My thoughts....

Introducing: Spiritwood Majestic Highland Fergus

just4fun6464 — Mon, 26 May 2008 02:30:16 GMT

You have heard much about the arrival of our puppy and he came home yesterday afternoon. We played with he and litter mates for about and hour or so; he slept most of the 2 hour drive home. He has been introduced to many of our other animals and so far want to chase his tail, play with the cats and possibly chase the chickens. The chicken chasing keeps getting interrupted by the pesky tail that seems to follow him. Last night he only got up 3 times and with a total of about 10 minutes of whining slept through the night. We are having a blast with him. Late yesterday afternoon he was licking the top of Tom's beer bottle. Yep, he's a Bean

Puppies, Puppies, Puppies

just4fun6464 — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 08:18:09 GMT

For those of you who know us you may groan, "Just what they need ANOTHER animal!" Well it is true, our family has not felt complete since the loss of Kai earlier this year. Today we met and held our new family member as yet unamed. One of the black butts you see here is the future Bean Clan member, we will know more in 2 weeks when we get to visit again. He will come home around May 28th. We can not wait as our home has felt a bit empty without the presence of a dog. It has been almost 10 years sice we have had a puppy long term around here. We are thrilled and can not wait for this little one to get here. We met multiple generations of family and they were all lots of fun, healthy, sweet and happy. Now all we need is a name!

Spicy Pony Head

just4fun6464 — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 04:52:54 GMT

Tom introduced us to this comedy skit, it is child friendly and laugh out loud funny! http://cdn1.libsyn.com/kasperhauser/kh05spicyponyhead.mp3

My Red Dress

just4fun6464 — Sun, 16 Mar 2008 21:24:16 GMT

So, I have lusted after this red dress for hmmmm months at least; possibly over a year. Today, against all that was rational and fiscally responsible, I ordered it! Whoo Hooo. It is for a good cause, it is charitable, it is humanatarian, it is so very cool or hot depending on your perception I guess! At the same time I am making modifications to the lovely gown gifted to Tom by Kirk and Cheryl. Ther agreement is that he can't look better than me. So slimfast, weights and Spankx, here we come!

More Babies

just4fun6464 — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 01:45:55 GMT

So we are attempting the chick thing again. We got 8 new chicks today, there are now in the garage, covered with wire cloth and the hope that they will survive more than 12 hours. We are also awaiting the arrival of 3 Silkie chickens, apparently Seamus needs to show them as a trio, who knew. I am still trying to get my head around the fact that there are National rabbit and Chicken shows.

What the...?

just4fun6464 — Sun, 02 Mar 2008 05:56:14 GMT

We have all heard the phrase, "Multiply like rabbits". We went to the breeder for 2 does this afternoon and had 3 before we left for the house. That may set new rabbit multiplication records. Tommy got his 2 Netherland Dwarfs and Bridget her Mini Rex. Yes I have the ability to deny my children, and the ability to say no to additional animals. But when faced with a cute baby buuny, a daughter who said please, and well a fuzzy, sweet, nose wiggling baby bunny I caved.

Whooo Hooooo

just4fun6464 — Thu, 08 Feb 2007 21:29:33 GMT

Many Thanks to all of you who sent out the good thoughts wishes, vibes etc. I got the Trauma ICU job. I will start the end of March with orientation to the hospital. Then 12 weeks of Trauma ICU training. I am so excited and thrilled I can't see striaight. So again thanks so much for the support, you were a huge help.

My Name in the Revolution...

just4fun6464 — Fri, 02 Feb 2007 19:14:43 GMT

Following the lead of Sister Boot Knife of Sweet Reason, AKA Kate, I have discovered my name with the Unitarian Jihad. When the revolution comes I will be known as....Sister Cutlass of Enlightened Compassion. It fits, I believe with the whole nurse thing quite nicely.

