manifestations

down the Path we go...

khanwong — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 05:43:22 GMT

Every time I go to Carrboro I fall more and more in love with the place and the people. Well, at least *my* people who live there, but the overall vibe is so easy and comfortable. The first time I arrived there I felt kinship and a sense of belonging. Whether or not that would have been true if it weren't for the Hoop Path connection...? I really can't say; I'd believe either side of the story. I returned from my third trip there a couple of days ago and the smell of the air and the feel of the heat is still with me. More importantly, however, is the ever-strengthening bond with the community gathered around the hoop and Baxter's teaching. I have to admit it was an odd year for me. I used the word "liminal" earlier today to describe my experience and the more I think about it, the more I realize how apt the word is. From Wikipedia: "The liminal state is characterized by ambiguity, openness, and indeterminacy." "Liminal" is a word that well characterizes my experience this year because of the a) ambiguity: teacher or student? b) openness: participate in the exercises or assist others in performing them and c) indeterminacy: any combination of those circumstances (including none of them) could be the case. This was not a bad thing -- our very existence, after all, is a liminal state. This year Baxter invited me to assist in the workshops -- this role consisted largely of holding space (an understanding I did not fully have going into it although I thought I did), helping people understand the techniques and preventing blind collisions. Watching everyone in the blind/moving without the hoop exercise for the first time was so beautiful, and assisting people get shoulder and angle hooping was especially rewarding because I really struggled with those things (and still do, in different ways, even though I "get" them). As Bax noted in his opening talk on the first day, I sought him out one year at Center Camp. I did so because I sensed a kinship in how we approached our respective practices. I had only just begun with the hoop but what I perceived to be our shared practice wasn't really about the hoop -- the hoop was the Vessel through which our meeting was facilitated. It means a lot to me that Baxter asked me to take on this role because the Hoop Path has been instrumental in my process of uncovering my own Flow and what it means to me and beyond that, what community means to me and what having authentic relationships with other people rooted in mutual respect and love means to me. It's kind of easy to forget in our hoopy/spinny world, but mutual respect and love is not how the rest of the world generally conducts itself. I thought I had been holding myself back from my process -- and as a hooper, perhaps I was. I didn't give myself over to the exercises in the same way as I would have as a straight-up workshop participant. But at the same time, I think I got a different understanding of flow, a different understanding of HP techniques and I still came away with material to work with. So the hoop was the Vessel, and this post represents the Mind working through it all...and the Mystery...? That's gonna come out during an actual hoop session. I can't wait.

further adventures in flow

khanwong — Wed, 13 May 2009 00:43:08 GMT

Life has sure been a whirlwind lately! The past few months have provided many opportunities to teach, learn and show and, above all else, I am so grateful for the chances to be and create from the heart of who I am, not only my art but my life. What I've been thinking of as this "season" started back in March with the Spinagogue's show at Flux53. That was such a great and fun event to be part of and I loved sharing the stage with so much of our local circus talent. Also, I finally got to put together a performance based on a Kate Bush song, and I've been wanting to do something to Kate Bush forever! It was just never the right context/vibe for what was going on before so I was psyched the opportunity came up. I wish my actual performance had been cleaner, but it was a rewarding experience nonetheless. After that was the Northwest Hoop Gathering, which revolved (pardon the pun ;p) around the concept of Flow. So many great teachers at that event, I was kind of astonished to find myself included among them. Although I had taught technique classes before, this was my first workshop in which I got to express what my take on flow is, and how I approach it and think about it. It was the first time I got to teach the more philosophical elements of what I do, and it was also the first time I got to wear one of those headset mic thingies! I was nervous going into it, but it all flowed (pardon the pun again!) really well. The process of putting together my talk was fun and rewarding, and in addition to making my presentation, I got to soak up the wisdom, insight and skill of so many hoop masters! The Flow Show was a big success, both creatively and in terms of turn out. Of all the things written about in this post, this one was my baby. I knew we'd fill the house, but I really didn't expect the kind of crowd we ended up getting. What I take away from that is that there is a real interest in the community-at-large for what we do, and a real -- not sure what word to use -- hunger? yearning? desire? -- within the flow arts community specifically, to create and witness a different kind of performance than we're used to doing/seeing. As exposing the flow arts to a general/dance audience and encouraging/inspiring spinners of all kinds to think about performance in a different way/context were the main goals of the project, I'd say we pretty much nailed it. I've received so much positive feedback about the show; it's been really great to know that the idea struck a chord with people. I have to admit to a bit of self-interest though -- I basically set out to make the kind of show that I wanted to see! The final line-up was a great mix of local talent (the Vulcan Crew [including Memory & Ian, who also flew solo for this], Code Red Circus Conspiracy, Silverstar, Supervictorio, Bliss Butterfly and my partners in s.i.k., Josh & Rich), and far-flung hoop family (Bonnie, Ann & Bax) and international performers that I knew of but was both thrilled and surprised when they expressed interest in performing: MCP, Cyrille and Maelle. As well, it was a good mix of seasoned performers and those new to taking the stage. And the fact that there was live music and music specifically composed for this performance was just icing on the cake. (Thank you Jay & Pi for lending your musical talents to the show!) I really couldn't be happier with how it all unfolded, and look forward to putting together the next edition. Some notes for next time: get the audience participation part in, get the battle in, and either more shows or a bigger venue. The weekend after the show was Firedrums, which I had decided in a moment of stress to not go to and sold my ticket, then changed my mind and ended up getting a ticket and a ride from my friend Chris, also known as Musashii. Soooo glad I changed my mind on that. The weather was not ideal, but whatever, my mind was blown apart by learning new stuff on poi (which I haven't really played with much since I started hooping seriously) and, especially, clubs. I had really only seen club juggling before, but being exposed to club swinging and manipulation by Maelle's performance and then her workshop has opened a new door for me. In fact, all my practice time since Firedrums has been dedicated to clubs. I've clicked with the poi material I left off with, and I think hoop will remain my "primary" but the clubs...I am totally in love. So all that stuff happened in a period of about 8 weeks. Of course there was much prep and rehearsal time in there as part of the process. And I know for a fact that I am not the only in our community with all this going on, and in fact there are those I could name that have/had even more going on than this! I feel so blessed to be part of a community that is so dynamic and creative and I love how much collaboration there is and I personally see all of our individual projects and goings-on as elements of a really big project, of developing new art and creating new community and culture. It makes my heart sing just to be part of it. No big projects for me right now (except maybe another CoL video) -- the next months will be all about learning, training, playing and getting ready for the next period of activity. I'm sure I'll see many of you around -- we move in the same circles after all. (hee hee, sorry i couldn't resist the pun). big love!

it's time to sparkle!

khanwong — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 19:11:12 GMT

Back in December, I put a little call out to my friends of the Flow to see who wanted to take part in a little project I had in mind. The response was beyond what I'd anticipated -- including interest from spinners I admired on YouTube but had never even met before. It definitely proved to me that there is a hunger in the spinning world to do this kind of performance, this kind of show. I'll post more about the experience of making the show after it happens, but for now I'm just really really excited to see it. Come join us! The Flow Show Friday, April 24, 2009 7:30 doors / 8 p.m. show FREE at CounterPULSE, 1310 Mission Street @ 9th in San Francisco For info on the performers: http://flowshow.wordpress.com

jane says...

