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My Blog
Dangerous Curves....
Thu, May 29, 2008 - 7:46 AM
I'm thinking in the Dance community we've got a lot of body image issues. Tall, short, thin, curvy -all kinds of excuses to put ourselves down. I know there was a movement for a community diet and exercise program and I'm wondering if there was a place to get together and just vent/chat/comiserate about our various image issues. A place to get together and reassure ourselves that we are not alone, there are others who have to over come negitve "tapes" that they play to themselves and get their fannys on stage and perform. I freely admit to being a dragon of insecurity before a performance and even worse after one. I've gotten it a little more under control, but I'm a long way from healthy. :)
On line is a great resource, but I would really enjoy just sitting in person and emoting together. What do you think? Is it too scary to sit person to person? Is there something like this already and I've just missed it? (cause I'm lazy and didn't look very hard )
Thu, May 29, 2008 - 7:46 AM -
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Thu, May 29, 2008 - 8:01 AM
There was the smoking bellies tribe. It went strong for awhile and then just dropped out. I think the hardest part for people to complain about their body image issues is that they feel like everyone else goes "you look great". I know personally, I don't want to ever hear again "I wish I was as skinny as you" because I see chubbles!!!
I think there needs to be something where people have avenues to find a way to personal happiness with their body image issues. Maybe something more focused on diet and exercise and informative articles etc as opposed to a hug fest. Okay, minimal hug festing. Some people just need a hug! |
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Unsu...
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Thu, May 29, 2008 - 8:06 AM
Beyond seeing how to loose weight...the truth is I think I know mentally HOW to loose weight...My problem is the emotional baggage that I drag around. I would like to talk openly about how to imptove self-image as I am NOW, and have that to take with me as I move forward. I am in a place where it is more about how to love who I am now and how to be the dancer I want to be now, while I ma still working on the weight. How do you talk more nicely to yourself? What do you hear in your head when you go on stage? How do you continue getting on stage while you hear all this voices screaming? Maybe it isn't weight, maybe it is just being "good enough". What is good enough?
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Thu, May 29, 2008 - 8:32 AM
I'd like to give you ladies some encouragement. By getting up on that stage and doing what you do because you love it, self-perception of looks or weight notwithstanding, you all are way further along on this road than you think.
You all kick ass for that, in my opinion. Now, do I have self-loathing, self doubts about my dumbek and riqq playing? Yea. Hell yea. Sean and Tony kick my booty all over the place, but if I let that bother me, I'd probably not get up on that stage with them and with my fumble hands and guitar center tamborine. I wouldn't be having near as much fun doing what I love to do. I think dancing and playing and chatting in these forums is hellaciously good therapy. *smiles and kudos to you* |
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Thu, May 29, 2008 - 8:57 AM
eh, I was thinking more along the lines of a vomitorium, rather than a hug fest. (pardon the gross reference) A place to spew and rant, then, as Mel suggested, move on to healthy ways of acceptance or getting to the place you want to be and work on getting rid of sabotaging behavior.
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Thu, May 29, 2008 - 9:13 AM
I'd be willing to help (and benefit) from working in a group situation as a coach. One of my focuses with several of my clients is the self-talk (the "tapes" they play in their head), and the questions they ask (why can't I lose weight/why am I fat). It's something I've come a long way on in my own life.
M--you are right. We have to approach this from the mental and emotional side. I bet many of us know enough to be a nutritionist/dietitian and/or personal trainer. We are not following through because something else is going on inside. Z--even when I was a size FOUR, I still saw the same heavy person. There is a mental filter we see ourselves through no matter what the reality may be. And, despite one person being a healthy size 10, for example, they may sincerely feel that they want to be an 8 or 6 to look their best. (If anyone desires to be a size 2 or 0, we shoot them. JUST KIDDING!!!!!!) My only problem is that I don't have any time to drive around to meet in person. But, I could look into setting up a free conference call. |
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Thu, May 29, 2008 - 9:18 AM
We could, as Z mentioned, support each other in the Smokin Bellies tribe.
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Thu, May 29, 2008 - 9:47 AM
"eh, I was thinking more along the lines of a vomitorium, rather than a hug fest."
