My Life - by Me.

Really trying not to get stressed out about this...

Lauramaeve — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 11:46:55 GMT

But this shoulder of mine is not good. I'm in pain, I have been in pain everyday for the last month, I'm taking the maximum drug dosage and watching the clock until I can take the next dose. I'm booked in with a specialist next week and will find out whether I'm eligable for a cortisone injection into the shoulder joint and physiotherapy of needed. I'm doing my best to be calm and I run through breathing exercises if it gets really bad. I know this is the acute stage and it will get better. I'm holding on to that thought with both hands and trying not to be negative. The one thing that threatens to break down my defences is the thought of not being able to dance any more. Really really don't want that thought in my head.

Typing with one hand kinda sucks...so this is gonna be a short one.

Lauramaeve — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 15:47:05 GMT

I've strained muscles in my right shoulder - dont know how. It was probably a series of things not bad or any thing just been busy. Its been painful enough to warrant a trip to the docs today to make sure i didn't do anything major. i need to go see my lovely osteo lady again. so painkillers have been prescribed which i consider to be a last resort - but i do have to keep it moving so it maybe necessary. Reiki and homeopathy to strengthen it again and i'll be back in no time. meh :) xx

Update....

Lauramaeve — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 22:50:59 GMT

Well I had a good think over the weekend, plus a Reiki session, tarot reading and lots of meditation.... I went into work on Monday and told them that I was retracting my resignation for now but I want to see some changes and fast. They were open to it and one of our managers is travelling to Dublin tomorrow to try and iron out some of the problems we've been facing. When I say 'we' I do so in the full knowledge that any changes made will be more in favour of what management accounts want than what I want. But I've had my say and got it out of my system, they are not letting me go to Dublin to crack the whip so its out of my hands. I've done my best. I'm sort of floating above it now. I did alot of work on myself over the weekend and it was badly needed. I've been neglecting my spiritual side way to much down here and that has to change. All together now... deep cleansing breath. :) xx

So I handed in my resignation today...

Lauramaeve — Fri, 22 Feb 2008 20:14:47 GMT

but they wouldn't accept it. I gave them my reasons, not so much what I wrote about in my last post as that is a personal thing but I talked about the issues that I have with my international accounts and the 'politics' that higher management are involved in and how that affects the material I get from the international offices, which is sub-standard to say the least. Not my work I know but at the end of the day but I'm the one who has to answer to management accounts at the end of the month and try to give reasons and solutions as to why the figures are out sometimes by a couple of 100k. Seriously its childs play what they have to send to me, they get paid a HELL of alot more then I do to generate these reports - and they are taking the piss. My job is not hard, at the end of the day, but dealing with all the BS from above is driving me nuts, in case you hadn't noticed :) They refused the resignation noting that despite the fact that the air turns blue around my desk sometimes, I do good work and they want me to stay on the international accounts. They asked me to consider it over the weekend and give them a final answer on Monday. So I have a choice, either hand the letter over on Monday or continue as before. Its final decision time...

oh yea....

Lauramaeve — Fri, 15 Feb 2008 15:27:06 GMT

I actually went for a Reiki session a couple of weeks ago. Sooo badly needed. It was the first time in over a year I've had one given by someone else and I felt so much more solid and grounded after it. THEN I got in contact with an old friend who's living in Queensland AUS and, without going into to much detail, I was very positively assured that I am most definately NOT a broken down Reiki Master. No SIR. Everything is working and flowing and the only problem is that I'm to knackered and clouded to realise it. Send me good vibes people..... and maybe some Nytol :D xx

Its been a while..... again

Lauramaeve — Fri, 15 Feb 2008 13:53:54 GMT

I feel like I've been saying that to alot of people recently. Thought I should pop in here to let you know I'm all alive and marginally sane, as per :) Moirai is kicking off this year, which is awesome. I wish very much I had more time to put into it, really I do. But then everyone wishes they had more time for the things they love right? Could say the same thing for family and friends. Yer, feeling a leetle thin on the ground of late but its nothing I can't handle. If it happens that I find I actually can't handle it you will normally find me under the duvet, leave a message with the cat. xx

A week of travelling and workshops....

Lauramaeve — Tue, 29 May 2007 19:10:41 GMT

In Dublin with Tribe Intensivo! then on to Northumberland for the fabulous Tribal Ford 2007 weekend. Yea, it was fabulous. :) The week in between was spent visiting family in Derry and old friends in Dublin. The first Sunday afternoon in Dublin will stay with me as I went to visit my Reiki Teacher who's daughter is very ill right now. Ailish and I did a session on Mother and Daughter and the good energy continues to flow out to them and their family. Good vibes and warm thoughts welcome. The workshops at the intensivo weekend and at Ford were excellent and inspitational, as was finally being able to put faces on so many familiar names on TRIBE! :) I'm off to practice my new sword tricks.... La~ xxx

One week to go....