khanwong — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 05:35:56 GMT

Okay I totally need to have a fanboy moment...Jane's Addiction, fuck yeah! I haven't really been paying much attention to what's happening in the music world lately, preferring instead to explore artists I've been curious about for a while (Dresden Dolls -- awesome) and artists that come up in my social networking forays (Zoe Keating -- hello!). So it was with tremendous excitement and surprise that I learned that the original line-up of Jane's Addiction was reuniting, recording new material with Trent Reznor producing and going on tour with Nine Inch Nails on what is to be, most likely, NiN's last tour for a long while. I first got into Jane's Addiction the first night I ever dropped acid. The blotter paper had musical notes on it, and we were sitting in my friend Brian's room and he was like "you have to check this out" and he pulled out a copy of "Nothing's Shocking" and played "Jane Says". He then proceeded to flip the tape (cassette!!) rewind it to the beginning, and started it over. Those first notes of that lilting bassline from "Up the Beach" grabbed me and haven't really let me go ever since. In that altered state, the thrumming music and Perry Farrel's whiny yet compelling voice worked their way right into my cells. It was like my brain contained the neural receptors to receive this -- just this -- music and the connection was designed to send my imagination flying out into the cosmos. Shortly after that was spring break. I didn't make any plans, and instead opted to go home, where I proceeded to get baked, drive around with my good friend Scott listening to "Nothing's Shocking" really really loud in his Toyota hatchback and wrote a sonnet sequence about unrequited love. That was a pretty awesome spring. My first Jane's show was at the Springfield Colliseum in Springfield, MA. The band -- all 4 of them -- walked out onto the stage in long hippie skirts, all of them shirtless. The stage was festooned with Christmas lights and flowers and incense. I had previously experienced the rock show as heart-filling community experience (U2) but this show was my first experience of the rock show as hedonistic transcendent shamanic cosmic mindfuck. I had shared a joint with the friends I was with and drank some Jagermeister but my buzz was well within "normal." It was that beautiful, raw, throbbing, seemingly channeled music that sent my mind and spirit flying out of my body into that other place. I've never really been the same since and that show (and the two other Jane's shows I experienced during those years) set the standard by which I gauge live musical performance, by which I gauge rock -n- roll. In my current life, I am surrounded by people who adore whompy glitchy twitchy stuff, and dancehall, and various versions of techno and house, and hip-hop and strange post-rock abstractions, all deconstructed and floaty. And it's all about the beat, the beat, the beat. And I appreciate that stuff, I really do. But in my mind, nothing compares to these four men, psychicallly in-tune, channeling the ancient gods with those pounding polyrhythmic drums (talk about a fucking beat!!), and those lilting, melodic yet menacing basslines, and that crunchy surging guitar and that caterwaul of a voice with songs about summertime, and sex and drugs and hookers. Pagan, profane and the most transcendent musical experiences I've ever had. It's been twelve years since I've seen them, and they've grown up as I have. But to see the original line-up together again playing those songs (and I'm curious about the new ones too) just makes me giddy with joy. GIDDY. I can't fucking wait.

gratitude for art and learning!

khanwong — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 23:13:09 GMT

On occasion, as part of my job, I meet with cultural workers from other countries who are visiting the U.S. under the auspices of a State Department program, who come here to meet with their colleagues and equivalents to see how it’s done in America. I have met with Eastern European choreographers, Vietnamese poets, the editors of a Cambodian literary magazine, Mexican performance artists…a wide range of disciplines and nationalities. Today I had a visit from the director of the Umm al-Fahm Art Gallery, the only gallery in Umm al-Fahm, the largest Muslim town in Israel (population ~ 40,000 – a bit less than Black Rock City). This gallery represents the entirety of the arts activity in this region. He is seeking to build the Arab Museum of Modern Art there, which, when built, will feature the work of contemporary Arab artists and be a cultural draw for the region and boost the local economy (as arts activities tend to do wherever they are, according to a butt-load of research by various policy wonks). He was accompanied by an advisor assisiting him with the fundraising and planning and a State Department official. They explained how in their community, any kind of arts activity tends to be viewed as subversive and is met with immediate suspicion by the authorities. A primary cause of this is Islam’s prohibition against drawing and depictions of the human form. So the very fact that a visual arts gallery has been established and has survived (since 1996) is no small feat – it makes the museum project, an ambitious one no matter where it were to happen, all the more ambitious and visionary. (As a side note, they showed me architectural drawings of the building and it’s really cool.) Given this background, they were fascinated that the City of San Francisco actually makes budget appropriations to support the arts, and when I told them our grants budget for this current fiscal year (approximately $12 million) they were dumbfounded. Such an amount of municipal support for the arts in one city was astounding to them. In an off-hand comment, the Israeli advisor (not the gallery director) noted that we fund gay & lesbian arts organizations and he said “that would never happen” where they were from and “they would be run out of town.” Not a surprise to me but to hear somebody say it plainly, based on personal experience, really caused a different kind of reaction. The experience of this meeting was both humbling and inspiring for me. It made me realize how extraordinarily lucky I am that not only do I still have a job in this economy (for now anyway, knock on wood) but also that my job is doing this kind of work. I really have no business complaining about it, ever. It’s also reaffirmed my belief in the power of the arts to form community, build bridges between different communities, and help us humans transcend our daily realities and find meaning in what are some truly fucked-up circumstances in many places in the world. It also has shortened my patience with those of our constituents who complain that we at my agency and the City in general don’t do enough to support the arts and how they deserve more money, etc. etc., whine whine. What a little bubble San Franciscans (and some of its artists) live in. It’s felt really good to be this engaged with my job (I have some other projects going on that are interesting to me but I won’t go on about here) as I haven’t felt this way for a while. Plus, on top of that, I have a lot going on in my creative life as well: I begin teaching hoop classes at the Y in a couple of weeks, plus I’m presenting a workshop at the Northwest Hoop Gathering (http://www.hoopdazzle.com/index.html), performing in the Spinagogue variety show at Flux53 (http://www.spinagogue.net/) and of course there’s the Flow Show (http://flowshow.wordpress.com) . For these opportunities to learn, teach & show, I am so so grateful.

the end of money = the end of ego?