LOL, nice analogy. Those negative feelings do act like a sour stomach don't they? Just hangs around making you nauseous. You know if you can get it out, you'll feel a lot better but you can't find anything to fix it. Blech! Okay, I've just grossed myself out, lol. Maybe the Smokin Bellies tribe can be refocused? Instead of concentrating on weight loss, concentrate on getting our self esteem out of the gutter. Get rid of negative thinking. Like Jess and Melodi said, share ideas and tools on what we can do to feel better about ourselves. Maybe we could get together every 3 months or so and see how everyone is doing? No hugfest, just a pure "you can do it!" I'm all up for it. BTW, speaking of sharing, I found this cool article on "3 Ways to Stop Negative Thinking". I posted it on my blog if you want to take a looksy. |
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Thu, May 29, 2008 - 9:53 AM
wow - what timing
Jess, i wish I was in DFW. I would SO do this...
I understand exactly what you mean, and think it would be so beneficial to have a group of ladies to just sit and vent with. it's really hard to break that record (showing my age - I still think vinyl) that plays over and over, even if you've taken steps to improve or correct the issue that started the dang thing to begin with!!! I hope you can get this going - next time I'm in Dallas, can I come be a guest venter??? :) |
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Unsu...
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Thu, May 29, 2008 - 10:07 AM
See, it's already working. I already feel better just know ya'll are there. So, this an issue most of us deal with? I'm not the only dancer out there that holds up a measuring stick to myself and my dance and then turns around and beats myself over the head with it? It's not that I like knowing that others are in pain too, but it nice to know that I am not the only one riding this roller coaster. It's really easy to say, "you're great the way you are. what others think doesn't matter." It is another to continue living it day in and day out.
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Thu, May 29, 2008 - 10:19 AM
You know, this could be reminiscent of Stitch and Bitch, which I think started as a knitter's club.
It is amazing to me that so many people in the world are wracked with self-doubt. I mean, where does it come from and why is it so crippling? What is it exactly that causes us to turn on ourselves so viciously. More importantly why do we say such terrible things to ourselves over and over when we would be outraged if someone else said the very same thing to us? If you overheard someone saying those things to a friend you'd feel an immediate rush of righteous indignation on their behalf and you'd be right. Venting surely has its purpose in the right time and place. Finding that others have the same feelings and thoughts regardless of the situation reminds us that even on our darkest days we aren't alone. When irrationality overrides common sense and warps the idea of what we are then it's time to vomit! |
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Thu, May 29, 2008 - 11:07 AM
I love this concept...
I feel like I'm constantly telling myself I'm just not good enough. In all aspects of my life. I've always been a perfectionist and it's very difficult for me to ever feel satisfied with anything that I do...whether it's dancing, costuming, appearance, whatever.....I'd love to find peace within.....
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Thu, May 29, 2008 - 11:21 AM
I think finding common ground with people is a great start. I have a concern though and I have seen it a lot lately, especially on tribe, that people not equipped with the education to give advice are giving it and people are taking it for various reasons (it is what they want to hear, it is easy, it makes sense, they admire the person, etc). Heck, I am even being hypocritical by giving advice after I just said I have concern :) What's a girl to do?!
Here's my for example: I tried doing LA Weight Loss several years ago. I was totally gung-ho and believed in it. We didn't have meetings, but one-on-one sessions. You were supposed to have meetings with a dietician, but I came to find out that there was only one on staff for several locations and most days you just talked to a staff person. This person may be someone who went through the program, but not necessarily. They could even be someone who never had any issue with weight before and no training in the physical or mental aspects of where the clients were and what they might need. I am not sure that I got detrimental advice, but I am sure I got advice or more likely a lack there of that may have hindered my journey. I know several folks who have went through WW and other programs and I wonder if the meetings are lead by trained professionals or people who have been simply trained by the company. WW alone would employ a lot of dieticians and/or counselors with all the locations if that were the only people leading the meetings. I give this as an example because people ARE well intentioned I believe, but can create problems they don't even realize they are creating because they are doing it with good intentions. We all have experiences and we are usually happy to share them. When it gets into an advice giving situation, I get concerned. I have the Gettin' Buff tribe and I have often wondered if posting anything other than encouragement and results is the way to help people there. What do I know, except what I have experienced? I know that to become even the lowest degree level of psychologist, you have to have a master's degree before you can see a patient. The dietician that I know has a master's degree too, so maybe that field needs a master's too. That's a lot of specialized education geared toward helping people in some of the very topics we are talking about. While I truly believe that commiseration and common ground and the discussion therein all in a safe environment is a good thing, I think it should not take the place of trained professionals truly helping you. Disclaimer: There are certainly ill-trained, under educated people out there in the world that have degrees. I do not believe a degree alone makes you a knowledgable, helpful person. There is a point where venting and getting stuck in the same patterns become unhealthy. I know this not only by the specialized classes I have taken in the matter (although I do not have a degree yet), but also because this is an issue I struggle with myself. If the Smokin' Bellies doesn't work out, feel free to change the Gettin' Buff tribe over to the Gettin' Healthy, Inside and Out tribe or something. I would love to see you all discuss the issues, vent as needed and move on to a healthier, happier place. There must be a licensed dietician and/or psychologist out there that is a bellydancer, let's seek them out too :) |
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Thu, May 29, 2008 - 11:40 AM
Well, said. You are right there is not a substitute for professional help and we should in fact understand that.
