My bellydance CD collection is for sale.

To see what's available:

www.amazon.com/b

Bellydance cds, middle eastern music cds, and some other miscellaneous stuff.

I hate to do it. I REALLY hate to do it, but for me, money is more important than music at the moment. My loss, maybe your gain.

So... I'm a little nervous.

After all, I haven't sung in front of an audience in something like...18 years or so?

But I'm looking forward to it. It will be fun. These guys have been so great to sing with.

Besides, after I'm done I get to stick around and see one HELL of a fantastic 1 hour play. Tale End alone is worth the price of admission (and that doesn't mean the Suicide Lounge isn't good enough). The talk of the Rogue Performance Festival 2007, people are STILL talking about it. If you missed it then, make sure you see it now.

In fact... either show alone is worth the price of admission, but you get TWO for the price. It's a STEAL!

If you're in the Fresno area next Sunday... come be supportive. And buy me a drink. Seriously. I'm gonna need it.

www.youtube.com/watch

50 Ways To Leave Your Lover

RULES:
1. Put Your itunes, windows media player etc on Shuffle
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. You must write that song name down, no matter how weird it sounds!

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
"Love Is Not Enough" Nine Inch Nails

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
"Life O' The Party" Prince (that's what came up. I SWEAR. The irony.)

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
"Slow Like Honey" Fiona Apple

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
"The Seeker" The Who (are these fookin' prophetic??)

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
"Why Didn't You Call Me?" Macy Gray (ROFLMMFAO)

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
"Who Are You?" The Who (Yeah... more prophetic by the moment)

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
"Crawlin' King Snake" Etta James (ohhhh yeah.)

WHAT IS 2 + 2?
"Leaves That Are Green" Simon & Garfunkel (Ok, that makes no sense)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BESTIE?
"A Simple Desultory Phillipic" Simon & Garfunkel

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
"The Sinner In Me" Depeche Mode (um... yeah. Definitely has that effect.)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
"Dancing Drums" Badmarsh & Shri

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
"Baby Did A Bad Bad Thing" Chris Isaak (teehee)

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
"Rain King" Counting Crows (er?)

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
"Need You Tonigh" INXS (of course... I'll never get married again... but hey.)

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
"The Marrying Kind" Prince (That just ain't right.)

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST??
"Precious Things" Tori Amos

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
"Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered" Ella Fitzgerald (baby, ain't THAT the truth.)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
"Be Quiet and Drive" Deftones

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
"Viva Las Vegas" Dead Kennedys

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
"50 Ways to Leave Your Lover" Paul Simon

Awww, come on! You KNOW you wanna see it.

Friday! Tempest! Bellydancing pirates! Come!
Don't forget, kids...

Friday, May 25, is going to be a fun night. Come out to the Full Circle Brewery (620 F. Street, Fresno) for some piratical fun.

Pirate's Booty Buccaneer Bellydance will start off the night with a debut performance of swashbuckling swishy-ness and scalawag shimmies. It's bellydance with a twist, darlin'. That's right, a vulgar display of piratical terpsichore.

Oh... and we do have Beeeeeyooooteefull Hats. You have to see these hats. Mine especially.

Full Circle will, of course, be serving their fabulous brews of many kinds; ale, porter, mead... try them all! (But do be certain to have a designated driver...)

There will be a Cap'n Jack Look-Alike Contest, and Prizes for Best Pirate & Wench Costumes... visit the Fortune Teller if you dare, get decorated by a Henna Artist...

But we're all going to be there to hear Tempest, Celtic Rock at its very finest!

Admission $14, or $12 with pirate costume.

Join us for the fun.

Or else.

We have swords.

I'm just sayin'.

Stolen from Rom Deussen, because I'm bored in class... shame on me.

1. Where did your last kiss take place?
Don't remember

2. Who knows a secret or two about you? Just a couple people.

3. Four words to explain why you last threw up? Unforgettably painful life choice

4. Have you ever burned yourself? Probably. But not on purpose. I try to avoid these things.

5. What's crazy to you? Doing the same thing repeatedly, expecting different results each time. I do that a lot.

6. Favorite cuss word: g*ddamnit!

7. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now? It doesn't matter, because I don't care.