khanwong — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 00:14:36 GMT

It's not as simple as that, but an article I just read is sending my thoughts swirling into this little tidepool of thinking. "In tribal cultures, art was not seen as an individual creation, but as the channeling of something from beyond oneself. People did not take personal credit. To do so would have been blasphemous." "What can you contribute to a more beautiful world? That is your only responsibility and your only security. " Both quotes are by Charles Eisenstein, the latter from this article: http://www.realitysandwich.com/money_and_crisis_civilization, the former in a comment he posted on that same article, in response to what someone else posted about Burning Man. These two quotes are sparking something in me, and are kind of serving as the two ends of a thought-circuit. The thought has to do with the commodification of art and how that's served to a) remove art from our daily lives and devalue it in terms of cultural worth and appreciation outside of what's perceived to be "elite" circles while at the same time inflating the monetary value on the market for art by name brand artists and b) how that very same dynamic -- that of commodification -- actually creates a lot of ego around art as well as feeds the related anxieties around ownership/copyright/etc. Would ego arise if we lived in a world where the basic necessities of life were not consumer goods? Would ego arise in creative disciplines if we did not have models of fame & celebrity that exist in a consumer/commodified world? Would ego arise (in both self-inflating and self-deflating ways) if art was still considered "the channeling of something from beyond oneself."? Would ego arise if such awareness of "something from beyond oneself" was the root from which our culture and society grew? What if creativity was as deeply held a value in human civilization as money is now? ""What can you contribute to a more beautiful world? That is your only responsibility and your only security. " What if we actually lived this way? I am struggling to keep in mind that this is ultimately what I am working on. If in my day-job I can guide funding to organizations and artists creating work and programming that can nurture these shifts in our cultural psyche then I'm doing my job (even though it's not necessarily my "job" that I get paid $ for. It is on the mechanics level, but not so much on the content/philosophical level). If in my own creative work as a hooper or flow artist or writer or whatever I can let go of my personal attachment to what I've made and truly create in the spirit of serving as a channel "for something beyond myself" and not bolstering my own reputation, then I am truly doing my job. If I can create in the spirit of answering the call "what can you contribute to a more beautiful world" then that's really really serving the purpose of art in this world. The other thing this article and this train of thought is bringing up for me is how tied up our political/ecological/economic/social crises and problems all come down to a matter of spirit. That is, our complete separation from spirit as a society. The problems are bound up together and so the solutions must also be integrative. The more I think on this the more I see that collapse cannot be averted, nor should it be. Our role as members in the emergent society represented by Burning Man and the Festival scene and 2012 followers and you know who I mean, is not so much to change this world but to be ready to build the next one when this one inevitably falls. I get that now in a way I didn't before.

~°~ calling friends of the flow ~°~

khanwong — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 07:00:55 GMT

Have you ever wondered if your performance was not fire and was not glow, if you had a blank stage, dance/theater lighting available, any kind of music you want and the freedom to fully express your inner reality in a dance with your prop, and if you were creating this for an audience that was there specifically to watch you flow -- not to party/dance, not for a fashion show, not to benefit anything (except themselves and those performing) and most definitely not to watch a Man burn -- what would you do? I suspect it would look different from your usual party/burn performance, but it might not (pushing into a new way seems more fun). I'd love for us to discover which it was (and sometimes why). I want to see that show! I’m thinking a showcase format, many different artists and/or troupes representing a variety of props and approaches, presented in two acts with an intermission over the course of a weekend. Top choices of venue are CounterPULSE (where I staged my last show) and Dance Mission Theater. No overarching theme or narrative though individual performances can have their own (it's always possible one could organically arise). Hoping for a mix of group choreography and solo work (with perhaps a bit of metaphor?). Some freestyle in the mix as it is an important component of the flow arts, but the aim here is for something a bit more consciously shaped. Maybe a freestyle/chaos/battle finale? I am only just starting to think this through but it's clear I ain't doing this by myself. I can't dance all the parts of the hoop waltzes in my head all by my lonesome for one thing, and battling myself would just be silly. Co-creators on this endeavor are most welcome, whether you just want to perform something you already have prepared or want to collaborate more deeply, on either a dance or the production itself. Once I have a better idea of who's interested we'll meet and go over the plan and timeline. The show will be at least six-months out (depends on venue availability -- they tend to get booked far in advance), so there's time to practice and find a new flow. So…anybody wanna play? *painting by Michael Parkes

the real project is living this way

khanwong — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 18:59:48 GMT

If you are content with being nobody in particular, content not to stand out, you align yourself with the power of the universe. ~ Eckhart Tolle image: "plenty of emptiness" by Horacio Cardozo

the art of saving the world

khanwong — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 20:25:19 GMT

“…in the marketing society, we seek fulfillment but settle for abundance. Prisoners of plenty, we have the freedom to consume instead of the freedom to find our place in the world.” ~ Clive Hamilton This past Monday, I attended a convening of artists, arts administrators, and government officials on the topic of art & environmentalism. The springboard for the discussion was the book “The Bridge at the Edge of the World,” [ http://www.amazon.com/Bridge-Edge-World-Environment-Sustainability/dp/0300136110 ] by James Gustave Speth, an environmentalist and professor at Yale [ http://environment.yale.edu/people/240-James-Gustave-Speth/parent:faculty/ ]. The gist of the book is that capitalism and its cult/fetishization of “economic growth” is inherently anti-environment and one of its points is that the environmental movement should incorporate, on a fundamental level, social justice issues. Currently the two camps of activists – environmentalists and social justice workers – don’t consider the other issue relevant to their cause but in reality the two are intrinsically linked. I won’t summarize the rationale here as that would take too long, but the long and short of it is that “going green” is really a superficial fix that really isn’t a long-term fix, and that in order for total environmental collapse to be avoided, a fundamental shift in the culture at large must occur that goes beyond recycling, fuel efficiency and “green” products. Part of the shift is a reconnection with nature, a shift in consciousness in which we view ourselves as a part of nature, rather than nature as a field of resources for our use (inherent in this is a reconnection with our fellow humans) and the other part is the abandonment of consumerism and capitalism as we know it. Art, of course, has the power to effect that kind of change but it too is bound up in the same paradigm – the commodification of art objects and the model of the audience as passive consumers of art experiences is reflective of the way the consumer culture mindset pervades even those realms where people like to think they’re inoculated. As Speth notes in the book, this is evidence of the insidious ability of the market to work its way into areas it doesn’t belong. Of course the entire notion that the market doesn’t belong anywhere is anathema to the current system. Because of this dynamic, art, as practiced and viewed in the U.S., is effectively neutered as a cultural force. True believers don’t see it as such, and those of us who get the power of art, get it. But its marginalization in mainstream culture is a result of this dynamic. Burning Man culture with its focus on participation and the “no spectators” ethos is an influence against the kind of passivity the culture at large encourages but I must admit the thought of the carbon footprint of that event makes me die a little inside. The conversation on that day reinvigorated me and reminded me why I was attracted to the arts in the first place. There is that creative spark that seeks expression, yes, but beyond that is the urge, cliché as it sounds, to change the world. That is the challenge before all of us, whether we're artists or not. [photo is of a work by Andy Goldsworthy]

my drinking buddy

khanwong — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 19:00:33 GMT

Although I do tend to keep up with popculture without really trying (it's a weird thing, I know about celebrities without actually paying attention, and know details about movies and TV shows I've never seen and have no intention of seeing), celebrity worship is not something I tend towards. I don't have CNN (no cable) and though I know who Anderson Cooper is, I don't think of him much or pay much attention to him generally, although I do concede that he's a rather handsome man. So it's weird to me that he showed up in my dream last night as my drinking buddy. Nothing extraordinary happened in the dream, it was very everyday slice-of-life. The dream was a series of scenes of us hanging out either in his apartment or mine, sitting around sipping whiskey and talking about life, and at one point I was actually teaching him how to hoop. At another, we'd just had dinner and since he cooked I was doing the dishes while he sat in the kitchen and he was saying how at the end of the world, "you don't fall in love in the Bay Area or with the Bay Area, you fall in love *through* the Bay Area." That's exactly what he said in the dream. I have no idea what that means. Also, I called him "Coop". "Hey Coop pour me another drink would ya?" The only other time I had a celebrity dream was when me and Madonna were in the same yoga class. After class we went and got smoothies and dished about the hot guys and how downward dog showed off their asses. What do Madonna and Anderson Cooper say about my psyche? Do I secretly yearn to be in the spotlight by association? I find that thought rather unsettling. But anyway, cheers Coop. Here's to your health.