Right now, for me, I don't want to talk to a professional privately. I might at some point, but right now, I just want to speak how I feel instead of hiding it, know that someone out there understands, and that they give a damn. |
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Thu, May 29, 2008 - 11:47 AM
That's a great start Melodi. We certainly all have our paths to follow and most are not the same.
It would be great if we could all speak our hearts more often. I should work on that one more too :) This time of year is difficult for many people. The weather is nice, which in turn has us outside more, wearing less or at least wanting to. This is the second highest time of the year for such issue to creep to the forefront of consciousness (Holiday season being the second). You are certainly not alone. |
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Thu, May 29, 2008 - 11:57 AM
heeeheee
Let me start by saying that I am NOT a professional ;)
...but this is funny. My husband just sent this to me...Bless him. THE COPING DIET Only girlfriends can understand this one. This is specially formulated diet designed to help women cope with the stress that builds during the day. Breakfast 1 grapefruit 1 slice whole wheat toast 1 cup skim milk Lunch 1 small portion lean, steamed chicken 1 cup spinach 1 cup herbal tea 1 Hershey's kiss Afternoon Snack The rest of the Hershey kisses in the bag 1 tub of Hagen-Daaz ice cream with chocolate chips Dinner 4 glasses of wine (red or white) 2 loaves garlic bread 1 family size supreme pizza 3 Snickers Bars Late Night Snack 1 whole Sarah Lee cheesecake (eaten directly from the freezer) Remember: Stressed spelled backward is desserts. Send this to four women and you will lose two pounds. Send this to all the women you know (and/or men, too) and you will lose 10 pounds. If you delete this message, you will gain 10 pounds immediately. That is why I had to pass it on; I didn't want to risk it. :) |
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Thu, May 29, 2008 - 12:15 PM
no time like the present
well for those interested, would SouthLake be a good central meeting point? We've got Denton, FW, Arrrrrrlington, Carrollton and Dallas... There's a Bucca de Bepo's in SouthLake and they have Lemon Cello and other fabu drinks as well as yummmmmmy garlic bread. (what's venting with out snacks!)
Other locations? Ideas? A weeknight? say a Thursday? |
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Thu, May 29, 2008 - 12:35 PM
if anyone knows a good psychologist (I'm going to ask the one I know as well) maybe we can set up some healthy supportive ground rules. No negating another's fears ( Like with Z- "no- really you are so skinny" or "but you are a fabulous dancer!" etc etc ). I know in AA you are not supposed to offer advice, just your experience. That might be a good rule to follow as well. Take Brandy's advice and keep it supportive, but not as a supplement to real research and professional advice. And not often, just now and again.
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Thu, May 29, 2008 - 3:38 PM
OK, I've been lurking and I can't hold this in any longer!