8. Who is your hero? There's this guy...

9. Would you ever want to be a supermodel? The salary is attractive. Sure, why not?

10. Who is the most experimental person you know? Um. Dunno

11. Do you tell white lies? Maybe.

12. When is your next party? Sadly, I don't know.

13. Who do you want to be with right now? So there's this guy...

14 Do you scratch when and where you want to scratch? Certainly not.

15. How do you handle a break up? Apparently, very badly. In the past I'd have said completely cutting that person out of my life.

16. Your motivation for tomorrow? Tomorrow is Friday. I only have to be beholden to others for FOUR HOURS tomorrow, so... yeah, I wanna get to tomorrow. Preferably past noon. There's my motivation.

17. Do you know what you will wear tomorrow? Whatever I manage to get clean by doing laundry tonight.

18. Last person to make you laugh? The guys here at school.

19. Last thing you ate? A handful of wasabi almonds.

20. Do u ever go a few days without changing your underwear? What an insulting question. Absolutely not, under no circumstances. Ew.

21. Have you ever accidentally eaten an insect? When I was 2 I used to pick up crickets and eat them. My family tells me this is true.

22. Do daddy long legs freak you out? Not really.

23. Have you ever cleaned up someone else's vomit? I'm a mother. What do YOU think?

24. Have you ever dropped food on the floor and eaten it? 3 second rule for hard foods. Mushy foods, no.

25. Do you kiss your pets on the mouth? No. No I do not.

26. Do you talk baby talk? oh HELL no.

27. What serial killer do you find most disturbing? Like... all serial killers aren't disturbing? That anyone would get off or feel compelled to kill over and over... THAT is inherently disturbing.

28. Do you watch court tv? No time. I could probably get sucked in, though, if I paused there long enough to watch.

29. Would you ever work in a retirement home? I've danced in them, but I wouldn't make a career of working in them. I think I would find it emotionally taxing.

30. Do you believe plants have feelings? They're plants, not sentient.

31. Do you laugh at people with "bowl" haircuts? Laugh at them? No. Find their choice of hairstyle not to my taste? Yes.

32. Do you have nervous twitches? I'm sure I do. Someone tell me what they are.


33. Are you ever purposely irritating? When I'm looking for certain responses, yes.

34. If you could fly, where would you go first? Wherever whim took me in the moment. I'm thinking North and East right now, though.

35. Do you prefer boats or planes? I don't really care for either. Getting used to planes, though.

36. Love or lust? Achieving gestalt of both of these with another person.

37. One best friend or 10 aquaintances? One best friend.

38. Favorite food? The tasty kind. Comfort foods, mostly.

39. Do you believe that your first love never dies? No. It died the minute I realized I was too young to get married at 18. That was it, I was done.

40. What upcoming event are you waiting and ready for? Waiting for many, never ready for any. The Streets of Tortuga Pirate Carnival (with Tempest) is one... That will be MUCH fun whether I'm ready or not.

41. Current smell? amber essential oil

42. Do you get your nails done? That is a luxury I cannot afford.

43. Most favorite person?
So... there's this guy...

44. What was the last thing you ordered at McDonald's?
erm... I don't remember. It's been a LONG time.

45. Are you an emotional person?
Within, I am a raging torrent of emotion. Externally I am quite calm.

46. Do you like your name? I used to hate it. YOU try to live up to being a happy feeling. I don't much mind it now.


47. Do you have plans this weekend? Yes. Yard sale, so I can eat for the rest of the month... and Mother's Day with my girl.

48. Do you work? Not yet, unless you count school, and internship, and various other activities for which I am not paid (yet), but will hopefully lead to being gainfully employed.

49. Do you dance naked in your room? On occasion.

50. When did your last relationship end?
Well... I had thought it ended, but it has not. So... um... yeah.

51. What are you listening to right now?
Myself typing. And other people murmuring in class, and the guy next to me clicking his mouse frantically playing some online game.

