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"The future has several names.
Gender
Male
Age
40
Location
about me
The circus is a tiny closed off arena of forgetfulness. For a space
it enables us to lose ourselves, to dissolve in wonder and bliss, to be transported by mystery. We come out of it in a daze, saddened and horrified by the everyday face of the world. But the old everyday world, the world with which we imagine ourselves to be only too familiar, is the only world, and it is a world of magic inexhaustible." --Henry Miller, The Smile at the Foot of the Ladder vague ramblings: www.livejournal.com/users/ksea/
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! templeton variety,
! Vaudeville,
! Buskers and circle acts,
! cabaret,
! Gold Star Tribe !,
! Idea Factory !,
! stiltdancers,
! stiltdancers SF,
!! CR!T!CAL ST!LTS,
!! UP ON ALL FOURS,
* Ride Share / Carpool *,
** L.S.D. FUEGO **,
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getting that damned magazine going
I find a distinct and dangerous line as I search for the words I once could write, the place I could go inside where I could find home when there wasn't any true home - that place is getting much more difficult to find.
Wed, May 7, 2008 - 2:15 AM
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I try to imagine myself in my tent in The Enchanted Forest in Austin, I try to imagine myself sitting on one of New Orleans' balconies hovering above Chartres St. in New Orleans, or in my tiny apartment just off of Esplanade Ave. there, or on a random block of Colorado on ... read more
Yeah, I tend to write too much, which I decided was not what I wanted this magazine to be about - the /inside page has been completely re-done with a few others in their re-work beginnings, with only one not-so-hidden link if someone wants to read what I write. This gives us all much more freedom, and I believe makes the site much more approachable. www.bigtopmagazine.com
Tue, May 6, 2008 - 8:48 PM
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I mean hells - I'm sick of looking at it too - which is why I implore you, please let me know what you would change, an... read more
This was received in my email just minutes after I started dissecting a few select pages on www.bigtopmagazine.com - looking for ways to make it more inviting, easier to navigate, friendlier - especially for the way we've all become, especially on the web.
Tue, May 6, 2008 - 4:05 PM
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Ya see, I've got this fancy program installed that tells me not only which pages are visited from most to least, but the average time spent on them, what country the visits were from (so far in the past 5 days - 14 countries!!!) and the a... read more
& hopefully, (after no fewer than five straight hours searching for, finding, downloading, loading photoshop brushes, deciding on table size, fonts again, colors, re-creating all the top banners -) get really happy & hopeful that the site will be more inviting, more fun to look at for you (ooooh - pretty!) - which honestly, I loved doing -
Sat, May 3, 2008 - 1:21 PM
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www.bigtopmagazine.com but instead, completely FUCK IT ALL UP. Need desperate help with Photoshop layers & slices, & Dreamweaver tables. You can... read more
Step right this way, ladies and gentlemen, and enter the Big Top! A place of wonder, delight and whimsy, a place of dreams and desires!
Thu, May 1, 2008 - 10:48 PM
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A place called home. This site began as a vision of mine somewhere around a year ago, and though it has been met with many challenges in it’s creation – with more to come, I’m sure – here it is, for you. One of the primary goals I have for it is connecting us, all around the world. The artists, the dreamers, the people who have the power to change the ... read more
May 23, 2007
KSea is awesome. He takes care of me when Bobzilla is away. He scratches my tummy and makes sure I'm OK till Bobzilla gets back.
May 13, 2007
i find it hard to breathe in your arms. it has less to do with the urgency of your embrace, the strength in your slender sinewy limbs... more the relentlessness of your self. i find myself outnumbered, surrounded, because you are starving, ravenous, for life and love and laughter.
and these things i have, like candies spilling out of my overfull hands i hold them behind me, not to taunt you, but unsure that i can surrender them without loosing fingers. you are no tame bird October 15, 2006
it was wonderful seeing you last night. you were looking more balanced than i have seen you
before, gorgeous and fit of course, but also you energetically seemed very clear and free. So many real smiles, even your aura shining. i'm so glad. you're such a great combination of goofy and lovable and innocent, and fucking searingly sexy and worldly and such a piece of inspiring art to look at. fascinating art that creates itself from the inside out and can reach out and grab a lady's hair just right. love.
Unsu...
