spare bedroom blog

talk about a twilight zone

lalalovesyou — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 17:10:14 GMT

this place is fucking trippy today, man

Young Americans Concerned About the Depletion of Botox Reserves, by La La

lalalovesyou — Thu, 15 May 2008 00:58:20 GMT

FLINT, MI. --- The excess of aging Baby Boomers comes at the beginning of what one middle school market study says is an international Botox crisis, forcing young Americans the country over to take a serious look at their future hotness. “What goes up and never goes down?” dead pans Ryan Simons, student and head researcher on the Botox Crisis Study at Imlay City, Michigan middle school, where the study was conducted. “Your age.” Unfortunately, this is one joke no one is laughing at. In fact, it’s the feeling in the field that it’s actually gotten to the point where even children are appalled by old people. Simon’s Mom, 36, is helping to organize this summer’s first annual “Walk-for-Hotness” campaign. “I just wanted to help raise awareness. The MTV generation doesn’t think they have to worry about it so much because our parents are the ones who invented Botox so I know my mom has like a hundred injections just sitting under her bathroom sink. But by the time my kids are old, that supply will all be gone. It’s almost unbearable to think about as a mother. I wanted to do something more than getting this boob job,” said Simon’s Mom, pulling down her v-neck cotton Gap T, “and starving myself to be a good role model for my children.” The imminent future of the Botox shortage has even plagued this years election. Tiffany Kemp, 18 a student at Kearsley Street University who was surveyed for the purpose of this article summed it up perfectly, “I would like to see a woman president. But I am not? Um…going to vote for someone who looks like a man because that’s basically pointless?” At which point she squealed, “Oh. My. God,” and started talking to her friend about how many calories was in the single LeanQuick™ jelly bean she was having for lunch. Republican Senator John McCain who by all accounts and purposes is really frickin’ old, is aware of the feelings of what he calls, “young people today” and has made several passionate pleas to them to just turn up the sound on the television and walk out the room when he’s on. “I know young people today are terrified of my white, wrinkly, thin, and just hanging there skin. I don’t want to scare America’s young people today or tomorrow. I want them to know that with me as president they will always have a choice to not look like ass because I will work tirelessly to make sure that Botox doesn’t run out for future generations.” Libertarian candidate, Ron Paul, in his typical way of skirting all the real issues has made another video blog for Youtube of his views on the exceedingly boring old peoples’ topic of border control. Really, Ron? Border control? Even the stars are feeling the pressure of the crisis, cutting back on Botox expenses by going to other celebrities’ houses for plastic surgery parties. In an interview with Hot Flash magazine, Baby Boomer, Priscilla Presley explained emotionlessly of her botched Botox job, “I’m just like everybody else, you know, I thought it would be easy and fun, and I would save money. I got what I wanted but it wasn’t worth the price I paid. The world needs to come together if they want to save Botox, but leave me out of it. I can afford the good stuff while supplies last.”

I'll see your tulips and raise and you a flagstone.

lalalovesyou — Sun, 04 May 2008 14:19:33 GMT

It's spring. Joyous and warm. There have been three BBQ s and three bottles of wine. I commandeered the dirt space. Found thousands of clumps of gladiolas and flocks and irises growing in the mess of ivy and myrtle and hostas behind abandoned 100 year old Victorian manors. I am breaking apart the bulbs and re appropriating them to different areas in the neighborhood. I was complaining about not having a garden until they started finding dead Indians across the street. The Indians came to me in a dream and told me to get digging. This neighborhood is SO old. How old? So old, that many years ago tribal wars were fought here, in our teapot valley, along the banks of the Flint river; thousands were murdered as centuries passed. The federal government just halted the development of a group of Century 21 houses across the street after the builders found the skeletal remains of a third Indian (yes it took finding THREE dead Indians). They chain linked the site. Nobody uses chain link in this historical gentrified 'hood unless they want to take it all down the next day, but now soon anthropologists and grad students will spend their days across the street excavating the remains of the dead, cataloging and discovering that their demise was from a blow gun, a hatchet, a flint rock, an arrowhead, a length of rope, a horse stampede...maybe they'll pocket little bits of ancient history for their kids and take it back to New York City. I get embarrassed easily. Please God don't let 50 Cent Ho or C.M.H. ask them for a dollar. I am scavenging for wonderful, neglected plants. I am looking at that bed post by itself in the garage and imagining it a place for clematis to grow. I want my own home. I weed. School starts Monday. I wait. In the meantime.