52. Biggest fear?
Rejection

53. How long have you been a part of tribe? Dunno.

54. Favorite place to be?
There's this guy... wherever he is.

55. What are you wearing right now?
Jeans, ugly school logo t-shirt ( because we can't wear any other kind of t-shirt)

56. Are your toes painted? nope

57. Does anyone hate you? Don't know, don't care if they do.

58. How many people do you trust fully? None.

59. Did you have fun doing this? It was marginally diverting.

60. Are you thinking of someone right now?
Yes. As always.

Outing the Belly Wars of Fresno

It has gone on for so long, the behind-the-scenes machinations.

I have heard too many first hand accounts of the nastiness directed at others, the talking behind backs while the unknowing target puts heart and soul into their performance, the sniping and cruel criticisms, the venom and tittering laughter while someone does their best on stage.

I have seen the results of these passive-aggressive tactics.

And now I'm pissed. This nonsense needs to stop. Grown women should not behave, act, or REact as it seems people are doing.

For one thing, if you have a problem with someone, or the way they have costumed, or the photos they took to promote an upcoming event, or their performance... it is inappropriate to discuss such things with others in a derogatory and scathing manner. It makes you look like an ass. It makes you appear to be nothing better than jealous, and nothing less than petty.

Dancers, performers, instructors, who are confident in their abilities and in the esteem of their students and audiences... do NOT need to disparage the efforts of other dancers.

Someone who has nothing to fear, and who deserves the respect of everyone in a local dance community, should NOT be spreading innuendo, rumor, and outright lies about a person they have not had the courage to approach regarding that person's intentions or troupe affiliation.

No. Let me be blunt. That may be best. Let's just really lay the cards out on the table here. I'll show my hand. Do you have the courage to show yours? Hm?

Do not go to my instructor, the person I consider to be my main dance mentor, someone very dear to my heart, and fill her ear with poison about me or my intentions. How can someone who has spent almost no time with me, has no clue about my character or integrity, and who has made NO attempt to address their concerns TO me... have any idea what I'm thinking, or what I'm doing?

I am angered that a person would DARE to use someone I respect so much in this way. I am aghast that they would presume to pay lip service to the idea of "hurting her", when it is their own intrigue, whisperings and conjecture that does the hurting.

Do you want to know what troupe I identify with, of which I am a part? Ask ME.
Do you want to know if I intend to leave that troupe? Ask ME.
Do you want to know why I'm participating in an event? Ask ME.

I have always been up front about my intentions. I dance with whom and where I please. That has always been clear. When I have committed to a troupe event, I won't let anything get in the way of that. That does not stop me from pursuing other interests at other times.

My instructor has always been supportive of my efforts to learn and grow. She has always been supportive of my efforts to dance at various events, in various venues, with various people.

I have always been clear in my affiliation with her troupe whenever I DO those events, so people will know who taught me. It gives credit where credit is due. It makes it clear that, while I'm doing an outside event, I am also part of something else, and maybe people will want to see what that's all about as well.

So, yes, I use the troupe name when promoting my dancing, because people should know that members of our troupe are versatile.

There is no disrespect for my instructor in dancing with other people. In fact, it shows the respect she has for ME, or any of her other students, that she encourages us to pursue our dance interests outside what we do with the troupe.

I am disheartened that there are those who seek to undermine the relationship between my teacher and her students by coming to her with twisted tales of what I'm doing, and why I'm doing it.

These same people who have, by first hand accounts, spoken so very poorly of her, and said things I find reprehensible.

So let's just clear the air. I have absolutely nothing to hide, and I certainly have no shame in what I'm about to say.

My name is Joy. I am a dancer with the Ananka Dance Company in Fresno, California, and I have been so affiliated since 1998. My teacher, and main instructor, is Ely Buffin. She has a wealth of knowledge of which I know I haven't even scratched the surface. She is also a wonderful human being that I am pleased to have made a part of my life, and I would never intentionally, or knowingly, disrespect her. I have much to learn from her, and as long as she is willing to share her knowledge with me, I will keep learning.