Vampire life ending in 18 days

just4fun6464 — Wed, 03 Jan 2007 05:22:22 GMT

For my friends I have to say sorry for my lack of communication, clarity and in some cases sanity. The experiment of my returning to night shift has nearly reached it's conclusion and the results are indesputible; I don't do nights. Well at least I don't do 4 eight hour nights a week. I might be able to do 2 12 hours shifts, we'll see. But I/we have found that my absence doesn't work for any of us. Seamus, our now 6 year old as of today, is having a particularly hard time with me being gone and when home, asleep. I feel as if my life has become work and sleep with little time for my life. Yes that is whiney. While we have decided that this is not a good choice for us, and I am bitching a bit. I more than most have had the great fortune of a supportive husband and a particularly wonderful girlfriend who not only watched the kids, but cook and cleaned my kitchen! And then fed me when I got us, including chocolate. Now that is a friend indeed. So as of January 21 I return to the light of day, kind of a groundhog day of sorts, although I don't think my re-emergence will bring an early spring.

Head Banging 101

just4fun6464 — Thu, 28 Dec 2006 09:01:53 GMT

Throughout my adult life I have felt I am a reasonable (mostly) individual with my share of brain cells. And yet I continue to bang my head against a specific wall with the results always being that I hurt and the wall remains solid and stong. I do not wish to change this wall, merely to soften it a bit; to make it bend perhaps. So I can appreciate the beauty of this wall, admire it's steadfastness and care for all that makes it what it is. Or I walk away saying it will never be what I want it to be; all that it is already and just a bit more. So do I continue to bang my head against it on occasion and have it's beauty, strength and integrity in my life knowing there will never be a change or do I walk away from it and forever feel the void it would leave?

And another new beginning

just4fun6464 — Tue, 05 Sep 2006 02:32:37 GMT

First I want all of you to know, I did not request, volunteer for, nor approve of my baby, my little girl, to start puberty. It was bad enough to have tho occasional mood swings, then yesterday we did that first bra shopping. Then today, massive mood swings, sweet and loving to tears to giddy to anger and then the next minute..... I sit here looking at a photo of my baby girl at about 1 year, in a play pen holding a toy phone which drove me out of my mind! When I took that photo I am certain I thought this was a good as it could get, that I loved this girl as much as I ever could or would. Now I look at my young woman, starting middle school tomorrow going through real, emotional and academic growing pains and realize I knew nothing about raising a child when I was raising a toddler. I knew nothing about loving a child when it took a kiss or tickle to make all boo boos better. Today I look at this person I brought into this world, loved, held and now I am starting to see that in a few short years I will need to begin letting go. I did not sign up for the turmoil which may rock our home for the next few years, but looking at my baby today, I certainly did not volunteer for the time to go so fast and for my baby, my little girl, to grow up in the blink of an eye.

Truth Serum

just4fun6464 — Tue, 04 Jul 2006 17:53:59 GMT

Heed these words. Grapefruit juice and Vodka from France combine to make a most potent truth serum! Last night after 1.5 of said potions I felt open, compelled even, to tell first my sister in law and then my brother (my BIG brother) that Tom and I are non-monogamous. Why you ask; I have no friggin idea. It could be that after 4 years I was confident this was going to be the way for the rest of our lives, who knows. So here I sit in the sunshine drinking a cup of coffee wondering about my next phone call with my brother.

This is my son

just4fun6464 — Thu, 01 Jun 2006 21:35:31 GMT

I just posted a general blog about Seamus and his chickens. As I walked upstairs looking for him I couldn't find him. I then looked outside to find farmer boy Bean hard at work, In my photos I have two pictures of himself working the land as only he can.

I simply love this

just4fun6464 — Thu, 01 Jun 2006 20:53:50 GMT

Many of you know, or at least know of, our youngest child Seamus. He is only 5 and already has a reputation. He is a wonderful, unique, adventuresome, chicken loving little boy. Last year he lost his beloved Blondie, a large blonde silkie chicken. This past Februray the wonderful Gabi and I replaced our coyote feed chickens with another batch of chicks. We now have several silkies but only one "blondie" type, the other died. This one is Coco, don't know why, along side her blondness is Sylvester. Seamus carries, hugs, climbs trees and now skateboards with his chickens.

