Stuff I say

Back....

KitaZira — Tue, 06 May 2008 16:57:54 GMT

So I know I fell off the edge of the earth for a little while there. I was stressing, and I tend to crawl into my little shell when I do that. But you know what? The sun is shining, it's a beautiful day (week, really), and I don't care enough about all the drama right now to stress over it. I swear, for once, I am really just content. Of course if anyone knows how to get my cat to stop stepping on my keyboard while I'm trying to type, please please please! let me know how!!!!!!!!

Stole it from BFG cuz I'm kinda bored....

KitaZira — Thu, 03 Jan 2008 19:12:55 GMT

1. Who was the last person of the opposite sex you laid in a bed with? And enjoyed ? Um...pass :) 2. Where was the last place you went out to eat? Oi, I think it was Cafe Med, the Kyoto, or Red Rocks. The last week has been such a blur I can't tell which order the days were in!!! 3. What was the last alcoholic beverage you consumed? Lol, hahaha! 4. Which do you prefer - eyes or lips? Eyes. 5. Medicine, fine arts, or law? Fine arts. The other two bore me too much. 6. Best kind of pizza? Depends. Normally tomatoes and red bell peppers. 7. Is your bedroom window open? Ummm, actually, yes. Only partially though. I should close it. It's only twenty degrees out. 8. What is in store for your future? Hopefully breathing. 9. Who was the last band you saw live? Okay, I have no idea what the name was. It was kinda a random thing.... 10. Do you take care of your friends while they are sick? Not specifically when they're sick. I have a habit of spoiling my friends though. When I see something they'd like and it's obvious, and I can afford it, I'll get it for them, for no particular reason. Stuff like that. 11. What is your favorite soda? Quit drinking soda. 12. How many songs are on your iTunes? Ummm, it says I have three weeks worth. 13. When was the last time you purchased something over $500? Fairly recently, though I'm not going into details about it. 14. Where is the last place you drove to? Nowhere. 15. Are you experienced? At??? 16. Any historical figures that you envy? Not really envy. Personally, I think we're pretty damn lucky to live in this day and age, and have food, fairly good medical help if we need it, and warm houses. 17. What brand of digital camera do you own? I think it's a Panasonic, but I don't remember. 18. When was the last time you got a good workout? Just got finished. 19. If you need a new pair of jeans, what store do you go to first? It depends what kind of jeans I want. 20. Where did your last kiss take place? Nope. 21. What were you doing at 11:59 PM on Monday night? Went out with friends to dinner, then to a movie. 22. Are you a quitter? Nope. Sometimes I wish I wasn't so stubborn. It means I keep the bad habits too. 23. Who was the last person you had in your house ? Mandi. 24. Can you speak another language? I know lots of small tidbits of lots of different languages, but that's about it. 25. How about you put your legs behind your head? I can't. 26. When was the last time you went dancing while under the influence? LOL... 27. Nickname? I have lots of them. It's like I collect them. 28. Describe what you are wearing in detail? Light grey tee with purple foil (GO PURPLE!!!), with a black and purple bandana, and black yoga/dance pants. 29. What do you think about people who party a lot? They're fun to party with, but generally they don't know when to stop. 30. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? Not particularily. 31. Are you one of those people who obsesses over Hollister? No... 32. What was the last CD you purchased? It was a compilation for my friend. 33. What are two bands or singers that you will always love? It depends on my mood. 34. What of the seven deadly sins are you guilty of? Probably all of them. 35. Did you just have to google the seven deadly sins to see what they were? Nope :) 36. Where is your favorite place to get coffee? I don't drink it. Caffiene gives me migraines, and I prefer tea. 37. Have you ever been offered a job? Yes 38. Have you ever stolen anything off of a road? Not as far as I'm aware. 39. When was the last time you dyed your hair? Last week. I updated the purple. I will have to do the red and blue as soon as my dye gets here. 40. Who was the last person you rode in a car with? Peoples 41. Have you kissed somebody in the last 2 weeks? No. 42. Miss someone? More than a few at the moment. Feeling kind of nostalgic. 43. How is your last ex doing? ERrrrr 44. Is there someone you want to fight? Not really. Feeling calm.

