The courage to trust oneself. Oh how much courage it takes to trust oneself, especially when you have spent the greater part of your life avoiding responsibility for your life and your decisions. Oh how much easier it can be to remain quiet, rather than buck the fray. Oh how much simpler situations go when one abdicates one's power for the opinions of others, however well-intentioned they may be. There is some "expert" for virtually every area of one's life. This world is full of information and it's coming fast...all day every day. Sometimes we just need a time out. A time to simply tune in to the real expert within. Who's been waiting all along for you to just ask.

It's amazing how one's words can mask the genuine intent. That's the power of communication and words. They can be used to clarify and conceal meaning. Imagine trying to get the point across to one's lover that you were in fact "right" about a previous issue. It's not so much about being right by making the other person wrong. It's more about seeking your lover's approval and acknowledgment. Oh how nice it would be to hear, "yeah, you were right!" in an enthusiastic tone. Your main underlying motivation is to celebrate a small victory---an acknowledgement that your inner guidance system was correct. It's nice to receive confirmation about one's intuitions and one's knowledge. Particularly, if you had a tendency of not listening to that voice and not trusting it---often with disastrous results. Somehow, the words don't come out right and the conversation turns into a verbal match of who's right and who's wrong. Then you decide that maybe a break is needed by both parties.

Nevertheless, it's good to come home to oneself. The joy that wells in your heart upon sliding into this fleshbot called you and truly inhabiting it....deeply. My heart is opening like a bud in spring. Oh and it feels so nice to love myself and give myself the approval I had been seeking from another. This sensation is overflowing at times; perfuming my awareness with the most sublime fragrances.

My eyes welled with tears....initially out of pain, shock, fear and anxiety...but now my eyes water with the simple recognition that I am home. I know it is cliche but home is truly where the heart is. What once was a massive chasm has now become a mere hairline fracture. That disconnect between my heart and head (And trust me guys. The head is good!) has begun to mend. *Deep inhale*.....ahhh....that feels good....breathing all the way from the top of the head down to the toes.

I now offer gratitude to the Creator, my Se, my ancestors, voudun, orixas and spirit guides as a brand new world opens before me. A voice inside shouts triumphantly, "I may not be where I thought I would be, but goddammit at least I ain't where I used to be!". That recognition alone, is reason to celebrate. I encourage everyone to take the time everyday to send love and approval to themselves and celebrate the small victories.

One,

Mo