woo hoo!

khanwong — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 21:31:18 GMT

I normally don't like posting blogs so close to each other, but wanted to make a bit of an announcement.... Lucian and I collaborated on a video project earlier this year for the Circles of Light competition held by Home of Poi, and I just found out today that the video was accepted! I hoop (in a skirt!) and the video is set to Lucian's music. I'm very excited to be included. There's prizes for 1st, 2nd & 3rd place -- and the caliber of talent on this edition is scary-good, and includes two previous first place winners. Folks in the firespinning/poi/staff world will know many of the names (like Bluecat, MCP, Durbs, Nick Woolsey, Clare of Firepoise, Sage, Yuta, Sandy and our local rockstars Noel & Ian -- I mean, holy shit, right?). Also Firegroove is included as well, a troupe that features the gorgeous sisters Hannah and Kamala, whom I've just had the pleasure of meeting at Hoop Camp. The dvd goes on sale in a couple weeks; prizes won't be announced until probably November. I'm confident in the entry video-making wise. Spinning wise, I think my hooping is strong, but as strong as the staff or poi skills of the other folks involved? I dunno about that one...I mean, it really doesn't get any better. Also, it was shot in May, and a lot in my hooping has shifted since then. I'm just psyched to be included in such illustrious company. The full listing is here: http://www.homeofpoi.com/articles/COL2008.php I'm stoked!

circles & galaxies & love ~ hoopcamp reflections

khanwong — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 19:17:54 GMT

By the end of the weekend I just could not hoop anymore. Sitting in the grass, in the warm sun, watching the others whirling and whirling -- I really wanted to get up and go, get up and have one more hoop but I just couldn't. The previous days of workshops utterly and completely kicked my ass. I even missed two workshops that Sunday because I decided to sleep instead. What a wus! Every workshop I took I got something from. Although it wasn't all stuff that I intend to pursue, it was all useful in expanding my conception of what hooping can be and brought into sharper focus what it is that I do, what I'm about hoop-wise. A common thread through all the workshops was the idea of self-acceptance and love and not listening to that "I can't" voice. Anah's encouragement to embrace our dorkiness was refreshing and unexpected. I (and I know I'm not the only one) sometimes hold myself back out of fear of looking like a total dork and Anah's class and Stefan's as well pushed us to get over that. They reinforced for me the idea of pushing past my comfort zone -- it's in that space beyond that breakthroughs take place. Sharna's workshop brought out the silly, giddy kid inside. I'd say that spirit-wise, it was the one that I needed the most. I have a tendency towards seriousness, particularly in my creative outlets. I always "take it seriously." I'm sure I take myself too seriously sometimes. But playing with these toys started out as just that ~ play. I've been so caught up in learning difficult moves and wanting to be a badass that I lost my connection with this core element of what we do. Play and spontaneity is Sharna's genius. I marvel at her hooping and realize now that yes -- technical prowess is definitely part of it -- but more essentially it's the freedom that play brings that allows her to find all those intricate transitions that she finds. Play too, helps us overcome the fear of dorkiness. Jewels' workshop was the one that came closest to hooping as object manipulation. Hooping is a form of object manipulation, of course, but I felt that her focus on the helix formation really brought a different kind of focus to the hoop as object, as opposed to the hoop as space...if that makes any sense. Our awareness was brought to this interlocking shape, and how to maintain and manipulate it, as much as to the dance. Twins work is in my future... The workshops led by Shredder and Bunny were for me the most technically challenging. The strength and control that these two women bring to their art is truly impressive. I took away from Shredder's workshop the importance of total body awareness, and I'm going to work on increasing my flexibility; that's as important as getting the moves and is key to opening up and expanding flow. Bunny's workshop demonstrated how different circus hooping is from hoop dance or flow hoop or whatever you want to call the predominant mode represented at the retreat. It's a really different way of holding the body and moving the core. In some ways, it's the polar opposite approach. I will probably not be pursuing handstands and four-hoop circus-style, but the exposure to these techniques was still helpful for me. Plus, in Bunny's workshop Sharna and I got to toss hoops at each other! We buddied up for this exercise and it was quite fun. Tossing and catching are not my strong suits though (sorry Sharna!). The workshops that felt like home were those led by Spiral and the Hoop Path crew of Baxter, Beth & Ann. The techniques demonstrated and ideas presented in these are what I have gravitated towards naturally on my journey so far, and the awareness of an inner life and sacred energy being expressed through the hoop really parallels my own ideas on flow. Of all the different perspectives, approaches and schools of thought represented, it was this set that most resonated. This set was totally my homebase, in which I grounded myself and from which I reached out into the other methods Beyond all the learning, the community really came together and was a wonderful thing to behold. It was great meeting new people, as well as reuniting with a number of hoopers I'd met in Carrboro earlier this year. Of the 90 attendees, there were only 8 men and one of the highlights for me was the time we had down at the field where it was just the boys (along with Beth & Erica). That morphed into a field full of psihoops and that was truly spectacular to see. Each hoop was like a galaxy spinning out in the darkness, and each hooper the driving force of his or her own galaxy -- so many worlds & realities. So much love contained in the circle. As Anah would say, yumminess. p.s. pic is by natasha/silverstar

flow ~ the thesis

khanwong — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 20:21:00 GMT

So earlier this year, I started writing a flow workshop intended to be a multi-tool class. That is, a workshop where hoopers, poi spinners, staff, contact jugglers, etc., could all participate at once. The idea was to talk about flow, rather than particular techniques specific to any one flow toy. I wrote this workshop and kind of lost confidence in both my ideas and teaching ability so I've never offered it anywhere. This has been a recurring theme in my life -- even though I've put out videos and done a one-man show -- and have demonstrated the ability to pull off project ideas, I more frequently totally sabotage myself and back down from opportunities (both self-generated ones and offers from others) because I slip into an "I don't really have anything worthwhile to offer" kind of place. That lack of action has been kind of bugging me lately, both because I want to offer these ideas to the flow community, but also on a personal level of believing in my own abilities and "owning my personal power" so to speak. A recent thread in the hula hooping tribe has made me think about these ideas again and it occurred to me to post the general thesis here and see what people think. Because the subject is flow itself and not particular hoop or poi or whatever techniques, and given the overall context of how this is all related to my own psychic/emotional stuff, it seemed the blog was a more appropriate place to post, rather than a hoop tribe or a poi tribe. The interesting thing for me in revisiting this material is how much it relates to the issue I mention above. I should listen to myself I guess. So anyway the general idea is expressed as follows: on Resistance Flow arises out of change – one move to another. There are physical descriptors of how a particular maneuver is accomplished: the timing, how your hand should be positioned, when you should turn or step. Those descriptors don't get at how you get there energetically. They don't get at what it feels like for you to do it. That feeling & energetic awareness is what you need to find to find flow because that’s what flow is – the path you take to get there. Your own path of least resistance. Least resistance doesn’t mean no resistance. But it does mean “know resistance” – know that you will encounter it and know you can work through it. on Familiarity Familiarity is knowing each move very well. It also means knowing the possibilities whether you are at present technically able to do something or not. It also means knowing different variations on any particular move. Personal flow arises from how we do the moves we know (everyone basically works from the same set) as well as what moves we choose to learn and what techniques we choose to pursue and adopt into our flow. on Multiple states of being Flow requires multiple states. You may be able to do { ___ move} flawlessly, but when that happens, what’s being demonstrated isn’t flow but familiarity with {___ move}. In other words, one state of being. Flow arises from change – the transition from one move to another; one state of being to another. In order for that change to happen, you need both familiarity with where you are and where you're going (the moves) and the ability to overcome whatever resistance there is to change (the transitions). From two different moves you know well, you see a smooth transition, from one state of being to another, there and back, fluidly. You’re seeing the beginning of flow, but it's not full-on flow. For flow to fully arise, you need a minimum of three states. Not just a duality, but a negotiation of more than two choices. A move to B move to C move back to A move or back to B move or repeat C move then to B or then to A then to B or to C and so on. And then there's this probability/flow chart I can't recreate here. The workshop goes onto some exercises to demonstrate the above, and then moves on to other concepts but the gist of the whole thing is pretty much right there. So I guess my question is -- does this make any kind of sense at all? I can't really view it critically. Any feedback -- even (especially) if you disagree would be welcome. If you do disagree, a note about *why* you disagree would be useful.

