April 4, 2005
JR's talent with power tools really knows no bounds. I want him to come to New Zealand and put some louvers on my house. I need 'em bad. If not, the least he could do is post the specs on the Internet for everyone to enjoy. Why is he the only one who gets to know how to make louvers??? It's some elitist bourgeois intellectual, I-drank-too-much-absinthe crap, I just know it. But still, whenever I see him, I just want to give him a big hug.
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My TestimonialsSeptember 24, 2004
Johnnie is strong and good and brave and a really really big drunk. He's my hero. Except when he's chasing me with a drill. Then he's just brave and drunk.
March 1, 2004
Some days I want to say.
"OK Johnny... You, me, two bottles of Jim Beam. Last man Standing." Then I realize it's just plain foolish to challenge him on the field of drinking. I think I might do better in a 50 yd. dash. February 28, 2004
johnnie royale has the amazing ability to breathe under water. Ok, I've never seen him do it under actual water, but he can breathe under whiskey, so he can probably do it under water too.
October 15, 2003
Johnnie Royale is better off drinking than smoking the rocks.
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