i am home sick (not actually "lusting after a home that is no longer mine", but really ill, like with a sore throat and headache and stuff) and wasting my time looking at people on tribe with a vague sense of dissatisfaction, and where have i found myself? at my vice president's profile. because he is my vice president, and i have not testified in his honor, i feel so ashamed. ahem, my dear VP, forgive my fat pregnant ass. i love you. the mere thought of this boy brings a gorgeously over-sized smile to my lips. no one is more fun to be around. no one is more disgusting, more vulgar, more rude, or more distasteful. no one. and that is why this boy will make you laugh till you've peed your panties. and then he'll give you some mystery powder to put down there to make it all better. although he is annoying when he's too drunk on red wine sometimes. sorry, had to say it. hey, i've been exceptionally annoying to you while violently intoxicated before too, buddy, and you went and told everybody, but not until after you had ditched me with that horrible boy i had collected on drunk-accident. nonetheless, you are the bestest ever, VP, and i insist we listen to the magnetic fields while working out in leotards at once! oh yeah, i've been taking naked showers with your girlfriend. you can thank me later for restraining her from drying her cute little curls on the old militant lifeguard's pubes.

i'd just like to say that i got a "rundown on his package deals" BEFORE the pr campaign.

But seriously, when are we gonna start a band already?

Jason is one of the gayest straight guys i know.... And I mean that in only the most complimentary of ways. Don't let his demeanor, his mowhak, his leather jacket, or his career in the hard-core gay-porn industry fool you. You should ignore the the fact that I have photographic evidence of him making out with 'Bob'. ... no, really.. I swear, I've met his girlfriend.. they live together.. I've even made out with her... eerr...
but for reals, Jason is the shit. Everyone LOVEs JAson! I even joined his tribe: I HATE JASON. cause actually i don't. I love him.
J. LEW. rocks like none other!