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How much attention...
Sat, February 9, 2008 - 7:57 AM
So, I work at home. I do medical transcriptions, and I sit and listen to doctors talk, and type. So, needless to say that I cant play Barbie doll or tag or read Aimée a story while I work. I am paid by the line, therefore each second I spend not talking equals an extra second of work later to make the amount of money I want/need.
I never even babysat in my life, she is the only child (well, not counting my husband). I so very much want to spend all the time that I have in the world with her, but I cant. I must work to help pay the bills. Each and everytime she comes to me saying: "Will you play with me maman, s'il te plait?"... My heart gets broken. Once in a while I will... I'll stop working and go play with her, teach her things, do things, bring her hiking, whatever (I cant even count the amount of times I ended up working til 9, 10, even 11 pm just so I could spend more time with her during the day, but that gets exhausting!) But most times, it has to wait until after dinner, and the guilt is killing me.
She goes to preschool twice a week, she plays bowling every Saturday, she has play dates here and there, grandparents pick her up for a day of fun once in a while. She is by no mean a deprived child. But I feel so guilty that I cant spend my time with her, and I wonder if I am supposed to. I wonder if that will scar her, if she'll become an attention-seeking type of person because of that. I dont know how things are supposed to be since I have never really been around kids much. My sister has 3 kids, needless to say they entertain themselves I am sure. When I was young, I dont remember being alone much... Had a sister, always tons of friends, but then we lived in an extremely small community where it was not abnormal for a 4 or 5-year-old to go knock on the neibhor's door to play.
Soon enough she'll be at school for longer periods and hopefully I wont have to worry about this, but I just wish I knew what is normal and not, if she gets enough attention, or if she is just being a brat wanting more attention then she should have, or if I am just a terrible mother!
Sat, February 9, 2008 - 7:57 AM -
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8 Comments
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Sat, February 9, 2008 - 1:29 PM
Well, first of all your daughter is beautiful like her mother. You are not a bad mother, and I think her being around you is a positive thing even though you cannot take the time to play one on one. Maybe she could play with a play computer and feel like she is helping you or something? Keep her busy with something that makes her feel included. Just a suggestion. She will not be scarred. She sure looks happy to me!!!
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Sat, February 9, 2008 - 5:06 PM
Yea, I think she is happy, and very outgoing, too much even. She has an actual computer that she plays Disney.com and all those kids internet games, she'll color, watch a movie, but once in a while she'll tell me she is bored and wants to play with other kids :/
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Sun, February 10, 2008 - 7:40 AM
Wow, Josie... this sounds like what I'll be up against some day, if I do freelance from home. I'm not sure what a good solution would be. Could you hire a 12-13 year old girl from the neighborhood and pay her to come "babysit" a few times a week for a few hours after school? Its less costly than day care, and she'd probably be into having an "older girl" around hang out with... AND you'd establish a good relationship with a babysitter, so that they could even possibly watch her on a Friday night or whatever when you and hubby want to get away? At least she'll be used to having her around and my actually look at her more as a playmate than a babysitter? I don't know. Just a thought. I'm trying to put myself in your situation... I can see where this will be tough.
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Mon, February 11, 2008 - 11:43 AM
Josie, you are such a wonderful mother and I have seen it first hand. Aimee is such a polite, caring and loving child. You are doing everything you can, the best you can and it shows. I struggle (and I am sure every parent does) everyday with the questions,wonderings and guilt of parenthood- was I nice enough, did I yell to much, did I let them get away with too much, did I play enough, did I kiss and hug them enough, are they happy? Is it sibling ribalry or something I did? But I think we have to tell ourselves that we can only do as much as we can, the best we can with what we have. No, she probably doesn't understand what you are doing at the computer all day is actually for her-just as my kids don't understand that Daddy has to be gone all week to take care of them. Their world just isn't that big yet but someday they will understand and hopefully appreciate all that we have done for them even if it meant a few sacrifices on EVERYONE'S part. I also remember growing up and not relying on my Mom to entertain me or spend every waking moment with me, but I know through everything that I grew up dealing with, the one thing I HONESTLY knew was that my Mom loved me and she taught me how to be kind and to care about other people. That is something you have already successfully done with Aimee, you can see it in her, she is a wonderful, compassionate little person because of you. You should be very proud of yourself. Aimee is very lucky to have you as a mother.
:) Heather |
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Mon, February 11, 2008 - 11:49 AM
Oh!
PS. Aimee can come over and play ANY time-I'll even come and get her. I think we are going to-weather permitting-go to the Ice Carving festival thing in Medina on Friday since we don't have school, I'd be happy to come and take her with us. We might go to the REC center afterwards too. Whatch'ya think? ;p Heather |
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Mon, February 11, 2008 - 9:34 PM
You girls are just so kind... thank you.
Aimée wants to go to your house every single day to play with Julius and Genna! I have to work on Friday, but I completely trust you with her, if you dont think that would be too much! She will love that for sure! Anything in the evening I can also go! I love you girls! |
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Tue, February 12, 2008 - 5:35 AM
Of course it isn't too much! I will let you know when we cement our plans down. We'll have a blast.
:) Heather |
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Tue, February 12, 2008 - 12:13 PM
what a cutie!
No worries Josie- I was raised with both parents working (not at home) and my parents spent time with me....and lots and lots away. I had a wonderful grandma that was there when my parents weren't, but the point is... I turned out just fine. The older she gets the more she will realize that you don't have a choice and you don't really WANT to work, but you do it for her and so that she can have a great life growing up. Its so much better that you are home and not playing with her....you could be away at an office and she could be in day care. You really are lucky to be at home with her....and so is she! |
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