obsessed with my mage -- "my mage" being a euphemism for things of great psychic and emotional import

khanwong — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 07:09:00 GMT

...the "to me" implied in the headline should go without saying, yes? It is a blog after all... Tonight, I was on a quest in World of Warcraft, and it was my first group outing with a bunch of players from the guild I just joined and we were ambushed by a patrol of the enemy. So I did what any good mage would do (I guess, I'm new to this so I don't know) and I froze them all with my Frost Nova then Blizzard-ed them then threw in a couple of Arcane Explosions and then they were all dead. There were six of them and five of us, but I killed all six of them by myself while the rest of my party watched; by the end of it I was standing alone amongst a bunch of corpses sending up that glittery effect that lets you know there's loot to be had. Someone said "sweet" and someone else said "you just saved my ass" so I guess I made a good first impression on my guild. Oh the joys of being a blue-skinned, horned, hooved, amply-bossomed-with-a-tail spellcaster in an online fantasy roleplaying game! Yes I have now geeked out beyond all salvation. Please don't try to save me lest you be sucked into this vortex yourself...oh wait was I just beckoning you with a wavy finger motion? No I wasn't, I really wasn't...these are not the droids you're looking for. Then my quest was interrupted by two friends who showed up at my place with "a surprise." So I told my in-game party I had to be AFK for a bit (away from keyboard) and went out to see about this surprise, and it turns out they bought a frickin' RV and had it parked in the driveway of my building. So what was there to do but climb aboard and drink some wine by candlelight? Coincidentally, it was the same kind of RV the Fish used to be before she was a Fish. All I can say is this RV will be a pretty sweet mobile party palace. They've dubbed it the Satellite, but Marty and I call it the "Satellite of Love" and sing the song in its honor. Oh yes. * bum bum bum satellite of of love...* But really I wanted to post about my burn this year. In short it was fantastic. Mellow, chill, laid-back, minimal drama, awesome campmates and some of the best meals I've had on the playa. Quality time with some good friends, good hoop time even though I didn't actually hoop all that much, I drove the Fish for the first time on playa and had some fantastic conversations with random people on board the Fish -- my first time for that actually. That was great. It was a good interpersonal year and a much appreciated reset of my relationship to the event, Black Rock City and the playa, coming off of last year's over-committed madness. Plus, I had not one single nosebleed, when I normally get 2 or 3 a day (on playa, not in real life). It wouldn't be Burning Man (to me) if I wasn't confronted with my issues and I certainly was this year, in the unlikeliest (and safest) of places. I was hanging out with a bunch of hoopers and I totally had a Zeppo moment. Without the bomb and the zombies. Okay that was a gratuitous but completely relevant Buffy reference, and furthers my thesis statement re: geeking out beyond all salvation on this very night. So "The Zeppo" was an episode of Buffy, season 3, in which Xander, Buffy's stalwart BF, faces the fact that he is the only one in his social group -- consisting of 2 Slayers, a witch and a werewolf -- that does not have superpowers of some kind. I had a similar realization, hanging out at Hoop Heaven, and watching my hoop friends each take a turn on the floor, so to speak. I was like "I'm the only one without superpowers in this group." Xander got over his issues by having a crazy night in which he put down a few zombies and faced down his bully/tormentor (also a zombie at this point), lost his virginity (to Faith, the bad-girl slayer how I love her) and defused a bomb. I had no such cathartic violence but I did face down my demon and it was a necessary battle. I had thought I would drive the Fish more often but glad I got some time in, and really happy about the time I spent with some cherished people in my life. That was just what I had hoped to get from this spin on the playa. But now I have this idea for a questing "Warcraft" inspired type game on playa, and the thought that this past burn would be the last for a while is seeming...unlikely. As if I was hit by an anti-resistance DoT spell by some conniving Warlock...those friggin' locks. I'd sheep 'em all forever if I could. For those of you not familiar with World of Warcraft or Buffy...sorry for the geek out but not really. ;p I wonder how much spell damage my hoop is capable of...there's probably no armor with isolation resistance and if I throw in some antispin...

okay i give in

khanwong — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 18:54:00 GMT

the peer pressure finally got to me. it's all official now -- i am black rock city bound. see y'all out there. let's hoop our asses off!!

big top magazine interview

khanwong — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 17:33:18 GMT

A few weeks ago, Andrea was in town. While here, she and I were interviewed by kSea flux for Big Top Magazine, about our circus in Thailand experience. A good chunk of the interview was lost, but it's a cool article about the project. Click on "Laughing for LIfe": http://www.bigtopmagazine.com/TenInOne/featuresjuly.html