I don't mean to come off as a holiday hater, buuuuuut,

KitaZira — Thu, 03 Jan 2008 05:57:58 GMT

I AM SO GLAD THE HOLIDAYS ARE OVER!!! I don't want to sound like I'm cynical and all that, but seriously!!! It seems everyone gets so frustrated and so annoyed by them, and the negativity is just everywhere!! Puts me down for the entire two weeks surrounding them. However, in two weeks I am outta here! I am on a trip to New Orleans. I can't wait. Just to get out of this inversion for a little while will be nice. No- I have no idea what I'm doing there. I never do when I go on vacation. For me, it's more of, let's just go explore and see whatever comes up. Would like to make a note- sorry for being so hard to get ahold of lately. I've been feeling the blues, and have just managed to start feeling up again.

So, ummm, I'm a monkey....

KitaZira — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 21:18:25 GMT

Seriously. For one of the Halloween shows that I performed at, I got to be a monkey. Someone asked for pictures. Better yet, heere's a video!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kVkfyBnyk8o BTW, that is not our normal dancing... just a Halloween thing...

Snow is everywhere...

KitaZira — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 20:31:35 GMT

What the hell? Seriously, it feels like last month is when Summer started. November hasn't even started yet in my mind. This year disappeared so quickly because it was so dramatic. I've had fast years before, but 2006 was nice and easy going and slow. It was a breezee and an easy year. Then, this year comes along and it's all dramatic. The ups are really high, and the lows kinda just dragged me through the mud. And now, it's almost over? At least I don't feel like I was cheated out of living, this year. Ya know, where some years you just feel like "well gee, I don't feel I did anything whole heartedly". That was not this year. I can't believe it's almost over. This weekend I get to go shopping for people I hardly know because they only come to town once or twice a year, and I get to battle all those annoying too much perfume wearing, overly made up, fakes that seem only to live during this time of year, and I get to take a few weeks rest, which won't really be restful because I'll be getting all the "So, what are you doing for the rest of your life?" and "Why don't you take out that thing in your nose?" and "What's wrong with blonde?" questions from family. Sigh. BTW, for any blondes reading, I don't have anything wrong with that hair color, it'd just look very bad on me. And living here, people seem to think it's a crime not to be. And in less than a month it'll all be over, and we'll go on our merry ways, until it's this time next year. It's funny. I thought this year would be just the one dramatic year after awhile. I was thinking in 2008 it would be slow or something. Nope. Already it's getting out of hand. People asking me to take care of stuff that's two months away. That's just the begginning. Oh well. What can you do, right? And a note, if I end up breakingg some commitments to get something done by a specific date, I'm really sorry. i get flighty this time of year (okay that's bs, I'm flighty in general... not flakey, just flighty... there is a difference), and my internet is up and down erratically. I'm not sure why. I'm working on it all! I swear!!!!!

My goodness... do you people sleep???

KitaZira — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 03:42:10 GMT

I haven't been on tribe for about a week or so, because I sprained my ankle, and have been really sick. What really sucks? It was just me being clumsy when I sprained my ankle. I was just walking, and there was NOTHING on the floor to blame it on. I just tripped, and my ankle was sprained. Lol. Rather anti-climatic, isn't it? So, um anyways, that's just an explanation, since already I've ggotten five emails asking me what's up and why I haven't been on, and doing all the stuff I usually do. That's why. Now, I'm just off to bed. I'm exhausted. Have a good day/night/whatever!