Waiting take 2

just4fun6464 — Fri, 23 Dec 2005 07:53:00 GMT

I have been working on my waiting, allowing thing to develop as they will without my constant adjusting, anticipating and encouraging. So far, not liking it so much! Calm deep breathing, focusing, centering, grounding and continue breathing. And yet with each breath I want to adjust, if not to alter then expedite the outcome. How do you do this, how does one sit calmly by and allow thing to take their own course. Thus far it feel the courses have bypassed me completely. If it is not meant to be, so bit it, got that part. But closure, and ending point? Does one just live contentedly with these raggedy still open ends? Do you move on without understanding exactly what happened, without input in the process at least. Please, I beg of you, what drug gives you this sense of bliss and acceptance? What allows you this peaceful acceptance without resolution. I acknowledge, the control freak alter ego is writing this blog.

Waiting

just4fun6464 — Wed, 30 Nov 2005 08:30:19 GMT

It occured to me today that I am no better at waiting for things now than I was as a child. True, on the surfance I appear patient, but I do not approach waiting for things with the Zen like calm of some. This lack of patience is not for tangible "things", those I can wait for without problem (For the most part). It more wanting to know how things will turn out, wanting to see situations resolved, however they end up. I have even been known (I know this is awful) to read the last paragraph of a book to see what I can information I can glean. I continue to read the book to know the story, the details but at times can not wait for that finality. So my early New Year's resolution is to attempt to allow things to unfold as they will and try to remain peaceful throughout the process. Of course this is early as I can not wait another month.

Mourning

just4fun6464 — Wed, 23 Nov 2005 00:04:36 GMT

Today we lost our first chickens. We came home and found one body and one pile of feathers under a tree. While we like our chickens just fine, Blondie, a large golden Silky was the pet and favorite of Seamus. As I write this we haven't told him yet. Seamus would scoop up Blondie and carry her all over the property, into the tree fort, into my bed one morning and talked to her all the time. We don't know if it coyotes, neighbor dogs which we strongly suspect, racoons or what. After complaining a bit ago about sludging through the mud and muck of the pastures I would much rather do that than tell a 4 year old that Blondie has gone away and won't be coming back. I find it a bit silly that I am this sad about the loss of a chicken. Makes me more resolute in my feeling that when they finish laying, they will just be retired chickens.

The Farm Life

just4fun6464 — Sat, 29 Oct 2005 19:29:07 GMT

For those who know me well, you know I have waxed poetic about the farm life, the horses, chickens, smell of hay and all that crap. Well today is foggy, rainy and cold. My neighbor took down part of the fence yesterday without putting it back up. The horses discovered the break today, and went for a little explore. So here I am, 3 kids, one of whom is sick, one who is Dennis the Menace embodied, one who wants to go catch her horse and will be a hormonal spaz if she can't. We head out in the fog, rain and cold. The horses are about 1/2 mile or so down the mountain and in someone's yard. They have a lovely green and formerly manicured lawn. So now we catch the horses walk them back UP the hill, they are so covered in mud that we can't even ride them. Fix the fence and then onto the gait the wind has blown off. Which, of course is in the middle of a lake of muck made of water, mud, clay and of course horse shit! So animals are contained and fed. I am covered in mud and stuff. When I go on, because I will, about how wonderful life is in the country please remind me of this. The kicker to the whole experience was the two boys, left alone made lunch for their sister and I. The peeled about 20 satsumas and out them in a bowl with the pomegranate I had cleaned this morning. Fruit salad for lunch! I can't be angry because they are quite proud of their assistance in this moment of family crisis.