Lauramaeve — Mon, 02 Apr 2007 13:10:54 GMT

Till our show at the 491 Gallery in Leyonstone. I'm putting an official invite on TRIBE later tonight. Got my voice back (Yay!) paid up my place on TRIBAL FORD and I've booked my workshop places for the SOLACE weekend in Dublin so I'm all excited cos I get to see my Dublin girls again. Its been WAY to long.... Other than that work is still hectic and these days if I'm not working I'm dancing or making stuff to wear when I dance. Oh... and I love my new place. I love the messy boys. I love that I share with a fantastic Tribal bellydancer who will talk ATS and Fusion with me into the small hours. I love that I can convert my room into a dance studio, I love that its big bright and airy and that the beautiful ginger cat loves sleeping on my bed..... I want to write more but the day job is calling.... back later xx

Bam!

Lauramaeve — Wed, 21 Mar 2007 16:40:29 GMT

Is the noise you make when you hit a wall - which normally happens when you are to busy running to fast to look where you are going.... Which is whats happened to me this week. Metaphorically speaking of course. I've been running since Christmas... work, dancing, boyfriend etc. Not that I haven't been enjoying it of course..., well ok there have been some frustrating parts like the fact that I am only just getting back to preformance level after hurting my back at New Year. But now I know a really good Osteopath in Brixton if you are ever looking. And work has been hectic like you wouldn't BELIEVE. Tell me why working in London is such a good idea again? :) And the best news is that I moved, I now live in Mile End, good bye Greenwich and the flat above the restaurant with the dodgy Landlord... I now share a huge and beautiful 19th Centuary town house with a fellow Tribal bellydancer, 5 messy male student types and a gorgeous ginger cat. Then came this past week and my house warming party, which was a big success and alot of my old friends, some whom I haven't seen in months showed up. Awesome..... until the part where I wake up on Sunday morning with no voice. Laryngitius. Sucks. But they do say that only 7% of communication is verbal so this is proving an interesting experiment... so far I have found out that my handwriting sucks too. So I'm off work for the week and by that rule I am technically not supposed to be dancing either but I can't resist the odd bodywave here and there. No westferry practise tho' so I miss my girls. I have however FINALLY watched FCBD presents SAN FRANCISCO BELEDI - now THAT is awesome. Many many thoughts on Tribal veil work..... And boyfriend has been incredibly sweet bringing me chocolate and TLC.... So I'm good, got no voice but it'll come back in time.... hey ho.... La~ xx

Sorry its been a while....

Lauramaeve — Wed, 31 Jan 2007 13:30:36 GMT

...Since I last wrote... To be honest I have only been in here briefly since Christmas. Life has been busy, rushed, exciting, tragic, energising, inspiring, heartbreaking, thought-provoking and well.... hectic. And thats only since New Year! :) I owe most of you emails I know and I promise that I will catch up with you all soon. I have so much news for you all I just need to find the time (and the comfortable position to sit and type with a back injury!) to get them written. Gotta get back to work! Love and hugs to all La~ xxx

Argh! Already??

Lauramaeve — Mon, 23 Oct 2006 20:42:22 GMT

So I'm at work today and I go out for lunch and walking past the big electrical store next to my office building... and there they are..... great big window sized blow up SANTA's along with the usual gaggle of REINDEER and SNOWMEN. OK ok I'm not the biggest fan of Christmas (don't get me started) but.... its October for goodness sake..... give me a break. I mean seriously.... this makes me so mad the way shops are tripping over themselves to get 'seasonal goods' on the shelves MONTHS ahead of when they actually should be there. More stress, more money more commercialism more BS... earlier. WHY?? Am I overreacting? I don't think so......

London Tribal Troupe 'ADHARA' make their Debut!

Lauramaeve — Tue, 26 Sep 2006 12:54:07 GMT

Last night saw the debut preformance by ADHARA, London's newest Tribal Bellydance Troupe. Preforming a presentation of Traditional, Tribal and Tribal Fusion styles, the troupe introduced a packed house at the Lambeth Walk Day Centre's Autumnal Arts Event to the world of Tribal Bellydance. Pictures of the show are (hopefully) on their way... look out for these ladies at future gigs!