Sick... And a note to YouTube fans and Gothla DVD wishers

KitaZira — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 01:24:31 GMT

So here I am, finally feeling happy, and finally able to sleep after four days without, and what happens??? I get sick!!!! Urgh!!! It's a conspiracy against me, I swear! Just a note to everyone who knows my YouTube story (hehe, all the vids I've got up). If you ever want a DVD copy of ANYTHING at all let me know! Or if you are ever doing a show in northern Utah or SLC, or even some down in Southern Utah, let me know and I will do my best to put it up for you. If there is someone else you would like filmed, let me know, and provided I get their permission, I will post it. This is what I do for fun, seriously. There is nothing better for me than to tinker around with a video camera and mixing my other great passion of dancing works really well, so honestly, I will do this stuff for ya. And no, I don't charge. Not if you performed, or if you are a performer, because I feel it's your work, you should be able to get a copy of it. And sometimes, I don't even charge others. The only times I will charge is sometimes I will need to for shipping and the costs of double layer DVDs. And for those who are hoping for a DVD copy of the GOthla, I am still planning on making those, but the project is large enough that I had to double layer media, which my normal place doesn't carry, so I ordered them on the web, and am still waiting patiently for them. Please bear with me as they come in, okay? I couldn't afford special shipping, so I have no clue how much longer we shall be forced to wait, but as soon as I gget them, you are all getting a copy. And possibly a special present for taking so long. 8) Also, if you would like to see these vids, they are at www.youtube.com/jeseenya . If there is a specific one you would like a copy of, let me know, and I will get you the link. There are 60 some odd videos up and I seem to the be the only one who can remember the entire order. Thanks! Thanks for all the understanding, and I hope you all have a wonderful day. Most of you, I will see you soon!

Errgh!!!

KitaZira — Wed, 07 Nov 2007 07:38:09 GMT

Ya know what just kills me??? When you go to the trouble of making yourself a full nice dinner (which no, I don't do often. Between four dance classes a week, and the other 3 days filled with random going ons), and the frickin' cat runs right in front of you as you're carrying, and it all goes tumbling to the ground!!!! I love my cat, but oh- I think I was about ready to kill her!!! *sniffle* Whatever shall I do now??? Starve to death on the side of the street?? Or I could just eat junk food like I normally have to. Damnit!!! One of these days, I'm going to make sure I'm bored again, so that I can try this again, but next time, I'm going to be VERY careful about where I place my feet!!

Told ya I was bored....

KitaZira — Wed, 07 Nov 2007 06:18:11 GMT

See, now if you'd come up with a way to entertain me, this wouldn't be a problem, now would it??? RULES: Use the 1st letter of your name to answer each of the following...they have to be real places, names, things...nothing made up!! Try to use different answers if the person in front of you had the same 1st initial. You CAN'T use your name for the boy/girl name question. (pass it on) What is your name? Jes 4 letter word: Just Vehicle: Jeep TV Show: Man, I had to go look in TV guide and I only got Judge Judy City: Jakarta Boy Name: Jonathen Girl Name: Julie Alcoholic Drink: Jack Daniels or Jager or.... um, never mind. Can't think of any others. Occupation: judge Something you wear: Joggers Celebrity: Johnny Depp Food: Jalapeno Something found in a bathroom: Umm, Jasmin soap? Reason for being late: Job Animal: Jaguar

Giggles and headaches.

KitaZira — Fri, 02 Nov 2007 04:21:20 GMT

God it sucks!!! I am in such a giggly happy mood, and yet I have a headache. Today has been a pretty good day (last night and yesterday, not so great... in fact.... pretty damn bad), but a headache came on at about 4 and has not gone away!!! It sucks, because if it develops into a migraine, I'm able to take migraine meds, but it's generally the idea that you should not take them for just a headache. I know why, though. For the last week, I've been really bad about my posture. And whenever I let my posture down, I always get headaches, and not migraines. That'll teach me, eh? Oh- and I killed my iPod. Damnit!!! Now I getto go spend the money for a new one. YAY..... or not......

MRIs suck!!!

