i just got back from a radical faerie gathering at breitenbush hotsprings resort in oregon. part of the callout went as follows:
"as queer men, we live in a world circumscribed by heterosexual norms; a world that sees us, even when it sees us kindly, as a marginalized "other." at a breitenbush radical faerie event, we ARE the norm. we define our experience, display elaborate affections and manifest parts of our nature that we hide in the dominant culture. a faerie gathering is experimental, exploratory, open to improvisation. freed from the judgement and confines of our real world experience, surrounded by loving and affectionate men, we feel the shudder of release, the recognition of a part of ourselves that we held in abeyance. creativity and humanity, generosity and warmth, the sense of play that is so essential to our gay nature, the two-spirit humanity that makes us unique on this planet - all these gifts begin to flow..."
there were many highlights for me at this gathering. of course, the lithium infused (naturally) hotsprings themselves were amazing. soaking in them day after day i felt a sense of peace and tranquiltiy i have not felt for a while. and the surrounding scenery was equally stunning. old growth douglas fir and cedar lined the breitenbush river. snow capped mountains dotted the background. divine.
every day between breakfast and lunch there was a heart circle. listening to my brothers speak from their heart, telling their stories, was truly profound. some elders talked of their growing up in a time when it was still illegal to be a homosexual, and it was also considered a mental disease. there were also many tragic stories of growing up with AIDS in the 1980s. one elder keeps a list of all his friends that have died of AIDS. the list is now over 150 names. hearing the commonalities of my brothers, of the losses, the vulnerability, the alienation, the tribulations, but also of the power and magic we share as gay men was healing, opening, and just so real.
the first day at the gathering i participated in a traditional sweat lodge. with 31 of my faerie brothers, we went through four rounds together, crying, singing, chanting, praying, releasing and sweating together. it was so beautiful. afterwards, in a talking circle, we listened to and supported each other as we shared our experiences.
there were also two talent shows at the gathering, with drag queens, story telling (i busted out the lorax...), dancing, singing, and other performances. such talent! and costumes. and fabulousness...
and no gathering is complete without a huge bonfire by the river. we sang, danced naked around the fire, drummed up a storm, and marked our bodies with charcoal.
well, the best part of the gathering is the connections i make with my fellow faeries. and of course, touching, kissing, holding and being held, and staring into one another's eyes. this is why i keep going back to these gatherings. looking back, i think my life would be profoundly different had i not found the faeries in 2000 at wolf creek. just knowing that a tribe exists of queer men who gather regularly to share, heal, create magic, and explore what it means to be queer and spiritual, makes me so fucking happy! at this gathering, i felt like i was spending time with 165 shamans. profound! god bless the faeries.

having felt like an outsider most of my adolescent life, and partially into adulthood, i felt a response to the following excerpt:
jamake highwater's "the mythology of transgression" is a brilliant and eloquent analysis of the phenomenon of outsiderhood - of people who stand outside of society's boundaries for whatever reason: their appearance, ethnic heritage, beliefs, or, like myself, sexual orientation. he writes:
people who exist at the margins of society are very much like alice in wonderland. they are not required to make the tough decision to risk their lives by emparking on an adventure of self discovery. they have already been thrust beyond the city's walls that keep ordinary people at a safe distance from the unknown. for at least some outsiders, "alienation" has destroyed traditional presumptions of identity and opened the mythic hero's path to the possibility of discovery. what outsiders discover in their adventures on the other side of the looking glass is the courage to repudiate self-contempt and recognize their "alienation" as a precious gift of freedom from arbitrary norms that they did not make and did not sanction. at the moment a person questions the validity of the rules, the victim is no longer a victim.