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Khrysso Heart

offline 299 friends
joined on 04/09/05
last updated 07/14/08
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Friends

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These Things I Believe

MOTTOES, MAXIMS, PRINCIPLES, AND GUIDELINES

"Lead, follow, or get out of the way."

"If a phenomenon is real in its perception, it will be real in its consequences."

"Friends don’t let friends vote Republican."

"Failure to plan on your part does not necessitate an automatic emergency on my part."

"Occam’s Razor": All other things being equal, the simplest explanation is to be preferred.

(surely a corollary to the preceding) "Do not attribute to malice what can just as easily be explained by incompetence."

"Them wot does the work makes the rules." (aka "The Iron Rule of Oligarchy")

"If they don’t want it, they can’t have any!"

"Philology leads to calamity."

"Nature does not care that you are comfortable, only that you evolve." --Harville Hendrix

"People won't care how much you know if they don't know how much you care."


PERSONAL TRUTHS:

For the most part, people are basically stupid.

If you didn’t vote, don’t complain to me about your elected officials.

There are always options you haven’t considered.

I am frequently cooperative--not to be confused with compliant.

You can't apologize for my shortcomings. But I suggest you find a less bitter way to criticize me. And that you not expect your criticism to be news to me, since my "shortcomings" are just unproductive manifestations of my strengths, of which I am well aware.

The fact that I don’t complain about your intemperance doesn’t mean I approve of it. Corollary: Sobriety is underrated.

Criticism is not condemnation, and condemnation is not criticism.

There are two ways of shaking an addiction or bad habit: find something else to meet the need the addiction meets, or find a way to get rid of the need. (I was saying this for years before Dr. Phil came along.)

No matter what they say, what people do is pretty much what they really wanted to do.

We’re all doing the best we can at any given time.

Feelings are important, but they are only feelings; they are not catastrophes.

My existence is its own justification.

Anyone can pay retail! What's impressive about that?

What I WANT and what I ASK FOR are two entirely different things, and should not be confused.

People become conservative with age because age teaches us about what is worth conserving.

All I know is what I know, and sometimes not even that. Meanwhile...

The world would be a better place if more people got it that I usually know what the hell I’m talking about.

Everything I do is entirely about me, and nothing anybody else does is even remotely about me. We are all working it out for ourselves--our choices just happen to impact each other.

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It's Khrysso!

Gender
Male
Age
48
Location
about me
Preface: It's important that I warn you that BEING MY TRIBE FRIEND MEANS *LOTS* OF BLOGS COMING YOUR WAY. It's not unusual for me to enter four blogs a day.

I've decided that the best way to describe myself is as a "very silly curmudgeon." And lately, I'm a lover, which generally, though not always (just ask Justin!) brings out more silliness than curmudgeonliness from me.

I've long suspected that I'm <<Un Bodhisattva Malgré Lui>>, as well. It was all a big mistake, I'm sure, and will be corrected in the next life.

Most of the people who know me best find me also to be kind, wise, artistic, articulate, organized, poor but generous, impish, candid, comfortable in my own skin, patient, polite, stubborn, clever, opinionated, gentle, melodic, tough, tender, idealistic, forthright, diplomatic, decisive, incisive, insightful, spiritual, open-minded, creative, and in excellent command of what the hell I'm talking about. I am actually all of these things, and full of shit all at the same time. And I'm getting to be completely okay with that.

That's all. Invite me to your circle of friends, and if I accept, you can read my blog and find out more than you could have ever dared hope to know...
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It Seems to Me

I found out yesterday that my parents are moving permanently out of the house I grew up in. Big rite of passage on the horizon for me!

They've been wintering with my brother's family in SC, and the winters have become longer and longer. Now that Mom is using a walker, the doc has given orders that they are not allowed to live unsupervised, so they are moving to SC permanently, which they had long talked of doing.

So none of this is a surprise, but all the same, it's big for me--I think ... read more
Thu, July 24, 2008 - 8:33 PM permalink - 4 comments
 
On Plurk (and its technological template, Twitter), the whole thing is built around what should be little status updates but turn into some really pretty sophisticated discussions.

Because of the status-update format, everything is designed to facilitate announcing little bits of news, and announcements, of course, are customarily made in the third person.