I know I don't live nearby and can't participate, but thought I'd throw out an idea. Instead of snacking on sugary cocktails and salty, buttery garlic bread while venting about body image, maybe you could all meet near some walking paths and walk together, or experiment with healthy potlucks (like raw brunches or something--try www.goneraw.com). My friend Marsha Vernoga is a bellydancer with Origin. She's a nutritionist. She works in a hospital and runs a youth program where she introduces classrooms of kids to the concept of fresh vegetables and fruits. You could try to get her on your tribe to answer questions. She also told me about this fascinating book: "The China Study" by T Colin Campbell. It's really easy to "vent" about what you don't think you can't change, and then convince yourself that you can't change it, and then descend upon a downward spiral of negativity and depression. Talk's cheap--Fix it or Forget it! Be happy with what you have, or figure out what you need to do to change it! If "venting" means distributing "funny" emails that just perpetuate womens' "need" for chocolate, maybe you should consider a more action oriented approach. Walking, sharing healthy recipes, telling yourself (and each other) that you're beautiful however you are. I can say this...all of you are beautiful...have you seen yourselves in the mirror or on video doing shimmies and arabics and hip twists and mayas and all those other sexy movez? Well, take a look! But, if you feel you want to look different (note that I did not say "better" or "thinner"), then do what you need to do to make that happen. Or, if you want to FEEL better by living a healthier life, make that happen. We've all read books, we've all watched Oprah and read magazines, and we all know what to do, deep down inside. Does venting about this stuff ever really help? Does eating indulgent snacks while venting about this stuff ever really help? |
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Thu, May 29, 2008 - 3:45 PM
Wait, I don't know what got into me. I forgot my disclaimer. I know everyone is different and obviously I have no authority on the matter and I'm sure my opinion really doesn't matter much... but, really, are indulgent snacks and hours of venting going to help improve anyone's body image? Action! Action!
And in conclusion: Action! |
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Unsu...
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Thu, May 29, 2008 - 8:25 PM
If anybody wants to talk Pm me and I'll give you my number. I'm gonna go eat a carrot and start dancing 8 hours a week instead of 6.
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Thu, May 29, 2008 - 9:09 PM
I am a registered dietitian with a Master's degree in food and nutritional science. I also grew up in a household and extended family where I was only one of two people that was not a clincal psychologist or psychiatrist. I can tell you from experience that all of the comiserating in the world will not help unless you get a plan with a professional that can direct you and assist in your plan to better yourself. You also have to be ready to hear the truth and act on it.
I try to post on Tribe, Bhuz and elsewhere when people ask about weight loss, nutrition, food, etc. but it is a hard place to know when people really want the help. I try to give my professional advice and provide the truth behind myths and misconceptiosn that flood the internet and media but sometimes people are not ready to hear the truth. They want a magic bullet and an easy fix or something/someone to blame. I want to help. I wish that people would ask for help. Honestly I do! I want to reach out to people and clear up the incorrect information but I have found in my professional career that I need to wait to be asked. I have been in too many uncomfortable situations, discussions etc. with someone who thinks they know about food and nutrition just because they read Dr. Phil's lastest book on blubber or watched Oprah last week and they want to prove me wrong. Listen, I am not selling a book. I am offering the truth. Okay, before I keep rambling, let me say this: If you are interested in learning the truth about weight loss, food, nutrition, etc. work with a trained professional - a registered dietitian NOT a "nutritionist" or someone who thinks they have the answers from a book or course they took. Anyone can be a nutritionist, not everyone is trained to be a registered dietitian. I would love to be asked to be involved and I would love to help. I have taught courses, given lectures to dancers and athletes and worked on private one on one couseling. I also have a great husband that is a chef and can do cooking demonstrations with me. However, I will not push myself or my info on anyone - you have to ask. If you are not comfortable including me, that's fine....just please seek the advice of a trained and qualified professional. Yeli |
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Fri, May 30, 2008 - 5:06 AM
Then, yes, please help. I am asking. I didn't want to take advantage of you by asking too much, but by all means if you will help, please. I am not saying that all I want to do is bitch...I am trying, still trying, always trying, sometimes with more success, sometimes with less.
Some of my questions regarding diet... Is breakfast really the most important meal of the day? I have read that having fruit for breakfast is a great way to go, but I have also read that you need protein to start your day. What should you eat for breakfast? Any good pointers on how to go from work to dance rehearsal? I leave work at 5:30pm, get to dance rehearsal at 6:30-7:00. By the time I am done I am so hungry, that a drive-thru is looking really good. Fruit seems another obvious choice because it so easily portable...but really can a girl live on fruit alone. Pointers on getting myself organized into small portable, portion controllable sizes would be helpful too. Any great easy healthy recipes that you can make at home and have good left-overs? BTW, My husband eats meat...I don't. This sometimes add a layer of difficulty to meal planning...Just fyi. Mel |
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Fri, May 30, 2008 - 6:05 AM
humm
Welp, I guess I've given the wrong impression. I was/am looking to be with a group of friends and commiserate about body issues and (I loved Katy's imput) issues about getting on and off stage all together. Is this the only thing that I am doing to change my image of my self or my other hang ups, nope, I love my therapist (in that love/hate kinda way *grin*) but being a fairly social creature it is a comfort and even a motivator to know that others are also fighting the same fight. It's a comfort to know that I'm not the only one who has to swallow all kinds of self induced garbage before I get on and then off stage.