October 4, 2006
kSea is the best house guest EVER. He puts away the dishes, shrugs at the insanity, and whacks me with English muffins when I am being too nutty for my own good.
kSea is a very sepcial, wonderful man and I am so glad that I am getting to know him and become friends with him. Yay for fabulous friends. June 22, 2006
***ksea flux***
***here's a real angel on rockets for shoes***he skips around with a wiley heart of gold***always finding a way to make me laugh***this one's up to big things***you watch***luv star*** October 18, 2005
I lived with Casey nearly 20 years ago at the New Method warehouse and I really didn't like him. I'm probably the only female who didn't think Casey was hot enough to melt butter. All I could see is that he didn't have any housekeeping skills, and I thought he was kinda shallow. Fast forward to millennial San Francisco: there's Casey walking down the street with Aleph - just like old times. A passing hello, and not much more, he appeared to be a glam/clown car crash. But now that I've gotten to know him through his writing, I've found that he's willing to look into his dark corners and dig around. I admire that in a person. "Enlightenment is not imagining figures of light, but rather, it is making the darkness conscious." (Carl Jung). Now I think Casey is a pretty deep guy, not just a pretty guy.
July 8, 2005
""""····****MAGIKAL WiSH 4 @ DREAMER****····""""
I do admire you... I do not know how you do to live the life you live. You remind me of the replicates in the Blade Runner Film. So wild and beautiful like poetry lost in time... like tears in the rain... Do birds ever come to you? I will be praying for you these days... for you, my friend, to get home soon. I am so very glad life is good to you because you are so good, way over too many stupidities of this world. And, I might be wrong, of course, for I perceive your nature must bring this need to pull it all the way. Not being a slave at any risk... it’s a pretty good damn meaning and purpose. I believe in you, you are an inspiration to life itself... I feel you have been giving way too much, and you are so intense, that could be dangerous like love... you seem from here like a wild tender beautiful authentic being, more than human. I want to pray for you to find what you are looking for, what you really need.... There is something of me in you; still we might be completely opposites... You are, brother, creator of fantasies, worlds, and million thousand ways to fly. I watch you fly, mesmerized; still I wish something wires you to the ground... I don’t know why, sometimes I wish I could become that wire to connect you with your land, or at least, send it to you in some magical way... The higher you fly, the further away, the deeper this wish buries in me... like a dream, it cuts. It’s not easy to say this kind of things, to describe this kind of experience without some fear... I hope you’ll understand… I hope you do receive a kiss and a hug with these words which aren’t enough, I know, but it’s all I got now… BE BLESSED IN LOVE April 3, 2005
hmmmm...it was 15 years ago!...he had a black and white striped tee shirt he wore everywhere and lived with sweet boy Apollo. When we met he had a broken leg with a huge cast--that thing was scratchy and heavy-OW! Pretty green eyes and long red hair to play with-I ADORED HIM (still do SO much, even though we've not seen each other in AGES)!!! we snuggled on his bed on the floor in his living-room-bed-room...he took me to sushi for the first time and made me eat unagi...we would go to Zeitgeist and play pinball and pool and be sober and chainsmoke :) and then he moved to NYC...I came out there and we bought a top hat and went to the Empire State Building and King Tut's Wa Wa hut for 5 am snowball fights and flaming doctor peppers (sober no more!) Then I lost him for so long but he found me (hooray!) I can't wait to see his pretty face some day soon--one of my favorite people in the history of my life, a beautiful man with a tender heart and a yummy wicked streak...I am stealing the pictures from this website from when we were together so I can put them on MY photo page! Love you, C
February 12, 2005
He's Hot, he's deep, he's warm and has an awesome presence. Every time he enters a room, you Know hes there without even turning around. I drool every time I see him.
February 4, 2005
Presence something like murmurs
The sea out past the waves, fast little agitations like ready laughs, and gallons below unseen December 25, 2004
I've enjoyed having a crush on casey for a while now - something about him makes me want to chew on him....
I'm hoping when i get back to SF we can run rampant around the city - I could use a little of his ruckus in my life. December 21, 2004
I just realized that you are pretty attractive for a stranger.
December 3, 2004
KSea is an awesome guy. A kind soul and freak extraordinare.
November 13, 2004
What a beautiful human being- inside and out. And couldn't you just drown in those eyes...with kSea, they truly are the windows to the soul.
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