So Khrysso plays along, and tries to stick the third person as much as he can (within the boundaries of 140 characters, an instituti... read more
Fri, July 11, 2008 - 3:22 PM permalink - 4 comments
 
From Awen and Diane, with variations found elsewhere:

Parameters: 1) You can only type ONE Word. Just ONE! 2) You can only use each word one time. 3) Copy my questionnaire, change my answers to yours, and post it in your own blog with these instructions.

1. Where is your cell phone?
Inapplicabale.

2. Where is your significant other?
Bed.

3. Your hair?
Unkempt.

4. Your mother?
Sleeping.

5. Your father?
Computing.

6. Your favorite thing?
Connecting.

7. Y... read more
Mon, July 7, 2008 - 11:47 PM permalink - 1 comment
 
 
Well, now *that's* pretty interesting!

My friend HA! (also known to a few as Tim) passed over to another realm quite some time ago.

I just ran across his Tribe profile... and the orange dot was lit up! It says he's online!

WOW! He's got a helluva connection from wherever he is!

Actually, it doesn't matter when he died: he's dead! And he's online! WOW!

Being outside the space-time continuum definitely accrues to technological advantages...

Hmm--have I seen everything yet?
Sat, July 5, 2008 - 7:17 PM permalink - 1 comment
 
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Also Sprach Khrysso

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Horntootin'

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My LiveJournal Feed

[info]jayceeloop is considering the relative merits of seeing if being downsized is on his horizon vs. simply pre-emptively quitting to embark on life as a not-otherwise-primarily-employed musician.



I cut my strings with full-time employment in favor of a music career in August of 1992--three weeks shy of 16 years ago.



It was an absolutely reckless, senseless, disastrous move to make, and I don't regret it at all. Not even a little bit.



I have *always* wanted to be self-employed.



Even though I make next to no money (e.g., way less than $100/mo. so far this year), the only arena in which I present myself as "unemployed" is with financial institutions and other bureaus that have no frame of reference for understanding lives of barter and mutual support.



Otherwise, for nearly all of these 16 years I have considered myself to be self-employed, not un-employed. UnDERemployed, yeah, most of the time, but even that makes sense in its context of my mental and spiritual and emotional health and the external forces that have shaped me. I don't consider myself to be the euphemistic "between jobs;" I am on the path I belong on.



There is a tyranny, no question, involved in being on the brink of destitution all the time. But I long ago judged that tyranny to be less objectionable than the tyranny of wage-slavery.



I would much rather be miserable being deliriously happy in my Bohemian, wonder-filled, explorative, serendipitous life as an artist (and I am not infrequently miserable about it) than be miserable putting in days and weeks and months and years of my life on somebody else's time-clock.



I believe, firmly, that money is a sacrament, by which I mean that it is a physical representation of a metaphysical reality. It's not so much, I think, that time is money as that money is time.



As a grammarian I know that there is no literal difference between those two clauses--subjects and predicate nominatives are interchangeable--but in this case, money is the physical representation and time is the metaphysical reality.



As I pithily put it in a poem a few years ago, "You pay for your life, or you pay with your life."



Wasting most of an hour at The Exclusive Warehouse Outlet of the Evil Empire, aka Sam's Club, last night, I was forced to reaffirm that truth. The one thing we went there needing and intending to buy was not in stock.



Saving money and time is, I submit, rarely really possible. Sooner or later, one or the other's gotta go.



I'd rather do without the money and have my entire clock be my own.



That means that, unfortunately, I am always on my clock.



Fortunately, my work is also my play. Is also my work. Is also my play...



I intend never again to have a job. I intend always to have my work.



It depends on what you value: I've chosen time and self-actualization. I may lose it "all on one turn of pitch-and-toss"--I have a shitload of medical challenges that include cardiovascular disease, by which I fully expect to be ushered to the Other Side on very short notice, and I may be felled by a blood-clot long before I ever get the chance to make dents in the music or publishing or art worlds, along with hope of residuals in my old age.



But for now I'm in good shape: I've successfully rehabilitated my heart and I'm on a good program at a charitable clinic. So I have a reasonable hope of self-actualizing because I have a reasonable hope of the time in which to do it.



I do without a *lot* of toys. But I have learned to be poor. As Westley said to Humperdinck, "We know the secrets of the fire-swamp. We can live there happily for some time."