Cyn, it was good to hear from you after such a long time, and I respect your input -I'm big on tuff love my self, but I did not appreciate the condescending tone with which it seemed to be relayed. ( If you didn't mean it that way, you have my apology- email is an odd thing and I know I often will color what is said with my own crayons) Everyones path is different and growth can be triggered by a silly email, a shared evening with friends or a billboard that catches your eye along the side of the road. Do I think social hour is the end all be all? Am I saying that this is the only thing you should be doing or that it is a substitute for a professional therapist/dietitian/clergy? No. Just looking to connect. And if I want a slice of cheesy garlic bread and some Lemon Cello, that's my choice- so is the choice to put in an extra jazzersize class afterward, to help work it off. |
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Fri, May 30, 2008 - 7:14 AM
Well, I am more than willing to offer up my home and have "healthier" snacks if it you prefer, but the problem I usually run in to is that I live out of the way for most people and they don't want to drive that far. I am in Oak Point...north west of The Colony.
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Fri, May 30, 2008 - 7:18 AM
Hey Jess,
I understand the need to connect and believe I am right there next to you with my slice slice of deep dish pizza. I would just like to offer the opportunity to help people understand why things are the way they are and understand food and nutrition better. I don't think you opened a new can of worms. We all have these issues obviously! You have opened a good discussion to what needs to be visited about. Melodi: Where can I post answers to your questions that won't take up all of Jessica's blog area? Pick a weight loss/ buff with brandy tribe area and I will go there. SB |
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Fri, May 30, 2008 - 7:38 AM
I had thought it was just a "you're not alone" kind of thing in the way that most of us have something that makes performance difficult for us or whatever we do to express ourselves. I am looking forward to hearing how everyone goes nuts before a performance or how they learn differently or what their extreme nerve responses are (my feet go totally cold and numb regardless of warming up vigorously). I want to know what idiotic thing gives you the boost to get your butt up on that stage regardless of whatever self-doubt you have.
For instance, I just got a red blusher and brown lip liner because I have to do ballet-girl makeup. I thought it was dumb until I was practicing with it and now I feel all professional. I want to hear how someone lives in terror that they will accidentally fling their bracelet across the room again or that they have learned to follow extremely well because no matter how much they practice they never know when the choreography will just disappear from their little pea brain. That is what I thought the point was. Sure many of us have body issues, I'd put myself pretty high on the list, but that surely can't be the only commonality we have. I'd almost swear Katy was reading my mind when she wrote her earlier comments. |
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Fri, May 30, 2008 - 7:39 AM
So, Sarabeth, what SHOULD I be eating for breakfast? I usually eat a banana or some form of raw fruit or vegetable but what's the best thing?
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Fri, May 30, 2008 - 7:46 AM
Buff with Brandy works for me...
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Fri, May 30, 2008 - 1:14 PM
1. Marsha is actually a registered dietician. I did not mean to refer everyone to some unqualified person and I didn't know "nutritionist" was a bad word.
2. Confirmed: I way am too much of a smart ass to be posting in a public forum. Please dismiss everything I said and, Jess, feel free to delete my post. I have no idea what I'm talking about and I should get off my high horse. Please feel free to send hate mail to me directly. 3. I was not coming from a place of condescension. Did anyone read the part about how everyone is beautiful the way they are, but if you want to look, or FEEL different, then you might consider an action oriented approach rather than just venting while eating indulgent snacks? But, again, WTF do I know? |
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Fri, May 30, 2008 - 1:48 PM
As your information is valid, I'd rather leave your posts up. It does offer a different perspective and as I said, I'm open to that. Don't hate you, or your thought process. Sorry if that disappoints you.