.... wedding pics

Lauramaeve — Fri, 22 Sep 2006 21:34:09 GMT

Hmmm... can't get my hands on the wedding pics just yet... but I will! La~

Its been an eventul couple of weeks.....

Lauramaeve — Fri, 22 Sep 2006 21:19:26 GMT

And its been a while since I've written, but now I'm sitting in my bedroom with my shiny new laptop (yay!) and the evening stretches before me. So I hope you are sitting comfortably..... First there was the wedding - not my wedding no.. I'm quite happy being a young free and single hot chick with superpowers for now thank you very much! Two of my friends tied the knot in a 4 day 'Festival of Love' in the breathtakingly beautiful highlands of Scotland - 30 of us in our very own castle for days of awesome celebration and general lovelyness... the pictures speak for themselves - go have a look. We ate, drank, enjoyed the peaceful outdoors (the weather was lovely) and partyed for all we were worth. The ceremony was held outside under the trees with the lough and the old castle ruins in the distance. And the food..... oooh the food....! *^V^* Leaving was painful, but I brought back a whole bunch of happy memories... and some yummy sweet potato pies :p. I barely had time to unpack and repack and I was off again to see my parents for a few days of TLC and fighting over the remote control... ahh the good old days! Seriously though it was lovely to be back again and I saw my little second cousin twins whom I haven't seen since they were babies (they are three now and just about to start nursery). I went for a visit with Mum and Dad thinking 'aw they are not going to remember me' but as soon as I got out of th car Olivia ran over and jumped in my arms.... well I'm smitten. She's a little star - and not afriad of the camera t all! Malachy is the quiet one.....Broody... me? never...... Then it was back to London.... and a crash landing back to reality. We all got letters from our landlord the other night saying that he is renevating the building and he wants us all to move out in 2 months! I'm fine about it... after thinking it through a bit.. I mean I have been talking about moving for months (this place REALLY needs a rebuild/tear-it-out-and-replace-it/facelift... the works.) The Landlord is definately doing the right thing... but me being a creature of comfort and cosy habit I have made a nice little nest for myself here and at the end of the day I was going to move sometime yes.. in my own time... I guess this is the kick-in-the-arse my Mum always talks about! So yea, I'll find a new place ya know - it is London after all. I feel bad for my neighbour, he's lived here YEARS and loves it.... there are alot of little things I'm gonna miss. But I'm not going to talk about that now cos I'm still here and still enjoying them :). Other London news is that I am dancing my first 'official' London gig next Monday. There are 6 of us altogether for this gig and a full troupe of about... 10(?) and we are in the process of finding a name for ourselves. This weekend is dedicated to final rehersals and costume details and yup... I'm pretty excited.... La~ xx

I've just booked my place for.....

Lauramaeve — Fri, 01 Sep 2006 11:54:10 GMT

~*TRIBAL FORD 2007* ~ Yeah baby!! La~ x

Brrrr......

Lauramaeve — Wed, 16 Aug 2006 10:57:17 GMT

I'm losing the will to live in work today - I'm putting it down to lack of sleep for the last two nights (max 3 hours each). I'm blaming my current quit smoking regime... side effects blah. ANYWAY I thought I would pop in and say hi. And if any of you Londoners are reading this hasn't it gotten chilly! Are we holding out for the much rumoured about Indian Summer...? I don't know. Lovely crispy autumn is in the air - my favourite season for its colours and smells. I love walking over Waterloo Bridge in the morning and catching the breeze coming down river.... Work calls..... more later xx

Revelations, Affirmations... and some things some of you should know.