reset ~ further notes along the path

khanwong — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 14:01:24 GMT

Got back from the Hoop Path retreat a couple of days ago and have found myself going to bed early and getting up earlier than usual. That little bit of time on the east coast seems to have reset my internal clock and I'm taking the opportunity to become a morning person. Today I got up at 6 a.m. (9 east coast time, my body is still kind of there) and did a bunch of dishes and I'm writing this blog and will start my hoop practice at 7 before going to work. I hope I can keep this going, I'm liking it, the extra hoop time. Two whole hours before going to work!! The Retreat was a wonderful and heart-filling time. Another pilgrimage to the hooping holy land! That might be overstating it but that's the story I live when I go. I have to admit to a bit of trepidation going into it this year, knowing how many more people were going to be there. And indeed I didn't get to meet or connect with everyone, but I did meet some new people and met in person some tribe friends and got to see some beloved people who live far away (though not as much as I wanted). I am constantly amazed at the beauty of the community that gathers in the circle of the hoop -- it is something I see time and again at hoop gatherings and something I hope I never take for granted. One of the greatest gifts in life, to me. The theme of gratitude kept coming up while at the Retreat, and in the few posts I've seen since. And there is so much to be grateful for! Once again the generosity and hospitality of the Carrboro community was heartwarming and inspiring. I hope to be as generous and hospitable when I have the opportunity to play host to flowsters of all sorts visiting San Francisco, taking the Hoop Path-ers as an example. Tribe really is more than just a word; the sense of kinship sparked from my first visit to Carrboro was reinforced on this trip. Plus there was such a concentration of folks from the Bay Area! It seems to me we are sister cities (sister regions?) in the hoop! I have taken a lot of Baxter's workshops now -- I think I've taken more classes from him than from any other teacher in any of the flow disciplines I practice. Although we've covered many of the same techniques each time, it never feels repetitive. I go deeper and deeper and new gems come sparkling up. What I appreciate most, and the aspect of Baxter's teaching that I find most innovative, is the story and mythology in which the techniques are framed. The workshops aren't just clinics on technique, but a wholly immersive experience. We go into another world and when it's over, that world informs how we live in the "real" one. So much more than just hooping. Or the hoop expands beyond just my little self and the circle's reach contains all aspects of how I live my life. Creativity and Art. Friendship and Community. Pe*A*ce and Flow. Transformation. And indeed, I have already felt a transformation, a shift in my flow. I felt it on the third day, at the hooper's ball, with the power out and the community drumming on the bleachers and Tim playing sax in an impromptu jam -- a gear shift, the new learnings clicking into place. The other unexpected thing is I am starting to really appreciate hip-hop in a way I haven't before because of Baxter & Ann. During the last workshop we hooped to the Massive Attaack/Mos Def track "I Against I" (the soundtrack to one of my favorite hooping videos ever, made by Ann) and when I got home I tracked it down (surprisingly hard to find online -- it's not on iTunes; I got it off Amazon) and have just hooped and hooped to it, looping it over and over. I never really liked hip-hop before but there's been a shift there too. Similar to when I first "got" Pink Floyd and techno -- but no drugs involved with the getting of it this time! LOL. Thank you Carrboro Hoop Path-ers. Thank you Bax and Ann. You guys rock and I love you! Now it's time for my morning hoop. This one's for you. Pe*A*ce

struggling to stay awake

khanwong — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 20:33:50 GMT

I'm really kind of lazy. My parents always said I was, and even my friend Emo, who calls me up at 10 or 11 a.m. on a Saturday morning and discovers I'm still in bed exclaims "Lazy!" in that bitchy intonation particular to gay men, of which he is a master. I stay in bed for as long as I can, luxuriating in the coziness of the covers, and the sun streaming in through the sheers. (There are no real curtains on our bedroom windows because we have been too lazy to deal with window treatments.) It's really difficult for me to bring myself into full wakefulness out of sleep, and I hover in that groggy somnambulent place until the desire for caffeine becomes to strong, or the need to pee, or I decide, finally, it's time to get on with my day. Needless to say I am not a morning person. It's occurred to me recently that this is an apt metaphor for matters relating to my spiritual life. Back in 1996, in Chicago, I was taking Buster (mine & Marty's canine companion who passed in 2000) for a walk. We were heading for the lake and I was struck with the thought "it's time to wake-up". It was a voice in my head, but it wasn't really my voice. It seemed like it came from outside of me, or beyond me somehow. That was when I started exploring channeled materials, eastern religions and what would be considered "new age" spirituality and the concept of spiritual awakening. The thing is, my laziness came into play here also -- although I know it's time to wake up and the alarm is ringing, I just keep hitting the snooze button because it's just too comfortable under the covers and floating in that drowsy state. I think I've pushed it as far as I can, and it's pretty clear to me that now it's time to get on with it. What is "it"? Why the co-creation of a new reality of course! I've read two books lately that have been helping me with this struggle. One is Eckhart Tolle's "The Power of Now" and the other is Daniel Quinn's "Ishmael." The Tolle book has been floating around my house for a few years -- it was given to Marty as a thank you from the staff of the CIIS (California Institute of Integral Studies) for his help with arranging a speaking engagement there for Eckhart. For some reason I decided a couple months ago it was time to read it. "Ishmael" I had never heard of until the drive back from Lightning in a Bottle and Rich and Miss Rosie were talking about it. The experience of these two books for me has been really interesting. It's not so much that my entire paradigm of reality has been shattered and I've suddenly plunged down the rabbit-hole, but more like I've been reminded that I've been down the rabbit-hole for some time now but have been distracted, and some focus has been brought back. With both these books, my reaction has been "well of course that makes so much sense." This is far different from my reaction to "The Celestine Prophecy" where I was like "wha--?" Although there were some intriguing concepts there too, buried under all the hokeyness. What is referred to as Mother Culture in "Ishmael" is the comfy bed in which so many of us lie, drowsy, under the duvet, hitting snooze, not realizing that the bedroom is on fire. Or maybe realizing and just not caring. * * * * The other day, on the first day of the newly-legal gay marriage ceremonies happening here at City Hall, my friend Nash stopped by to check out all the hoopla of the historic occasion. He came up to my office to say hello and we chatted about this and that and he asked me what my plans were for Pride. (The gay pride festivities happen the last weekend of June in San Francisco.) I told him I was going to a hoop retreat in Carrboro (incidently, where he grew up). He expressed bemused surprise that on the biggest celebration/party in the center of the gay universe in this historic year that I was going, instead, to hoop in a small town in North Carolina. And I was like "these are my people." I didn't even think about it, the statement just popped out of my mouth in the way that things that are just true often do in unguarded moments. The implication, of course, is that the gay community are not "my people." I've always had an ambivalent relationship with the gay community, as those who know me know. I've had a similar ambivalence to my Chinese heritage, and by extension, to the generalized Asian community (I still maintain there's no such thing as an "Asian community"). Though I am both Asian and Gay, I have never felt I belonged in either community, but that I was supposed to, because I am those things. Each factor is a complicating wrinkle in how I fit in the other community i.e., many people I've encountered in the "Asian community" are uncomfortable with my sexuality and my bohemian freakness (which is sometimes seen as a symptom of my gayness). And the gay community's relationship to race...*sigh*. Let's just say it's disappointing. But it's not just those superficial demographics that are the issue. I have found that entering into communities hoping to find connection and true friendship based on sexuality and ethnicity makes no sense at all. Straight white people don't congregate and pursue relationships based on their straightness or their whiteness, but somehow those of us who are a minority in some way have internalized the idea that we *should* be mingling with "our own kind." I think it's an insidious way that political correctness runs counter to its own interests. Those who know me also know that I am far from a p.c. kind of person (though as a gay man of color I'm *supposed* to be p.c.). The thing is, I do have gay friends and I do have Asian friends. But they're hoopers and spinners! They're not friends I made at a rally or support group or bar in the Castro. Actually I count as friends one gay male couple and one lesbian couple that are not hoopers and spinners, but until I started spinning and met some others, they were my only gay friends. I've had random Asian friends throughout my life, but again they were people I bonded with for other reasons, and they happened to also be Asian. (I should also note I'm referring to Asian-Americans. Asians from whatever Asian culture they come from -- why I think the concept of an "Asian community" is misguided -- there is no one single "Asian culture" -- congregate together and that makes sense, to ease their transition into American culture.) Oh where the fuck am I going with this? I guess that identity politics, I think, is another way that Mother Culture has devised to keep us separate. That keeps us from the Now. It's another way to keep us from being awake in the spiritual sense, and that is the most important sense. Certainly in terms of the fight for social justice and equality under the law they were necessary, but they have calcified into barriers and big neon signs pointing out differences, and turning minor differences into definitions of identity and self-hood. It's time to get over it. Because in the end, the thing that thing that "equal access" is being fought for is a prison. I don't want equal access to facilities in the prison, I'm more interested in tearing the prison down. TAKE THE RED PILL! I've also gotten into Kid Beyond recently. To quote from my favorite track: We got to love one another. Give our love so strong. Love your brother, man deeper when he treats you wrong. When you love without limits, unconditionally. When you love without fear, then you shall be free.