Watch what you wish for.

just4fun6464 — Thu, 27 Oct 2005 06:09:01 GMT

I have heard that phrase so many times in my life and yet each time I forget about it, well there it is. So I have been internally as well as verbally wishing for "One night on my own, no kids needing me, no Tom wanting company. Just alone time." Well here I am, I have my wish and what great things am I dooing, how am I expressing my freedom? I emptied out the last of the boxes of books in the computer room. For those of you who know about our potential move I'm certain there are a variety of psych considerations here. I have walked around the house looking for things to do, bored out of my skull. So upon reflection upon my current state I say to you, my friends, watch what you wish for, it may come. I wished for Tommy to have a friend, he found Forrest on the L, they now share a brain. Tommy center and Seamus R are mine,

Boys!!!!!

just4fun6464 — Fri, 21 Oct 2005 03:56:58 GMT

Today I spent a good portion of the day with 2 of my 3 favorite males in the world. Tom and Seamus, we went to Powell's Books, were all atacked by the memory erasing devises and bought far more books than planned. We had a good lunch together. The day was beautiful. We came home I spent time in my barn, which if you don't have one you need one. There is almost no better place in the world in which to relax, the sounds of my girls (aka chickens), the sweet smell of the new hay and the warm smell of our horses. Afte a couple hours blissing out there I went into the house. It seemed like such a good idea at the time. Tom made a great dinner, Bridget is doing so well at school we reviewed her homework, still blissful. And then we decend into not quite hell but almost. At bedtime, Seamus now has a black eye, has had his head closed in the door and Tommy my other favorite male in most instances, has been tackled and in too many timeouts to count. What is it about the male of our species which requires them to express everything physically, joy they tackle, anger they tackle, fear they tackle, hell as grown men and horny they tackle, what gives?

life's little curves

just4fun6464 — Tue, 18 Oct 2005 04:11:31 GMT

You know when things are quiet, uneventful and even boring; I for one, don't pay attention. It seems that life is supposed to be that way, rather than the chaotic baseline which is most of ours. It never fails that following that calm, when in the midst of the storm I say, "wait, back up I wasn't able to appreciate that quiet fully enough". Each time through that cycle I swear, next time..... Here we are again, not in the middle of a storm so much as at a crossroads. While not like Robert Johnson and looking at a deal with the devil, we are looking at a drastic life altering decision. Which way to go, which path to take. Robert Frost and his road less traveled is no inspiration either. (While I appear to have Robert theme here, not getting many answers.) Although having wise appearing foosteps on a snowy path would be appreciated. I can find many analagies for this decision, but none of them help with the verdict. Should I stay or should I go, changes in latittudes changes in attitudes. This would be a far easier thing if it were just myself and my future at stake, but now I have a clan. Now I have to be reasonable, prudent and all that other crap. I can't just choose and then if I don't like the outcome change my mind. That's it I'm having another glass of wine, and we'll see if clarity comes.

What a day!

just4fun6464 — Fri, 23 Sep 2005 04:23:14 GMT

Have you ever had a day where seemingly everything was perfect? I had one of those today. Nothing out of the ordinary happened, it was just an amazing day. We started by putting up another half acre or so in pasture for the horses. Tom, Seamus and I did the work together, very silly but lots of fun. After that I got to stand with the sun on my back and watch as our horses explored the field and gorged on the long grass. There was absolute peace on the mountain. All I could hear was the wind through the firs,the occasional cluck of our hens or the satisfied snorts of the horses. More work in and around the barn which is one of my "happy places". Then I got to take a nap with a sweet fuzzy kitten sleeping on me. Each time I moved he would readjust as well and begin to purr again. This was very sweet but won't be for long, once he starts to gain weght and is more than a pound or so, but today, it was good. The older two came home from school having also had great days. Bridget and I got to put all the animals away for the night and walked hand in hand back to the house, while she told me about her day and how she loved living here and having her horses. The evening ended up with me snuggling with Tommy who is 6. He read his first book to Tom and I. He was so proud! He was filled with joy and enthusiasm that he could now read. It was a wonderful, amazing moment to see our child filled to bursting with this. Words can not describe this feeling. So while things may have gone badly elsewhere in the country or the world today. Here in my little corner of the world, in simple quiet ways it was a beautiful, joyful day.