blah blah blah blog

choices in life

jmercede — Thu, 19 Oct 2006 07:49:05 GMT

and love.. to let go of something that feels good and is fun and its something you crave like sex at your fingertips... like breathing by my face till the morning comes. .. like melting into anothers body and all your cares, saddness washed away by the heartbeat... by the simple clutch/touch of soft, human connection. to let it go, like a balloon to the sky for better or for worse, so that new springs may sprout. so i don't have to shout. how i feel, what I need, who i want. so i can whisper it and still be heard... so i can be mirrored in my love for another. so i can be mirrored when i say i want to give you care, when i say, I WILL BE THERE. and in my hand, where i once held the string of the balloon... there is nothing. an empty hand i look at and i look at and i look at. an empty hand i cry about. how it looks without the string in it. how empty. and to know that i choose it. i choose to let go of the string. the string of the balloon that wasn't mine to begin with. i let go because even through the hazy mist of the gloom and cloudy day, as i watch the balloon dissappear deeper into the sky, i can smile. Because I let go. i let go because..... an empty hand is able to reach... and an empty hand can be an open hand, for nothing will fall off of an open, empty hand. as the hand stretches and reaches and opens, it receives. thank you, it receives.

dumpster diving with 10 year olds-my first blog

jmercede — Thu, 18 Aug 2005 18:06:10 GMT

don't you think it would be great to take a group of kids and show 'em the wonders the junk behind a grocery store has to offer? could you see the permission slips home to the parents: "I hereby say its okay that 'Julia' rumage through the dumpster at our local New Seasons in search of usable goods/produce and eat compromising foods. I hereby waive any responsiblity for injuries aquired from scraping her knees on the metal or falling from the bin, infections from nasty gooey slim that has been fermenting for months, sicknesss incured from eating rotten foods and lastly, i will take all the blame if for any reason (lack of good cop look-out a.k.a. bad supersion) she gets caught for BREAKING THE LAW.' not to mention the field trip would have to be a MIDNIGHT run.. could you hear the parents after they wake their kids up way past their bedtime and send 'em out the door to meet the teacher pickin' em up in a bus "have a great time and bring home some apples honey!" dad, lying in bed, yells through the window "... and if you see any after shave... " I mean hell, its a great idea to teach kids the wonders of waste, but could you imagine taking a big yellow bus to the back of Wild Oats in the middle of the night and unloading a group of kids... "alright boys and girls, now you've GOT to be quiet!" the trip would have to be equipped with The Kit... when you're working with kids especially, you bring this along. its got everything a Diver could need, gloves, flashlight, rag to wash hands, some disinfecting soap,and it all comes in a bucket for storing goods, or to use as a stepping stool. thats the basic version available for 19.95 if you call right now, but supplies are limited so shit... there's are more elaborate versions that include anything from grub sneakers and a body suit, to a cop detector. but those get kinda pricey. So i did take 2 ten year olds dumpster diving the other day. in broad daylight. i hardly even dive in the daylight myself! shit! i guess somehow thought it would be chill to introduce the kids to the sport. no, actually, truth be told, i did not think. if i thought, i wouldn't have done it. nothing bad happened, but in retrospect, for the sake of my job, is it the smartest choice? Regardless, we checked out the See's Candy dumpster to see if it had any chocolate. we saw some, but it would definately was questionable, so good thing i started thinking and said we should leave it. now all i have to hope is that they don't tell their parents, cause we did NOT have a permission slip :)

jmercede — Wed, 27 Jul 2005 07:38:15 GMT

ah so shit!