Seeking super creative, super ambitous,task oriented Visionary !

lalalovesyou — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 14:22:06 GMT

This is my latest cover letter to Dave in reply to his ad: We are searching someone with vision. Super creative, super ambitous task oriented individual for a brand new chicago based company. Although you would make little money at first you would be a very important 3rd member of our team and your upside potential could be astronomical. We need someone who has VISION to be able to see the greatness of what this company can become. We need positive thinking, goal oriented individual. Someone with great potential and expertise in web design and management,research, good comunication skills, ability to allways think outside of the box, and who is never satisfied with anything less than perfection. If your hungry please send me info about yourself and why you would be a key to our rising to the top. If I like what I see, I can then communicate with you further and tell you all about us and the pot of gold we are sitting on. Dave * Location: chicago SUBJECT LINE: I don't know jack about html..... Dear "Keeper of the Pot of Gold" (Dave), As the subject to my email reads, I don't know anything about how to actually write code to make a website get those clicky button thingies on it. Don't they graduate people out of universities with that kind of skill who you can hire? Actually! They do! I have a friend who makes $75 an hour doing that kind of thing freelance. Yeah. There's no way I'm worth that kind of money. At least not yet. That's mostly because I'm an emotionally disturbed pot head who spends way too much of my creative talents manipulating men who aren't good enough for me anyway to not call the police to make me leave. You think I'm kidding? Well, okay. I mean there's no record of it. I hate how employers make you PROVE everything all the time. That's why I have to write one of those extended resumes so you can't readily see how often I've sat around unemployed writing novels and making publisher and INDesign documents that no one but me and my friends will ever look at. Listen, I've got an AA and practically a BA but I gave up until such time comes as I can figure out what the hell kind of job there is that pays someone to be like, well, me, basically...which is why I've thought of just starting my own company, but I've done that a million times and have failed miserably. It's those damn numbers.I just want to MAKE SOMETHING, not worry about selling ads or collecting revenue. Well I am going to attach my resume. It's basically just a bunch of made up shit that I can't prove. And NO you CAN'T touch my sword. I'd be surprised if you can even see it because to most people its invisible....of course you *ARE* the one sitting on a pot of gold, so who am to judge....If you can see my sword....you can touch it, okay? Tell me the truth...is this the first time anyone has used the word "shit" in a cover letter? And you may think this is complete joke. But you did say creative. You want creative so you almost HAVE to accept a little crazy. I don't play corporate games b/c I don't HAVE to. No one pays me a ton of money every year to nod my head as creative director when the boss says that *his* idea is more edgier than mine....That's why I won't ever fit into those places. I don't play those games. My work has integrity, authenticity, it has grit and raw, you can almost feel the heat of the blood dripping from it....I'm a real writer, a real artist, I'm a throwback to the beatniks....my photography is my soul and everyone wants to possess it, ya dig? When it comes right down to it Dave, if you want that pot you're sitting on to have gold in it when you get up....you need someone who NEVER EVER uses the phrase "think outside the box" in an ad searching for someone who "thinks outside the box".... Don't be mad. My honesty is something you would be paying me for. XOXO, Alea

would this be literary irony?

lalalovesyou — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 19:59:10 GMT

Happy Valentine's Day to all you smokin' Ho-t-t-t LUVAHS out there.... And to my smokin' Ho-t-t-t single friends hitting the clubs tonight.... there's no such thing as Happy VD.... when you stop at Walgreens for the Altoids pick up some condoms! Heres to the day that honors LOVE in all it's forms! Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. --Christian Bible

