LiberSelph

The Journey 2007 (tm)

klay — Mon, 17 Sep 2007 03:40:51 GMT

whew! thoroughly wrung out in a completely different sense than ever before . . . i'm used to important / intense / exacting experiences leaving me feeling physically exhausted, wraught, strung out and hungover. being sober, i feel fine physically (a bit sleep deprived, but napping and cuddling with my love will solve that...) - the true effects of this journey are psychic and emotional, reverberating through levels of my being that alterations and intoxications kept hidden behind their gates. after months of constant working, preparation, training at the hands of tatiana and a constantly crescendoing vibration just below my conscious threshold, we crammed weeks of packing into a day and a half, grabbed a two hour nap and set off in a heavily laden hyundai elantra on our 24 day journey, of which burning man was just a sliver . . . again, whew! i can't hope to even catch a lo-res shadow of a reflection of this experience, or even echo the gestalt of its effect on my unfolding life... from driving across texas, seeing the horizon proper for the first time in months, confronting situations and coping with naked and novel emotions, dust storms and holy dirt, primitive and dispersed and cushy camping, figuring out that our toothpaste supply was scant and we could have left about ten pounds of buttwipes at home, dancing at the opulent temple and remembering why we praise the sun, dancing at the deep end and remembering why we believe in god's promises, meeting a cat who talks and three who won't anymore, seeing beautiful santa fe and getting MARRIED!!!! there, falling deeper in love and realizing that i had better up my game and my life on a constant basis to keep it that way, finally, finally getting out from behind my screens and enjoying a fulfilling life. . . whatever, that doesn't even scratch the surface. . . i probly won't mention anything else unless we have facetime. suffice to say, WOW! and whew!

Symphonic deConstruction

klay — Thu, 31 May 2007 15:51:55 GMT

Tents are dry now, clothes washed and in the process of being returned to closets and drawers, costumes being prepped for storage, coffee being a-roasted . . . My third burn but my first sober and (more importantly) my first with Tatiana. She has shown me not only a wonderful way to camp but a delicious way to be, to interact with others, to see the beauty in front of me, to get the groove . .. Friday to Sunday post burn was too short, but better than none at all. Thanks Tatiana! And thanks to all I met along the way. Especially those who put together the Lovers' Temple. I asked a Question there, of my Beloved Tatiana . . .

Cumin? Come on in

klay — Sat, 23 Sep 2006 17:57:25 GMT

Life wouldn't be life without my beloved cumin. A spice, A flavor, A tint of color for the eye of my tongue, the hue that is burrito and siesta. Just don't put it on ice cream. Mmmmm, cumin. You make my heart sing.

Hang time / EMMP (Disclaimer: some random and abstract language to follow)

klay — Tue, 05 Sep 2006 10:01:20 GMT

Labor Day, eh? Thankfully the folks at the local booze shop were still a'laborin' (not that it takes much labor to grunt and ring a register, but. . . ) Asleep by 9 pm and awake by 3 am. Scotch, Lone Star, cigarettes and espresso. Porch monkey life with the roommates. Weird intense dreams I can't remember chased away by sandpaper tongue, playa in my mouth. Sleep is a kite whose string was ripped from my hands by a rushing wind. I can see it in the sky, growing smaller with distance. Maybe some ancient god will take pity on me and return it to me soon. Most likely that god would bring his hammer down on my skull and make an aperitif of my delectable neurochemicals. Mmmmm, dopamine martinis. Make mine extra dirty. Think I'm gonna get a tattoo that says HUG LIFE. You know, in that hardcore Olde Englishe Fonte. 'Cuz you see all these chonkies with THUG LIFE - never mind. I skipped all burn events this weekend, but I still found a forge into which to toss my burnables. My heart immolates all the negativity I throw in it, if only I choose to do so. You know that your heart is a portal into the Divine, right? Open, waiting, accepting, eternal. There's a reason for the tattoos on my thumbs. It's fairly simple. Let's go through it real quick: I'm right handed. That means that I project energy with my right side and accept/receive with my left. Historically, the receptive is defined as feminine, or yin, and symbolized by a circle while the projective is defined as masculine, or yang, and symbolized by a line. (We can easily draw parallels to genitalia but won't here/now). The circles increase as they approach my body and the lines increase as they recede to show the passage of energy into and out of my body. The reason there are four of each goes back to a revelation I received on a hay bale a few years back: When approaching life, the datastream, I go through a series of steps to gather, analyze, internalize and process the energy I encounter. The steps are Experience, Mentation, Meditation and Prayer. With Experience, I physically encounter that energy, reacting to it in a visceral way that involves my senses. My senses harvest that energy and gather it into my body. With Mentation, I analyze that energy with monkey and human mind, viewing it from all angles, quantifying, quantizing and connecting it with past associations. With Meditation, I internalize that energy, bringing it past the monkey.human.mind experience in its totality deeper into my being, allowing my self to embrace it, feel it, intertwine with it. With Prayer, I process the energy by passing it into the forge of my heart, pushing it into the portal that leads to the Divine. With this step, I can remove negative attachments from that energy and release it into the world again as a purified, positive energy, thereby ensuring that my passage through the world has been one of beneficial existence. Now, of course, this doesn't happen every time I run into an experience. That's why I marked this revelation on my thumbs: to remind me to activate this process. Hopefully, with this constant reminder in my face, I can internalize it to the point where it becomes an intrinsic part of my nature and I can leave no negative trace in my wake. Well. I like office chairs. You can lean as far back in them as you want and won't fall over. Very handy at the 4 am. So anyone else think this time designation is weird? AM means ante meridian, or before the middle, PM means post meridian, or after the middle. So when I say 4 am, it means 4 before the meridian. Shouldn't it be 8 am? If noon is the meridian around which we are basing our time designation, the nomenclature should be proper. It's 8 hours until the meridian, right? Not 4. Fucklng silly antiquated habits. Pardon me for spewing this s.o.c. I'm awake in a slumber house and have no proper outlet for the fragments that are brewing at the moment. Remember the Bog of Eternal Stench? Remove the association of the Stench and just visualize the constant bubbling action. That's my monkey.human.mind at the moment, unattached from my timestream, in the midst of hang time.