back to the journal

khanwong — Sat, 31 May 2008 18:30:04 GMT

I've hooped a bunch since the Hoop Path was in town in April, but I haven't really had a "practice." That is, all my sessions have been just playing, and folding some newer things into flow, which I guess does count as "practice." What I mean though, is I haven't spent much time learning new stuff for a while. So this morning I pulled out my flow journal and read through some past entries, reminding myself of stuff I wanted to work on that I just haven't. It was kind of trippy, realizing just how poor my memory is that I couldn't remember what I wrote down a few weeks ago! But that's why I write stuff down I guess. So I made a to-do list -- it's pretty much all stuff I can kind-of-sort-of do but not with any consistency or flow. Like maybe I get it 1-in-5. There's one thing on the list I actually got a few months ago but haven't done it in so long I can no longer do it! Anyway I started in on the list during my practice today and made some (small) progress. Then I went to the kitchen for a glass of water and we have fortune cookies lying around from Chinese take-out the other night and I had one and the fortune was "Allow yourself to enjoy what you've accomplished today." That's something I rarely allow myself to do but today I am. I've been so dazzled by watching hoopers I admire I lost track of what *I* have been trying to do. So this morning was about bringing that focus back. Now I have to go get ready for a wedding!

yeah it rocked

khanwong — Wed, 28 May 2008 21:00:11 GMT

Lightning in a Bottle was awesome. I camped with the SLO hoop group + their assorted friends & acquaintances and am so grateful to Rich & Lauren for inviting me along. Once I got there I ran into so many people I knew I felt an immediate connection, even though I didn't hang out all that much with those folks I bumped into. Not as much as I would've liked anyway. But it was enough to not feel like I was adrift in a sea of strangers, which is not a feeling I take to very well. Highlights: Cirque Berzerk. Holy shit are they good. That dance with the four demon-y characters in black & white? One of the best dance pieces I've seen in a long time, and I see a lot of dance. And the aerialists were fantastic -- what beautiful creatures they are! Kan'nal were just magnificent. I had a peak hooping experience during their set, going off amidst the oak trees. It was marvelous, transcendent even. The lectures/panels related to 2012, and shifts in human consicousness/civilization, etc., etc. Those were what made the whole festival more than just a party for me. I really appreciated the focus and intention around those topics. And most of all, I am really grateful for the opportunity to spend some time with some beautiful people I am lucky enough to count as friends. Some of them were newer friends, some of them from far away places and I appreciated the time to reaffirm those connections, brief as some of those times were. Community and the nurturing of our collective spirit is really what it's about. Even the rain didn't get me down the first night/day! I've been reading Eckhart Tolle and took it as an opportunity to accept the present and not go into "if only" mode. Plus it's the weather. What are you gonna do really? I do have to say one critical/negative thing though. This may be blasphemous to some people, but I just don't get Bassnectar. What the fuck is all the fuss about? I try and I try to get into it/him (Loren?) and I just don't. On top of that, the crowd at Bassnectar was the *only* time I encountered people I would consider...let's just say not friendly and not considerate of others. All this time I thought I was missing something but now I think not so much. I don't care how attractive, cool and hip you are superficially, if you act disrespectfully to people you're just a jackass. *edit* I realize I'm being judgmental there and I need to forgive them they're jackassness. {deep breath} But that little bit of negativity didn't last for long because I left and went and caught Cirque Berzerk & Zillah on another stage and that was much more my scene. Music I could actually groove to and people who were kind. Plus I ran into Rainbow Michael who was doing some sick shit with isolations and a single poi and a staff. Yeah that was nice. Oh all the hoop-y goodness! So many badass hoopers! (I really need to find another adjective besides badass). I have to admit I had twinges of feeling a bit outclassed at times. It wasn't so much "man I suck" so much as "man I want to practice more and better". So I can show all those bitches up. HA HA! That was a joke. Seriously though...it's not so much "I want to be as good as {insert badass hooper here}" so much as when possibilities open up while I'm watching another hooper, I know there's more I can do to become more myself in the hoop. Plus some of the stuff is just really cool and I want to be able to do it. But that's the seed that all spinners have inside them, isn't it? I wanna do that...what patterns can I make, how can I push this movement further and how far do I need to push before I warp spacetime? Oh but spacetime is warping beautiful people! Let it flow...

step through the portal...

khanwong — Sun, 11 May 2008 09:01:57 GMT

Had a marvelous day making videos. I started off shooting some footage in City Hall, when I was asked by the Sheriff's Deputies to stop hooping because people were arriving to set up for a prom. I was annoyed but it turned out to be lucky because I ended up going to Golden Gate Park and scouting out some really nice locations that I wouldn't have done otherwise. I ran into my friend Dan on the bus, who was once very active in the firespinning scene here but has been incognito for a while now. He suggested a spot and it worked out perfectly. Anyway, I made my Circles of Light entry which I'm psyched about and in addition to that, I made this little bit o' fun. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KiIhDCOr7No

further notes along the path

khanwong — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 22:05:16 GMT

This past weekend marked my third experience with the Hoop Path (the first being when Bax & Ann & Beth rolled into town about a year ago, the second being the Retreat last June). Each time I go through the program is another spiral up the mountain and I find myself finding new gems in the material, and new understandings of the hoop. Beyond that though, there has been a further fostering of community and I find that as rewarding as the actual hooping. On the hooping front I identified areas I want to Strengthen. In particular, I want to get my shoulder hooping to the point that I don't have to turn (or roll on angles) to keep it going. I also plan to work on second current angles and paddling. That's months and months of practice right there! For me anyway -- it takes me a long time to get stuff down. (Two years in and I *still* can't get it up from my legs, for example.) This time around the big brainwave for me was to shift my practice away from learning new tricks and re-dedicate myself to developing control in core hooping and increasing flow in what I already do. I still have tricks I want to get of course, but I think that focusing on control for now will assist in getting tricks later. All this is impetus for me to get back to drilling which had always been a cornerstone of my practice but something I've put off for the past several months, except for working on the horizontal btb elbow pass, which I finally got after six months of effort. On the community front, my heart is just so warmed by how beautiful & kind everyone in this community is. I was really happy that some of the San Luis Obispo crew came up for these workshops (and that they made it to the meet & greet) and was glad for the opportunity to meet some of the local hoopers that I didn't really know before. And it was really really great getting to spend some non-hooping time with Baxter & Ann and I was really happy too that Marty finally got to meet some of the wonderful people in my life that I know through hooping. Also, it turns out Baxter and I have the same birthday! In just a couple of months I'll be going back to Carrboro for another dose of Hoop Path goodness. I'm kind of hooked on this whole thing, in case you couldn't tell. Partly it's Baxter's teaching and how much I get out of it, but I'm as excited to see everyone in Carrboro (both the locals and the others travelling there) as I am to see what the next vista along this path turns out to be. ** a note on the artwork: "The Two Trees of Valinor in the fictional universe of J.R.R. Tolkien's Middle-earth are Telperion and Laurelin, the Silver Tree and the Gold Tree that brought light to the Land of the Valar in ancient times. They were destroyed by Melkor and Ungoliant the great spider, but the last flower of Telperion and the last fruit of Laurelin were made by the Valar into the Moon and the Sun."

