Really trying not to get stressed out about this...

But this shoulder of mine is not good. I'm in pain, I have been in pain everyday for the last month, I'm taking the maximum drug dosage and watching the clock until I can take the next dose. I'm booked in with a specialist next week and will find out whether I'm eligable for a cortisone injection into the shoulder joint and physiotherapy of needed. I'm doing my best to be calm and I run through breathing exercises if it gets really bad. I know this is the acute stage and it will get better. I'm holding on to that thought with both hands and trying not to be negative.

The one thing that threatens to break down my defences is the thought of not being able to dance any more. Really really don't want that thought in my head.

Typing with one hand kinda sucks...so this is gonna be a short one.

I've strained muscles in my right shoulder - dont know how. It was probably a series of things not bad or any thing just been busy. Its been painful enough to warrant a trip to the docs today to make sure i didn't do anything major. i need to go see my lovely osteo lady again.

so painkillers have been prescribed which i consider to be a last resort - but i do have to keep it moving so it maybe necessary. Reiki and homeopathy to strengthen it again and i'll be back in no time.

meh :) xx

Update....

Well I had a good think over the weekend, plus a Reiki session, tarot reading and lots of meditation....

I went into work on Monday and told them that I was retracting my resignation for now but I want to see some changes and fast. They were open to it and one of our managers is travelling to Dublin tomorrow to try and iron out some of the problems we've been facing. When I say 'we' I do so in the full knowledge that any changes made will be more in favour of what management accounts want than what I want. But I've had my say and got it out of my system, they are not letting me go to Dublin to crack the whip so its out of my hands. I've done my best.

I'm sort of floating above it now. I did alot of work on myself over the weekend and it was badly needed. I've been neglecting my spiritual side way to much down here and that has to change.

All together now... deep cleansing breath. :) xx

So I handed in my resignation today...

but they wouldn't accept it. I gave them my reasons, not so much what I wrote about in my last post as that is a personal thing but I talked about the issues that I have with my international accounts and the 'politics' that higher management are involved in and how that affects the material I get from the international offices, which is sub-standard to say the least. Not my work I know but at the end of the day but I'm the one who has to answer to management accounts at the end of the month and try to give reasons and solutions as to why the figures are out sometimes by a couple of 100k. Seriously its childs play what they have to send to me, they get paid a HELL of alot more then I do to generate these reports - and they are taking the piss. My job is not hard, at the end of the day, but dealing with all the BS from above is driving me nuts, in case you hadn't noticed :)

They refused the resignation noting that despite the fact that the air turns blue around my desk sometimes, I do good work and they want me to stay on the international accounts. They asked me to consider it over the weekend and give them a final answer on Monday.

So I have a choice, either hand the letter over on Monday or continue as before. Its final decision time...