so i totally almost bit it about an hour ago

lalalovesyou — Tue, 12 Feb 2008 20:27:26 GMT

Today I came around a curve on the highway in a great big line of cars and semi trucks only to have the guy in front of me slam on his breaks. There was a state trooper pulled over with his lights on under the overpass on a curve. There had been an accident and they were waiting for a tow truck. The line of cars were going fast enough to where I only had the option of slamming on my breaks or rear ending him and pushing him into the state trooper's vehicle and causing him to probably bounce off of the trooper's car and into the other lane of traffic where there was a semi. There was no one behind me so I chose the former. Unfortunately it caused my breaks and my steering to lock up and put me into a tail spin. There wasn't ANY traffic behind me. I spun out into the middle of the highway, circling around once across two lanes before my steering came back and allowed me to turn the wheel into the direction of the back end and pull me out of the spin but as it happened my front left bumper came into direct contact with the right back bumper of the trooper's car. OMFG. I was sitting sideways across two lanes of highway. I looked at the trooper who was looking at me and I think we both mouthed..."FUCK" and then I quickly looked to my left and unbelievablly not ANY other vehicles were barreling my way at 70mph ready to make mince meat out of my sitting duck ass so I drove as fast as I could into the lane behind the trooper facing the opposite of traffic. I sat there beating the steering wheel and dash board. I calmly applied lipstick. I had ignored the phone ringing when I was going into a tailspin, it was my mother. Now I wondered if I should call her. The trooper wasn't getting out of his car. Was he dead? My neck kind of hurts. I was coming to mom's to get Vicodin and Valium. Lately, I've putting the majority of "reality" on hold. Fuck you life, you're totally stupid and I hate you. Yesterday I threw myself dramatically across my bed and said, "I wish I was dead." HOLY MOTHERFUCKING SHIT. I totally almost died today, but there's not a scratch on me, my front bumper is slightly loose but still firmly attached, and my air bag didn't even deploy. I didn't get a ticket. I still have to drive home tonight. There's still tonight I guess. It could happen at any time and that's a lesson for ya. There's all of these chances we have........can you imagine if my mom had called, oh I don't know, five seconds sooner and I had answered???? Do NOT talk on your cell phones while driving. So, there's two lessons. I'm a writer so I enjoy the irony of tempting fate. But that could be a third lesson, no doubt.

a time to work

lalalovesyou — Tue, 06 Nov 2007 15:53:30 GMT

and I am. a lot. i wish i had the time to tell you that if i don't get back to you it's because i work 12 hours a day and when i'm not working (which is never) i'm moving or re-doing a bathroom or a kitchen or putting spells on ex best friends.

Touch-a touch-a touch-a, touch me

lalalovesyou — Sun, 02 Sep 2007 20:10:12 GMT

I got asked if I wanted to play the role of Columbia in the upcoming annual October interpretation of "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Every year Flint puts it on but this year the playhouse that traditionally has had it on stage and film is being torn down and no one knew who was going to do it this year, so the Unitarian Church decided to pick up the torch and I guess they need a Columbia. I can't imagine *why* anyone would peg *me* for a fan of the sci-fi sexually deviant cult classic musical who could pull off the red-headed tap dancing, flashy costume wearing singer who falls in love with someone and then subsequently gets turned into stone by them for her efforts. Yeah. I can't imagine. hmmmm..... I do wanna feel dirty though.

perverts :D

lalalovesyou — Fri, 24 Aug 2007 15:38:54 GMT

since I put up the fake Hilary boobs I've averaged about 20 views extra per day. some of you did pm me a confession saying you thought I was*finally* getting bold with the avatar pics.

Part II, omg someone's mad at you. now what?