time spirals, creativity flows, life is beautiful

khanwong — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 18:51:40 GMT

I can’t believe it’s April already. Looking over my calendar of the past months it seems strange to me that so much has happened. I can remember it all and yet it seems hardly possible that enough time has elapsed for all I remember to have happened. I joke sometimes about how time is spiralling in, tighter and tighter, toward the singularity. I joke about how my backyard under the oak tree is the portal to another dimension and it’s only a matter of time before it opens. But I’m not a hundred percent joking. Time really is spiralling in – don’t you feel it? That sense that time is moving faster and faster…I don’t think it’s an illusion (well linear time *is* an illusion, but that’s a whole subject unto itself) or a factor of getting older. I think our getting older is coinciding with this other thing that’s happening, a matter of correlation not causality. So we’re already into the second quarter of 2008 and my mind is full of ideas. So many projects I want to implement, but a lot of stuff has to be figured out first. The next few weeks will be spent planning and working shit out….then the work begins of really working shit out and hopefully creating some beautiful things…gee I wonder if I could vague it up some more. First up though are a couple of video projects, one for Circles of Light, and one just for the hell of it. I’m excited because my friend Chad – an amazing fiddle player who’s toured with David Grisman among others – is letting me use a track of his for my next CoL entry. I’m so psyched to be setting a hoop vid to fiddle! It’s been a while since I’ve done an “arty” spinning vid (i.e., one that’s not just a single static shot of me spinning something) and I’m really itching to spin in some nice locations, in costume, and really do it up nice. I’ll probably shoot some footage this weekend (hoping to shoot at Muir Woods) – any Bay Area spinners who want to take part and be in a video should p.m. me. I want to do a solo video but want to do a group one also. No fire though, daytime spinning. It’s weird though – my creative output has always been an important part of my life. Whatever was going on with me professionally was a separate category, but it’s always been by my creative projects that I gauge how “productive” I’m being and yet somehow all the videos I’ve made don’t count in my head as doing or making something. When I get down on myself for “not doing anything” I have to remind myself about my videos. That’s weird, huh? I’m such a neurotic freak sometimes. Anyway the past week (since that panel finished!) has been really wonderful. Beth was in town from Carrboro with her family, and I had dinner with them one night and then on Saturday we had a hoop in the park with Rich & Lauren – recent SF transplants from San Luis Obispo, and Sam, a hooper that was visiting from Tokyo. That was such a fun, low-key day and I figured out some new stuff thanks to feedback from those guys. I love making new flowster friends. And then the next day was the Sunset Party, and I ran into pretty much every local person on my tribe friends list! It seemed like it anyway. I’ve never been the social butterfly sort so it was a little weird to be constantly running into people I knew at this party. I love house and I dug the music okay but wasn’t particularly inspired by it. I was inspired by my friends though, and by hooping, and by the whole vibe. So much so that I wrote a poem, my first in about 4 years: SUNSET SEASON at the edge of the lake where the giant ape dwells we dance in rings of colored light our beloved beats fill the trees and sky -- shake the earth with our feet! who can know such madness and joy but the mad & joyful of our kind stomping love & gratitude into mud into grass into sand into dust from green glades to cavernous domes shine the mandalas of our tribe

practice, practice and practice some more...

khanwong — Fri, 07 Mar 2008 20:45:04 GMT

So today I decided to check my Rob Brezny horoscope: "Capricorn (December 22-January 19) San Francisco Chronicle columnist Jon Carroll says he's periodically asked about what it takes to be a writer. He has two pieces of advice: "Good writers read a lot, and good writers write a lot." I urge you to apply that approach to whatever skill it is you'd like to master, whether it's building a boat, traveling where the tourists don't go, satisfying a lover, or anything else. In other words, practice, practice, and practice some more as you study the work of those who are experts in the field. Now is an especially ripe time for you to identify what this skill is for you, and to sign a formal agreement with yourself in which you promise to steadily upgrade your mastery of it. " It's funny and synchronistic that this is what I got because this is exactly what has been on my mind lately. I have brought some focus and discipline back to my hoop practice as a result of performing and teaching it with the circus, and preparing my Spinagogue workshops. I have been watching videos and thinking about all the different kinds of workshops and classes I've taken over the years (not just hoop or flow related) and what made those teachers effective or not. Hooping has definitely emerged as the skill for me at this time and I have, in fact, promised myself to "steadily upgrade (my) mastery of it". Not only as a hooper but also as a teacher of hoop and flow (the formal practice of which is coming, more on this at a later date). It's also funny in that this horoscope takes as its jumping-off point the question of what it takes to be a writer because for a long, long time (since I was a teenager until about four years ago) being a writer was my most cherished ambition. And I certainly did write and read all the time. But where I'm at in my life right now, reading and writing pales in comparison to living and dancing. I'm really looking forward to April because I'll be able to more fully devote myself to all this stuff then. I'm serving on a funding panel for the City of Oakland and have a bunch of grant applications and site visits to perform before the panel dates at the end of March (on top of the ones I'm doing for my job). Since it's not part of my regular job, I have to do all the reading and analysis on my own time and it's seriously cutting into the time I have to hoop and develop the plans for the teaching practice I'm planning to launch later this year. It's a little frustrating because all these ideas have come up and there's this energy behind it but I have this other committment I need to see through first. ANYWAY... This morning in my in-box I received an email communication from my friend Zamir, whom I first met during a poi retreat in Vancouver, and who was on the circus tour. He included a Mary Oliver poem, and the last stanza of it really struck a chord with me and is somehow related to identifying what it is I (you) want to practice and going for it: Whoever you are, no matter how lonely, the world offers itself to your imagination, calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting -- over and over announcing your place in the family of things.

back in the office (that was just a dream, just a dream, just a dream...)

khanwong — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 18:38:13 GMT

Back in the office today after a month away. It was the oddest thing, walking to the bus stop, getting on the #7 Haight Street bus, taking my usual route up Van Ness, walking into City Hall and then sitting down at my desk here and logging into the network, checking my voicemails, emails, etc. I just stepped right back into my routine like I was never gone...the past month feels like a dream and yet I have these pictures (here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/83416590@N00/) and a whole bunch of new pants and the memory of hugs and a lot of laughter. I was kind of lame on the picture front, but the workshops and shows were so well-documented by others I didn't see the point, and I never had my camera on me at those opportune moments anyway. I'll post links to other pics as they become available, there's way more with the kids and those are the really sweet ones that really show what the whole thing was about. I've been awake since 3 o'clock yesterday afternoon and I'm not sure what I'm running on now. I'm looking at the to-do list I made before I left and my calendar is getting full. It's all very strange. Can't wait to see my Bay Area peeps! Drop me a line or give me a ring, I miss you.