I also dance with other people. There are several former students of Ely's that I consider good friends. If and when I am invited to dance with them, I will do so as I please, as my time and schedule allow, with a happy heart that I can share my time with people who share my dance roots.

I will dance with people who are not affiliated directly with Ely. I have in the past, and intend in the future, to learn from many different instructors, take workshops in things that interest me, and continually pursue different styles of dance.

I count Lydia, the director of Tanjora Tribal Bellydance, as a dear friend. We have discovered many things in common outside of our shared interest in dancing, and our friendship has grown, independent of it. I have danced with her at various times. She has referred jobs to me, and I have shared job referrals with her. I have no intention of avoiding association with her, or her troupe. I have met most of the people that dance with her, and I like everyone I have met thus far. If invited to dance with them as a guest, I would be delighted to do so.

People who treat me with respect and kindness will receive the same from me. I am saddened to know there are those for whom I once held great respect and esteem that have seen fit to make assumptions about me and my personal character that are incorrect and unflattering.

I will make no apologies for participating in an event billed as "pirate bellydance".

It's fun. It's funny. It's a lark. It's fantasy. It also happens to be a popular trend nationwide. It's performance art of a different kind. (And not much of a departure from what I've done with the troupe all these years.) What IF... pirate wenches bellydanced? What would that look like?

If you come to the show on May 25, you'll get our perspective on the idea.

I may be unwelcome at your events, but you are more than welcome to attend mine. What I do may not be what you do, but I don't fear what you do. I do not consider what you do as a reflection on MY artistic expression. And you should not consider what *I* do as a reflection on yours.

You can be certain I will show less skin while doing it than the persons who have made unkind remarks about my photos have shown in their own past performances.

And I always wear proper underwear.

Again, I divest more of my past.

I'm dead poor, matey.

So I'm lightening me booty and liquidatin', tradin' treasure for cold hard dubloons.

Books and cds here: www.amazon.com/gp/shops/i...928-7234430

Look through my jeweled treasures here: people.tribe.net/joydawn/photos

If you have interest in any of these things, it would make me happy that they find a new, loving home. Music, reading and beautiful adornments have all been an important part of my Leo life... but as a friend said he christened this year at its inception... it is The Year of Letting Go.

And let me tell you... letting go of THIS stuff is a hell of a lot easier than some of the other things I've already had to give up, and the year isn't even a quarter over.

Let the purge continue, and let the abundance roll in. (In all ways.) So let it be written. So let it be done.

Whew.

Just had to post something...anything... to stop that last post from popping up on my profile page.

Waaaay too depressing.

If you're near SLC, and you see this guy...

Don't believe a word he says. Be nice, or not, as you see fit. He can be entertaining and personable. He makes a good drink, I gather.

I strongly advise against becoming personally involved with him.

This is the lyingest liar that has ever lied to me.

He is gifted with words, and frighteningly brilliant. He's a writer, and one of the best I've ever seen. (Though he hasn't produced anything worth reading in far too long.) He is talented, witty, charming, and attractive. He has other qualities that are equally, if not more, compelling, of which I have intimate knowledge, but am loathe to discuss.

And he has lied to me for over 2 years. I find that everything that has passed between us has been a sham. He has been deceitful by committing the sin of omission. (Leaving out pertinent details that would change the way things are perceived...)

One would think that after watching, first hand, how he would lie to his parents, his family, his closest friends, other friends, his coworkers and business associates... I MIGHT have an inkling that he might not always be entirely truthful to me.

I didn't. That is most certainly my fault. I knew from very early on that he had been dishonest with me at the outset, and I overlooked it.

Never overlook these things.

If you think someone is dishonest, they probably are. If you think someone is cruel, it's a good bet they are. If you think someone is emotionally retarded...

you're probably getting the point here.

So... ladies... (and gentlemen too, I suppose) when you have those early warnings, those nagging doubts about whether a person is worth your time...

run.

Fast and far. Or you may end up wasting as much time, effort, love, and tears as I have on someone like this handsome young man.