I love my environmental lawyer friend. She always makes me feel better, especially when people get their facts about heavy metals mixed up:

Me:

Dude, so when ****** and I were at Whole Foods, I attempted to make a funny at the sushi counter: Well, I can't eat anything with tuna as I probably want to have a baby in the next 15 years. She told me that if I had read anything about tuna, I would see that it takes about 12 slices a day for it to be harmful for me.

My mother the chemist thinks just about everything is a scam and refuses to get our ground water tested, but she has two nemeses: afla toxin in peanut butter, and mercury in tuna. She told me, like you, that I should lay off the tuna now if I don't want a thermometer for a kid; a few years ago, she told me to be really careful and only eat 1 steak every two weeks.

What is wrong with people? Why are we labeled as alarmist and crazy?

Environmental Lawyer friend:

Next time someone responds with a stupid ass remark- like the need to eat 12 slices a day of tuna for it to be harmful- just tell them that you are glad they are okay with their kids being stupid, but you want more for your children. And then comment that the seafood lobbyists worked hard to make sure people think tuna is safe, and people who listen to their propaganda ensure that their million dollar paychecks are worth it. Finish with the offhand comment that you care more about the science behind the impact of toxins on fetal development then playing Russian roulette with the health of your future children.