lalalovesyou — Tue, 07 Aug 2007 15:37:57 GMT

Just because you asked for a wake-up call, doesn't mean that you will be happy for the phone to ring in the morning. This is true for most all of us at some point in our lives. We want desperately for the answer to come to us, to slap across the face, and then when it does we sit around rubbing our jaws and pouting. Communication is by and large hit or miss. Anyone who has ever taken an introductory Linguistics class can tell you that, but unfortunately one of humanities greatest needs is to communicate and so it should come as no surprise that there are a lot of individuals out there practicing communication and maybe even messing it up royally and so they then get all self concious and STOP communicating altogether. This is where the waters get really thick. Confrontation: Baaaaaaaad BIG ***SCARY*** word, right? Run from it. Avoid it at all costs. Whatever you do, don't stand up for YOURSELF or what YOU think is right. Who are *YOU* anyway? You don't know anything, and neither do they, so just drop it....it's not worth a "confrontation." 7 times out of 10 a confrontaion can be avoided, but it shouldn't be because it's scary it should be because it's useless or not worth it, like with a stranger at the grocery store or some troll in a thread. Now, if you hear that voice telling you that, when you KNOW in your gut that something needs to be hashed out, but you still avoid the confrontation because it's going to be *unpleasant* than you need to know that you are not developing interpersonal communication skills and that this is something employers of the new millenium are looking for in potential job candidates. I dare you to confront somebody, not YOURSELF, somebody else, somebody who, in your gut you know you need answers from or someone who totally screwed you over, or a friend who's life is being ruined by somebody and so you go directly to that somebody and you say "excuse me, but, we need to talk." And if someone reads this blog post and confronts YOU about something I hope you have the guts to talk it out and not run away like some scared little kid or avoid that person by not taking their calls or answering their emails. I hope you have the tenacity and the wherewithall to look them directly in the eye and meet them on an equal playing field and talk about it like adults, like you yourself have some cajones and gumption and stand for what YOU believe in. I take interpersonal communication practice very seriously. What always gets me is that there are people who have made it into their fifties and beyond who still have no ability to confront someone or to be confronted. They will talk incessantly behind the person's back, make snide comments, generally be passive aggressive, or just plain passive and think they are accomplishing something. Why are we so afraid of eachother? Because we are afraid of ourselves. We don't believe we have anything good or right to offer and so we shut up. And what happens is that even then, when we are confronted we lack the ability to be self-assured and commanding of our own faculties enough to trust that we are worth it enough to learn how to communicate. We deprive ourselves and everyone around us of authenticity when we do not practice interpersonal communication. More importantly we deprive ourselves of a chance to have healthy relationships with people instead of toxic ones. It's so easy to deny the existence of a conflict and so therefore easier to avoid a confrontation. But when I clearly see a problem that my insight can help maybe fix, don't I have the right to say something if that said situation itself, and the evenutal outcome of that situation effects ME? Damn skippy I do. And so do you. The most important thing is not *IF* we are in some kind of conflict situation but what we are going to do when we *GET* there because all of us, no matter how well we are at avoiding any type of conflict will eventually be forced to pipe up or simmer down. Once BOTH parties can agree that there IS a problem, i.e. no one is in denial, ... see the thing here we have to realize that if someone says there is a problem than that ITSELF is a problem, we can't say, "I don't see what the problem is, " to someone who says they have a problem and expect at that point for the problem to go away. When we've been confronted our only options are to deny or to accept. And for your information, denial only perpeptuates the situation and makes it worse. "While it may be the other person who created the conflict, you are the other half of the interaction and it is your own response that you have control over and can change." (par. 7, http://www.drbalternatives.com/articles/cc2.html )