If one is willing to undertake the discipline of doing without and taking on great uncertainty in exchange for a dream, cutting the strings with financial security and taking the plunge is, I declare, very, very much worth it.
Fri, July 11, 2008 - 1:10 PM permalink

Your result for The Attachment Style Test...

The Cuddleslut



You're mostly secure, but sometimes you need a little extra reassurance to make it through the tough times. You are usually affectionate and sweet, and you find it easy to fall in love. An encouraging word from a crush or a loved one can motivate you for weeks.





Fictional character with whom you might identify: Kaylee (Firefly/Serenity), Hiro Nakamura (Heroes)





KayleeFrye.jpg HiroNakamura.jpg







Other Attachment Types:
Secure: The Unicorn | The Cuddleslut | The Free Agent
Preoccupied: The Cling Wrap | The Squid | The Insect
Fearful: The Doormat | The Leper | The Exile
Dismissing: The Hermit | The Stone | The Player
Confused: The Waffler

Take The Attachment Style Test at HelloQuizzy

Thu, July 10, 2008 - 12:51 PM permalink
In answer to [info]kc_risenphoenix's question, my position on marriage has long been that as a legal institution, marriage should be available to all adults who wish to be legally related to one another in a peer relationship.



It's not about "gay" or "str8" or anything having to do with sexual/affectional/erotic orientation or preference. It's not about gender. It's not about love. That's why I prefer not to say "gay marriage," but rather "same-sex marriage."



I in fact knew a heterosexual woman who had once been "married" to a Lesbian. She was perfectly comfortable referring to her having once had a "wife," even though she told me that by the time the wedding night was over, she knew that she was most definitely not herself a Lesbian. But that relationship lasted 10 years nonetheless.



I staunchly believe that they should have as much right to marry legally as my bf Justin and I have to marry legally in Canada, where he is a citizen. Love--the nature and quality of love--has nothing to do with it.



To me, it's about civil rights, period. Even though I'm old enough to be Justin's father, I most certainly have no interest in adopting him, even if one could adopt a 28-year-old. I am his lover, not his daddy. And while he is endearingly childlike, I don't want him as a child--I want him as a husband.



Marriage should, I believe, justly be a tool. It's a medieval institution, and there's nothing wrong with it serving the same legal role it served in medieval times--sans the wife-as-chattel thing, of course. My point is that it was about legal partners and heirs.



As far as legal heritage goes, I see nothing wrong with having more than one legal partner, any more than I see anything wrong with having more than one legal child. So yes, of course, polyamory should be legal, too. Since so much of heritage is slugged out in probate court, anyway, just drop the pretenses and make marriage a business relationship and have done with it.



And let all those who don't want the fiscal protection of a legal marital relationship face the fate they have chosen. Which means, let prenups be marriage contracts, and let those who don't desire prenups forego legal marriage if they wish.



And don't punish the offspring! (The Hebrew Bible [Deut. 23:2] says bastard children are accursed to the 10th generation! The 10th! But this isn't my theology blog.)



Let the churches do what the churches will do. Let the civil arena give civil rights, as is right and just.



That about sums it up.
Wed, July 9, 2008 - 10:45 PM permalink
I still find it difficult and painful, sometimes, to read my old journals from the year or two before I came out. Some of my issues still don't feel even close to being resolved, even though I know I've come a long way--and the sometimes-difficult-and painful practice of reading old journals reaffirms that: I deal with the same issues, but on a *much* different plane of experience.



Looking back, understanding that coming out was the most important work of magick (i.e., focusing the will in order to change consciousness) I've ever performed, I find it kind of amusing, looking back to my entry for July 8, 1988, which was so not-profound that I might skip over it if I were compiling The Essential Khrysso from my diaries and journals and letters and blogs and didn't remember this anniversary date.



Excerpts:



"How odd, that two incongruities like God and homosexuality would be so alike in being with me all my life, tracking me down, hounding me until I conceded to them. Conversion... is like coming out.... [Both consist in just acknowledging] what has been true all along.



"Boy, what a profound statement. Without my struggles I wouldn't have my revelations.



"Upon reading [Congressman Robert Bauman's autobiography] The Gentleman from Maryland, I have to admit that



"I am a homosexual.



"It took me a while to get those four words written down.



"This is