KitaZira — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 04:36:09 GMT

I really hate getting them. Basically you just sit there very still, until they poke a needle in ya. Bleh-, and my knees generally get so sore from 'em too!!! Of course, I don't have to take contrast dye, nor am I claustrophobic. I'm glad for that. I think it would just be horrible for those who get to.What gets me panicking is that they require I take all my jewelry off. Fine, i can take out earrings, but I always panic that my nose piercing will close back up if I leave it out too long, and I ahve no clue how long too long is!!! Just soes ya know, don't worry. I only get MRIs to check up on migraines. Apparently my brain looks different from most peoples in the section where migraines come from (I know why though!!! And no, it does not have anything to do with my mum drop kicking me down the stairs when I was a baby (and yes, she really did that)).

I don't know what got into me!!!

KitaZira — Sun, 28 Oct 2007 22:12:27 GMT

But I am feeling much better today!!! All is well (and if it's not, quite frankly, its not THAT bad.). Thanks to Corrie for the wonderful Gothla last night. It was tons of fun and just what I needed to bring me out of my depression. Thanks to everyone really. You're all good friends. 8)

I wish... I really really wish....

KitaZira — Fri, 26 Oct 2007 19:42:03 GMT

That I had the ability and patience to sew!!!! I mean, today, I spent all day trying to fix a damn costume, and well, didn't get too far without knowing how to use needle and thread. I would, if only I had the patience to do it. I get so fed up with myself, and I get really pissed off (poking myself over and over, just not my idea of fun, personally), and have the tendency to break the needle. Sigh. Of course, that's my specialty. Just making things up as I go, right???

Purple hair....

KitaZira — Wed, 24 Oct 2007 15:57:07 GMT

You see, this is the problem with having purple and bright red streaks in your hair. You get to sit here and dye them, which mind you, takes forever, and is not easy. And you look really weird because your hair is wet, and really stiff from the color. Not to mention how creepy it looks in the shower when you wash itt out because suddenly, you have red running down your shoulders. It's like my own little psycho moment. 8) I always do this though. I always swear that this will be the last time I ever dye my hair a crazy color, and it never is. Sigh. At least I'm not going to be forgotten with a head like mine. 8)

Whew....

KitaZira — Tue, 23 Oct 2007 20:27:21 GMT

I swear Summer started 3 weeks ago. I mean, seriously, where has the year gone??? It seems as if I'm waking up to suddenly find it cold and realizing that it's no longer all sunny and warm out. Le sigh. Whatever happened? Good news is that if time keeps going this fast, next Summer won't be that far away. Honestly, I think fall is beautiful, and I love the rain, and I love it except for the fact that I am allergic to all the molds on the ground that develope when the leaves fall. My head is really foggy now. However, in the Spring/summer my head is clear, and my nose feels fine. So anyways, no, I don't know what this blog is really about. Like I said, my head is foggy and my brain is kinda just rolling on a track of it's own.

Ummmm... yeah....

KitaZira — Sat, 20 Oct 2007 20:22:29 GMT

I look like a freak!!! Seriously!!! Lol, it's supposed to be that way though. We're off to do a Halloween show, and whadya know, I get to be a monkey. So, I am now a music box monkeyk, with the little red hat and everything! I just can't stop laughing at myself!!

Soooooo....

KitaZira — Fri, 19 Oct 2007 18:21:03 GMT

It's been touch and go lately with all these tribe withdrawals!!! Whatever shall I do??? Hopefully it lasts a little bit longer!

Well, it's a bit late now soooo....

KitaZira — Sat, 06 Oct 2007 05:33:31 GMT

I'll say that TOMORROW is going to be a good day, since it's almost tomorrow anyways. I feel better now. Maybe it was the fact that I found $100 in my pocket today (freaking awesome surprise!!! lol) or perhaps the fact that an old friend called me, and is moving back here (and I miss her to death!!). Either way, I have a good feeling about tomorrow (even if it's raining). I just hope no one brigs me down.

It's too bad...