Lauramaeve — Mon, 24 Jul 2006 21:12:56 GMT

So. After all my bellyaching (no pun intended) on this blog last week I had a very intense and interesting weekend. Firstly I was in Dublin with workmates for a birthday weekend…which also happened to be the same Saturday I was dancing at Feile Draiocht (Google it) with Rashani. At the gig (which is an Irish Witchcraft, Pagan and Earth-Bound Spirituality gathering if you haven’t googled it) I met old friends, some of which I haven’t seen in years. Secondly – when I was dancing I did something a little different. I danced from the HEART and not from the HEAD. I figure its like a drip system. I’ve been worrying for so long about arm position and posture so I decided to let it go… just a little bit… my body has been doing this for a long time – it will remember… the knowledge will seep down …and I let my spirit join in. It may not have been the best most precise dance in the world – rules were broken I admit – but I LOVED it. Right up until the music started I was really nervous that… well that I just wouldn’t be up to scratch. I was. No matter what other people thought. For me, I was. After the gig I intended going to the aftershow party with the Rashani girls but found myself mingling with the crowd and reconnecting with many old Witchy and Pagan friends (and some new ones) We talked into the wee small hours and I was really surprised to hear what people had to say. So many old faces came to me and said how much they thought I had grown and matured, both in the Dance and in the Craft – which really surprised me because I haven’t consciously ‘practised’ (Craft) for years. Then it dawned on me – I’ve been practising so long that its become intertwined in my everyday life in a million tiny ways (don’t know if this makes sense to all of you but it’s the only way I can describe it). I came to realise late on in the night that I have been so focused on where I am right now that I have closed myself off from… well myself really. I’ve been giving a lot of Tarot readings and Reiki sessions as and when people want them…. ‘freebies’ basically and the feedback has been great – people in work are spreading the word that there is a ‘fantastic Tarot reader in the Finance Department and you should get your cards done!’ I’ve been brushing it off because I think they are having a bit of a laugh, but something a good friend said to me on Saturday night, which was underlined by something my boss (of all people!) said… well its not something I’m going to forget in a hurry. My friend told me to stop giving it all away and start taking something in return. I’ve been so involved with ‘now’ and London and the corporate environment and the tedious commute and my dismal love life blah blah blah that I’ve forgotten whats really important. These are MY talents and I need to respect and acknowledge them. And me for that matter. Also he told me to start charging for sessions (mates rates negotiable!!) ;). So….. I’ve had my fair share of crap over the last few years (who hasn’t?) but I’m here, I’m alive, I’m doing alright – and I’ve picked up a few nifty talents along the way! To Nell, Wendy and the Rashani Girls, if you are reading this – I’m gonna be honest with you now. Dancing with you has been a serious of very bittersweet events for me in recent times. I know you know cos I say it a million times that I miss you and that is true. Done. But moving to London was my choice, my decision – no one else’s. Because of the frame of mind I’ve been in recently I’ve felt… a little resentful and left out – and yes… jealous of you all. And for that reason I’ve been keeping you all at arms length (so to speak). But I’ve been doing a good deal of thinking and head clearing (see above). First and foremost you are my friends and I know that I have no right or reason to feel like this. Since I have met each of you you have been nothing but lovely to me – even at times when I didn’t deserve it. I am a lucky girl to have you lot on my contacts list. One more thing, no matter what is going on in your everyday lives you have to know this. You are all, each and everyone of you BEAUTIFUL dancers. I was watching you all on Saturday and I was amazed. You are incredible and I am incredibly proud of you. NEVER STOP DANCING!! Love (you better believe it) Laura

I'm sorry to everyone I know in London but....

Lauramaeve — Tue, 11 Jul 2006 12:57:56 GMT

WHY WHY WHY DID I LEAVE DUBLIN???? I left a twice weekly class with a great teacher whom I still had a lot to learn from to come to London which - don't get me wrong - is a great town - but the bellydance scene is to scattered down here. There is no scructure here.... everyone has their own ideas about what Tribal Bellydance should be and there is no cohesion. So I thought to myself hey, why don' t you teach a class? and so I gave it a go.... all it did was leave me more frustrated and (dare I say it) jaded with the whole thing. Dancing is not supposed to be this HARD.... I'm not supposed to feel like I'm banging my head against a wall right? For anyone who thought otherwise I am putting you straight right now. I am an ATS dancer - I play around with Fusion - but at the end of the day ATS is what I trained in and it is what I will go back to. But what is an ATS dancer without a troupe...? She is a solo dancer I suppose. And a solo dancer is supposed to find her own path. So thats it - I'm sticking to my own path in this jungle for a while to see where it leads. I am dancing in my own time and space. I simply do not have the energy right now to let anyone else share the space with me. Maybe in the future I'll have a look and see whats out there but right now I have to focus all my energy in keeping ME going - cos I'll tell you something ladies and gents - I'm scared that I'm gonna lose this. I need all the energy I can muster to fight the feeling that this is all slipping away from me and there is not a damn thing I can do about it. In my heart of hearts I know I made a huge mistake leaving Dublin when I did. Sorry if this offends anyone but thats the truth. I've met some lovely people from the dance world and beyond in London and I will never regret that. But walking away from Wendy's class and my life in Dublin when I did was a mistake plain and simple. One I am paying the price for now.

