When I was very young I was extremely slow in learning how to speak. It took me so long to speak that my parents thought I had some kind of a disability until I started talking in full sentences. I skipped the phase in which most begin by saying words- mommy, daddy, light, poopy- nothing. Before I started speaking I only said one isolated word which gave birth to my nickname- "Bunja". The way my parents remember it, is when I was drawing or using my imagination or completely engaged in an activity and "lost in thought", I would eerily chant this word over and over again- "Bunja"

So I did some research on primitive language. Its fascinating. I learned that, naturally, the further you go back into primitive language, the less words there are and you'll have one word that has the same meaning as many different modern day words. You can even find this in latin derived language like Spanish which is why it is sometimes impossible to translate certain sentiments because the understanding is different- especially sentiments of love. In Spanish it is more simple and direct. Thats why there can be
no direct translation for alot of words- just the sentiments or feelings. What I found interesting is what modern words were grouped together to have one meaning or feeling- because thats all that words are- a way of
communicating and collectively understanding or agreeing thoughts and feelings that we all share. But words do very little justice to describe feelings in the grand scheme of things. The classic example would be- How does a bananna taste? I know how it tastes to me- mushy, sweet- but how do we know mushy and sweet feel and taste the same as to the next person? We don't- it's all relative. This is where art is an effective tool that predates language- using the senses to communicate an experience is a much more accurate way than words because that is how we experience this physical reality- through use of our five senses.

But the more complex we get, or the more "intelligent" we are, the more words we accumulate, the more confusion there is on if we are all feeling experiencing or living the same thing. There is truth in simplicity because life is so simple. The more we consume the further away we are from the universal truth. For example- one word meant the same thing in some aborighinal dialect for do or doing (you, I, he she, them, us) and happen or happening to (you, I, he, she, them, us). So in subscribing to this idea, you are truly accepting the fact that everyhting is happening/doing for a reason because it is meant to- yes- fate, faith, destiny, whichever term you prefer. Meaning it is happening to me, I am doing it- its the same in their world. The same was true for the word bunja- which in the same aborighinal dialect means "to kill/to die" - again the action is the same as the passive word- it is the same understanding of doing/happening.

Primitive language such as this is based on sounds that preceeded vocabulary and construction of language. I was also reading about Carl Jung's map of the mind and how he believes that beneath the different states of conciousness, lies the collective conscious- which we all share- and need no creation of language or art to express to one another. This is believed to be the soul.

Then I was reading about hinduism and the belief that dying is just giving birth to new life- in death comes rebirth. You can see this in nature. I was hiking with my friend the other day who is an agricultural studies major. She was showing me how in nature and the ecosystem of the forest we were in how nothing truly dies. It just creates new ecosystems. She was also telling me how its funny that the common thought of forest fires is that they must be prevented when in fact it is necessary somehow for our ecosystem to keep regenerating- I dont remeber the exact theory behind this but she knows her shit- it is her life's work. Anyway- so in Hinduism there is the diety, Shiva which is the human incarnation of god- which we all are. Shiva's power (the power of human beings)- or "the dance of Shiva" is the power to destroy and create simultaneousely. (the physical depiction of this dance and of the god
of Shiva is that picture of the god with all of the arms that move in a CIRCLE) And in going back to the word "bunja" - to kill- is actually creating (which is
funny because I used to chant it while I was being creative).

How I understand it right now is that in being truly present, or being conscious- is to be open. In being open we are doing what we truly feel or what is truly happening. In doing this we are learning and growing every moment which is living every moment. In doing this we are constantly in a state of death/rebirth because we are open to the change that is happening, within us and around us or one in the same thing. We are destroying or killing the person we were, free of attachment, and embracing the new person which is born every moment- the person we are becoming. It is beautiful. It is life. It is simple yet so powerful. Life is a series of circles. Out of darkness comes light. But until we embrace the darkness we cannot truly embrace the light. You get what you give. The greater you love the greater you'll feel sorrow. The more pain you've felt the more joy you'll feel. I've just completed a full circle in my life to realize I'm still here! The same as I ever was. Just better. I embrace the past present and future because it is all one. Thats what I think right now anyway. But thats always changing :0)