Part I, hopefully, no one's coming to rescue you

lalalovesyou — Tue, 07 Aug 2007 14:37:56 GMT

We've all seen it; the pathetic old man whose wife has died, he can't cook for himself because she never let him, poor guy doesn't even know how to work the microwave, friends take pity on him and invite him to dinner, but the rest of the time he's stuck eating cereal or going to the local diner for three meals a day. What good did that wife ever do him by waiting on him hand and foot? What good can come from giving into a grown man's childish desires to be taken care of? Up to a certain point, spoiling of a creature can ruin them. Take my cat for instance. She lives indoors. She doesn't have a connection to her food source. It comes from me and if I die then how will she survive? She is a *PET* though, a tiny thing whom I love, and who brings me great pleasure and so I keep her unto me, feed her, pet her, care for her, pay for her, she never has to do anything for herself really except lick her own ass and if I die I hope my ex husband takes her in because he will treat her the same as I always have but if not then she will suffer at the hands of anyone else because I've spoiled her so completely that another life might pale in comparison rather uncomfortably for her. I have done this *to* her. I was in control of the situation and I manipulated it to suit *me* and I never considered what it might do to her if I should no longer be on this earth. How selfish are we with control? It's so easy to manipulate people into false security because it makes us feel better about the situation. LISTEN TO ME, this is something I've LEARNED: Don't let ever let someone take care of you. Don't ever let someone put a roof over your head. Don't ever let someone put food on your table. It will weaken you, it will spoil you, it will take away your motivation to succeed, it will. I was being taken care of and it nearly drove me to suicide. I stayed with my husband because he was paying the bills, right? Losing myself with every dollar spent that I didn't earn. I had cable t.v. though, right? Yes, it was so hard to give up the cabin and the jet skis and the house on Lake Michigan and three brand new cars in the driveway and $50,000 bucks to remodel my house any fucking way I wanted to. Yeah, still not a good trade for my indepence though. I had to leave in order to grow because my husband wasn't going to stop controlling me with his money. Of course I would like to say that he didn't do it on purpose but maybe some selfish part of him did...? Don't we all do it on some level? Isn't it a way to control to take care of someone who CAN take care of themselves? Obviously it's okay to dote on someone once in awhile, cook them their favorite meal or throw a load of laundry in for them because you know they are working late and can't get to it themselves.... but, what about the mother who allows her 35 year old son to live with her? It's so convenient having a pair of hands around the house that can still do things the old husband can't anymore, isn't it ? And so perhaps it no longer seems as odd as it should that her grown son lives with her and her husband. Whereas before she might have avoided having people over or mentioning it to her colleagues, now suddenly it's widely well known and everyone around her has just chalked it up to being that there *must* be something wrong with the son and the mother is just too proud to say so and it's just an oddity and every family has them, right? They are laughing behind her back though. And his. And maybe this no longer matters to either of them. Maybe they are perfectly comfortable being socially deviant in this regard, ruining each other and their reputations for their own selfish reasons. And in their opinion it's become everyone *else* who has the problem...this is "family" business, no one has a right to pry or judge. But what happens is that in all four of these situations we have what is known as a co-dependency, a mutually beneficial/unbeneficial relationship, what scientists would perhaps refer to as 'competitive/ mutualism symbiosis' and therefore it defies nature itself because how can something be both harmful to both parties and beneficial to both parties? HOW? Because we're human, that's how. And when there's this complex brain organ there's room for all sorts of diametrically opposed nuances and complications; layers of excrement seperated by sheets of filo dough. In other words, not ALL of the picture will EVER be completely clear about any of the above examples and so that's why we need EACH OTHER to scream "BULLSHIT" when stuff like this is going on around us and we let our friends, our fathers, ourselves know that the best gift you can ever have is to be self-reliant. Of course I'm not going to let my cat go off into the wild. But she's my PET, and people.do.not.make.good.pets.

so I have a bat now

lalalovesyou — Sun, 05 Aug 2007 03:36:05 GMT

This whole thing started lastnight. My roommate and I were on the porch eating dinner and watching the bats come out. They live in our attic. They live in our neighbor's attic as well. We talked about vampire bats. Then later I went to my room and he went somewhere else. I thought he was in the basement or something, I don't know where I thought he was. Anyway so around 1 a.m. or so I decided to go and get a snack from the kitchen and when I flicked the light on a bat came out of nowhere doing it's bat thing and we have one of those houses where our living room, dining room and kitchen are all connected through a series of arches in a circle so it was flying around and around and here's me in the kitchen screaming my head off for my roommate to no avail, and so I started freaking out and thinking that the bat *was* my roommate so I ran up the stairs screaming the whole way because no matter how many horror movies you see, when it happens to you....you'll see that for some reason running up the stairs is a good idea so I run into to my room, convinced the vampire bat / roommate is right behind me the whole way and I slam my bedroom door, hyperventilating the whole time. Well it turns out that my roommate had just gone to the bar. So tonight She came flying out of nowhere while were watching a movie (Harsh Times with Christian Bale...that movie is sick, yo) and we opened all the doors and turned on all the lights and acted like a couple of big babies about it for a minute and then she took a little perch on the window top and guess what? She is the size of quarter! And so now I've named the bat Morgana. Don't judge me.

yesterday

lalalovesyou — Thu, 26 Jul 2007 15:34:12 GMT

There is love of course. And then there's life, its enemy. ---Jean Anouilh

you have my permission

lalalovesyou — Fri, 20 Jul 2007 21:14:27 GMT

to get CRAZAY with the Cheezwhiz... Have :::::::"A"::::::: good weekend beautiful people!

Dear Blog,

lalalovesyou — Wed, 18 Jul 2007 22:37:51 GMT

What would I do without you? If it wasn't for you I probably would not be able to remember the last two years of my life.