It was the remarks about the emails that came across to me as condescending and as I said, it could just be me. If you didn't mean it to be condescending, then that just makes me look the fool, which since I wear those clothes often enough, it's ok. I don't mind being human. I'm sorry what I said de-valued your input. Wasn't my intent. |
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Fri, May 30, 2008 - 2:27 PM
Well, I guess distribution of emails like that is kind of a pet peeve of mine. As always, feel free to dismiss what I'm about to say because WTFDIK. However, when you get an email like that, doesn't it change your focus? Like, you're having a great day, you're feeling really great about yourself, and then you get an email like that and you think, "OMG, that's totally me! I totally need to lose weight! I better forward this to all my friends so that I can lose some lbs {let's face it, there's always a tiny glimmer of hope, even though you know it's totally irrational}," and then in the process, you cause all of your friends' daily focuses to change, and then they think "OMG, that's totally me! I totally need to lose weight! I better forward this to all my friends!" And thus the horrible epidemic of poor body image is perpetuated.
Let's take a stand! Let's stop those emails from circulating so we can keep our focus (and the focus of our female friends and support systems) on healthier things. Let's keep striving to better ourselves, not settle for unhealthy images of ourselves, not expose ourselves to things that even make us think we're not good enough. Let's stop putting ourselves on the clearance rack.* We can do it! We can do it! Action, action, action! *(that clearance rack bit is from Suze Ormon) **Jess, feel free to remove me from your friend list if you're tired of my posts. |
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Fri, May 30, 2008 - 2:44 PM
jezum crow, if I deleted everyone who thought differently than me, I'd be pretty dang friendless. and dumb. but since I'm just a fool, I keep people who are more than just suck ups around me. Keeps me humble. ;)
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Fri, May 30, 2008 - 2:51 PM
i apologize that the email I posted offended you so. That was not my intention at all, but here is why I did it. I have had a very hard week where self-image and self-confidence is concerned, as many of you are well aware. I have cried countless hours this week on this very topic... not just weight mind you; confidence. But when my husband sent me this. it shook me out of my funk just long enough that I laughed. For the first time in days. Yes, over eating, medicating with food, or binge eating is a serious matter, but for me in that moment it took a serious issue and blew it up to rediculous proportions so that I could see at least some humor in it. To say to myself, yes I have slipped like this many times, but step back take a moment...it doesn't have to define you. Maybe I saw humor where you did not or maybe because I was in that head space it made me laugh. Regardless of the content I needed something to shake me from my funk and it did.
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Fri, May 30, 2008 - 3:03 PM
It didn't offend me and there's no need to apologize.
Just, different perspectives... |
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Fri, May 30, 2008 - 4:06 PM
Wow, miss a day of tribe....miss a lot. I will take to the moderator on Gettin' Buff and have that name changed, then feel free to take it over with all your questions, ideas, resources, etc. Let's have a thread for venting, let's schedule a meet-up, let's use and abuse ;) Yeli and her hotty chef, Chris and have a demonstration and discussion :) Let's keep it positive and factual. Let's make it fun! I am excited. Jess, we totally hijacked your blog, but thanks for getting this out there. Look how many people care and are interested. You did a good thing!
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Fri, May 30, 2008 - 5:25 PM
You simply cannot get any better than Yeli and her awesome hubby as the one-two punch on everything food!!! Even when she makes macaroni bites!!! ;o)
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Unsu...
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Fri, May 30, 2008 - 5:29 PM
No joke...hey Yeli, can those chocolates you make be made healthy (healthier) ??? please... ;) Yummy stuff.
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Fri, May 30, 2008 - 9:11 PM
AH, chocolate can heal all that ails you!
Especially the ones I make ;) |
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Mon, June 2, 2008 - 11:50 AM
Miss Red wrote:
"I want to know what idiotic thing gives you the boost to get your butt up on that stage regardless of whatever self-doubt you have." For me, it was when the music started.. Despite all the nerves flopping around in my belly, when I heard that music start, I thought "Oh SH*T! That's MY music! RUN! RUN!" |
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Thu, July 3, 2008 - 6:57 AM
I want In!
I too would love to get together with other belly dancers to just vetch, bitch, moan, complain, comiserate and chat. Its girl time, and girl time is good for the soul. I don't need the group to lose weight, thats a whole 'nother ball of wax. I need it for encouragement, for enlightenment, for connection and for good times. I also see it as a way to connect to more dancers who I only see every couple months at haflas. I like you guys and would love to just spend more time with you.
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