KitaZira — Tue, 02 Oct 2007 23:32:10 GMT

So many times it seems groups of friends just fall apart. And what's worse? It's always the groups who no one ever thought would end up like that. And it keeps on happening. For dumb reasons, too. And whenever it happens, all anyone can seemingly do is say "It's too bad.", because really, what else are they supposed to do? Hold a gun to someone elses head and force them to be friends? I've just been thinking. The past few months, old stuff keeps resurfacing, and it's strange. It's brought me back to the people who I knew once upon a time when I was just a leedle one. Thinking back I always wonder what happened, but then, I think I know. It's just weird, how suddenly all these people are now coming back into my life. I'm not complaining. I'm never the one who had the major problems (Thank god), but I just have to laugh at the irony. I just wonder sometimes, how did it get so bad in the first place that I'm surprised with these people today? I mean, yeah, sometimes it's a fight, sometimes it's a little case of moving across the globe, and other times, it's simply drifting apart, but how does it get to the point where you never say "I'm sorry."? I've been in tha situation, but I still don't get it. Sorry if this blog is weird. I'm just seriously considering all that's happened in this past summer. I swear, things have changed so much in ways I never thought they would.

Train wreck in progress!

KitaZira — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 07:53:13 GMT

Wow, am I exhausted. My internet has been out for the past few days, and now I have tons to take care of. Add in the fact that I should be asleep since tomorrow I'm off to Moab. Not to mention I am feeling out of it. Bleh- what's a girl to do?? I sometimes get like this. I try to take care of everything at once, things that don't need to be taken care of immediatly. Things that CAN go one at a time. I think I need a vacation (haha, yeah, like that's going to happen very soon. 8P), one that's actually therapeutic. Not for performances, not to turn into a drama fest, not to go out of my way for anyone or anything, just to sleep and have someone else clean my room, really. Mkay, so I'm done talking. I just needed to get away from the craziness for a few moments.

When it rains...

KitaZira — Mon, 24 Sep 2007 06:39:08 GMT

All day, it's been off and on raining. A pretty normal late September day. I mean, it's colder than I like when it rains, but I think the rain and the clouds are beautiful. I just love them. What is so weird, is the way my mind has consantly gone today. All day, I've been focusing on this one time when I was about 7 and living with my mum in Australia, and I decided to run away (hello, look at the way it was). I didn't get very far, but I got far enough that I think emotionally and mentally, I was able to get away for awhile. I came to this humongous green grassy field (mown, though, else I wouldn't have gone in. Snakes live in the long grass in Aus), with trees surrounding it. It was beautiful. I went in, and sat down, just sitting there, and it began to lightly rain. And it was so nice. The clouds above me, just looked like these huge grey stones carved into magnificent, if slightly strange, pieces of art, and the contrast between the green of the leaves and grass and the grey of the sky was so nice. I could've stayed there forever. And I don't know why I've been thinking about that all day. I mean, it's rained before and I've not thought of that. So why today?? I wonder if I'm simply just being weird, or what, but it was still nice to think about it. Maybe sometimes we all just need to run away to our own little places???

Craziness

KitaZira — Tue, 18 Sep 2007 07:40:46 GMT

Every week starts out, me thinking that I'll get some free time, and it NEVER works out!!! Ugh!!! I mean, it's insane. I have to wonder, what happened to having a night to just sit back, relax, and read?? Though, I suppose, I kinda bring it upon myself, but sometimes, I wonder what I am doing. And yet, later on, I am going to be thanking my lucky stars that I do keep so busy. Hehe, I guess that's just how life works out sometimes, right??? I think I am just going to sit back one day, and put some headphones on, cancel evverything that I have planned, and just relax. I think that's my problem. If there is possibly a moment of free time, I am the first person to fill it up. I go "Oh look, I have five minutes free on Friday and so and so wants to do this." and there ya go, I don't say no. I guess it never crosses my mind when I'm planning stuff that people NEED a little bit of free time. Anyways, I'm starving, so I'm off to eat. And sorry for this blog being weird. It's been one of those strange days. 8)

