I find that at a certain point in my 'evolution' I passed my teachers... and found children speaking the truths I needed to hear, or the checkout clerk... or a sign post had the words that spoke into my thoughts, and I found my eyes focusing on them without real-eyesing why.

Now is the age of the spirit that imbues us all. everyone must be able to discern whether or not a truth resonates with you, or not.

the fear of change often manifests physically as pain. the conscious mind believes it would love to do away with the pain... while subconsciously we are choosing to continue to experience it rather than go further.

When I first opened my crown, I can remember feeling my awareness shift between my pure lighted crown, and all the lower chakras. it was like the lower were screaming 'don't let in all this light!'. yet it felt so divine, I did.

It awakened boatloads of fear. everything felt sexually charged, violent... everything seemed to be dying... it is these feelings that loom beneith and behind the change. While the pains may seem unendurable, they are often far preferable to facing the ego death, facing a wild prana flow which seems to want sex everywhere, facing repressed anger that manifests as rage that drives people to kill, or commit suicide.

And yet it is opening to the divine that also washes these feelings clean, and allows us to start anew.

I don't share these things to scare, I share them because they are there, and it is only through awareness, and humility, and the surredner to fierce love, that we can learn to move through them.

while I honor the many 'teachers along my path, ultimately it is the friendships, the company, and the unconditional love of others that brings me through.

living love, prana, chi, is everywhere. the 'answers' are everywhere. We choose what we trust, even if we are choosin to turn over our power to another person, that was our choice to begin with.

A Dine Peyote church guide taught me that. He expressed four contradictory ideas to me within an hour, each with fierce assertion. then laugh. the lesson?

I couldn't just trust 'him'. Because he was contradicting himself. Whatever I choose to trust.

Is me.