a favor and just kill yourself and go to your "God" and get off this planet you peice of shit..."

2.6 billion? That seems like a rather low estimate. Unless you're talking 1960 or something. "Big ugly thing"? But I thought you said the prison population at least would dig me? Mixed messages here.

Jefe the threatened

BOOKS

10 books left over from first print run after last night's reading. If you want some I'll send them off on monday.

Email me at brinfriesen@yahoo.com and we'll work out the paypal shit if you're stateside. The books are $24. I think shipping's around 5 bucks.

Lemme know.

Jefe

book reading

vancouver, spartacus books, 7pm, 29th of june, cambie and hastings. i'm performing naked in anticipation of a 17 page photo spread in play girl (it's one of those panoramic shots to take in all the literary glory/majesty).

any and all are welcome to attend.

the space is small but cozy. the harem is providing security.

Slide...

Lonesome brain/heart fart...

FREE MUMBIA UPDATE...

Even for my tastes this is out there---ALBERT MUMBIA has just been confirmed as a contestant at the world's FIRST all-Christian, mud bath, gangbang, foot-fuck-in, MARY MAGDELENE-ATHON. Apparently it's a response to the Divinci Code.

Says ALBERT MUMBIA: "I want this MARY MAGDELENE to wash my feet with her hair. It's risk-free behavior. Then I, ALBERT MUMBIA, 4 honorary doctorates and all, will insert a toe and we cry out together for freedom. I became involved in this ordeal because I knew a relative of MARY MAGDELENE who died in a plane crash who left behind a great deal of money that our treasury will claim if...

ALBERT MUMBIA everybody! FREE this man (endowed, articulate, *wears* his suits)