Fix it all tomorrow?

lalalovesyou — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 17:14:32 GMT

How many of you are going to do this? http://sanfrancisco.tribe.net/event/July-17-2007-Fire-the-Grid-World-Meditation-1111am-GMT-411am-PDT/san-francisco-ca/804210c1-4dc0-4f42-9b32-60cb14178eaa http://www.thothweb.com/fire_the_grid.html (gives you your time for meditation and prayer) I am. I don't consider myself a new agey type person but I definately know that all of the kind and loving thoughts, energy and words I recieve from you guys from a great distance have helped me immensely. One night I get a two hour conversation from Rendall in NYC that inspires me with new hope. The next day a two hour conversation with Grrr Argh in SF that calmed me and made me feel loved and special. I don't know how it works...prayer, meditation, just thinking wonderful thoughts about the little things in life, a cool breeze after a hard run, a lover's touch, the fragrant smell of soap as you wash your hands beneath warm water...all these things big and little that make our lives and our time on this beautiful earth more special... I just thought....the more the merrier and why the hell not? It does mean you PST people have to get up pretty early though...but what if? Just WHAT IF? :)

21 days to break a habit or make a new one

lalalovesyou — Thu, 12 Jul 2007 15:44:44 GMT

...so I kicked the cigs yesterday and went back to running this morning (one whole mile and I didn't die) and then I even did a few sun sutras and warrior poses. Probably not much else will get done today as a result. But this is a long term investment. (that's a nazi anti smoking poster btw)

so zen

lalalovesyou — Tue, 10 Jul 2007 00:53:00 GMT

"There is certainly no purpose in remaining in the dark except long enough to clear from the mind the illusion of having ever been in the light." - T.S. Eliot and I think I should get this....it's like right there...on the tip of my tongue....tickling my brain...

time to go

lalalovesyou — Sat, 09 Jun 2007 23:26:37 GMT

And I will miss you California. And I had a great time. Thanks to all of you who made this time in my life memorable, more tolerable... .We will "meat" again. Until.......................... <sob>

Jesus and La La Chain

lalalovesyou — Tue, 22 May 2007 20:40:32 GMT

Well I got a chain letter from Jesus today, or a messenger from Jesus or someone who saw Jesus who told them to write a chain letter. I don’t know. I got all caught up instead in the description of this person’s Apocalypse and I have to tell you that it was phenomenal….colored crystals and silver angels and trumpets (which I’ve never thought of trumpets as being a heavenly instrument, but whatever), and not harps. I’d repost it here for you but there are all sorts of logistics involved in chain letters and I’m not really sure how that would work because you have to send it to four 4 people in order to get the special surprise you’ve been waiting for. I read the fine print and evidently even if you don’t believe in Jesus you’ll still get a special surprise from him so if anyone wants it PM me and I’ll send it to you.

woman in waiting

lalalovesyou — Sat, 19 May 2007 19:55:47 GMT

Shift 1. move -transitive and intransitive verb- to move something or *somebody* to a different position, or be moved to a different position It’s on the keyboard, so you can look at it everyday to remind you. Not you. Me. I am the one needs reminding. Spending too much time here in front of this machine and lately well I think of home, my apartment, my dining room window that stares at The House. “How are you doing with the divorce?” Sincere: Catches me off guard. I haven’t seen her in two years, she’s stopped smoking, thinks she’s gained too much weight, unhappy in her own marriage (?) but happy certainly all around. She looks great to me. They all do. Because they’re so nice? Because they are my best friend’s friends and family and she’s not here and they all love her so much so I’m proxy for the night getting the love poured on me and dinner and drinks and a free bag of Purple Urkel (that smells like a blueberry farm during harvest season). (sp). (?). I’m tired mostly. Alternating between lovely jagged spells of jaded elitism and more time consuming and irritating droughts of unsettling obsessions. I can’t shake certain memories. You know, and it’s not MY fault…they just pop into my head and sometimes they won’t get out of there even if I’m banging on my forehead with the palm of my hand. I suppose because my running autobiography is always obscured with a fictional response to heighten the drama, I come across as being a little ‘out there’ There are certain things you have to learn to accept about yourself, one of the more disheartening revelations in my OWN life is to realize that I will never be one of the characters in my books. So, I’ve settled on pretending. I get that from my father. A disease of impracticality. Symptoms include day dreaming, smoking too much weed, losing oneself to science fictionious impulses, et cetera. Post hoc, ergo proctor hoc I sit here now before this keyboard. Thankfully for a minute preoccupied. Not thinking about the sunshine which is vexing for me today. I have the window open to torture myself and want back my dreams. They’ve forsaken clarity to vagueness and instead play like shadows in a circular tunnel…headlights bouncing off the concrete. Kind of want to get lost somewhere in Italy. Want to wind up in some silhouette town in the mountains. At dusk. The night gardens blooming; lingering lilacs still warm and fragrant an ephemeral moment like every moment, takes courage to enjoy it. Not to cry at the apparition of perfection, doomed. To get shit ass drunk on Limón cello. (sp) Well I ought to get back home you know. My OWN family needs me. My friends are worried about me. They have every right to be. Summer’s coming. It will by idyllic and psychedelic and full of poetry and drums. THEY can’t take that away OR the memory of the scraped knee from the bicycle accident coming up Grand Traverse Street. Maybe I’ll just sit here all day in my hotel room. Draw the curtains and wait for you. I’m sure you’re sending your love.