Weird

KitaZira — Sat, 15 Sep 2007 06:44:44 GMT

So, I'm not sure why, but everyone seems to think that TODAY (Friday, the 14th of Sept) is my birthday. Nope. It's tomorrow peoples!!! (And no, I'm not telling you my age. 8)) Anyways, off of that topic, I'm going to ramble and be weird, as usual. It's my job (and I have no clue as to why I keep it. IT doesn't pay well.). Have you ever had someone approach you, as if they knew you and started talking about things that have to do with you, but you could just swear you've never met them before??? And it's not the usual "They look really familiar, but I don't remember where from", it's that you just cannot see their face in your memory at all. This keeps happening to me. It's strange. I'm really good at faces, and names. I can meet you once, or maybe just have someone mention your name just randomly, and I'll remember it forever, but lately it's like I feel like the world is stalking me!! (Not that I think you're all stalkers!!) But maybe (and probably most likely) I'm just really stressed out lately and have stopped my people watching ways?? Or maybe I'm on some secret wanted list, and they've hired professional actors to come find me.... Hmmmm... I have this odd feeling it's the first one, but I could be wrong. It has been a weird last few weeks though, and lately things have been strange. Some good, some bad, and some indifferent. I think I am just going to sit back and watch it all. Perhaps that's how I'll figure it all out. So um, yeah, end blog.

It's been one of those weeks (or maybe years??)

KitaZira — Wed, 12 Sep 2007 09:54:53 GMT

I don't know what it is, exactly, that's got me so down. I think maybe I'm just burned out. I haven't a good rest in a long time, and a rest period in weeks. It's all been hectic, and while normally, I'm fine with that, right now just isn't the best time for something like that. It's like, if anything bad is going to happen, it's all got to happen at once, you know? And of course, it can't just happen to me. It's got to happen to my friends, and my family, and basically, I end up feeling shitty, because I don't know anyone having a wonderful day. The whole smiles are contagious thing, I guess. Only really big problem? I don't like advertising my problems. In fact, I hate it. I can't stand doing it, and it's probably because I'm scared, though I don't know what of, but I just don't do it. But I'm fine with others doing so. In fact, I'm the girl to turn to if you just need a shoulder. So, why is it, that in the end, I just can't say "Yes, I've got issues, now help me out please."? God, I know I want to and all, but I don't know where to begin, and who to tell. Honestly, I'm cynical. When people say "I'm there for you" or "If you ever need to talk", for whatever reason, I'm never good at either believing them, nor taking them up on those offers. And it's not like all the people who say that to me are people that I should be doubtful of. Really, I don't know why I'm even posting this. I just needed to think, but not inside my head, if that makes sense, and everywhere else.... is just too loud. So, what's going to happen? Tomorrow morning, I'm going to read this, feel stupid for posting it, tell myself not to feel stupid, and then get on with my life. But that's how I work, every time. All will be good soon. I know it. 8)

Sleeping... Is it possible???

KitaZira — Thu, 30 Aug 2007 13:45:59 GMT

Oh, I hate posting blogs like this, but I am desperate. This is the third night in a row in which I haven't slept. I lay in bed for four hours, before I just got up and sat outside until the sun came up. I have managed to take about one hour of sleep from each day, but I hate having to wake up in the middle of the day, and I hate having to completely exhaust myself to fall asleep. I've tried everything I can think of. I do light stretches, I take a long hot bath, I cut out caffiene, tried some tea (soothing for me.), even tried Unisom (didn't work at all. My family is really drug resistant.), and I am out of ideas. If I don't find anything that works, I'll go to a doctor, but ya know, I'd rather try out all my other options first. 8). So pleas, if you have any ideas, share them!!! I am desperate here. Course, it could just be me going nuts (again...), but I'm trying to avoid that one. 8).