Summer in London part deux

Lauramaeve — Fri, 05 May 2006 16:35:22 GMT

So I was feeling a bit glum when I wrote the last entry and I went out for some lunch and a wander around.... to Covent Garden with the food courts in the old market, the buskers, the capoiera dancers, acrobats, living statues and the guy who plays a guitar like its a piano. Oh and don't forget the Carousel on the corner.... Got some yummy pasta from my favourite café with the Portugese guys behind the counter who call me 'darlinnng' and always make me smile. Have a good weekend everyone xxx

Summer in London

Lauramaeve — Fri, 05 May 2006 12:30:05 GMT

Its a beautiful day today in London's West End, the sun is shining, the birds are singing.... well I think they are singing but I can't hear them over the traffic! I'm in a 6th floor office overlooking Waterloo Bridge and South East London with Canary Wharf in the distance. Once I've finished this post I'll be popping out to get some lunch and I might go for a quick walk around Covent Garden.... I always say that I am terribly homesick for Dublin, which is true I do miss it, but on the other hand London has alot to offer - if you know where to look. And without realising it I think I have carved out a niche for myself here. The Tribal basics course finished last night but the Studio are keen to keep a Tribal class going there so we are in the process of finalising days and times for ongoing classes and workshops. I'm also going to look for a second class space in a more Central/Southern location. Details will be posted as and when they are sorted. The niche still has a few kinks in it - living space is the next thing I have to deal with. No matter how much I beg and cajole my skinflint landlord he will not carry out maintenence on the flat - he thinks the fact that when it rains it rains outside my bedroom door from the broken skylight is well... just not important enough to spend his hard earned money on. He would rather give it to his sons so they can buy Hummers. natch. Then there is my just plain sad and pathetic love life - that says it all really. So yea - London is fine if you put your head down and get on with it...but if I didn't have Tribal as an escape I would have gone nuts long before now. I will always be grateful for that. You can take the girl out of Ireland but........ xxx

Teaching and Learning...

Lauramaeve — Fri, 21 Apr 2006 15:11:29 GMT

I taught my second class last night. Challenging is the best way to describe it. My aim is to give everybody in the room a good basis in Tribal - the challenge is finding the balance between communicating to the absloute beginner and the more experienced dancer - and there are many different levels of experience within the class.... Still lovin' it though...... *^x^*

countdown continues.....

Lauramaeve — Mon, 10 Apr 2006 12:51:15 GMT

Monday morning... I only just managed to drag my tired ass into work. I danced so much yesterday that both my hips hurt today - but I know its 'good' hurt - no regrets and plenty of stretches when I get home (and yes I am drinking tonnes of water!!!). Its close to crunch time now. The music is sorted - the moves are laid out. The studio is prepared. I'm even planning moves in my dreams!

The countdown

Lauramaeve — Wed, 05 Apr 2006 11:52:17 GMT

Time is ticking away to April 13 and the start of my class. The nervous butterflies are working their magic but the excitement is getting the better of them My social life has dropped to almost zero in the last few weeks as I get ready for the class - I still have alot to do but I kind of want it to be here - know what I mean? I have already met the lovely Laura Taf and I'm really looking forward to meeting the rest of you!

Told you I was going to be a busy girl..... ~:)

Lauramaeve — Tue, 28 Feb 2006 14:04:40 GMT

Red Onion Studios, Walthamstow presents….. ~*GYPSY TRIBAL*~ A four week course in Tribal Bellydance Basics taught by Laura of RASHANI INTERNATIONAL. Thursdays at 7pm beginning 13th April 2006. Classes last 1 hour. Cost: Members £6.00 non-Members £8.00

Endings and Beginnings

Lauramaeve — Fri, 27 Jan 2006 17:28:30 GMT

I don't know how this post is going to turn out so please bare with me.... I'm sitting at my desk in the office right now. its the last Friday before the redundancies take effect and alot of people including some of my best friends have decided to leave today. So we all went out for lunch and it was lovely, and to my surprise quite emotional. I had no idea this was going to be so hard. One minute I'm laughing the next the tears arrive. I may put on a tough 'Norn Ireland' front most times but sometimes I suprise myself realising just how big a mushy softie I am! At least I'm not the only one. Everyone is very subdued. BUT on the bright side, just before I went to Amsterdam I got a new job! ~:) yay me! I start on Wednesday, the day after I leave here. So there is no time to be sad - onwards and upwards I say! Reiki work is starting to come in too since I got the Reiki table as a present from my fabulous friends. AND there is word on the grapevine that RASHANI may have a spot in the St Patricks Day parade in Dublin in March.... So yup - no time for sadness. One door closes and another opens... and I'm gonna be a busy girl...~;) xx