what she said

lalalovesyou — Fri, 18 May 2007 19:56:12 GMT

http://people.tribe.net/queeneofpie/blog/5ecce89a-0396-4f9e-90d3-cc0625f029a5

La La Savard

lalalovesyou — Thu, 26 Apr 2007 08:20:06 GMT

holy crap oh my god I'm in love. http://www.savardhypnosis.com/ http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=35655432 I'm so going back on myspace. *sigh* holy crap.

ooo la la

lalalovesyou — Sat, 21 Apr 2007 19:00:31 GMT

I love to cook and it's one of my talents, but for the last year I haven't really been doing much of it. I blame it on school a little but the dissolution of my marriage had the most to do with it. I used to cook for him all of the time. A different dish every night sometimes for months. I grew all my own herbs and created my own recipes. But as things grew more tense around the house my desire to do this nice thing I had once done with pleasure began to wane and it became a chore. So for the last six months to a year I have barely cooked at all. I took to eating like a six year old. Grazing here and there, mostly peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, some spaghetti, a banana once in awhile, I even started eating meat again because it's easier. Then I got out here and Belo started taking me along with him to dinner and I suddenly rediscovered food. Good food. Nicoise salads, and bananas fosters, prime rib, escargo, lamb shank and oso bussco. I have eaten a salad everyday, yesterday I had a salad for breakfast. I discovered this swank little french bistro way off the strip called Josette's and the owner (Josette) is this amazing self made millionaire who is about five feet tall and weighs less than a hundred pounds, striking blue eyes with platinum hair and a french accent as thick as creme and her food is to die for. I can't wait to take Belo in to meet her tomorrow since he has been gone for a couple days in Florida going to his son's graduation. I think he's really going to like her. I told her I was bringing him in to meet her and that he has his own money and so he doesn't need hers and she was like, "That's good." Later tonight I am taking some of the girls on crew over there for the free cabaret show. We're in Vegas for another week now so I'll be going in there as often as I can. The first night I ate there it was take out and she sent me home with pastry because she is also a pastry chef as well as renowned french cuisine chef and guess what? She's going to be filming a pilot epi for the food network! How cool is that? She is all kisses on the cheeks and she runs the whole restraunt by herself with an executive chef and back of the house help, but it's only her on the floor and she has to okay everything that comes from the kitchen. And she's really efficient, and skinny from running around the restraunt. How many millionaire waitresses do you know? Please go next time you're in Vegas. Knowing you guys you will adore her and her food as much as I do. http://www.JosettesBistro.com Anyway, it's nice eating like an adult again.

Child of the NIght.....like, duh.

lalalovesyou — Wed, 18 Apr 2007 06:36:49 GMT

You are The Moon Hope, expectation, Bright promises. The Moon is a card of magic and mystery - when prominent you know that nothing is as it seems, particularly when it concerns relationships. All logic is thrown out the window. The Moon is all about visions and illusions, madness, genius and poetry. This is a card that has to do with sleep, and so with both dreams and nightmares. It is a scary card in that it warns that there might be hidden enemies, tricks and falsehoods. But it should also be remembered that this is a card of great creativity, of powerful magic, primal feelings and intuition. You may be going through a time of emotional and mental trial; if you have any past mental problems, you must be vigilant in taking your medication but avoid drugs or alcohol, as abuse of either will cause them irreparable damage. This time however, can also result in great creativity, psychic powers, visions and insight. You can and should trust your intuition. test yourself: www.flarn.com/~warlock/tarot/ Accurate, I've noticed. Not just for me, either, for everyone taking this.